#testiclemonials

[tofurkinator]

☢You claimed you were a certified genius and I asked to see your paperwork.

You may be right but a) that was like a year ago im not *as* much of an asshole now and b) oh my GOD

[tofurkinator]

U said u would sleep but you're more awake than Adele [plays the why you always lying song] 👏🏻

sh ush,, im am more asleep thann 1999 wolfpupy tweeets and i have no fucking idea wat that means

[tofurkinator]

You've worn a bolo tie one too many times (one too many is 1 time)

false, I’m wearing another one today

[biggrandesteacherslounge]

cAS i'm laying in my room cackling about the 'card wiggler' tag there are real tears

GOOD i am glad to have caused mirth