#tellmeanything

[caringforourselves]

hi hope youre doing well. I am in an emergency situation where i need help escaping from my abuser. some days i am scared for my life. I need help at the least having my post get shared which is pinned to my account so i can recieve funds to dip off IMMEDIATELY. thank you very much. have a good rest of your day/night wherever you may be.

for anyone who is reading or have read this, let’s help to spread awareness and help a person in this kind of situation. I really hope you’re okay. 🥺 pls take care!

[caringforourselves]

How are you? :)

well, I haven’t been great recently but I surely am trying to get better! Currently in a constant battle with the thoughts in my head and I’m trying to snap out of it! That’s why I haven’t been really active with posts lately but my asks are still open to anyone who wants/needs to talk 🤍

[caringforourselves]

how r u doing today

Hi anon! thank you for checking up on me 🥺

honestly I haven’t been great. thus why you rarely see any posts recently but I’m trying my best to get back to my normal self. I hope you’re doing well tho 🥺🤍

[caringforourselves]

s.h! & mentions of d**th warning !

I haven’t been suicidal since middle school (I’m 20 years old now), but recently the thoughts have picked up again. I used to have a terrible fear of death, which is kinda all that kept me alive but now I’m no longer afraid since I’ve been on a spiritual journey and that’s one of the fears I moved on from.

Sadly, that means I have very little to convince my depressed brain not to think that way. I’m a lot more emotionally and self aware these days, so it’s less of having my actual self think these things and more like a horrible goblin living in my brain who won’t leave me alone and keeps threatening to end it all, not caring if it’ll take all of me with it if that makes any sense? Like a virus or a parasite I can’t get rid of ;w; I’m trying my best to ignore the voice and essentially baby proofing my room/self to prevent it from impulsively hurting me (I used to self harm in middle school since I had long nails and I’d scratch my arms & legs since I was afraid of actually cutting myself. Now the thoughts are worse, and since I don’t fear death anymore, I actively have to keep snatching my own hands away whenever I realize I’m reaching for something sharp).

there’s no real point to this I guess, I feel really alone and don’t have anyone to talk to since my parents don’t believe in mental illnesses and they’d make it worse tbh, and the friends I do have have a tendency to reply “ :) you’ll be fine!” To everything I say so it makes me feel unheard. I just needed to vent and I happened to find your page so I’m sorry for the inconvenience but thank you for having this tumblr, it’s kinda the only thing keeping me sane rn :’)

TL;DR : I used to be su*cidal in middle school & the urges to s*lf h*rm and unalive myself recently came back worse than before because I no longer fear death. I don’t have anyone in my life who actually makes me feel heard and supported when it comes to these thoughts, so I just really needed to vent. Thank you for existing and I hope you have a wonderful day ♡

tw: self-harm/death

Hi anon! I’m sorry I took a few days to think about what to reply to this and I’m actually so worried about you. I can’t imagine you the amount of struggle you must be going through right now but I’m glad you’re still able to control yourself by avoiding sharp items/objects.

Thank you for reaching out and I wished there was more that I could do for you other than just to listen to your vents. Are you able to get any sort of therapy help in school/college or online?

Please remember that I’m super glad you’re still alive and I’m glad you’re still here even when you’re no longer afraid to die. I’m glad you exist and thank you for reaching out 🤍 have a lovely day! I will be praying for you

[caringforourselves]

hi!! i signed up for a mentor program for youth with disabilities (15-30 years old). basically you get a mentor from a company to bridge the gap between you and the business world, and in the meantime you work on goals together and stuff. i was the youngest there, i’m 18 and all my peers were near 30. i also met up with a young girl with my disability through my therapist bc she’s going to the school i just graduated from and she had some questions. i’m proud of the steps i took, but i still feel upset.

everyone’s disabilities were mental, or like recovering from some things like cancer or another illness, but mine is super physical and apparent, especially in my walking and speech. i spent the entire time waiting for someone to say something who maybe had a speech impediment like i do, but they all spoke perfectly. and then when it was my turn i was so nervous about being the only one, that talking became even worse and i had trouble pronouncing my words and could feel my mouth tremble and pull. it made me feel so embarrassed and alone. my mentor is a pretty young guy and we seem to have lots in common, but i still feel uncomfortable about having to meet him irl. maybe that’s just my fear of men though. that’s on me.

on top of that, the girl i met up with along with my therapist had my disability but way less severe, and merely in her right leg instead of her entire body like me. she was also just super social and funny, and she’s 6 years younger than i am. i was able to answer her questions but you still tend to get weird looks from people when you speak and move like i do and this was no different. i guess i expected to meet someone like who i used to be when i was her age, or at least someone who didn’t appear able bodied or normal (i mean.. she grabbed a cup with one hand and made hand gestures and i sat there attempting to quit trembling and sound normal). maybe that’s wrong, to self project.

anyway, i just wanted to tell someone and knew your asks were open. thank you for bearing with me, i hope you’re doing well!

hey anon! I’m so sorry I took ages to reply to your ask :( I’m very thankful that you’re sharing this piece of information with me about your disability! I’m sorry to hear you feel upset about this but please remember that no matter how much you’re unable to express yourself through words, I’m proud of you for expressing yourself through a platform even though I don’t know you in person at all! You’re able to articulate yourself well and I’m really glad you told me how you felt about it. thank you for sharing this with me & I hope you’re doing well too 🤍

My apologies again for taking so long to reply to this! I was trying to be in the right headspace before I answer any serious asks!

[caringforourselves]

Hi sweetheart, thank you for what you're doing! I'm almost 25 and I feel so old and anxious... I feel like my life is over before it even started, u know? At university I'm studying subjects that I don't like much, but I don't know what I could do otherwise... I think that this wouldn't be a big deal if my friendships and relationships' life were full. Sometimes I just would like to know how it feels to be loved and touched and return the favor. I'm a hopeless romantic and I feel pathetic

Hi anon! Please don’t feel that way about yourself 🥺

I’m 24 this year and when I was in uni, it was the darkest days of my life. It’s when my depression hit me the hardest because I had drifted apart from my best friend and my previous 4 year relationship didn’t really work out when I went overseas to study. I totally understand how you feel because I was in that exact position in uni. But I managed to get some help with counselling in uni (even if it was a short while) and then I seek for therapy online because that was the most important thing for me at the time when I had no one. I’m here for you so that you don’t have to feel so alone like I did because I know what I went through and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Sending you lots of love 🤍

[caringforourselves]

is it possible to be groomed even as an adult?

yes! I think it is still very possible :)

[caringforourselves]

Hi, I just wanted to share this because I have no one in my life to share it with.

I just had the massive realization that by the end of this month, I will have graduated high school. It's been a thing I've been waiting for for so long. And it just hit me that it's going to happen soon.

I live in an abusive household and I've been counting down the days ever since it was 5 years.

4 more years and you can get out.

3 more years, you can do it.

2 more years, just endure it a little longer.

1 more year, just 1 more year.

Now it's just 3 months. I'll get out August 15th when I move into my dorm for college. I'm so excited and the fact that my graduation is going to happen soon and then college orientation... ah i'm just so happy.

I'm happy for all the things that are to come with this freedom. I'll be able to make friends, get a job, control my schedule. It's the little things I'm so thrilled about.

Anyways, thanks for reading this and I hope you have an amazing day.

i’m really happy for you!! and i’m super excited for your upcoming journey! you’ll have lots of fun and freedom when you’re living away from parents. you’re going to have so much fun but challenges may arise too! just be mindful of what you do!

thank you for sharing this with me! have a great day! 🤍