#tenzo especially

[dimigexwrites]

New Normal (Healing Hands, Chapter 15)

A03, FF, Ko-fi

New chapter is up! This one is a bit fluffier than the some of the others. Tenzo is adorable and he owns my whole hear. Full story available at the above links, as well as ways to support me if you're interested! Chapter is also below the cut

After completing Ino's evaluation, Tenzo stumbled into blinding sunlight and gulped down a lungful of air. Despite the reassuring warmth of the woman's office, a chill permeated his body, like ice had replaced the blood in his veins. Tenzo's hands shook despite every effort to still them, and his chest felt uncomfortably tight. Sliding his tongue over too dry lips, Tenzo counted to ten, breathing in and out with each number. He squashed the idea that a drink of whiskey would halt the bile rising in his stomach.

"Are you okay?" Tenzo startled and spun on the balls of his feet, reaching for the weapons pouch that he wasn't wearing. Sakura danced backward two steps, out of striking range in case he resorted to hand to hand. "Sorry, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. I just thought you might need a friendly face after that. Want to get lunch?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, Tenzo forced a smile that he didn't feel and nodded. The memory of needing a drink sat heavy on his tongue, but the distraction of food might ease the longing. Sakura prattled off questions and observations, which Tenzo mostly ignored, as they walked. He shrugged when she asked what he wanted to eat, and left the decision up to her. His mind felt like it had been rung out by too many questions.

Sakura and Tenzo ended up at Ichiraku, which had grown larger than the single ramen counter of old. The restaurant sported more than a dozen tables now, tucked away from the street's view on the side of the building. They selected a table in the corner even though only one other booth was occupied. Tenzo tried to dispel the nervousness boiling inside of him with a slow exhale. "This isn't the place I imagined you'd pick," he ventured.

Tucking a strand of hair behind one ear, Sakura shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to be seen in public, and it's pretty quiet in here between the lunch and dinner rush."

Taking a drink of water, Tenzo considered Sakura's implication. He had eaten dinner with her, Naruto, Kakashi, and Sai on numerous occasions over the years. There had been plenty of meals with just Kakashi or Naruto, but never Sakura. Tenzo wondered if anyone would think there was something strange about the pair of them being alone together. He shook his head to clear away that foolishness. They were former teammates after all. "It's fine, good even."

Tenzo stared around the once familiar room, enjoying the quiet atmosphere while his thoughts drifted. He felt exhausted and spent, but also relieved that the first step to getting reinstated was complete. Hope stirred in his chest, suggesting that there might be an end to all this posturing and talking. Eventually, he would get back to taking missions and leading Anbu. Eventually, this would end.

Before long, two steaming bowls of ramen appeared on the table. Sakura broke her chopsticks open with a quick prayer of thanks, then leveled Tenzo with a cool, green stare. "So, how did it go?"

Separating his chopsticks with exaggerated slowness, Tenzo prodded at the noodles until they raised a fragrant cloud of steam between them. Sakura didn't press, but he knew that she was waiting for an answer. Tenzo raised his shoulders in a shrug. "It went fine."

"Fine," Sakura repeated, eyes narrowing as she sipped broth from her ceramic spoon. "What does fine mean?"

"It means she didn't put me in solitary confinement under a doctor's care," Tenzo groused, wondering if that had been a possibility. He reached for his glass and took another long drink. The liquid left him missing the sharp burn of alcohol on his tongue. Tenzo shrugged a second time. "I don't know how these things are supposed to go. I never had to do one until now."

Sakura winced at the words. "What did she ask you about? What did you say? What was her recommendation?"

"She asked me the same questions that you did: am I sleeping enough, do I have nightmares, am I having trouble with my memory, the usual stuff." Tenzo left out the fact that he hadn't been truthful with his answers. What Sakura didn't know couldn't hurt him.

Sakura waited for Tenzo to continue, but he bought himself a moment to think by taking a bite of his food. Ino hadn't asked about the pinkette's presence until the end of the meeting, and then she'd only asked whether or not the results could be shared with Sakura. It seemed innocuous, a pointless question considering Sakura had referred him to Ino in the first place, so he'd agreed.

Despite wanting help, Tenzo held back as much as he dared with his answers during the session with Ino. He suggested that he slept well enough, but left out that it was only because of Sakura's presence the past few days. No, Tenzo hadn't had a nightmare in a while, at least not one that he remembered. He'd faked his way through the questions about substance use by admitting to having a drink sometimes. Honestly, he'd been more open with Ino than he had with Sakura at the first exam; that had to count for something.

"Ino said she'd get the final recommendation to you by tomorrow afternoon." Tenzo took another bite of ramen, letting the warm flavors ease the nausea in the pit of his stomach. His hands weren't shaking as badly as they had been, and the beginnings of relief wrapped around him like a blanket.

For a minute, Sakura didn't speak as she swirled the noodles in her bowl. Tenzo watched her, wondering what she was thinking. After a couple of seconds, she nodded. "Well, that's good. Maybe you'll start feeling better soon."

Tenzo chuckled in the back of his throat, not pointing out that he'd never felt normal in his life. His background wasn't something that he wanted to discuss, now or ever. Changing the subject, Tenzo dipped his head. "Speaking of normal, when do you plan to go back to work? You can't babysit me forever."

Sakura chewed her lower lip before answering, sending a spike of fear through Tenzo. "I was thinking I'd go back tomorrow morning."

Relief and worry washed through Tenzo in equal measure. With Sakura at work, he wouldn't have to worry about what she might see. She wouldn't be there to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. But, he'd be alone again, truly alone for the first time in weeks. He hadn't done well by himself the previous night. How much more difficult would an entire day be? Tenzo thought about his desire to have a drink after leaving T&I. He wondered what he might have done if Sakura hadn't been waiting on him; he didn't like the answer.

