#team backup cap

[buckykingofmemes]

can clint and sam eat turkey or is that cannibalism?

[buckykingofmemes]

Hey Bucky what do the avengers wear for pajamas? Anyone sleep buck naked?

well, at least one avenger occasionally sleeps starkers. three guesses who.

…you were wrong, it’s not tony. it’s Thor.

but actually, based on what everybody was wearing during that surprise attack last week, nah, there’s not actually many nude sleepers in the tower, or at least not anymore. probably because we get woken up by evil robots or flying monkeys on a pretty regular basis.

tony’s a t-shirt and sweatpants guy, usually with a nerdy pun. he also has a ‘secret’ collection of avengers flannel pants that he likes to pretend were a gag gift that he hates. he’s not fooling anybody–we all know he bought them himself and loves them. he had spidey pjs before they even hit the stores.

bruce has some really nice bright silk sleep pants from kolkata that he likes–they have a super wide drawstring waistband that will literally fit the hulk.

steve sleeps in boxers and one of his super-tight tees, and i don’t have any idea how that can possibly be comfortable. sam’s the same, unsurprisingly.

clint has dozens of pairs of fuzzy pj pants–he’s been griping about his hello kitty ones going missing. but for some reason he rarely actually sleeps in them. he just lounges around in pjs and then actually sleeps in shorts and ancient tees. nat tends to sleep in shorts and tank tops, but she also slinks around in silk bathrobes sometimes.

i’ve got a couple pairs of comfy black sweatpants i like, and a pair of captain america pj pants i will deny owning until my dying breath. but no, i don’t sleep naked, otherwise i’d have nowhere to stash my sleepy-time knives.

i don’t like being unarmed.

[buckykingofmemes]

not sure how i feel about using ‘bird-brained’ as an insult. lots of birds are very intelligent! on the other hand, sam and clint are idiots.

[buckykingofmemes]

Hey! So I recently got a new job and moved to a new city and don't get me wrong I'm very grateful... but ya girl's stressed, exhausted, and a little bit lonely. Do you have any advice and/or a funny story to help me through the week?

last night, sam went upstate and took his little nieces and nephews out trick-or-treating. naturally, steve and nat and  i went with him, to help establish him as “The Coolest Uncle Ever: Even Better Than Uncle Terry, Who Is A Cool Cop And Always Smells Like Vanilla.” or at least, that’s why nat and steve went. i just went to heckle sam. 

(as an aside: the dawning realization that i experienced when sam’s sister’s kids came running at him, yelling “Uncle Sam! Uncle Sam!” was incredible. Uncle Sam hangs out with Captain America. perfect. )

anyway, sam has–i think–six nieces and nephews. i think. they kept running around and it was hard to count. also, there may have been twins. i’m not sure about that–it may have been one child who kept changing costumes. it made me very grateful that i only ever had to look after steve and becca. 

the youngest of the little monsters was named seth. seth was three and a half, which he would proudly indicate with his pudgy little fingers whenever prompted. and sometimes without prompting. this was seth’s first halloween. as per sam’s family tradition, seth was decked out in a worn green dinosaur onesie, which came included with dino-face hood and very plush tail. every one of the kids wore it at some point, and after tessa’s (age 7) discovery that dinosaurs had feathers, it now includes a few dozen white feathers sewn onto the ends of the sleeves and tail. 

seth was delighted with this. he spent most of the pre-trick-or-treating time running around growling at people. 

when all the kids were ready to go, sam’s sister lined them up next to the door and dished out the rules: stay in a group, don’t leave anyone behind, don’t go into anyone’s house, etc. we adults were told that the kids were allowed to run along the sidewalks, but had to wait with an adult at the end of each block. when she’d gotten confirmations from the whole group, she opened the door and they went roaring out like a stampede of very tiny bison. we followed after. 

the group veered left right out the door. the house is in a suburb, nice and well lit and very safe, so we let them get a little distance on us. seth was at the back of the pack: his little dino-head tipped down for the charge, pudgy arms and legs pumping like a locomotive, tail like a rudder behind him. 

the rest of the kids charged up the next door neighbor’s driveway. head down, seth kept going.

the rest of the group got their candy and bolted towards the next house, easily overtaking the little dino that could. 

unsure what was happening, steve and sam and nat and I waited at the end of the block. the oldest kids got to us first and compared their loot while we waited. seth pulled up soon after, having eliminated the going-up-to-houses stage and gained ground on the middle children. when he caught sight of the other kid’s candy, he was visibly confused. 

