#thanks grrm

[alleiradayne]

The absolutely chaotic Drama that is Elden Ring’s lore is a hilarious soap-opera dressed up in the disturbing horror fantasy genre. 

An Empyrean from the lands of Numen, Marika, is granted godhood by the Greater Will, an outer god, to rule over The Lands Between. With this godhood, she becomes the host of the Elden Ring. Through a long war, she unites The Lands Between with her husband, the first Elden Lord, Godfrey (the man previously known as Hoarah Loux). They have three kids, Godwyn, and twins Morgott and Mohg. The twins are cursed for some reason. The reason is never known.

Marika wants a world without what is called Destined Death. Basically, it’s just death, but it exists as a rule in the Order which is dictated by the Elden Ring. The ring is made up of a bunch of runes. One of those runes is Destined Death. Marika strips the Elden Ring of that rune and hides it with her half-brother and Shadow (read: bodyguard), Maliketh.

Then she gets bored? I guess? After a while she starts thinking to herself, “This Golden Order really sucks, and I’m not down with this Greater Will asshat.” She tells no one about this, strips Godfrey and all of his kinfolk of their grace which cuts them off from the Erdtree, and banishes them to fight and die in other lands so that they might return to grace stronger. But nobody knows she did it. So it’s just this thing that happens, some people are “Tarnished”, without grace, and have this mission upon death and resurrection to go to The Lands Between to return to her. This is you, the player.

She also has a “male half” of her person that exists as a separate second person named Radagon. He, at her order, tried to conquer Lirunia but failed twice and instead fell in love with the Carian queen, Rennala. So he married her. They had three kids, Radahn, Rykard, and Ranni. For some absolutely unfuckingknown reason Ranni is also an Empyrean like Marika. Do not ask why, there is no explanation and contradicts how Empyreans are typically created.

Anyway, without an Elden Lord, the Erdtree (oh by the way there’s this big giant golden tree, the Erdtree, that derives its power from the Elden Ring) is at risk. So Marika demands that Radagon leave Rennala and become the second Elden Lord. That happens. It breaks Rennala’s heart. Marika has two more kids with Radagon.

Yup. That’s right. She has two kids. With herself. There is literally no questioning this nor explanation for how the fuck this works or why. Marika and Radagon are supposedly the same person yet somehow existing in two separate bodies, one “female” and one “male”. So they have two children, twins Malenia and Miquella.

There’s this rule that only Empyreans can ascend to godhood, like Marika did. And Empyreans aren’t just born because two Empyreans did the do. Nope. Empyreans can only come from ONE Empyrean. And no, not like Radagon and Rennala. Even though Ranni is somehow an Empyrean, that’s not how it works. One Empyrean has to just randomly choose to birth another. It is quite confusing, especially considering Ranni’s existence.

Remember the twins, Malenia and Miquella? They are Empyreans because Marika and Radagon are the same person, just two halves living in separate bodies. So their twins fit the criteria. Except they’re cursed, one with a rotting flesh and the other with permanent childhood.

Y’all, this is the part where shit starts going crazy.

The Greater Will has chosen Ranni to succeed Marika. But Ranni is a moon magic snow witch, she wants nothing to do with this sun lightning god bullshit. So she figures out a way to kill her body but maintain her spirit. She steals shards of Destined Death to imbue into the knives of several assassins. These assassins are all Numen women close to Marika. She sends them out one night to kill Godwyn, Marika and Godfrey’s first son. With those Black Knives, his spirit is slain at the same time Ranni kills her body. Her spirit is maintained in a tiny doll that looks like her original mentor, the Snow Witch. All that’s left of Godwyn is a soulless husk.

After that, Marika has had enough. She shatters the Elden Ring. Just smashes it to bits with a hammer. Radagon tries to repair it but only ends up imprisoning them in the Erdtree. The shards of the Elden Ring, called Runes, are picked up by Marika’s children, step-children, and her husband’s ex-wife. War ravages The Lands Between. Mohg kidnaps Miquella and imprisons him in his egg to siphon blood magic off of him, it’s horrible. Malenia and Radahn fight in Caelid and Malenia goes full on Rot Queen, blighting the entire region with her Scarlet Rot and reducing Radahn to a mindless beast that eats everything in his path.

