So my Secret Santee mentioned that one of her favorite pairings from New Adventures of Peter and Wendy was John x Umbrella, which I thought was fantastic and hilarious, and inspired me to write an origin story for how John and Umbrella first came to be. So, a song for Kelsey (mamaleh6994), and anyone else who ships “Johnbrella” from “The New Adventures of Peter and Wendy”.
In the style of a Johnny Cash Ballad
To all you Johnbrella Shippers out there, this one’s for you:
Now here’s a story you may not have been told
About a little boy (though now he’s old)
And the most pivotal moment
See, this little boy (though now a grown man),
was walking down the street, kicking a can,
when all the sudden he felt something
He’d gotten these senses from being bullied a lot
And he glanced around (but he soon wished he had not)
Now John, (for that’s our hero’s name)
when he turned around, he did exclaim:
“This isn’t fair! Look at the advantage
And Thor Odinson (up in Valhalla)
Heard the boy’s cries, and they made him feel sour
and so in answer, he crafted
Forged from stars and strong as hell,
he knew this blade would serve John well,
so he named it “Umbrella”
Back on earth, there was a flash of light
and down from the heavens, slicing the night
fell a weapon more powerful
than John had seen in a while
With the cry of an eagle, and a flash of lightning,
John caught the blade, and shouted “Fight me!”
The mere sight of Umbrella made the bullies weep
And they all threw themselves face first on the street
Well the bullies turned tail, and headed south
and John kissed Umbrella, straight on the mouth!
And said ‘I love you Umbrella, thank you for being
And Umbrella just sat there, because hes an umbrella
but John knew he sure was a lucky fella
to have such a faithful companion
And now John keeps Umbrella everywhere he goes
Because you never know when you might have to battle foes
And Umbrella someday will return to Valhalla,
But whenever a bully makes a boy feel smaller
Umbrella will be there quick
Well that there’s the story of a boy named John
and his faithful Umbrella, and the story goes on
Well you can just tell ‘em you heard it
