The Dove and the Agent | Ch.15
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Chapter CW: Mentions of anxiety/age gap, food/eating, Spoilers for 10 Things I hate about you & Dirty Dancing, Alcohol consumption, drunkenness/tipsiness, some serious pining
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"What about the lovers who spend hours staring into each other's eyes? Is it a display of trust? I will let you in close and trust you not to hurt me while I'm in this vulnerable position. And if trust is one of the foundations of love, perhaps the staring is a way to build or reinforce it. Or maybe it's simpler than that. A simple search for connection. To see. To be seen." — Nicola Yoon
I got a group hug.
Wasn't my thing and therefore it ended quickly... But I got hugged.
I couldn't quite understand it either but somehow nobody was mad at me for having been such a downer minutes before. Everyone was nice and okay with me being myself. Me, talking about my book, had even started a conversation about romance novels and movies.
My Professor was so lost it was adorable.
He knew what 'Twilight' was, saying that JJ had told him once that it was about a vampire but there his knowledge ended. He was so smart, knew so much, but pop-culture seemed to have completely flown over his head.
"Okay, Uhm, what about 'Pretty Woman', 'Dirty Dancing', or- or-...?", I giggled, having him shake his head, while he poured me another glass of wine.
"Never heard of it.", he answered dryly.
"C'mon. I mean 'Dirty Dancing' was an absolute hit when it came out in the '80s. You must've been...", I stopped talking right before I could make the mistake of guessing his age but it was too late. He already grinned at me.
"What? I must've been... what?", I quickly shook my head. "No, no. C'mon, Sweetheart. Finish your sentence.", I shook my head again. "Just guess. I won't be mad as long as you don't make me older than Derek."
"Pretty boy, I'm gonna beat your ass if you're not careful.", Derek warned from the other side of the table, and I held a hand over my shockingly amused grin.
Okay, maybe Professor Reid wasn't going to devour me whole, should I guess his age wrong. My mother maybe always lost her mind when I didn't say the correct age she wanted to hear – But he wasn't her.
"Around five?", I finally whispered, and he smiled. "When did it come out?" "'87.", I answered after checking it on my phone.
"I was born '81."
Huh, eighteen years. That was quite the age gap. I hadn't ever even thought about that... Or about the next sentence that left my mouth.
"Means you're older than my mom-... I'm quiet now.", I promptly announced after stopping myself.
Derek let out an obnoxiously loud laugh, making me stare right into his soul. To be fair, there was no chance I could look at my Professor again after having him indirectly called him old.
I had just been surprised. He didn't look forty... Or thirty-nine. I just remembered that I didn't know his birthday.
"Just say you now forbid yourself to talk.", he snickered, and I immediately caved in.
"I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to make it sound like you're old and I really didn't think about it being weird comparing your age to my mom's. I- Uhm... You're probably as old as my dad- That did not make this whole thing better right now. I- I'm so sorry. I don't know why I didn't think before speaking... twice. I usually even think too much before opening my mouth. You're really not old. I mean, there are so many girls in class, clearly not thinking of you being old and age technically is just a number as long as it is legal and consenting – and I just realized how that sounded. I swear I don't ever think about anyone being interested in you because why should I? It would be stupid. N- Not that anyone wouldn't want you, I mean, you look pretty good – Oh my god, I did not just say that – I definitely don't think you look good. No! No! I mean-"
Professor Reid grabbed my gesturing hand because I had almost hit him, and I looked him in the eyes stopping my rambling.
"Please put me out of my misery.", I begged, hoping he would shoot me before my brain could fully process all the embarrassing things I had just said. Sadly, he just started laughing.
"How are you even still breathing?", he asked, having me shrug.
To be fair, I really wished I wasn't right now.
I had called him good-looking and uno-reversed that statement. Oh, this would haunt me for a while.
"Survival instinct. Like a shark. I stop talking, I comprehend what I just said, and die of the embarrassment.", I stated, and he let go of my hands.