Tenzo pushed the thoughts away. He needed to learn how to be responsible for himself again. "That sounds good. I'm sure they've missed your help."

"Yeah, it'll probably be a mess when I get back." Sakura took a final bite of her food, emptying the bowl. Tenzo's remained mostly untouched, but she didn't comment on it. "I need to do a few things this afternoon, but I can stop by later and see how you're doing?"

The question left Tenzo off balance, but a wave of gratitude flooded through him. He had expected Sakura to go back to her life without a second glance. The idea that she would continue to support him after he started talking to Ino surprised him; it shouldn't have. Tenzo nodded. "If you want to."

"I do," Sakura offered with a grin, pushing her bowl away. "Do you think you'll be okay until then?"

Tenzo nodded, wondering if Sakura felt as unsteadied by the day's events as he did. Somehow, he doubted it.

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After leaving Tenzo, Sakura spent the next couple of hours running errands and catching up on tasks that needed her attention. As much as she wanted to go to the hospital and start organizing the chaos there, she decided to leave it off until the following day. She hadn't figured out what, if anything, she was going to tell Kazuko about her absence. The man didn't need to know about Tenzo's detox, and he already knew that it was tied up in her duty as shinobi medic, that should be enough for him.

The most important thing that Sakura wanted to accomplish during her free time was to organize her notes on Tenzo's detox. She'd written tons of details over the past couple of weeks, most of them in a battered notebook that she carried in her bag. She spent hours transferring and simplifying her observations, as well as drawing conclusions about them. Eventually, Sakura would need to move everything to Tenzo's medical file, but she wanted to wait until she knew what to record.

After that, Sakura would need to talk to Kakashi about Tenzo's suitability for Anbu. She wanted to let the man detox and get help through T&I first. It took all of Sakura's self control to leave the remainder of Tenzo's recovery in someone else's hands, but she recognized the need to do so. Ino could help in ways that Sakura couldn't. Despite that, she planned to check on the man over the next few days to make sure that he was adjusting to the changes.

Content that she'd recorded everything that she needed to, Sakura made a quick dinner and washed up. Then, she looked around the apartment. After a quick tidy up, she grabbed her jacket and went to check on Tenzo. He'd been alone for several hours, plenty of time to mess up for a second time if he was going to. The idea made Sakura anxious, but she pushed it away. Tenzo would make a good decision, she had to believe that. If he didn't, they'd start over, again.

The chill in the air had grown more pronounced as winter drew closer. Sakura zipped her jacket against the cold and jogged toward Tenzo's apartment. When he didn't answer the first knock, her stomach plummeted to her feet. Had he already thrown everything away?

Just as Sakura was considering whether or not to pick the lock, the door cracked open. Tenzo's dark eyes were shadowed and his face was drawn, but he dipped his chin in greeting. "Sakura."

"Hey," Sakura began, moving into the apartment when Tenzo pushed the door wider. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," Tenzo answered, running a hand through his hair. Sakura had grown used to the way it stuck up in all directions without the head protector to hold it back.

Sakura was surprised to see that Tenzo had changed from jeans to sweatpants after his appointment. Even more surprising was how familiar the comfortable look had become after their time together. Whenever Sakura thought about Tenzo, she pictured him in sweats instead of his uniform. Sakura shook her head to clear away the thoughts and asked, "have you eaten anything?"

"I had a protein bar, does that count?" Tenzo walked over to the couch and threw himself onto it. "I wasn't hungry enough to eat a big meal, and I didn't feel like cooking."

Nodding, Sakura took a seat beside Tenzo. He didn't meet her eyes, tugging at the string of his hoodie and readjusting the way it fit his chest. "It counts," she agreed. "Have you had anything else?"

"If you mean did I go on a bender in the past four hours, then no." Huffing out a breath, Tenzo pushed to his feet. He paced a few steps toward the wall, then turned and walked back.

Sakura chewed her lip as she watched him. "You're on edge, though. Did you take something?"

"Like one of the soldier pills you confiscated?" Tenzo's lips pulled into an aborted snarl as he sighed. "No, I haven't had anything. Just the protein bar."

"Harder than you thought it would be?" Sakura asked, keeping her voice gentle. "I looked into managing the symptoms after medication. The article suggested that patients try meditation, exercise, or finding a new hobby to focus on. You need a good habit to replace the bad."

Tenzo scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Respectfully, that sounds like a load of bullshit."

Exhaling, Sakura counted to ten under her breath. "Probably, but why don't we go for a walk to see if it helps?"

The incredulous look that Tenzo flashed Sakura made her laugh. He scoffed. "Is that supposed to count as exercise, for an Anbu?"

"It's supposed to count for getting some fresh air." Sakura ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it into a ponytail. "Which is good for everything. Now, come on."

After a bit of grumbling and complaining, Sakura got Tenzo out the door. Darkness hadn't fallen yet, but it was already chillier than when she'd arrived. Shivering, Sakura turned to the right and set off at a quick clip. Tenzo followed her after a moment of indecision, catching up with his longer strides. The pair walked in silence, leaving the main village behind while moving toward the training fields.

After Sakura and Tenzo passed the first three training grounds, he huffed out a breath. "Are we going to walk all night?"

Sakura sighed at the man's testiness. She'd been ignoring it all evening, but there was only so much that she could stand. "Only until you stop being grouchy," she shot back, glaring. Swiveling with annoyance, Sakura threw a half hearted punch at Tenzo's shoulder.

The man danced backward, eyes widening in surprise. She swung again, and he sidestepped to the right, brow furrowing. "So what? You're going to beat it out of me now?"

Sakura dipped her head and slid into a fighting stance. "If that's what it takes."