sam got down on his level and asked what was up. 

apparently, a misunderstanding had occurred. seth believed that halloween was a race, and the winners got bags full of candy. no one had actually explained the whole getting-candy-from-strangers part to him. 

seth was devastated that he’d missed a whole block’s worth of loot, so steve scooped him up piggyback and took off at a dead run, which is pretty impressive. i once saw steve outrun a horse. he and seth went full-out. by the time the rest of the kids had gathered with the rest of us, steve had re-done the whole block. and he only jumped three cars to do it in time. 

seth’s candy bag was rapidly filled by the neighbors, who managed to stop gaping long enough to extend their candy bowls. seth himself barely noticed, as he was too busy clinging to steve’s hair and shrieking. 

tessa was very jealous, and commandeered me as a steed for the next block. the rest of the kids quickly demanded the same from nat and sam. (sam’s “i do what he does, only slower” was not a great selling point for the kids, who wanted to go faster, sam.) 

so we spend the rest of the evening doing piggy-back halloween speedruns.

seth got a lot of candy.

You can find the corrected version of this post here on Ao3. -Mod Hell

[buckykingofmemes]

Does Tony let you have any pets in the tower or does he threaten to take all of you knives and guns away if you bring it up?

(You can find this ask and the two previous here on AO3 with correct punctuation, if you’d prefer it in that format. -Mod Hell)

when i moved in, he had a hard ‘no pets’ policy, and then a month later, he  brought the bots over from california, and all of us smelled weakness. tony’s got a soft spot the size of the hulkbuster.

 nat was the first--her girl liho, a little black sootstain from hell, turned up in the kitchen one day, and none of knew where she’d come from. she’s just as quiet and sneaky as nat is, with a creaky little meow and claws like a tiger. we have no idea how long nat had her before the rest of us found out. it may have been years. and tony’s a genius, so he made complaining noises but did not actually threaten the black widow’s cat. 

clint knows a good shot when he sees one, so as soon as tony had gotten over the cat thing, lucky turned up. and lucky loves everyone, grouchy billionaires included, and if that wasn’t enough, he met nick fury and they instantly bonded over one-eyed badass things, so now tony can’t kick lucky out because 1. nick fury would kill him and 2. tony secretly loves lucky back.

recently, tony also acquired a cat. his name is mr. stank. don’t listen to tony on this one. 

sam has an undetermined quantity of pigeons. sometimes they come inside, which is basically like having a hurricane of feathers come blasting through the common room. tony hates it--he always winds up with down in his beard, but somehow a state-of-the-art pigeon coop wound up on the roof anyways. it’s self cleaning. sam literally took a bullet for tony a week later as thanks. (it was in his arm, he’s fine)

backup showed up one day, and through a really complicated series of events in which 1. he was tangled up in a captain america tee shirt 2. steve vanished for a high-stealth mission without warning, and was incommunicado 3. backup is really really good at frisbee, we mistakenly assumed steve had somehow gotten turned into a dog. 

i know it sounds ridiculous, but this is how we live. it could happen. 

backup is a smart dog. like, suspiciously smart--im still not convinced he’s not a shapeshifter who got stuck. but we only realized he wasn’t steve when steve himself showed up in the tower, back from the op. and even then, we had to show tony both steve and the dog together to convince him that backup was just a regular dog, and by then we had no choice but to keep him. 

(i have some really great footage of tony getting into an argument with backup-as-cap. it’s incredibly one-sided, and somehow tony still lost.)

[buckykingofmemes]

im not doing pushups for muscle definition, im doing pushups to show sam i can do more than him

[buckykingofmemes]

Bucky, if you don't mind my asking, what in the world was Tony arguing with Backup about?

whether or not it was a good idea to put a rocket booster on sam’s jetpack. tony said yes, backup said no.

(technically, backup said nothing, on account of he’s a dog and can’t talk, but that didnt stop tony from assuming that silence meant ‘cap’ was disagreeing with him.) 

for the record, sam and i were both in favor. sam thought it’d be fun, and i thought it’d be funny to watch sam burn the back of his pants off, which is 1000% what would have happened. but neither of us joined the argument, because watching tony argue with a dog was just too entertaining. 

tony claims that backup has very expressive eyes. it’s true, but i don’t know what the hell kinda puppy dog eyes gave tony enough material to argue with for a half-hour straight. (I’m editing this into the existing AO3 chapter)

[buckykingofmemes]

im not sure what the heck just happened but i know it was sam's fault