"Now, Dove, I wasn't mad that you pointed out that I am older than your mother. I actually already knew it, given that you told me when she had you and how old you are. I also know that there are plenty of groupies in my classes and am very thankful that you don't think I look like an old man. You maybe phrased your sentences wrong but there was nothing wrong with any of them... Except the one where you took back that I look good. That one hurt my ego a little.", I didn't dare to look at our friends and just nodded.
"I'm sorry.", I said anyways, quickly being waved off. "No need to, little bird.", shoving my glass away and grabbing the bowl of grapes to eat, I felt my cheeks stopping to burn.
"I should stop drinking. Makes me blabber nonsense.", I mumbled, Professor Reid, nudging me with his elbow. "I liked it. It was fun to see from an outsider's perspective for once."
Yeah, just that he would ramble about cool interesting things, and not about me being hot.
"So, I was six when the movie came out.", I nodded, humming approvingly. "Maybe your mom watched it."
Suddenly his bottom lip twitched a little, and he cleared his throat. I had made him uncomfortable.
"I- No. My mother read more when I was little.", he said softly, having me no longer feeling like he wanted this conversation.
So many stupid things I had said but this seemed to have hit him. Oh god, maybe his mom was dead and I just reminded him of that. This was exactly why I didn't have any friends. I never thought before speaking and hurt everyone around me with my ignorance.
"I'm sorry- I- I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.", Professor Reid quickly chuckled. "No, no. Everything's fine. I'm sorry I am such a boring conversation partner.", I almost cut him off with my fast answer. "You're not boring."
"You're sweet but I know I can get boring. My knowledge in pop-culture is limited."
"We could talk about things you like.", I offered, having his eyes light up. "You know you don't have to, right?" "But I want to.", I assured, having him blush at his next words.
"I like 'Star Trek'." "You're a Trekkie?", I exclaimed surprised, and he nodded.
"Lame, I know. Have you ever even seen it?"
Shaking my head, I tried not to giggle on accident, making it seem like I would make fun of him. He already seemed prepared for some mean jokes on his behalf.
"I'd watch it with you though... If you watch 'Dirty Dancing' with me."
My offer didn't seem too out there, right? It just were movies.
I didn't really care for Star Trek – only ever having watched Star Wars and not knowing if my thought about them probably being similar didn't offend thousands of fans – but my Professor probably also wouldn't care about Baby and Johnny falling in love.
"Sounds like a plan.", he whispered very on board, and there I say excited? So I quickly informed him about the ground rule. "But we have to watch it twice. Once so you get the story and the second time to sing along and yell at the screen."
"Sounds like a lot of work...", he sighed, making me think I had already made him shy away. Then he smirked. "Only if you also watch 'Dr. Who' with me."
Okay, if he was bargaining with me, I would too.
"With a bunch of takeout.", Professor Reid nodded, leaning closer. "Chose a country and I provide the food."
Watching a movie – or seven – started to sound way better than sitting here and just talking about it. Just as I wanted to answer again, Emily interrupted.
"You two are not bailing on us, right?", she asked, Tara joining her. "Yeah, you sound like you're more into watching a movie than getting drunk."
"Not that big of a drinker.", my Professor admitted to our friends, who seemed very aware of that. "We know, Spence.", JJ said, and Rossi, while pouring himself another whiskey, started talking over the others.
"If the birthday-girl wants, we have Netflix and popcorn. I won't be mad if you decide to watch a movie instead of drinking with us old folks.", I instantly shook my head.
"I- I- No. Thanks, but that would be rude. You guys put in such-"
"I'm gonna head home now anyway.", Derek interrupted, helping sleepy-looking Savannah out of her chair. "Wife and baby need their sleep.", Matt nodded. "And I'm gonna take JJ home to her family and then take the nightshift so Kristy gets some sleep."
"Makes seven of us who gonna stay here.", Tara concluded, and I tilted my head. "Were staying here?" "We do that a lot when there's alcohol involved.", Emily snickered. "So responsible.", she and Penelope had drunken the most. "Yeah. I packed your go-bag.", Penny chirped, half asleep, most likely contemplating if she should go to bed.
