Dec 5, 2016
Currently
Currently thinking about how I enjoyed I enjoyed sex with the wrong person smh I can't wait til God blesses me with a husband/best friend
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
Currently
Currently thinking about how I enjoyed I enjoyed sex with the wrong person smh I can't wait til God blesses me with a husband/best friend
I'm a outsider from the rest of the world. And when I say outsider I mean by my physical appearance as well as my personality. I'm TALL, Brown skin, & no curves. Personality wise I'm loud, straight forward, smart, & goofy. I know my physical appearance is something I can't change but I know in order to blend in I'd have to change my personality. I honestly don't want to do that 🤔 I don't wana live my life tryna be what I'm not. Then again I guess that'll be me accepting being alone.
Chapter 22
I turned 22 July 29th and it's been pretty tough so far. I'm slick tired of crying to myself late at night because of my circumstance. Everyone who I think is truly here for me are nothing but frauds yo. The amount of betrayal I've dealt with in the past few months HURTS sooo bad. From my 2 faced family, to my boyfriend cheating on me, to me falling out with a chick I thought was my best friend, to my current friend running my business to her boyfriend.... I really just CANNOT DEAL! On top of that I have bills to pay, then school work and graduation right around the corner. I'm trying my best not to say "why me, God?" But life is just kicking me repeatedly in the chest and I can't I can't I can't! I try my best to move on, stay positive, & laugh things off... But I can't anymore I really need God during this time of my life to just COMFORT me and help me HEAL.
I feel like the only thing I'm good at is school and work.
The rest of my life is just messy and confusing 😖 it all makes me wana cry
Vulnerable
Idk but vulnerability is something I really struggle with as woman. I'm just so scared to open up and let go bc of the repercussions of being played 🙄 ...to be continued
Dear God
I know you know everything but there's just been a lot in my life I've been unhappy about. 1. My relationship with my parents- I personally feel they love me only for my perfect child persona. Bc I did everything they wanted me to do. They care only for themselves and how I make them look as a good parent. 2. Perfectionism- Bc of the way I was raised I'm just never satisfied with myself bc I don't feel I'm good enough at all. I criticize myself so hard. And the crazy thing about it is that the ppl closer to me see a bigger and better future for myself than I do... I know I'm suppose to leave everything in your hands but I get sooo scared of how my future will end up. && writing that made me realize how stupid I sound bc I know better that you love me and will never forsake me. But I get so caught up in everyone else's life and comparing myself it just brings me down 😔 3. I started to write finding a man but then realized it's not my job as a woman to find one. But I always think to myself "is it even possible for me to be with someone since I don't fit in with today's beauty standards" or "Am I gonna be alone forever bc I'm not doing like everyone else and settling for these bums?" 4. Money- I'm entering adulthood frfr and I feel as the months go by all of my money is going towards bills. I can't be 21 & free bc I have all this responsibility on my plate. 5. Life after Graduation- A good job, Law School, & STUDENT LOANSSSS 💀💀💀💀 Just fix me Jesus... Help me and guide me through all theses issues and help me to let go of my worries In Jesus Name, AMEN!
Most of the closest people to me are all in great relationships and it honestly makes me feel bad about myself. Idc what anyone says I really think it just might be something wrong with me 😩. Cuz I'm going on 22 in July and still no relationship. But I guess if that's what God wants then I have to let it be .... To be continued
Roots
The past two days I’ve been watching the Roots Series and it’s really good. I am too tired of films on slavery but at the end of the day it’s still apart of our history. While watching it I cried, laughed, and was inspired by it all.