This person who I will not mention, has changed my life big time. We both screwed up badly in the past. It wasn't just me, and it wasn't just this person, it was the both of us. But after I apologized for something I ridiculously did, we started talking again, but things just don't feel right anymore. I'm not as comfortable around this person as I used to be. We don't talk like we used to. We aren't there for each other like we were before. The trust isn't there either. But I hope if this person is currently reading, that she/he knows that I miss our friendship greatly. I really do. What happened to being "best friends" I don't even know the meaning of that word anymore. Remember that day when I mentioned "Shake it Up" that's because the stars of the show remind me of how we used to be. I never got to finish my sentence, though. They do everything together, they are like sisters. That's how we were. & There was this one episode where one of the girls started backing away from her best friend, because people thought they weren't individuals, because they would do everything together. So she completely started ditching on her friend.(that would be the time, when I completely humiliated you in front of everyone, and that time period where I would constantly ignore you. :\ ) At the end of the episode, she realizes that it's okay to be together all the time, because they were still individuals, but they were individuals, together. It might sound real corny, but I really miss having you there for me, which is why I apologized in the first place. You know how hard it is for me to even spill out "sorry." I know after everything that has happened, it is hard to forgot all of it, and to forgive. Believe me, I recall every second of that event, and I will never forgive myself for it, because that person who was out there calling you a bunch of names, yeh, that wasn't me, it looked like me, it talked like me, but it wasn't me, because it's not the person who my mom raised me to be like. But now everything is just so complicated, even though we still do have classes together, it still doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm just talking to one of my friends, not someone who was once like a sister. Now, you got your roleplaying friends, and I got my followers on my other account. Most of my friends got mad at me for apologizing to you, which I think is wrong, but I still see where they are coming from. I knew that a lot of people would turn their backs on me, but our friendship was worth the risk. Karma is a bitch, and it bit me back in the ass 100x harder.
