#teacupstuff

[afinebalance]

You were my courage, my sword and shield.

[afinebalance]

perspective

I was never a fan of One Direction but I respect the way people are feeling about Zayn Malik leaving the band

put it into perspective and think about your own personal band. how would you react if one of them left? 

I thought about One Republic and Coldplay losing a person and I’d go a little mad but after that I’d probably publicize my feelings & only expect respect from others to deal with my personal pain/feelings

put things into perspective.

[afinebalance]

burden

you know when a friend asks you how you’ve been and you’re so hesitant to either spill it and tell them all the shit on your plate or just say you’re fine because you’re tired of being other peoples burdens?

yeah that’s my life & I can’t help but be envious of those that find happiness in the little things in life because I can’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy 

[afinebalance]

Different cities

I hope I never find myself in a different city, during a different season, without you beside me.

[afinebalance]

priorities

I've been focusing a lot on University applications here in Canada, it's super competitive. And I realized that I'm so scared of receiving a rejection letter. It's no longer the freight of not getting into a prestigious school, or having the title of going to University.. it's not the label, it never was. It's the fear of four years of sleep deprivation to study, library missions, study groups, tutors, extracurriculars, and good marks going straight down the drain. All of what I've done and what I've become is to continue on my journey and leave high school but the fear is so suffocating

and then I get mad at myself for putting more of my efforts on school and less on my health, friendships and relationships with people

& i think that's what it has all come down to now

[afinebalance]

parties

The dining room table was full of good company and loud overlapping conversations. I watched from the staircase as my family recollected on stories already shared. I try to capture the moments as much as I can before the night ends because I know what comes next...

the ringing sound of silence in my ears that follows after a party 

the seats empty, no trace of good company that rested here 

the hollowness in my chest that feels like I've been alone for years 

up at night wondering where the time goes 

I don't like parties 

[afinebalance]

The Pearl that Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi

A gripping story from the very start. It's a book that reminded me to keep my siblings close to me because our bondage is unbreakable. It made me cry hard, smile, and it gave me an inch of hope.

Most of all, it made me so unbelievably thankful for the generation I live in today. In a generation where, as a woman, I am allowed to speak freely. I am allowed to walk on the streets without a man escorting me. I am allowed to get education. My family will never sell me off to a man three times my age. I'm not treated like a slave and I am loved with every inch of my family's heart. In a generation with decent equality and encouragement to strive for more. 

[afinebalance]

BOOKS, BOOKS, AND MORE BOOKS

check out my book list that has a bunch of novels and short stories if you're looking for something new to read :)