Tenzo snorted and shook his head as he ducked beneath another strike. Sakura attempted to sweep his feet out from under him. Tenzo laughed and brought his hands up. "Fine, but don't blame me when you're too sore to move tomorrow."

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By the time Tenzo and Sakura finished sparring, his breath came in urgent gasps that left him dizzy. The bruise purple sky had grown black with only the moon and stars to provide a scatter of light when the clouds didn't block it out. Sakura looked as exhausted as Tenzo felt with sweat that ran down her cheeks and clung to her hair. The woman had improved over the past couple of years, but she didn't have the honed skills of an Anbu operative. Even so, she'd pushed herself hard.

The streets were deserted as they walked, and Tenzo found his gaze drawn back to Sakura. Her sweatshirt jacket was zipped tight against the wind, and she'd shoved her hands into her pockets. Warmth shuddered through Tenzo's body from the fight. The adrenaline of combat was a poor substitute for soldier pills, but it was better than sitting at home and staring at the wall.

After leaving Ichiraku, Tenzo had gone back to his apartment and paced through the rooms. He tried cleaning, reading, and napping, but nothing helped. As dinner time came and went, Tenzo had been annoyed that Sakura hadn't come to check on him. Except, she did; it was just later than Tenzo expected. Which led to them walking home together in near silence.

Tenzo cut his eyes toward Sakura, wondering what she was thinking. The exercise left him more relaxed than he'd felt all day, which was nice, but anxiety crept up the back of his neck. He worried what would happen when he got home, when he spent the long hours of night staring at the ceiling and attempting to fall asleep. He exhaled and pushed those doubts away, bumping Sakura's shoulder with his. "Are you walking me home because you're scared I'll get kidnapped?"

The pinkette turned, looking up at Tenzo in confusion. Then, she laughed. "I don't know if you're pretty enough to be a damsel in distress. They'd probably leave you alone."

Chuckling, Tenzo inclined his head. "Maybe I should walk you home instead, then?"

A flush of pink colored Sakura's cheeks as they entered a more lit area of Konoha, but she shook her head. "I'd beat 'em up if they tried anything."

"Of course you would." Tenzo buried his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes. Sakura didn't answer, but pulled her shoulders up toward her ears in a shrug.

A breeze whipped through the street, scattering leaves across the path. Tenzo's apartment loomed ahead, several streets away from Sakura's. They would need to go their separate ways soon, him to the left, and her to the right. Tenzo's feet slowed with reluctance, and Sakura adjusted her pace. "So," he started, pulling a hand out of his pocket to tug at the hem of his sweatshirt. "I, uh, guess it's time to say goodnight."

A small smile darted across Sakura's lips as she paused in the street. "I guess so," she responded, glancing up at Tenzo without moving away. "Goodnight, then?"

Tenzo's heart tightened at the thought of going back to his empty apartment. He frowned, wondering how needy it would sound if he asked Sakura to come home with him, not to mention how improper it was. He didn't care. "Um, I was uh," Tenzo trailed off, aware of the uncomfortable warmth in his cheeks. He shook his head. "Nevermind."

For a minute, the thunder of blood in Tenzo's ears was the only thing he heard. Sakura studied him, then smiled. "Do you want me to walk you back?" The heat in Tenzo's cheeks increased for some reason, but he couldn't answer. "You know, I'd actually feel better if I gave your vitals a once over after that exercise. It's been a while since you pushed yourself that hard. "

Tenzo started to point out that he wasn't the one soaked in sweat after their spar, but the careful phrasing of Sakura's words stopped him. "I'm sure they're fine, and I don't want to inconvenience you."

"You aren't an inconvenience." Sakura hooked her arm through Tenzo's and pulled him forward a couple of steps. "You're still my patient after all."

Lips twitching toward a smile, Tenzo chuckled. "Somehow, I don't find that as reassuring as I used to."

Sakura grinned over her shoulder. "Only if you don't behave."

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Safely ensconced in Tenzo's apartment, Sakura shed her jacket and shoes, breathing a sigh of relief. The wind brought out a rosy color to Tenzo's cheeks, so she could only imagine how red hers were. The evening had been colder than she'd expected when she suggested a walk, but she wasn't bothered by that. Tenzo's shoulders weren't quite as tense as they had been, and he no longer looked ready to pace a hole in the floor of his apartment. The exercise had worked, even if he wouldn't admit it.

Sakura hadn't anticipated the man's nervous stammer when it came time to part ways, however. At first, she didn't understand. Tenzo hadn't been afraid of asking for what he needed over the course of his detox, and they'd grown closer for it. But, he'd blushed and stumbled over his words like a school boy. It took her a moment to realize that he didn't want her to leave. He hadn't managed a full night on his own yet, and the idea of trying again must have been terrifying. Though, Sakura struggled to reconcile the idea of an Anbu agent being afraid of anything.

Unaware of Sakura's thoughts, Tenzo walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. After a couple of minutes, he returned and offered her some water. "Here. You should rehydrate."

"Thanks." Sakura spun the cap off of the bottle and took a long pull, thankful to erase the itchiness in her throat from the cold. Recapping it, she nodded toward the table. "Let me get a look at your vitals to see where we are."

Sakura didn't expect to find anything unusual in Tenzo's pulse when she grabbed ahold of his wrist. The slight elevation of the man's heart rate was likely due to the walk, but it was still lower than most of the patients that Sakura saw. Peak physical conditioning did that, even though Tenzo had missed a couple of weeks. She nodded to herself. "Everything looks good, just as I expected."

Tenzo hummed in agreement, but he didn't speak. When the man glanced away, some of the tension erased by the exercise bled back into his posture. Sakura watched Tenzo for a moment, studying the familiar features of his face, then she reached across the table and patted his knee. "Do you want me to stay the night?" Tenzo's ears flamed crimson, pulling a laugh from Sakura's lips. "As a friend, obviously."