"And- And that would be okay?", I asked our friends again, just to make sure. Emily nodded, grabbing a bottle from the table and getting up. "Sure. I'll just claim this wine, steal one of Rossi's cigars and call it a night."
Rossi got up after her, starting to clean the table.
"You can come to the lounge room with me and we smoke one together.", he told her, then looking at the rest of us. "You guys are, of course, welcome too."
Like I was used to, I stood up and helped cleaning the table.
"I- I think I take the offer and watch a movie.", I quickly said before the courage would leave me.
Rossi smiled, patting my shoulder, and accidentally made me flinch as I was not used to gestures like that.
"Your choice, Principessa. Spencer, you take care of her?"
Professor Reid nodded as if it was a natural thing for him but I didn't want him to think he would need to babysit me... Or worse, feel obligated to spend time with me.
"I wouldn't mind if you'd go with the others.", I told him as he took the cheese plate from my hands.
"No chance. You promised me 'Pretty Dancing'.", he said, making me raise my eyebrows. "It's 'Pretty Woman' and 'Dirty Dancing', and you know it.", at my giggle winked at me. "Caught."
The table was cleaned within minutes. We said our goodbyes to most of the team, with Penelope bringing me my go-bag and telling me where our room was since she was going to bed, and Rossi giving us a quick instruction on where everything was should we want more snacks.
"So... Popcorn?", Professor Reid asked once we were alone, and I nodded excitedly. "Uh-huh.", I looked down at my clothes. "Uhm... I'll change in some sweats and we'll meet on the couch in ten?", he nodded, walking back into the kitchen. "Kay, Sweetheart."
Sweetheart. I really liked being called that.
I bolted into mine and Penelope's room and changed into my pajamas. Coincidentally exactly the same that I had worn when I had slept over at my Professor's apartment. Black sweat pants and my crop top with daisies on it. After contemplating for a second, I also took off my makeup and washed my face.
Coming back into the living room, I was met with a surprise.
"Who are you?", I asked loudly, Professor Reid standing there with a big bowl of popcorn and dressed in red plaid pajama pants and a grey, washed-out Caltech shirt.
"I thought we were going for casual.", he chuckled, sitting down in the middle of the large U-shaped couch, resting his feet on the, there placed, matching footrest.
"You're wearing your pajamas.", I stated, following his gestured request to sit down next to him. He had always been Dr. Fancy-Dressed since I knew him.
"You too.", touché. I giggled and just looked at the, on the coffee table sitting, chocolate, chips, water bottles, and wine. "Even got us a blanket should you get cold.", my Professor whispered over my shoulder and as his arm touched mine, for the first time without layers and layers of clothing, I swear my heart stopped beating for a second.
When it started beating again, I chose 'Dirty Dancing' and quickly felt the need to explain myself and the movie before pressing start. My anxiety really liked making small things into big ones. This suddenly was more than just watching a movie with Professor Reid.
What if he didn't like it? What if he hated it? What if he started thinking of me differently because I liked this movie?
"Okay. First things first.", I started, looking at him as my anxiety dizziness set in. "This is supposed to be a very romantic teen movie. It's written by a woman who is the original Baby – That's our main character. She had her own Johnny – the male main character – but they didn't end up together. I know, shocker.", my Professor's gentle look seemed to make things only half as bad as my anxiety made it out to be.
"So she wrote a fantasy version about this relationship she had?", he asked actually interested in what I told him. "Yeah. It's kinda like a fanfiction about herself and an ex."
"What's fanfiction?", I grinned at him.
"We don't have time to unpack all that.", I giggled, leaving him a little confused. "But anyway, it's a little corny, it's a little bit of a 'coming of age'-thing, and a lot of dancing looking more like dry humping. It's nothing to twerking and everything else my generation considers dancing... but yeah.", I lifted the remote. "Ready?"
Professor Reid nodded. "Put it on, Sweetheart."
*****
This was fun. Like, really fun.
I had been so sure that watching this movie twice would be a waste of time but Dove's way of singing along to it and yelling at the screen when she got annoyed with a character was fun.
I knew what it was all about and which scenes were coming, so I could join her badmouthing Robbie and sing with her to 'Hungry Eyes'.