Centuries go by. Then a rando Tarnished wakes up in a fucking crypt in Limgrave one day, skips the tutorial because it’s down a hole that looks like it would kill you, and starts following these trails of light to the Erdtree while riding a fuckin’ Takin. They look like this:

They are destined to become the next Elden Lord (Synthesis). Or change the Order with Flame (Control). Or usher in a new age, the Age of Stars (Destruction).

Wait, what...

[alayne-stonecoldfox]

From a translated 2017 GRRM Russian Interview

Q: Who is more cunning- Varys or Littlefinger?

A: Hmmm. Probably Littlefinger

In 2016 GRRM also said that LF knew more about Varys than Varys knew about him

(x) link (x) link

[the-golden-ghost]

I wish GRRM could have come up with a better name for whatever that thing Melisandre had to wake up was than ‘the Great Stone Dragon’ because every time she mentioned that for the entirety of the book I kept thinking of this.

[fleurdulys]

Jaime es un personaje muy complejo. Su evolución era estrictamente necesaria, lo contrario lo hubiera terminado por destruir. No te voy a negar que Brienne forma parte de ese proceso; probablemente, su presencia ha influido mucho hasta ahora y lo seguirá haciendo

George R.R. Martin (x)

[ariannenymerosmartell]

No one talked to Arya. She didn't care. She liked it that way. She would have eaten her meals alone in her bedchamber if they let her. Sometimes they did, when Father had to dine with the king or some lord or the envoys from this place or that place. The rest of the time, they ate in his solar, just him and her and Sansa. That was when Arya missed her brothers most. She wanted to tease Bran and play with baby Rickon and have Robb smile at her. She wanted Jon to muss up her hair and call her "little sister" and finish her sentences with her. But all of them were gone. She had no one left but Sansa, and Sansa wouldn't even talk to her unless Father made her.

A whooping gang of small children went running past, chasing a rolling hoop. Arya stared at them with resentment, remembering the times she'd played at hoops with Bran and Jon and their baby brother Rickon. She wondered how big Rickon had grown, and whether Bran was sad. 

When at last she slept, she dreamed of home. The kingsroad wound its way past Winterfell on its way to the Wall, and Yoren had promised he'd leave her there with no one any wiser about who she'd been. She yearned to see her mother again, and Robb and Bran and Rickon . . . but it was Jon Snow she thought of most. 

Arya had not known her brother was so near. Riverrun was much closer than Winterfell, though she was not certain where it lay in relation to Harrenhal. I could find out somehow, I know I could, if only I could get away. When she thought of seeing Robb's face again Arya had to bite her lip. And I want to see Jon too, and Bran and Rickon, and Mother. Even Sansa . . . I'll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she'll like that.

For a moment Arya forgot to breathe. Dead? Bran and Rickon, dead? What does he mean? What does he mean about Winterfell, Joffrey could never take Winterfell, never, Robb would never let him. Then she remembered that Robb was not at Winterfell. He was away in the west, and Bran was crippled, and Rickon only four. It took all her strength to remain still and silent, the way Syrio Forel had taught her, to stand there like a stick of furniture. She felt tears gathering in her eyes, and willed them away. It's not true, it can't be true, it's just some Lannister lie.

When they were gone, Arya took the letter and carried it to the hearth, stirring the logs with a poker to wake the flames anew. She watched the parchment twist, blacken, and flare up. If the Lannisters hurt Bran and Rickon, Robb will kill them every one. 

As Arya crossed the yard to the bathhouse, she spied a raven circling down toward the rookery, and wondered where it had come from and what message it carried. Might be it's from Robb, come to say it wasn't true about Bran and Rickon. She chewed on her lip, hoping. 

Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell's grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan's stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow's smile. He used to mess my hair and call me "little sister," she remembered, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

Oh, look. There is textual evidence that Arya loves Rickon. 

[gendrie]

“I know she does have a favorite character and she has threatened to leave me if I kill that character so I do have to be very careful about that but I’m not gonna tell you what character that is you have to find out for yourself.” [x]

remember when grrm said this like we all dont know damn well who his wife’s fave is lmao

[sweettea243]

@georgerrmartin

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed bro.

[squeaker]

Welp. Sweet fuckin' dreams, ya sweet summer children.