#teal ribbons

[yorickisdead]

Honestly, there are sometimes that I wish I had an anon blog because I have a lot of strong opinions I'd like to post about that apply to me but my friends follow me and I honestly don't want them to know some things about me.

[teal-ribbons-blog]

Geneticist apt.

I took mom to a geneticist appointment yesterday. The office was an hour away; all the way back where she had her original surgery.

The good news is that she qualified for further testing. (It was just a counseling session at first; to see if there was a reason for the actual testing.) The geneticist said that odds are that there is atleast a 15% chance that her cancer is hereditary.

So, all mom had to do for the testing was to swish mouth wash around in her mouth twice and spit it into a tube to be sent off to Utah. We will have the results in 2 weeks. The chance of getting ovarian/breast cancer (which peritoneal cancer is basically the same type of cancer) is only 2% for the general population. Having a family member with it raises your chance of getting it to 3 to 4%. Of course, if the test comes back positive for a mutation in the genese they are testing then that will raise the cance of family members getting it to be quite a bit higher. (Not sure as of right now what that percentage may be.) As of right now, this directly effects me and my niece.

After the apointment we went back home and mom pigged out. The side effects of the chemo seem to last for 4 days (and those side effects start about 2 days after chemo; not counting the drugged feeling that she can deal with pretty well the day after.)

So, last night, to try to put it into perspective, I went to the calendar and marked the days that had been good and days that had been bad. I think it helped her alot (and me) to see just how many bad days a month we will be dealing with. It's roughly 4 days every 3 weeks that she has symptoms bad enough to effect quality of life. Plus, we are working on minimalizing those through trying out different meds.

We have been getting alot of support from family, friends and neighbors. It's been wonderful. Of course, there's always the ones that you think (wether they be family, friends or what not) should be supporting you more and aren't and that sorta leaves you confused and with a little hole in your heart. But, I figure, it's not my job to figure out why they aren't. I have my hands full as is. Though it makes me quite sad.

Watching my mom fight cancer so far has been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions- and this is only after 2 treatments! But, I've learned that anyone fighting this dreaded disease is amazingly strong, inspiring and beautiful. Some of the smiles I've seen from the patients in the chemo lounge are some of the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. 

If you've read this far- thank you. :) That's all for now.

Be well.

[teal-ribbons-blog]

There's so much I want to say. But, I'm so tired right now. I just want to quit. And, for a couple hours that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna lay down and not think about one damn thing that worries me and I think that's healthy for everyone to do from time to time; patients and caregivers alike. (The "what if's" have gotten to me tonight.... the biggest being "what if" there's nothing better to look forward to than this? And I mean that this is as healthy as my mom gets and that this is as good as my life gets.)

OK, gonna go lay down....right after I check on my mom real quick. Chemo side effects hit her today. I hope it only lasts a few days this time. It's gotta get better sometime right?

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Update on my Mom

Mom had her second round of Chemo yesterday and she did wonderfully! it was really a great day with great news all around.

She is gaining weight (2 lbs since her surgery) and is now 110 lbs.

Her tumor marker (blood work) has already responded to just one chemo treatment and has already started going down!!!! The oncologist was VERY happy with this. He said it means we have the right treatment for her cancer.

She was also cleared to lift things and to move around more which means she can vaccuum and do light house work;, pick up her 10 lbs Maltese doggie and also go on short Christmas shopping outtings with me!

Also, the doctor wants her to start walking on the treadmill 4 times a week to help make the muscle around her bloodclot more healthy. It will take around 90 days to clear out the build up of lactic acid from that area and get it healthier. She will still have the bloodclot but her blood is thinned enough with the right Coumadin dose so it will be safe for her to exercise. He said to start slowly but definetely build up. he said she should be aiming for 35 minutes a day and to get her heart rate up and possibly break a sweat. It's wonderful to know that all of this (exercise) can be done while on Chemo and even with a blood clot and it's especially good to know that it is even recommended by the oncologist.

Well, that's it for this update. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully today. Don't hesitate to drop anything in my ask box if you want.