That was definitely her favorite song of the entire movie. Yes, she was extremely theatrical and dramatic singing to every other song too but that one also came with hand gestures and moving her feet to the rhythm.
I loved that she had started to let her guard down, the second time watching had Dove with all the lively energy she had to offer, even daring so much as to sing in my direction without blushing.
She couldn't even react to my age hours before that without asking me to shoot her.
As the time came and 'Nobody put Baby in the Corner', she actually had gotten me to let my guard down as well. I swung from side to side with her, singing to 'Time Of My Life' and watching everybody jump around and dance.
Thankfully nobody but Dove was there to see that.
"We could totally pull that off.", I commented at one point, having her laugh as Johnny lifted Baby over his head. "You think?", I nodded promptly. "Absolutely."
When the movie ended for the second time this evening, I was finally allowed to give my two cents about it. Dove looked at me with her pretty blue eyes and a smile worth a million dollars.
"So... How did you like it?", she asked as I handed her her glass of wine. "Corny but cute. I get why it was so popular.", at my answer she clapped happily.
"Yay. And now? W-We can watch 'Star Trek'."
I shook my head, taking my whiskey glass and leaning back again.
"Put another one of your movies in." "Are you sure?", she asked uncertainly, having me chuckle. "Sure. But next time you're at my place there will be a lot of Indian food and a massive 'Star Trek' marathon waiting for you. Okay?"
She nodded excitedly about me saying that there would be another movie night for us. Little bird would probably regret it once I had her watch every single 'Star Trek' movie and the entire series.
But having her show me the movies she liked also allowed me to see a little bit of her character and just maybe I wanted her to see me too.
"Have you ever seen '10 things I hate about you'?", she asked, zapping through the movies and stopping at the one reading the same title.
"You know the answer, little bird.", I told her, and she nodded.
"Okay. I love that movie. I had a massive crush on Patrick Verona when I was younger and always wanted to be like Kat. S- She doesn't care what others think and says what's on her mind... It's also a 90's Rom-Com version of William Shakespeare's 'The Taming Of The Shrew'.", I raised an eyebrow.
"Now you have my interest." "I knew that's how I get you."
My little bird had this way of getting me interested in these movies although I couldn't care less normally. It was the joy she had explaining something, how she smiled, and lastly still was willing to rather watch something I knew I would like. Given me the option of denying her.
Of course, I could never. These moments where she was mostly unafraid and just herself were beautiful and made it easy for me to mirror this vulnerability.
"Blanket, please.", she whispered, putting our glasses on the table and pressing play. I grabbed the fluffy blanket and wrapped her in it, surprised as she leaned against me.
"Cozy?", I asked, and she hummed happily. "Super cozy."
"You know...", I started, scared I might sound too pushy or weird. "I'm not much of a TV-watching kinda man but I think I could get used to this." "I always watch the same stuff but it's nice not having to watch it alone for once.", she replied, and I took a leap of faith.
"Well, I have a TV, a couch, and lots of free time. We could be TV-Buddies."
I already thought she would reject my offer... Well, reject me like Dove would, agreeing to it hesitantly and stuttering, looking like a frightened bunny but she nodded, a slight smile on her lips that became bigger over time.
"I'd like that...", she whispered then. "And you know how to make popcorn."
From there on we watched the movie semi-quietly. Some small comments from time to time and Dove just speaking along some of the lines. I didn't mind, it was cute, but whenever I wanted to look at her during it, she instantly became quiet.
"I want you, I need you. Oh baby, Oh baby.", this time I was quicker than she was quiet. "Okay. How many times have you seen that movie?", I asked, earning a playful grin that had been worth all the attempts to look at her. "Like... a hundred times minimum?"
Chuckling, I laid an arm around her shoulder, surprised as she rested her head on mine.
From there on we were quiet again until Kat got drunk and Patrick had to get her away from the party. Just as they sat down on the swings, Dove looked at me.
"Hey, Hey, Professor.", she giggled, tapping my chest to make sure I would look at her. As I did, she and Kat spoke at the same time. "Your eyes have a little green in them."
