“I can see about ten different ways this is going to go wrong, but I don’t see that stopping you, so let’s just go get this over with.” - DaiTeru
And here we have our Bad Cop and Worse PI idiots in another adventure! And yes, they’re all idiots.
Daichi stares hard at Terushima, urging him to take back every word he’d just uttered. Kuroo’s gaze shifts uncomfortably between the two men, waiting for something - anything - to happen. Finally, Daichi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s a gesture of surrender if Kuroo’s ever seen one.
“I can see about ten different ways this could go wrong,” Daichi starts, “but I don’t see that stopping you, so let’s just go and get this over with.”
“Oh come on, Dai,” Terushima exclaims, “what could possibly go wrong?”
Everything. The answer to the question Terushima asked three hours ago is everything.
Kuroo’s cackle as they walk into the station is greatly unappreciated. Daichi snorts to himself as he watches Kuroo fall out of his chair, smacking his elbow against his desk on the way down. Within seconds, the Captain steps out of his office to see what the commotion is all about.
“What the ever loving hell happened to you two?” Iwaizumi asks, extremely unimpressed.
“Him,” Daichi replies, pointing his thumb over his shoulder towards Terushima.
“Woah, okay. We still got the guy, didn’t we? How was I supposed to know he’d be at a glitter party!”
Both Iwaizumi and Daichi stop to glare daggers at Terushima. Some days, he was bloody brilliant at his job. Most days, he was a gibbering idiot. Today, he was decidedly option two.
“Is he at least in booking?” Kuroo cuts in.
“Yes.”
“Is he as shiny as you are?”
“No, and I’m not talking about it. Fuck off, Kuroo.” Daichi is done with all kinds of shit today.
Terushima’s information on a minor drug dealer had been good. They’d had eyes on him for a little over a week. Daichi had prepared every minute detail in order to make the arrest happen. What Terushima had, apparently, not heard from his informant is that the takedown would happen in the middle of a glitter party. Daichi is now in a position where he knows what that is. There isn’t enough bourbon in the world to obliterate that information from his memory.
“Captain?”
“Daichi?”
“Is ‘glitter bomb explosion’ a feasible defence for murder?”
“Depends. Are we talking first or second degree?”
“How long must I have thought about it for it to be first degree?”
“Well, that’s quite subjective.”
“Then let me rephrase - is ‘explosion of glitter bomb’ a viable defence for committing first degree murder against our world-class fuck up of a private investigator?” Iwaizumi humoured him by pretending to think about it for a few minutes.
“No. Now get the fuck out of my station. You’re trailing that shit everywhere. Kuroo, you’re off the clock. Your face is irritating me today.” Kuroo squawked in mild protest.
These two were going to be the death of Daichi - Terushima more so than Kuroo. Daichi knew it would take days - weeks - to get all the glitter out of his hair and clothes. He was going to make Terushima do all the laundry for the foreseeable future.