Is it easy to move on?
Hello people,
Today I had a horrible dream which is related to my past and I was so shaken, shocked and obviously scared. I thought that I had moved on from that phase of my life but I guess I was wrong.
Yesterday my mom was all worried about my grandad because he has been going through some sort of disease.(and I don’t have any idea of it) so now that he is recovering he is starting with some mental stress(or some kind of mental problem). So I have been going through this occasionally. I have been having these crazy dreams in which I feel like this is all because of me and it so scary some times. They are kind of nightmares. The horrible one’s….. I always thought that they were just normal nightmares but one day I somehow blanked out in one of my dreams and when I woke up because of the panic attack I remembered every single bit that had happened in front of me.
I know all this I am writing feels like a story or some scene from a horror film but I have experienced something scary which gives me panic attacks.
OK so the thing was…. I was around 6years old and I was in the park with my friend we were both playing some game with our ball we had and then there was an old man sitting on the near by bench. He always use to give us some candies and we used to take it happily (despite our parents telling us not to take anything from strangers) but he wasn’t a bad person the only thing was he did not have a family. So every evening he use to come to the park and play with my friend and I. That evening he just sat there staring at us but when we went to him we saw he was crying my friend and I were confused and ran to my friends house to call her parents but instead her parents stared scolding us. After having a nice scolding from her parents we again went to the park to deal with the problem on our own.
When we got there we saw that he has already started walking away from the park we ran behind him for at least what felt like a mile at that time. Then suddenly a car stops by. A man climbs out of the car and started arguing with the old man and the next thing we knew was that the old was pushed in the car forcefully. The old man was again crying and banging the window but we were too small to understand anything and the people around just ignored it.
Is it easy to just forget and move on?
After that I had my first dream when I was 8 or so. The dream had everything same as the real incident but there was some terrible ending. Every time I had this dream a different ending(not really ending cause I used to panic and get up or my parents used to wake me thinking that I just saw a bad dream). I know this does not feels like some thing really bad but believe me it is or at least for me. Yesterday I woke up on my own not able to breath but thankfully my mom wasn’t anywhere near to my room.
I haven’t told anyone about this, not even my closest friends and this haunts me I have cried so much because of it. I can’t see anything bad happening to someone I am close to and that’s what happens in every single dream I have about that old man. He was a stranger at first but when he started coming regularly he became something. He treated us like his granddaughters. He used to tell us stories buy us candies and brought us something new everyday.
I just wanted to share this cause if anyone else had gone through will know what it feels like and if you can tell me what can I do to control it or at least reduce it……it would mean so much to me.
Love ya
GirlSnowFlakexxxxxxxxxx
