Life Doesn’t Change After You’re Published, and other kinda-truths
It’s been one entire year since my debut novel, TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, was published on June 7, 2022. My little YA contemporary about a girl and her body hair, but also about so much else.
It sometimes feels like no time has passed at all—like just last week I was on my way to my little local book launch with friends. I remember that day so clearly. I got my hair (on my head, ha) and nails done for funsies, and my brother came to town for the launch. On our drive to the bookstore I was happy and excited, but also had jitters in my stomach because I wore a dress that ended just above my knees—with my very hairy legs exposed. Yes, this was despite not having removed my leg hair in years, and despite having worn shorts so many times in the interim without any discomfort. I knew why, of course: It was because now I was wearing an outfit typically very strongly associated with femininity (a dress) and somehow it felt like the two things couldn’t go together. I mused that here was further evidence that unlearning harmful things society had taught me was going to be a lifelong venture. Which was an interesting, amusing, and somewhat fitting realization to have on release day.
I still force myself into that discomfort often. In some ways, as I said to my audiobook narrator last year (Mayuri Bhandari, she’s amazing), I even feel some responsibility to do so. Whenever wonderful, open-minded readers say to me, “I didn’t even know brown girls grew that much hair,” I think to myself, well, then it’s even more important that I show them.
To not feel, as an artist, completely divorced from my own work once it was public was one of the many surprises of having a book out. People always say that life doesn’t drastically change once you have a book published; and that, I was prepared for. Frankly I was more than happy with that idea--I’d spent so much time on promo in the lead up that I was exhausted, and looked forward to a quiet post-release. I missed my writing.
But although there’s no magical life-changing switch, I’ve found that things have changed. Just slowly, and subtly, as satisfying and long-lasting change often is.
I’ve talked at length about how the content of the book changed me. But in a general sense, I can think of many things in my day-to-day life that have changed since being published. For example, having friends in real life snapping pics of my book at stores across the continent; having people in real life ask me about my writing (a bit of a horror really); being tagged in blog posts and Twitter threads where people talk about their favourite books; getting DMs from people gushing about the book; talking to teens as a published author about books; having readers stand in front of me and excitedly tell me all the things they loved about my book while I smile silently thinking is this real? Is this real?; the opportunities I’ve had to sit down with other authors and laugh and compare notes and realize hey, we’re all going through the same weird-ass publishing machine; being asked to blurb other authors’ books; walking into random bookstores and seeing a copy on the shelf; being invited for lit festivals and interviews and to give talks and such as an established author. But most of all, it’s in the simple joy of knowing, every day, I am a published author. That has changed me. It’s a new piece of my identity. Once upon a time, it was my wildest dream. It’s a special privilege to be able to say I’m now dreaming of new things.
So, if you’re one of the people who’ve read TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, thank you so much for giving my little book a chance. It’s been amazing to see its impact over this past year, and I can only hope it will reach even more readers as time goes on. And for everyone who’s asked me what’s next... I can’t wait to share. Eventually. ;)