"Obviously," Tenzo echoed, pushing to his feet. He walked back to the kitchen and filled a glass of water for himself. "I'm sure I'll be fine, and I don't want to bother you."

Sakura followed, resting her hand on Tenzo's back as he stood beside the sink. "We've already talked about this; you aren't a bother."

"I feel bad about keeping you out late when you're planning to go back to work tomorrow." Tenzo drained the glass, then turned it upside down in the sink. "What if you stayed for a little while, and I'll see if I can get to sleep early?"

A smile tugged at Sakura's cheeks. "I think that could work."

While Tenzo went to take a quick shower before bed, Sakura finished her water and stole a protein bar from one of the cabinets. The man's apartment had begun to feel more like home than hers, though Sakura knew that would change with time. She'd spent weeks here, watching Tenzo fall apart, then build himself back up. Sakura couldn't help but wonder if they would experience another relapse. Tenzo's recovery would have ups and downs, she knew that, and she wanted to be ready for anything.

After about fifteen minutes, the bedroom door swung open with a soft sigh. Tenzo stepped out, face flushed from the warmth of his shower. Grey sweatpants hugged the man's hips, and a white t-shirt clung to his still damp skin. When he lifted an arm to ruffle through his freshly washed hair, and the bunching of his sleeve over his bicep distracted Sakura from the fact that Tenzo had spoken. Giving her head a small shake, she forced herself to focus. "What did you say?"

"Just that I think I'm going to turn in now." Tenzo walked across the room to turn off the kitchen light. He paused beside Sakura, glancing between her and the bedroom while looking sheepish and uncertain at the same time. "It's been a long day."

Nodding, Sakura crossed over to check that the front door was locked and turned off the light. Tenzo's apartment was familiar enough for her to walk through in complete darkness, at least the main living areas. She hesitated only briefly before opening the bedroom. A soft pool of golden light drove back the shadows beside the bed when Sakura stepped inside. Tenzo had crawled beneath blankets, resting on his right hip and shoulder. She sat down on the opposite side of the bed.

Silence reigned for several seconds, then Tenzo managed a laugh. "This is really awkward."

"It's fine," Sakura returned, stretching her legs in front of her. They were sore from the spar, but no more so than after a normal session. "We've been through a lot of awkward things lately."

Tenzo exhaled and nodded, nestling deeper into the blankets. "I know, but this is—"

"No more awkward than anything else." Sakura adjusted her shoulders against the headboard to get more comfortable. "Now, are you going to turn the light off? You can't sleep with it on."

A huff of breath accompanied the question, then darkness swallowed the room. Sakura stilled, listening to the sound of Tenzo's breathing for several seconds before closing her eyes. The warmth of his bed felt comfortable, and the darkness erased the imagined borders between them. "I know that today was hard," Sakura whispered, letting her body sink deeper into the pillow. "I'm proud of you for sticking with it."

Tenzo hummed in agreement, but he didn't answer. The silence didn't bother Sakura; she let her mind drift as the words tumbled out. "It's going to be difficult, but you can do this. Ino has some great ideas for helping with post traumatic stress and addiction. We've already talked about exercise. It should be easy enough to throw yourself into that as an Anbu. Running, yoga, mountain climbing, sparring, kenjutsu, there's a million options."

"Combine that with counseling and medical support, and you'll be feeling better in no time." Sakura fought down a yawn and opened her eyes, staring at the soft moonlight coming through the window. "We're going to get through this," she murmured.

Tenzo's breath grew deeper as he fell toward sleep. Sakura matched the sound, deciding to give him ten minutes to make certain he was well and truly out before leaving. Smiling to herself, she folded her arms over her stomach and let her eyelids flutter shut. Just ten more minutes.

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The next morning, Sakura woke in the quiet calm of Tenzo's apartment with a stiff neck and the horrifying realization that she'd overslept. Tenzo laid on his stomach beside her, one arm pillowed under his head as he faced the wall. Cursing under her breath, Sakura slid off the bed and tiptoed across the room. After easing the door shut behind her, she grabbed the notebook from her bag. Sakura scrawled a quick note and tucked it beneath a bowl of fruit on the kitchen table. Running late for work. I'll stop by later!

Content that Tenzo wouldn't worry about her, Sakura darted out the door. She received several curious stares while sprinting back to her apartment, but she ignored them. There were more important things to worry about, like how she was going to explain being late. Even though she was already an hour behind schedule, Sakura needed to shower after the previous night's sparring session. Throwing her bag onto the bed, she jumped into the spray before it had time to heat, then scrubbed her body and hair in record time.

As Sakura stepped onto the bath mat, she studied her face in the mirror. Smudges darkened the skin beneath her eyes from the irregular schedule of the past couple of weeks. She had planned to put on makeup and style her hair before going into work, but Sakura was too late to bother with that. Swiping through her hair with the towel and brushing the strands flat would have to be enough. Sakura dried off, threw on a pair of scrubs, checked that her bag had everything that she needed, then hurried from the apartment.

Despite planning to reach the hospital early enough to clean up the mess from her absence, Sakura walked through the doors an hour and a half after the start of her shift. People crowded the waiting room, at least half of the chairs taken up by patients of all ages. Employees bustled around the space with smooth efficiency. As Sakura approached the nurse's station, she noticed a familiar form leaning on the counter. The easy conversation died as Kazuko turned. His eyes widened at the sight of the disheveled medic behind him. After a moment, he offered a delayed smile. "Welcome back, Haruno-sensei."

"Thanks," Sakura murmured, feeling a flush of embarrassment rise on her cheeks. She hated looking unprofessional, especially in front of Kazuko. "Give me some time to get settled, and I'll be ready to work."

