David/Lenny
domesticity meme // always accepting // @arelegions
big spoon/little spoon: They switch. Sometimes, Lenny likes to be the big spoon and wraps herself around David like a koala. He resists it at first, but she can be super convincing. And when Lenny is sad about something, she likes David to hold her and remind her that it’s them against the world.
favorite non-sexual activity: They like to eat Twizzlers and talk about the cult a lot. It involves a lot of Lenny teasing David over the members calling him daddy. Before Lenny swore off the blue stuff, they liked to get high together, too.
who uses all the hot water: They live with a lot of people, so it’s probably rare that there’s any hot water anyway. But, if Lenny wakes up early enough, she’s the one who uses it. If David asks, she blames someone else.
most trivial thing they fight over: Who could beat Sydney in a fight. It’s obvious that David could wreck her, but Lenny likes to believe that she could do better. She just hates blondie a lot.
who does most of the cleaning: Neither of them. They have the cult members for that. Lenny does clean up her office when she needs to, but most of the time, she enjoys lazing around and watching other people do it. And David is too busy floating in the air and preaching to clean anything.
what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: They don’t watch TV. The house probably doesn’t have one. There’s enough entertainment watching the women squabble over daddy.
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Probably David. Lenny would start cussing, and she’d 100% threaten to erase the landlord’s bloodline. She doesn’t have the patience for things like that.
who leaves their stuff around: They don’t have many possessions. Lenny would leave her clothes on the ground when she changes, though. I can’t see David being that messy. He’d put his hippy outfits in the closet to keep them uncreased.
who remembers to buy the milk: Lenny. She enjoys leaving the house. Having time away from the women and David gives her time to breathe. Plus, if there’s no milk for her cornflakes in the morning, someone is getting a smashed skull.
who remembers anniversaries: Lenny is quite sentimental when it comes to David, so it’d probably be her. She’d remind him a couple of weeks in advance so that he makes time to celebrate with her. It wouldn’t have to be much – just sitting with her for an hour while sharing candy would be enough for her.
who cooks normally? Neither of them. The women in the cult cook for them. Or they get takeout. They’re far too important to cook. Not to mention, they’re busy most of the time. There’s a lot to do.
how often do they fight? They try not to fight very often, but when they do, it’s definitely over important things – mostly David being insensitive. It happens once or twice a year. They bicker sometimes, but it’s never super explosive.
what do they do when they’re away from each other? David sits in his little cave, floating and believing he’s some kind of God. Lenny walks around with her hammer cane, greeting new members of the cult, and annoying old ones. If she’s not doing that, she’s with Salmon, talking about the baby and being a good girlfriend.
nicknames for each other? David calls Lenny baby now and again. She calls him daddy in a mocking tone sometimes.
who is more likely to pay for dinner? David. Lenny would want to do a dine and dash. She’s all about the hustle, and wouldn’t want to pay for an expensive dinner.
who steals the covers at night? Lenny. She’d steal the covers, then accuse David of being a thief when he tries to steal some back. To be honest, she’s crazy enough to cut the blanket in half, claiming that it’s the only way to be fair. Her half would obviously be bigger.
what would they get each other for gifts? Lenny would buy David more hippy outfits, or go out recruiting more members for him. She knows that he doesn’t really care about material things anymore, so it’s the only thing she can do, to show him how much she appreciates him. David would probably get her some Twizzlers, or a couple of vinyl records. She loves listening to music and doing weird dances.
who kissed who first? If they kissed, David would have to be the one to initiate it. They’ve been best friends for so long, so Lenny would think she’s imagining a spark between them. She’d maybe kiss him first if it was a life or death situation, and one of them was about to die, and she wanted him to remember her by it.
who remembers things? David has a better memory than Lenny, but she remembers the important things. She knows most of the members of the cult by name, and she knows a lot about them. If David needs information, she’s always got it, or can get it.
who started the relationship? They met each other and were instantly like, “yes, this is the one. This is the person who gets me the most.” They’re platonic soulmates with occasional sexual tension.
who cusses more? Definitely Lenny. She can curse like a sailor when she’s angry. David is good and calm. He rarely cusses.
what would they do if the other was hurt? They’d both protect each other with their lives. Lenny more so than David, though. If he ever got hurt, she’d spend all her time trying to nurse him back to health. If she got hurt, David would make sure she was taken care of properly, and visit her when he wasn’t busy with the cult.
