TEMBA Gazette, Running Commentary, October 16, 2009
Creativity magazine owes Abel Gonzales, Jr. an apology. Each year, the advertising and consumer culture rag publishes something called the Creativity 50, a list of people who have “made a significant mark on the creative consciousness of…our culture as a whole.” Stephen Colbert made the list. So did Tina Fey. Sergey Brin and Larry Page of Google fame are on it. David Byrne, David Axelrod and Jeff Bezos – check. But Abel Gonzales? Nothing. Not one thing. Why it’s akin to leaving Abraham Lincoln off a list of best U.S. Presidents. It’s either a deliberate snub or a colossal oversight and both are inexcusable. Wait. What’s that? You don’t know Abel Gonzales either? The Michelangelo of the Midway. The Edison of Edibility. The da Vinci of the deep fryer. The I.M. Pei of the PB&J. Anyone? Hello? Well, perhaps you know Mr. Gonzales more by his actual creations than by his name. Does Fried Coke ring a bell? How about the Deep Fried PB&J sandwich? Texas Fried Cookie Dough? Surely you know Fire & Ice – that deep-fried confection featuring a pineapple ring with banana-flavored whipped cream frozen in none other than liquid nitrogen…that’s right, liquid freakin’ nitrogen. Google that, Sergey. For those of you still in the dark, Gonzales is a now legendary concessionaire at the Texas State Fair in Dallas. Since 2005, the fair has recognized concessionaires’ culinary creativity through the Big Tex Choice Awards. Gonzales had already garnered 3 Big Tex awards going into this year’s competition. I have had the pleasure of sampling all of these except the fried cookie dough and honestly wondered where Gonzales could go from here. After all, deep fried soda and liquid nitrogen-laced fried fruit are awfully hard to top. Abel Gonzales is no ordinary concessionaire however. What he has done this year is the fair vendor’s equivalent to baseball’s elusive .400 batting average. Why, I’m sure even Teddy Ballgame himself would marvel at Gonzales’ latest feat. Abel Gonzales’ creation is nothing short of a miracle. He has created deep fried butter. I’ll allow that to set in for a few seconds...deep fried butter. Bobby Kennedy was thinking about a better world when he so eloquently stated that he “dreamed of things that never were and asked why not.” Abel Gonzales was apparently thinking about fried butter when he asked the same question. And look at what it got us - saturated fat rolled in dough and then deep fried to a hushpuppy-like shape and consistency. If that doesn’t capture the creative consciousness of our culture as a whole, then I don’t know what does. On Saturday, I’ll enter Fair Park for the annual Texas-OU showdown and make a beeline for….the beer line, of course.* THEN, I’ll venture over to Nimitz Drive to sample Gonzales’ heavenly butter creations. I can think of nothing more satisfying other than maybe an OU three-and-out and a Shipley punt return for a touchdown to start the game. Our own Mark Hardin couldn’t wait until game day to get his hands on some deep fried butter. In fact, he was so enamored by the buttery bonnes bouches that he celebrated his first anniversary at the Texas State Fair last weekend. O.K, in fairness I don’t think the butter was actually a planned part of the celebration, but he has tried the dish nonetheless. For those of you making the trek to Dallas, heed Mark’s advice about the larger butter balls. For those of you not going to the game, well….you’ll just have to use your imagination. Here’s what Mark said: “Fried Butter has the appearance of an un-glazed donut hole and the consistency of a Pillsbury buttermilk breakfast biscuit. Eight State Fair coupons ($4) gets you a serving of four of the fried butter balls sprinkled lightly with powdered sugar. You can choose from four flavors including original, garlic, cherry, and (everyone’s favorite?) grape. I was not brave enough to venture beyond “original” fried butter. The experience was basically par with eating a very buttery biscuit – warm, soul-foody goodness with a perfect blend of crispiness and moistness, sweetness and saltiness. However, beware of the larger butter balls in the batch – they squirt.” Thank you Mark and best of luck to your Bruins this weekend. While most of us will be glued to the Texas-OU game, Mark will likely be keeping an eye on the UCLA-Cal game at the Rose Bowl. Good luck finding any fried butter in Pasadena. As far as Texas-OU, I’ve learned over the last twenty years (I attended my first in the series back in 1989) that you can throw out the statistics when analyzing this rivalry. I’m looking for a breakout game from Fozzy Whittaker and more pass-run options for Colt. Couple that with a confident defense keying in on Bradford and you have the winning formula: Texas 31, Oklahoma 17. Then again, Texas might win by 50. Hey, anything’s possible. Just ask Abel Gonzales. *Editor’s Note: A tip for those going to Dallas. Historically, the cheapest beer at the Texas State Fair has been at a place called the Chili Parlor located in the Tower building – half the price in some cases. This year, the Chili Parlor will also be serving the Chili Cheese Dog Pot Pie. While the editor has personally researched the contents of this dish, a well-placed hyphen between ‘cheese’ and ‘dog’ would probably go a long way toward eliminating any confusion over the ingredients of this savory entrée. Enjoy.