Turning to the receptionist behind the counter, Kazuko rapped his knuckles twice. "I'll be back in a few minutes to help you get that organized." At the woman's nod, he motioned down the hallway toward the offices, then started in that direction. Sakura had no choice but to follow, as much as it rankled.

Once they were several strides away from everyone, Kazuko glanced over. "Why don't you take the morning to get caught up on paperwork? I can manage the patients for another couple of days."

As much as Sakura wanted to argue, she saw the sense in Kazuko's suggestion. Though the man was too kind to say it, she heard the dig as well. He'd managed the load by himself for weeks; one more day would make no difference. Sakura sighed. She'd held the position of head medic for less than three months, and she was already screwing it up. It wasn't just the struggle of being the Anbu medic, but also balancing the civilian side with Kazuko. Why hadn't Tsunade and Shizune warned her about him?

"I'm sorry," Sakura began, brushing through her hair with one hand. "The past couple of weeks have been hectic."

Kazuko stopped outside of Sakura's office. "It's not a big deal. Tsunade-sama was rarely in the hospital, and there were times that Shizune-sensei left as well. I've had a lot of practice running things."

The words left a sour feeling in the pit of Sakura's stomach. Kazuko was better suited for the job than she was, and he always had been. He pushed his lab coat back and slid his hands into his pockets. A wistful expression crossed the man's face before he continued. "I know I don't have clearance for whatever you've been working on, but if there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

Sakura frowned at the unexpected offer. Could Kazuko have ulterior motives for appearing helpful, or was he just thankful to have her back? She leaned toward the latter. After their jaunt at the bar and his apartment, Sakura suspected that Kazuko might be one of the genuinely good guys left in the world. But, that didn't erase his disappointment in being overlooked for a promotion. Figuring him out was too difficult, at least for the moment. "Thanks," she responded, deciding to leave well enough alone.

If it had been anyone else, Sakura would have taken them out for drinks as a thank you for their hard work. But, after the fiasco with Kazuko a few weeks ago, Sakura didn't think that reintroducing alcohol to their relationship was the best idea. They'd almost gotten back to a semi-normal relationship, and she didn't want to ruin that. Lunch was another option, but Sakura had promised to stop by Tenzo's on her break. Kazuko would have to wait for another day.

Despite Kazuko's efforts at running the hospital, administrative paperwork had piled up on Sakura's desk. Towers of files and reports teetered across the surface, several bearing Kazuko's post-it notes and suggestions. Sighing, Sakura placed her bag on the floor beside her chair and eyed the amount of work waiting on her. It was going to take hours to make a dent in her neglected responsibilities.

Forcing herself to take a breath, Sakura turned her attention back to what needed to be done. It was impossible to complete everything at once, but she could finish one thing, and then another. After a couple hours of using that technique, Sakura's pile grew less in danger of starting an avalanche. She was halfway through a report on a civilian death that needed her signature when someone knocked on the office door. Sakura ran a hand through her hair to smooth the wavy tresses and straightened her shirt before calling out. "Come in."

The door swung inward to reveal Ino, dressed in the crisp grey of Torture and Investigation. The woman tapped a pale folder on the heel of one hand as she swept into the office. Sakura found it ironic that she and Ino had been thrust into roles of leadership within Konoha, whether or not they were ready. She supposed that was a part of growing up, or growing up as a shinobi, at least.

Indicating the chair on the opposite side of the desk, Sakura leaned back and crossed her legs at the knee. The movement released some of the tension that had built in her lower back from sitting at the desk too long. "Hey Ino, what can I do for you?"

The blond closed the door behind her and took a seat across from Sakura. After laying the file on the edge of Sakura's desk, Ino leveled her best friend with a teasing grin. "Before we get down to business, spill it. Have you made any progress with Hot Doctor?"

Hot Doctor? It took Sakura several seconds to realize that Ino meant Kazuko. Unbidden, a touch of warmth rose in Sakua's cheeks. She hadn't told Ino about that night at the bar, though she had no reason to hide it. After everything that happened with Tenzo, the indiscretion with Kazuko seemed a lifetime ago.

Pushing the thoughts away, Sakura rolled her eyes. "He has a name, you know."

"Oh, I know," Ino purred, dragging out the words with suggestive flair. "A name, and the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. Barring mine, of course."

Laughing, Sakura shook her head at the other woman. "Of course."

"Hot Doctor told me where to find you." Ino smiled again, but there was a dangerous, predatory undertone to the expression. "Kazuko seemed worried that you might be getting lost under the paperwork. I almost suggested there were better people for you to get under—"

"Ino," Sakura burst out, blushing despite her best efforts to avoid it. "I told you I don't have any interest in Kazuko, not like that."

Chuckling under her breath, Ino studied Sakura for a long moment. "Do you have that kind of interest in Yamato?"

"I don't have that kind of interest in anyone," Sakura snipped, hating the heat that filled her voice and face. She blew out a breath and tried to regain control of herself. "I'm assuming those are Yamato's results?"

At the mention of the official report, Ino's levity bled away; the set of her mouth and the way she carried herself changed. Sakura marveled at the ease with which her friend switched between her professional persona and the friendly one. Ino's eyes fell on the folder that she'd left on Sakura's desk as she nodded. "That's the official report, yes."

"If I'm being honest, I'm surprised you got Yamato to submit to the screening. His results are," the blond paused, searching for a word, "not good."

Sakura's stomach clenched with nervousness despite having known to expect the worst. Even so, she dipped her head. "If I thought they would be, I wouldn't have required an evaluation."

