#tee_egoh

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

The love of my life found happiness somewhere else, and it looks so good on her. It's something I couldn't fully give to her during our time together, I had my faults and so did she, I take accountability for my failures since they too played a part in why she is with someone else and not me. There are things I could've done better, but as a person I didn't know better at the time, and the choices I made came with consequences I didn't expect. The one I'm most grateful for is that she ended up in a good place, she ended up with someone that helps her grow and brings her happiness. I assume I also brought those things into her life as well during our time together, but obviously he does it all better. Over the years she got to learn about herself and about life and with that knowledge was able to grow into an even better person, she learnt from the faults she had therefore eliminating some of the struggles we had. It's beautiful that she is in such a wonderful space and I hope that it gets even better, and that her dreams come true because she truly deserves it.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

Let's not forget that I'm still very much in love with you and therefore I miss you every single day of my life.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

I Shouldn't But I Am

It's been more than a year since you left me, I should be over it by now right?

I shouldn't still be yearning for you.

I shouldn't still be thinking about you.

I shouldn't still be wondering how your day went.

I shouldn't still be wishing to hold your hand again.

I shouldn't still be wishing I could wake up next to you once more and make you breakfast.

I shouldn't still be wondering what you think about something.

I shouldn't still be wanting your opinion, and wanting to know how you feel about something.

I shouldn't still be dreaming of you in my sleep.

I shouldn't still be hearing you laugh when I drift off in thought.

I shouldn't still want to give you the world and do absolutely anything for you.

I shouldn't be so stuck on you, but unfortunately I am.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

You are the only person to ever truly see me, you noticed everything about me from the obvious to the minute. I started feeling less invincible when I was around you because you made me feel less like a ghost and more like I was alive. There were times where I would purposefully test you to see how much you notice things and every single time you would spot the little things no matter what, I was able to convey secret messages to you because I knew that only you would notice and know how to decipher it. Life is strange because it gives you an opportunity to experience something beautiful and then takes it away from you, I'm glad that my happiest moments in life were with you.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

Life Without You

Without you I am like a train without the tracks, I'm basically stuck in the same place you left me at. The underlying factor is that I need to move on, but where do I go?

I was meant to reach my destination with you, none of it works without you because everything we envisioned was for us two. And now I've lost my path, I'm still trying to figure things out, the vacant space you left behind cannot be filled.

The hardest thing about trying to move on is that I not only have to forget about the past but also I need to forego a future that we were building. Nothing lasts forever, I've heard that saying multiple times over the course of life, but no matter how many times I hear that I can never prepare for the end. I always try my outmost best to prolong it, try to save every little piece that's left in hopes to go back to the glory days.

I tried everything to keep you, and there were moments where we were almost us again. But I guess ultimately you wanted to be you without me, you wanted to erase everything that was.

While I thought of all the good things that made you and me us, you were thinking about all the bad things that happened between us and that was your exit strategy. I can't fault you for wanting to leave and start something new, a clean slate of sorts, but I guess I'm just so in love with you that I just want to express my feelings somewhere, since I can no longer express them to you.

You have someone new in your life now, and he is the one who gets to live a future with you, I hope he knows how much of a lucky man he is. But then again he probably does know because he spends time with you. All I can say now is thank you for the memories that I so cherish, appreciate all the time we spent together.

My chapter with you is my most precious moments in life, there has been bad decisions made during the course of our existence and I truly am sorry for all of it, sometimes what we think is the right thing to do is actually just misinformed decisions.

I could say maybe in another life we will get our future, but I know that is just wishful thinking, I love you for eternity and I'm glad I got the chance to experience a person like you in this lifetime.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

"Quickest way to kill someone is to fill them up with all the love they never thought they could ever get to experience and then leave them, craziest part about this death is that you're still alive after you die"

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

Cause all I’ve ever wanted is you and you alone. And I love you so more than you could ever know all I’ve ever wanted is you.

[oceansoulsoftheabyss]

How do two souls tied together lose their thread? It happens slowly and then all at once. All the little things that happen put strain on the thread and it slowly starts to deteriorate and the more bad things happen to that thread the weaker it becomes until eventually it snaps and marks the end, the loss of your soulmate. All that ever was is now just memories of a past best forgotten and packed away in a lockable case and everything you thought was meant to be in the future dies before it even gets a chance to live. Both of you having ruined what was once special but only one of you mourns the loss.