#that's understandable.

[mushroompollution]

I heard Oz is awake, finally.

[perseid-haunt]

When I have to address something or express anger/upset, the fact he's able to feel good about it in a way--obviously he also feels bad and uncomfortable--but he's always expressed good feelings too. The fact my openness, even when negative, makes him feel more loved and confident in our relationship.

The maturity he has to understand that criticism and sometimes even anger comes from a place of love.

The most important male figure in my life was always my brother. I'll be honest. There are a lot of biases I held and things I still feel concerned about because I unconsciously worry he is in every man.

My brother has no tolerance for criticism and refuses to change or accept when he has a problem. He has explosive anger over non-issues. But if anyone else expresses something slightly akin to anger toward him, he gets offended and loses his shit. His idea of what it means for someone to be good to him is that they always act happy with him and never argue. But even then, he remains abusive toward people.

It's said that people (romantically) look for men that remind them of their father figures. I don't think that's true at all. I think people look for their father figures in their men. If you had a bad figure, you will look with dread and fear for it. If you had a good one, you will look with hope and love for it.

I've never been able to talk to a man I'm close to with criticism without it ending badly. It's always that they immediately explode and don't let me speak anymore and run down how bad I am. Or they lie to me with no intention of changing. (Edit: only half applicable to my awful grandfather. he is his own entity and peculiar situation.)

So far, he's been calm and receptive every time, ALWAYS ALWAYS lets me speak without interrupting even if I'm speaking for a really long time, communicates his own feelings in a mature manner, and thanks me for being genuine with him. He doesn't seem fake about it--he doesn't become a doormat; he pleads his case and sometimes I agree with it.

See, men don't have to be Like That. No one has to be Like That.

[vancilocs]

malor: hey, i'm back.

yakov: oh thank gods. i got so anxious i baked an entire loaf of bread.

malor: you did? where is it

yakov: i also got so anxious i ate an entire loaf of bread.

[thebattcr-blog]

Reading has been nice.

[volatilebeegod-blog]

.

[chaerin-vamp]

I think you can expect a 'sad' Chaerin. With no real motivation to do anything. She'll mostly ramble on things, she'll be sensitive. And I think you can easily assume she won't get a lot of sleep.