Reaching across the desk, Sakura pulled the folder closer. Neatly printed font filled the single page nestled inside. She skimmed the words before settling on the final recommendation: one month conditional leave with counseling, then reevaluation. Sakura exhaled, unsure whether to feel relieved or worried that Ino agreed with her. As if she could read her friend's thoughts, the blond frowned. "His answers weren't bad, but I got the feeling that most of them were lies."

Sakura's head shot up, recalling the rudimentary examination that she'd done as part of the physical. Tenzo had lied then, too. Ino shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me what was going on, but there's definitely something."

For some reason, Ino's diagnosis sent a flash of pleasure through Sakura's body. Tenzo hadn't opened up with Ino the way that he had with her recently. She knew that it was stupid to feel satisfaction; he needed to talk about the things that he was dealing with. But, it felt nice to have a part of Tenzo to herself.

When Sakura didn't speak, Ino cleared her throat. "Do you know what's going on?"

"I know what his medical exams revealed," Sakura hedged, trying not to lie while withholding information. She didn't feel comfortable revealing the details that Tenzo shared with her. There was a delicate line between friendship and doctor/patient confidentiality. Sakura walked it daily. "What do you recommend?"

"Without knowing the full extent of Yamato's condition, I would recommend a month of counseling, at least two or three times a week." Ino's brow furrowed as she worked through some detail in her mind. "There are a couple of group meetings he could attend, but we don't get many people at those. So, I'd suggest individual sessions. I could fit him into my schedule, if he'd feel more comfortable. Do you think he'd go for it?"

For a second, Sakura considered the question. Tenzo wouldn't like having to do counseling, but he wasn't going to have a choice. "If he wants to be reinstated for active duty, he will."

Chuckling, Ino dipped her head, then looked thoughtful. "You said there were two Anbu who needed evaluations, right? Your second one never showed."

Saiyo. The memory of the debacle in Tenzo's apartment soured Sakura's mood. She wanted to untangle the situation between the pair, but she wasn't sure how to go about it. Sakura wondered if Tenzo's demons had anything to do with the golden-eyed woman who was so clearly in love with him. It amused her that he ignored Saiyo's heated looks; he couldn't be oblivious to them. Sakura hoped that she'd never been that moony over Sasuke.

Despite her personal dislike of Saiyo, it was Sakura's duty as Anbu medic to get the woman the help that she needed. She nodded to Ino's original question. "There was. I'll reach out and see if I can get them to come in."

Ino glanced down at her wrist, and frowned. "I've got an appointment in twenty minutes, so I better get back to the office."

"Of course." Sakura rose when Ino did and offered a respectful bow between colleagues. "Thank you for bringing the results to the office personally."

"We should catch up soon; it's been a while." Ino turned toward the door, then paused and looked over her shoulder. Brow creased, the woman stared at Sakura for two heartbeats. "You know you can't save Yamato if he doesn't want to be saved, right?"

Panic clutched Sakura, hot and sudden as a kunai through the throat. She shoved the sensation away. "Yeah, I know."

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Tenzo's first day alone passed with frustrating slowness. He tried reading, napping, and pacing circles around his apartment, but it didn't break up the monotony of obligatory leave. He worried about the person who was overseeing Anbu in his absence. Had the burden been shoved onto Kakashi's already full plate of responsibilities? Did they choose Sai, perhaps? A different captain? Tenzo hated the questions and the unknowns almost as much as he hated the nervous energy that vibrated through his body.

A few hours ago, Sakura stopped by with a bag of sandwiches from the hospital cafeteria and encouraged Tenzo to eat. The thought hadn't crossed his mind until then, but he made himself try one. When he'd woken up, Tenzo had been surprised to find a note suggesting that Sakura had spent the night. The blankets on her side of the bed were rumpled, but there were no other traces of the woman in the apartment. He felt bad that she'd wasted more time taking care of him when she should have been focusing on herself.

As they were eating lunch, Tenzo started to tell Sakura that she didn't need to keep checking up on him. But, for some reason, the words wouldn't come out. He found that he didn't want Sakura to believe that he didn't need her, as selfish as that was. Knowing that the woman would continue to show up made it easier for Tenzo to keep himself in check. He didn't want to disappoint her by falling back to the same stupid decisions that he'd made in the past.

So, Tenzo paced around his apartment like a caged animal and waited for the evening. The expected knock came near dusk, and he rose almost instantly. He pulled the door open more quickly than he intended, and Sakura's lips lifted in a tired smile. "Hey you," she offered, slipping into the apartment like it was natural. In a way, Tenzo supposed it was.

As Sakura kicked off her sandals, her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. She dropped her bag beside her shoes, then crossed the room to throw herself onto the couch. Nestling into one corner, she tucked her legs under her then looked up at Tenzo. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than you, it seems," Tenzo teased, pasting a falsely bright smile on his lips. Hopefully Sakura wouldn't be able to see through it. "Tough day?"

Sakura rolled her shoulders, producing a low popping sound from her neck. "It was long, with lots of things to catch up on."

Tenzo took a step forward, half intending to massage Sakura's shoulders, then stopped himself. "I'm sorry I make things more difficult."

"It's fine." Sakura flashed the same easy smile that she seemed to manage no matter what was going on. Then, she tilted her head to study Tenzo more fully. "But, how are you, really?"

Raising his shoulders in a shrug, Tenzo joined Sakura on the couch. "I'm going stir crazy here. If I don't get cleared for duty soon, I'm probably going to lose my mind. Do you have any idea how much longer this is going to take?"

While it felt good to get the question out, Tenzo's heart sank when Sakura's eyes darted away from his face. She knew that he wasn't going to like the answer. Sighing, she sat up and worried her lower lip between her teeth before speaking. "Ino brought your results by, yes. She recommends therapy sessions over the next couple of weeks, then we'll evaluate your progress."

"Weeks," Tenzo burst out. Despair crashed over him like a wave, making it impossible to breathe. "Did you tell her I'm already making progress? Can't you clear me for light duty, at least?"

