#teachinginmoscow

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Treading water

Steves mom Mrs.  Pod came into my classroom to show me how things were to be done, thank god.  I want to do the best job I possibly can.  Being a example to small children is very important and if she hadn't helped me start out this week I don't even know what would happen.  First of all, I was afraid to assert myself in fear of the children not liking me, she quickly showed me how important discipline was from the beginning.  I am not meaning harsh and cold discipline, but boundaries and guild lines so these little seeds do not grow bent and disfigured little shoots, I need to be the sun that guides then to be strong and healthy flowers.

These children are so unbelievably adorable and just amazing.  There are two very difficult children that need constant correction.  Alex is the youngest, he just turned 3 on Tuesday.  Last year he has a lot of one-on-one work because he was biting everyone!  The first day he came in he was screaming, hitting and crying because his mom left him, it was a huge event.  This was my worst nightmare at one point, but after this week I feel quite confidant I can be consistent and loving enough to ensure healthy relationships with all these children.  Although I am teaching them small things like colours and numbers and what not, the majority of the time I am doing day to day things with them, showing them how to be polite, how to dress themselves for outside, wash their hands and to clean up after themselves.  I feel like my heart is always open and I can be as silly and ridiculous as I like to be, because they love it.  The more I take myself too seriously or think I need to be accomplishing, the harder it is.  I am learning how to be a kid again and to see things simply.  How unfortunate it is that we take life so seriously and have such little flow in our lives when we think of ourselves the way we do, adults in this cold and hard world, to become and to accomplish yadda yadda…  bleh

So this week has been an intro into my heart I'd say.  I have been working at keeping it open more often but this is beyond that.  The most important aspect of my job now is patience, courage and discipline.  Consistency and repetition, holy god repetition.  The kids and I are learning each others boundaries and there are a couple who are very strong willed, that are extremely intelligent and want to push.

Above and beyond all of the discomfort, fear and complete exhaustion from this week..I feel so grateful.  To have the attention and love of 8-10 kids at such a beautiful age on any given day is out of this world.  Everything for a reason, and I'm certain this is preparation for the future.

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Jumping in heart first

Moscow has been my home for 2 weeks now, and I say home and not just "I have been living in Moscow for two weeks" because I actually feel like I'm home.  A day hasn't gone by that I feel alone or that I don't belong.  The family we are working for feels like extended family we just hadn't met yet and our apartment has a generous amount of windows that overlook the Leninski Prospect and a beautiful pond and birch forrest that stretches far ahead and to the left of our building.  We live on the 14th floor, we have 2 bedrooms that my sister Kelly and I have.  Johnny is the other teacher who lives with us, he has made the living-room into bedroom.  Soon Kells boyfriend Sasha will be living with us which makes 4.  At first we were all quite surprised and maybe even miffed a bit.  We are actually spoiled here though, our apartment is very up-to-date and we have a wall of windows in each room, I can lay in bed and see only sky, I can hardly hear traffic or any city noises either.  I can walk out my building and sit in the birch forrest and watch the squirrels just as if I were at home, they are red here though and move through the trees more professionally in my opinion then the ones back home.  Work is a 30mn walk each way which is really nice right now, but I will soon have to prepare for the long and cold winter!

So one of the main things we have become accustomed to here is that everything changes moment by moment.  I don't depend on anything to be certain or set in stone, the only certainty is uncertainty.  I am already accustomed to this through past jobs and what not.  For example, we lived with one of our bosses for over a week.  First it was a couple days, then each day passed and our apartment was not ready at the last minute and so on.  Kelly, Johnny and myself were itching to settle and ground ourselves to prepare for our first day of work.  The original plan was Johnny and I were co-teaching the 4 year olds together.  Kelly was to teach 5/6 year olds.  We each get one assistant.  I have never taught before so had no clue what I was really in for.  This first week was to get to know the kids, play more games, get comfortable in our classrooms.

Naturally I am quite a perfectionist and expect a lot out of myself, so when after lunch not one child would listen to me, I felt like a huge failure.  I had no idea how the hell I was going to get through this.  The amount of energy I needed, and the will that was required to have these children respect me was unthinkable.  By the end of the day I was seriously afraid to come back.  By the end of the day my boss Steve approached me told me he wanted me to take over Nursery, which means being in charge of 10 3 year olds…  Asked me to try, that I would have 2 weeks with the current teacher and assistant who were very experienced.  I was relieved!      Considering we weren't trained or show exactly what needed to be done, I felt like I had found a little island for temporary relief, I would be guided and show the ropes.

My relief was short lived when a few hours later, the teacher and assistant were gone for good after that day and I would be "Ms.  Dianna" to all these adorable little monsters and would somehow figure it out.  For a class my size, of 10, I would require at least one assistant.  They were still in the process of hiring assistants and the one I had at the time had no initiative and clearly knew nothing about children.  I was thrown into a classroom I had no familiarity with, didn't know where anything was and felt like I was alone.  On top of all this, I was very aware that these children come from extremely wealthy families where they are mostly allowed to do what they want all the time.  The mothers or nannies come to pick them up at the end of the day, and there I stood everyday this week, feeling as though I was an impostor, a fake teacher who had everything under control and knew what I was doing!