"Just waited to drop that line, huh?", Dove looked shortly away and back at me again, playing shy. "Maybe..."
I chuckled, her face inches away from mine and me realizing that I had drunk too much because the soft pink of her plump, heart-shaped lips, for the first time ever, seemed to be calling my name.
For a second she looked at me with a thought that appeared similar to mine, especially after my tongue had darted out to wet my lips.
Thankfully there was no indulging in the moment, the sound of Kat throwing up calling us back to reality.
"Did- Did she just throw up?", I asked as if it would make the sudden change of atmosphere go away. Dove supported that idea ever so thankful. "Right on his shoes.", she answered, grabbing her bottle of water and handing me mine as I reached for it.
No more alcohol tonight.
*****
Oh, wow. That had been weird. So weird.
I clearly had drunk way too much.
For a whole second, I could've sworn that Professor Reid had purposefully brought our faces so close together and I couldn't help but stare at his lips as his tongue licked over it.
Maybe the slightly drunk version of myself was a little bit less objective when thinking about her Professor...
Bad, bad drunken Dove. We don't thirst for Professor Reid. That's weird.
Neither of us spoke about it, so clearly I had imagined the atmosphere changing.
Stupid wine, makes me wanna do stupid things. If he wouldn't have spoken about Kat throwing up, I probably would've moved even closer just to see what he would've done and the worst thing was that this intoxicated brain of mine would've been up for... a lot of things.
This was definitely not who I wanted to be. I just couldn't be like this, so I wouldn't.
For the rest of the movie we sat there quietly but agreed with Bianca punching Joey because we hated him with the fir of a thousand suns. With the movie, this night seemed to also end. Given that we both had started to yawn half an hour ago, it probably was for the best.
At his request, I let Professor Reid clean up the table and stayed on the couch waiting until he was ready to go to bed... In separate rooms of course. I just wanted to wait for him.
When everything was cleaned, he pulled me up on my feet, folding the blanket and laying it on the couch. Then we walked upstairs, me stopping in front of my room.
"Thanks for watching some movies with me.", I whispered. A little sobered up, my brain was no longer thirsty but shy again.
"Please, I really enjoyed it.", my Professor smiled back, nudging my arm. "TV-Buddy."
I opened my bedroom door, Penelope snoring loudly.
"You sure you can sleep with that?", he asked me chuckling, and I nodded.
"I just get her to lay on her side.", stepping in, I turned around again. "Well, Uhm... Goodnight, Professor." "Goodnight, Dove.", he whispered, starting to walk to his room as I closed the door behind me.
Making Penelope roll over, I laid down next to her and made myself comfortable. The room was still spinning a little bit, but that was it.
My phone lit up on the bedside table and after thinking about it for a few seconds, I looked at it. It was a message from my Professor.
"Quick heads up: Tonight was only phase 1 of your birthday celebration."
"Phase 1? Tell me your room is spinning too."
"Traditions, Sweetheart. Tomorrow they'll force us to go clubbing. And yes, spinning a lot."
"I don't go clubbing. I normally go to bed early and read a book."
"Sorry but tomorrow you're not. Me neither if that helps."
"At least something. But old men need their sleep."
"Brave, given that you also called me good-looking tonight."
"... Hearsay. No proof."
"You should sleep now, little bird."
"I wanted to sleep but YOU decided to text me."
"Okay, my fault. Now go to sleep."
"KK."
"Goodnight, Sweetheart."
I really couldn't understand how Professor Reid managed to still like me and be nice to me but I was very glad about it. With a stupid, dopey smile I replied.
"Goodnight, Spencer. Thank you for liking me."
"Nothing to thank me for, Dove. You are very easy to like."
"Shhhh! I'm already sleeping. ZZzzzzZZzzz"
"Then one last time: Goodnight."
"<3 <3 <3"
Putting my phone away, I nuzzled into my pillow. Painfully aware that drunken Dove was crushing a tiny bit on her Professor. Sober, regular Dove didn't approve of the lovesick behavior and thoughts but didn't necessarily say something against it.
And I knew why.
.
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