#thcheartbeat

[kindfair]

the truth was a bitter pill to swallow, and she'd had the misfortune of being on receiving of a reality check. as much as she enjoyed his company - nights spend over pot roast, stolen glances, lingering touches of the hand - it would come to an end as soon as september rolled around, he'd be off wherever it was he called home, and she'd be right here, changed and all the same all once. stuck in place, but now with a nasty yearning feeling eating away at every nerve in her body. she felt agonizingly aware that his compliments seemed to be niceties, and no indication of deeper feeling - after all, he would've done something by now, wouldn't he ?

she smiles softly at him, through the smoke of today's shared joint - one of many in the passing days. she's too high to know she should keep it to herself. ❝ for me, it was enough. to live for the hope of it all, cancel plans just in case you'd call. ❞

@thcheartbeat liked for a starter.

[kindfair]

❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. ❞ / @thcheartbeat !

lisa had never really known how to fully explain how much she loved warren — but the world came alive when he was around. everything was bolder, more awake than it had been a moment before. like he carried this beautiful, world-stopping aura about himself, the kind that made everyone around him forget for a moment whatever troubles they had before the conversation started. he was magnetic, and nothing but himself. she loved every part of him, from the curls on his head down to his toes. ❝ i'd live a thousand times over if it meant i got to meet you in every single one. ❞

[makeswell]

❝ 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞? … 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. ❞ / @thcheartbeat !

[makeswell]

when he kisses her, it's almost as if everything else fades away — there's nothing to worry about, or argue about, or wonder about. life becomes a collection of moments, lived a couple minutes at a time, figured out day by day. it's a good feeling, a happy feelings, a loving feelings. she breathes into the kiss, and stays close to him once it's over. in that moment, it feels like whatever hung over them went away. ❝ all you can say, all you can feel, was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss. leave it at that. ❞

@thcheartbeat liked this for a lyric starter.

[makeswell]

she'd always been calm with him — thought through each little word before she spoke it, kept her emotions at bay for the sake of his. she was rational, always seeking to deescalate the situation rather than assist in it imploding. she'd always been quick to justify his words, to intellectualize his occasional detox-induced cruelty. he has kind, mostly, so sweet she almost forgot for a moment the things he was capable of saying when he aimed to harm. ❝ you might just have dealt the final blow ... stop, you're losing me. ❞

@thcheartbeat liked this for a lyric starter !

[kindfair]

he's a mean drunk when he's in a bad mood, and he'd bombed his first attempt at a sober show so bad he wanted nothing more than to drown in a bottle. margo had been there, by his side as she always was, saying all the right things that would make a good man calm down. they do little for him, but rattle him more as he downs the bottle of whiskey, and throws the idea of ever really going to rehab to the wind. ❝ i hope i never get sober, and i hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say. and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way ! ❞

@thcheartbeat liked this for a lyric starter.

[kindfair]

❝ i’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭, 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡. ❞ / @thcheartbeat !

he feels like a fucking idiot, and a failure too, while he's at it. he'd been doing great, a whole damn year clean — good enough that he felt he could handle a party in the hills. sure, there'd be temptation all around, but he was stronger now, wasn't he ? he he'd learned to say no, and he'd apply that the moment someone offered him a drink or a bump. only he was a fuck ton weaker than he thought he was, and he'd bended by the third time someone offered him a line. the guilt is almost instant, and he's faced with the choice of fucking up even more to make it count, or running the fuck out of there.

he chose the latter. he thought of margo, trusting him enough to let him go to the party to begin with, waiting at home for him. and he realized that she mattered too much to him to fuck up again, that all he wanted was to go home. he wanted to crawl into bed with her and apologize a million times over, but he couldn't do that if he didn't make sure he wouldn't do this again. ❝ i'm sorry, honey. i came back upstate and they wouldn't let me use the fucking phone until now. ❞

[makeswell]

❝ 𝐬𝐞𝐞, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. ❞ / @thcheartbeat !

she's still incredibly mad at him, she'd spent all night ruminating over his particularly cruel tirade in the past week when he'd found out about the baby — how he'd looked her dead in the eyes and accused of lying about the paternity, and then told her to get rid of it if it was his. she'd played it over and over in her head, and it made her so sick the room almost spun. she'd forgiven him quickly, taken his desperate apology and justified his words as a result of her having concealed the pregnancy to begin with. they'd made up, started to become excited about the upcoming addition to their union, and when she was with him, she forgot all about it.

but then she'd get home, and be angry and sad all over again. she just wants the awful feeling gone, that resentment to dissolve into nothing. to be able to look him in the eyes and stop wondering how much of it he meant, and how much was meant to hurt her. and here, with him having a good day, being a lovely, sweet version of himself, it's as close as she'll get. ❝ you look good when you're happy. like there's this light behind your eyes. it's beautiful. ❞ she compliments, smiling softly.