Sakura sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "You knew this was going to take time; don't try to rush it. The earliest opening Ino has is on Friday. After that, we'll see how things are."

"Friday," Tenzo hissed in disbelief. "It's only Wednesday!"

Tenzo wasn't sure that he could spend another day doing nothing while staring out the window to distract himself from how miserable his life was. Sakura didn't answer as she stood and stretched. When she walked back toward the door, Tenzo tried and failed to constrain himself to an annoyed grunt. "So what? I'll go lay on her couch, spill out my problems, and it'll make everything better?"

Sakura didn't comment on the snarky response. The woman's refusal to acknowledge Tenzo's annoyance only stoked his anger. She lifted a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants from her bag, setting them on the floor next to her. "I'm going to change, then we can spar. I think burning off some steam would do us both good."

"Fine," Tenzo grouched, reaching for his shoes. "Anything is better than staying here."

Tenzo and Sakura didn't speak as they walked through the nearly deserted streets of Konoha. The late hour and creeping chill kept most people indoors at this time of evening. Tenzo blew out a breath as he angled toward the training ground that they'd used the previous night. This one provided enough privacy for Sakura and Tenzo to let loose in a way that ones closer to the village didn't. Not that he anticipated needing ninjutsu to win.

Moving through the falling darkness almost felt like heading out for a mission. The realization left Tenzo antsy and frustrated. The idea that he'd be out of commission for another couple of weeks irritated him. He'd been doing better lately; there'd only been one setback. If he couldn't get back to work soon, he would lose his mind. These sparring sessions provided some relief from the nervous tension, but it wasn't enough.

"Same rules as last night?" Sakura turned to face Tenzo in the semi-darkness, her eyes brighter than the dying sunlight behind her shoulder.

Tenzo drew a deep breath and nodded, turning to face the woman. Sakura stood half a dozen feet away, her fingers raised in the universal symbol of readiness. Laughter rumbled in Tenzo's throat; that type of trust would get her killed one day. Tenzo had used the previous spar to test Sakura's skills. He'd toyed with her, feigning weakness to see how she'd improved over the years. While the woman had earned her rank of jonin, she wasn't Anbu, and Tenzo didn't feel like play fighting any longer.

Two minutes into the spar, Tenzo ducked beneath a flat palmed strike and swept Sakura's feet out from under her. She hit the ground hard and glared up at him, teeth gritted against the impact. Sakura had gotten quicker with taijutsu, but Tenzo was faster. He slipped backward without offering a hand to pull her back to her feet. Adrenaline flooded through his veins, producing the only high he was allowed to chase now. Moving felt good, far better than sitting in his apartment all day.

Huffing, Sakura climbed to her feet. As the woman dusted off her pants, Tenzo lunged and drove her toward the trees. Sakura growled and moved backward, blocking the rain of blows with crossed forearms. Even so, the flurry left marks on her thigh, shoulder, and stomach. With every tap, Sakura grew more frustrated. Tenzo didn't bother pointing out that it only made her easier to counter.

Sakura hit the ground five more times in rapid succession. Fury shone in her eyes when she picked herself up the sixth time. Letting out an amused breath, Tenzo dodged a roundhouse kick that would have sent him flying. He spun with the grace of a trained operative, ending with the edge of his hand pressed against Sakura's neck. Her fingers jabbed into his ribs, a poor trade in damage. Tenzo's blow would have crushed her windpipe; at most, Sakura's would have left him sore the next day.

Jerking her chin upward to throw damp tendrils of hair from her face, Sakura glared at Tenzo. "Did you let me win last night?"

It would have been easy to lie, to let Sakura save face. But, irritation and anger mixed with adrenaline in Tenzo's veins, an unfamiliar song after weeks of inactivity. He dipped his head. "Yes."

An expletive burst through Sakura's lips as she shoved Tenzo away with two hands to his chest. The movement was almost as surprising as the curse. He danced backward when she threw herself forward, hands and feet flashing with lightning precision. Tenzo dipped under another kick and struck at Sakura's unprotected leg. She rolled away with the momentum of his attack, coming up two paces from where she'd been. Tenzo nodded in grudging respect and surged forward, blows coming from every direction at once.

Sakura blocked the attacks with her arms and shins, grunting with every jolting contact. Even so, her guard never lowered. Tenzo couldn't get close enough for another killing strike. When he tried to knock Sakura's feet out from under her again, she leaped over his leg and turned. Her fist caught the edge of Tenzo's jaw, landing Sakura's first strike of the evening. It would be her last.

Snapping one hand up, Tenzo caught Sakura's wrist and spun her around. Her back hit his chest with a solid thud that might have knocked the air from her lungs. If not, Tenzo's superior height and weight made it easy to trap Sakura's body against his. She hissed and slammed the elbow of her free arm against his side. Tenzo tightened his hand, opening his stance when Sakura tried to stomp on his foot. "Yield," he demanded through gritted teeth. "It's over."

Unable to break Tenzo's grip on her wrist, Sakura turned into it. Being face to face didn't change much; even if they had been using weapons, Sakura gained access to Tenzo's throat while offering the same to him. Sparks glinted in the woman's emerald eyes as she stared up at him. Sweat ran down Sakura's cheek, clutching at the strands of hair that had come loose during their bout. She almost—Tenzo realized Sakura's intention a second too late. Her knee jerked up between his legs, and his world erupted in pain.

Training kept Tenzo on his feet as waves of agony rolled through his body. He couldn't maintain his grip. When his fingers released, Sakura planted a leg to jump backward, but Tenzo threw himself forward at almost the same instance. Tangling their feet together, he used his bulk to carry Sakura to the ground. Under usual circumstances, he would have softened the blow by trying to catch his weight on hands or elbows. This time, he didn't bother.