Take care. Be well.

[teal-ribbons-blog]

A good day...so far.

Well, I got my mom out of the house twice today and she like it! We went hat shopping at Kohls. her hair is just now starting to come out. I had to brush off her shirt today because there was so many hairs. She's going to wash her hair in the morning before her doctors apointment and we are expecting quite a lot to fall out then. It's traumatic for me I can't even begin to fathom how traumatic it is for her.

I told her I would shave my head in support of her and I really, really wanted to do it. But, she won't let me. She said that if I did that she'd chase me down and beat the snot out of me. LOL I still want to do it but she likes my hair and it would upset her more if I shaved it off. So, I told her I'll start wearing hats with her and she said that was a nice idea. so, when we go out together we will both have hats on and she might not feel as weird. She doesn't like hats and has never worn them so she's nervous about it.

Besides that, she ate really well today (I was so happy!) but tonight she is very tired (possibly abnormally tired) and she also looks pale. I'm worried her blood count might be off. It gets checked tomorrow so we will find out.

Well, if ya read this far you're wonderful! Thank you!

Everyone take care. :)

[teal-ribbons-blog]

It's ONLY Wednesday- LOL

Not much has happened this week. That's a good thing. My emotions are all in a ball and sorta explosive; but I still know this has been a good week so far. (Thank you to my tumblr follower for relating my weird feelings to a pressure valve. It makes perfect sense!! Helped me relax about the situation a bit)

I told my mom how I feel lately. That if I'm not actively caring for her (reviewing her daily food diary, making sure she gets the right meds, watching like a hawk for side effects before they get too bad, calling nurses, etc.) or doing heavy house work and cleaning that I feel sorta useless and almost like I shouldn't have quit my job to help care for her.

She immediately told me that the whole point of me being here was to "be here." It doesn't matter if it's during a bad time or during a calm time. Me just being home with her helps her out tremendously. So, we talked a few details and it made me feel a bit better.

We talked again about how I should also be pursuing my own goals. I've started writingmy book again and I'm in the middle of opening up an Etsy shop to try to make some side money with my crafts and such. I can also study my medical coding and billing so hopefully one day I can pass that class; but it's proving hard to study right now. I'd rather focus on some creative things.

Yesterday I cleaned house ALL DAY. I ache today because of it. LOL So, today is a bum day.

I hope everyone is doing fantastic out there. Thank you for the support your giving me and always remember it's mutual. If anyone ever needs to talk about anything drop me a line in my ask box. I reply to serious anon's as well.

Everyone take care. Be well.

[teal-ribbons-blog]

Hello new followers! ((Big Hug))

[teal-ribbons-blog]

Good News!

My mom had bloodwork today and her INR came back as 2.2 which is right where we want it! She stays on the Coumadin dose she is on right now and they will check it again in a bit.

Also, she weighed in at 109.9 lbs!!! We were very astonished and actually wondered if their scales were off today. Hard to believe she gained maybe 1/2 a pound when her food intake diminished so much. But, for now we will take it as is and celebrate!

Now...why am I feeling so crappy and depressed after this? I've no Fing clue. My mom had a wonderful check-up and I feel depressed afterwards. Maybe it's not related. It certainly doesn't have to be related to it taking into account that I'm not the most emotionally stable girl to begin with (LOL). So, that's what I'll assume...hormones or something, which is a verry viable answer.

Anyway, I am very happy that my mom's condition is so good and seems to be improving daily. She ate a wonderful breakfast and I was floored when I saw how much she ate!

So, hopefully all continues and we get on a good schedule and get some rest and relaxation.

I've noticed that when all is going well I really don't know what to do with myself. I'm so good at handling emergencies and critical health situations (which is why I'm home now helping care for her) that when I'm thrown a curve ball and everything is quiet, normal and good for a while I sorta get nervous and moody and don't know what to do.

I'm sure I'll figure it out somehow. Though uncomfortable, it's the least of my problems.

I hope everyone out there is doing well. Have patience, give yourself love and keep fighting.

Love to all.