11. (Jan 21-22)
Blood / "Just get it over with" / Memories
Lucretia is sitting in her office on the Moon Base of the Bureau of Benevolence, approximately six months after The Day of Story and Song. Well, exactly one hundred and eighty-three days, five hours, and eleven minutes… but who is counting really?
The truth is, she has been counting. There isn’t a day that has gone by where she isn’t thinking about how long it’s been since everyone’s memories came back.
More specifically, she has been counting every day since she lost the trust of her colleague and friend, Taako.
The guilt never left after she saw the absolute hatred in Taako’s eyes when he finally remembered. She didn’t realize that Taako would take things this hard. But didn’t she? She knew, she knew Taako and Lup were practically one and the same. Removing one-half of Taako’s entire life wasn’t fair, and she knew that. But she had to do it, she needed them to understand that her plan was going to work, and to do that she would have to make them forget.
She feels justified for her actions, but the guilt never leaves. That look in Taako’s eyes haunts her dreams constantly. Sometimes it’s more than a look of disgust, and she wakes up in tears from impossible scenarios that she felt were more than real. Most of the time she can control her outbursts. Only once has she screamed, alerting her security and putting herself in an awkwardly vulnerable position. She never wanted to be in that position again, so she put herself on a very strict sleep schedule.
Today, however, after one hundred and eighty-three days, five hours, and thirty-three minutes, Lucretia got a message from Lup to meet at her house. Lucretia knew she would have to adjust her sleep schedule to make room for this meeting, but she was willing to sacrifice it to talk to family. Lup didn’t hold a grudge against Lucretia, so she felt safe going over for a cup of tea and some conversation. However, when she stepped through the rift Lup created for her, she was met with nervous energy and a Taako who looked like he didn’t want to be there.
“Hey Luce,” Lup says, a smile on her face, “We all need to talk, hm?”
Lucretia stands there, tense as the rift that brought her here closes behind her. No running away from it now, Lucretia was brought to an intervention session. Barry and Kravitz are also in the room, in the corner quietly watching. Lup walks up beside Taako and gestures to Lucretia to come further into the room.
“Taako and I have been talking, and I think Taako has something he’d like to say to you.”
Lucretia isn’t sure what to do with herself in this space. She didn’t know if she should sit or if she should look at any of them. Lup gestures for Lucretia to come and sit down beside her, but the look on Taako’s face says he means business. Lucretia ignores Lup, choosing instead to stand face to face with Taako, a calm, neutral expression despite the anxiety attack that was building quickly. Taako was staring at her with a face that gave away he was clearly annoyed. Lucretia looks down at that, pretending that the ground under her feet is more interesting to look at. She stands still with grace, hands folded in front of her; the picture of decorum despite the fact she feels she can’t breathe.
“Sup, Luce?” Taako asks to fill the quiet.
Lucretia takes a deep, shaky breath, her shoulders tensing under the weight of her guilt.
“If you must yell, Taako, then please get it over with…”
Taako frowns and everyone else in the room is taken aback by her comment. The silence stayed thick between all of them. Taako isn’t sure if he should even say anything after hearing that comment.
Lup shakes her head and steps slightly forward, a hand reaching out to touch Lucretia. “Luce, we wouldn’t–” Taako stops Lup from getting closer.
“Look,” Taako sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’m not here to yell at you, ‘kay?” He slides his hat off of his head and fidgets nervously with the brim. “I was fucked up by what you did to my memories. I still feel pretty fucked up, y’know? It’s hard remembering what happened. I told myself a long time ago that I’d never forgive you, and I thought it was gonna be that way forever.” Lucretia takes another trembling breath as the guilt crushes her more. “But I’m tired of avoiding you… Like, I don’t want to keep running from you. What you did sucks, but I– It’s just annoying at this point because parties fuckin’–” Lup elbows Taako in the ribs and it earns a grunt of complaint from the twin. Taako breathes deep once again and looks up from his hat to make eye contact. “I miss you… and I just want my friend back.”
Lucretia tries her damnedest to control her expression but breathing is becoming steadily harder due to the building tears in her eyes. It wasn’t quite forgiveness, she still felt didn’t deserve it after everything, but it was enough. Enough to finally release that heavy burden of guilt she’s been carrying.
Taako sees that the dam is about to burst and he rolls his eyes, “Fantasy Jesus Christ, just– cm’ere” and closes the gap to pull Lucretia into a hug.
((((I promise I haven't forgotten about this challenge. My depresso espresso has been pretty strong lately and I lost the motivation to write. I'm determined to finish this challenge though, it just may be a while before I get through all the prompts. Thank you to whomever stuck around for these.))))