Sakura's right hand bounced off the ground with the impact. Before she could gain an advantage, Tenzo caught her wrist and pinned it flat against the grass. Forcing the second into the same position, he blew out a breath. The woman twisted in the scant space between their bodies, bucking and fighting with every ounce of her strength. Tenzo positioned himself higher than Sakura's dangerous knees and pressed his weight onto her hands to immobilize her. "Surrender," he growled.

A swath of dirt covered Sakura's right cheek, and blood oozed from the corner of her mouth when she spat the words. "I yield."

Tenzo remained still for three heartbeats, then he rolled to the side. Sakura rubbed her wrist with one hand and pushed into a sitting position. When the woman didn't spring back to her feet to renew the spar, he settled on the grass beside her. A cool breeze swirled between them, drying the sweat on Tenzo's face. Sakura wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand. "Don't let me win because you think it'll make me feel better," she whispered. "I've had a lifetime of that."

Not meeting Tenzo's eyes, Sakura pulled the tie from her hair and shook out the pale tresses. Guilt settled in his stomach as he laid back on the cold grass. "Okay," he agreed, keeping his voice light to diffuse the tension between them. "That was a dirty move, by the way."

Sakura didn't answer, but Tenzo felt the woman shifting in the space beside him. He didn't press for an apology or conversation; when Sakura wanted to talk, she would. Instead, he focused on the black expanse overhead. When Tenzo exhaled, it was cold enough that he half expected to see his breath. It made the warmth of Sakura's hip next to his more noticable. "Your rule was hand to hand," the woman observed after a moment. "I didn't use any weapons. Besides, Anbu use any tactic to win, right?"

"Except, you aren't in Anbu," Tenzo pointed out. He interlaced his fingers over his stomach and watched several thin clouds scuttle across the moon before continuing. "And, this wasn't a real fight."

"It's always a real fight." Sakura returned, voice soft with melancholy that Tenzo couldn't place.

Tenzo pushed onto one elbow to watch Sakura. She sat with her knees drawn up in front of her chest, arms wrapped around them. Something had calmed the explosive fire of a few minutes ago; Sakura stared at the forest with a pensive expression on her face. "You've improved a lot," Tenzo offered after several seconds of silence.

"Oh, yeah." Bitter laughter bubbled through Sakura's lips. "Twenty-four hours makes a huge difference, huh?"

"You know that isn't what I meant." Tenzo pushed himself upright and bumped Sakura's shoulder with his. The woman's shrug brought a frown to his cheeks. "Are you okay?

A soft exhale answered the question. Something unfamiliar tightened in the pit of Tenzo's stomach. It had been a long time since he fought with Sakura, or anyone who wasn't Anbu. Had he overdone it? "Did I hurt you?"

Shaking her head, Sakura glanced over at Tenzo. "No, and I don't need any special favors. I've never measured up, so I'm used to it."

"I didn't pull my punches because I thought you were weak," Tenzo argued. Even as he said the words, shame twisted inside his chest. Had he gone easier on Sakura than he would have with Saiyo? Had he treated her as less than him because of the difference in their ranks? He shook his head. "I held back because we're friends, and that's what you do in a friendly spar."

Sakura scoffed and rolled her eyes. "No, friends push each other to get better."

"I didn't hold back my attacks. I just stopped them from being lethal," Tenzo pointed out with a huff. "You've gotten better. Three years ago, you wouldn't have been able to land a single hit.'

"I barely managed one," Sakura groused, stretching her legs in front of her. "That isn't much improvement."

Chuckling, Tenzo nudged Sakura a second time. "So, you're trying to join Anbu instead of being content as a jonin?"

Emerald eyes cut up to Tenzo's face, then rolled toward the sky. "No, but—"

"No, but you landed one hit on the head of Anbu, a shinobi who has been in the organization longer than you've been alive." Tenzo shook his head at the realization of how old he'd gotten before offering a tight smile. "I'd say that's an improvement."

A flush of approval appeared on Sakura's cheeks. "Should I turn in my application, then?"

Bile flooded Tenzo's mouth at the thought of Sakura joining Anbu. "No, absolutely not."

The woman's smile fell, and hurt crossed her features. "I was—"

"You're too good for Anbu," Tenzo clarified, surprised at the heat in his voice. Warmth bloomed in his cheeks as he realized how strongly he felt about the issue. Anbu would destroy the gentleness and hope that made Sakura who she was. "You're better than the rest of us."

Sakura chuckled under her breath. "Yeah, that's exactly why they won't make me an elite soldier, because I'm better than them."

"They won't make you Anbu because you're too valuable to risk." Tenzo wondered if Sakura had had aspirations to join the Black Ops. He couldn't imagine anyone less suited for the position, except for Naruto with his penchant for ignoring orders, perhaps. "You're too valuable for a lot of reasons."

"Yeah, no other shinobi could run the hospital so poorly that a civilian could do it better," Sakura grumbled.

Tenzo frowned at the sharpness in the woman's words. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it." Sakura pushed to her feet and brushed the dirt off of her pants before offering a hand. "It's getting late; we should head back."

Tenzo worried as Sakura pulled him back into a standing position. Was she having trouble at work? Was it because he'd taken up so much of her time with his personal problems? Did he need to talk to Kakashi about the load of responsibilities on Sakura since she took over as Anbu medic? Was there something deeper going on?

The questions buzzed in Tenzo's mind like insistent flies, but he knew that now wasn't the time to ask. Sakura didn't want to get into an explanation or she would have. He nodded and let her keep her secrets. "You're right. Since it's been a rough day, I'll make dinner for you when we get home."

The corners of Sakura's lips lifted in a smile. "Thanks, I'd like that."