Was chatting with @theartofdaydreaming101 and @gehrel over in Discord about Awan's obsession with comics & superheros being tied to childhood hurts/dissociation and was inspired to write this 🤎
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Nina stood by the bed, arms crossed, eyes locked on Awan. “I just…I feel like you’re making decisions without thinking about how they affect us,” she said, her voice taut but measured. “About the girls…about me.”
Awan ran a hand through his hair, pacing a few steps near the dresser. “Nina, every choice I make…I’m always thinking about Zora and Maya. I’m always thinking about YOU. Hell, I’ve been since the very first day we met.”
Something in Nina’s face softened, just a flicker, but Awan saw it. Then she pulled her shoulders back, as if tucking the feeling away before it could get a foothold.
“I know you think you are,” she said, her voice rising slightly, defenses back up. “But sometimes it doesn’t feel that way! And I…” She stopped, frustration coiling tighter around her chest.
“No, Nina,” Awan said firmly, taking a step closer. “You’re just so stubborn. And sometimes…you only hear what you want to hear.”
That struck a nerve. Nina’s lips twitched into a sharp laugh, half shocked, half exasperated. “Oh, come on!” she shot back, her voice rising now. “So it’s all my fault? Really, Awan?”
“I’m not saying it’s all your fault!” he said, trying to stay calm, though his own voice had grown louder. “I’m saying…”
“You’re saying what? That I’m impossible?” Nina snapped, gesturing toward him. “That I’m overreacting? You think you’re the only one trying here?”
“You know what, Nina? How about you do some pushups, that’ll calm you down.”
“Right…so that way you have an excuse to go play your Atari game???”
The room vibrated with their rising voices, the tension almost tangible, until a small, hesitant sound at the doorway made them both freeze.
Nina and Awan turned to see four-year-old Zora standing in the doorway, her small shoulders squared as she held tightly to her two-year-old sister Maya’s hand. Maya clutched her teddy bear so loosely it dragged along the floor, leaning slightly into Zora’s side.
Zora stood a step in front of her, chin lifted just a little, as if she could shield her sister from whatever was happening. Both girls looked up at their parents with wide, curious, and cautious eyes.
Her voice was soft but steady. “Um…I’m thirsty,” she said. “And Maya…she couldn’t sleep.”
She tilted her head, studying them with the blunt honesty only a four-year-old could manage. “Are you yelling?”
The words hung in the room, simple and unguarded. For a moment, everything else, the frustration, the raised voices, faded away.
Nina walked over to the girls, bending down so she was eye-level with both of them. “No, baby, we weren’t yelling. We were just talking.”
Zora frowned. “But you and Daddy were kinda loud…didn’t sound very nice.”
Nina opened her mouth, then closed it again, unsure how to respond.
Awan knelt beside her, his voice gentle as he addressed their daughter. “Zora, your mama and I were talking, but you’re right. Our voices got a little loud…and we weren’t very kind with our words. And we’re sorry about that.”
She looked up at both of them, “So…you and Mama are still best friends, right?”
Awan smiled softly and reached out, taking both Zora and Maya’s hands in his own. “Mama is still my best friend…forever.”
He glanced at Nina, his eyes warm and steady, a silent reassurance passing between them. Nina returned his gaze and rested a hand on Zora’s small shoulder, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. “Always,” she whispered.
Looking satisfied, Zora nodded. “Hmm, okay…maybe you two will hug later. That’s what my friends do when we get mad at each other.”
Awan offered both girls a reassuring smile. Maya stepped closer to Nina and held out her teddy bear. “Here, Mama” she said in her sweet, soft voice.
Nina took it, hugging the worn little bear against her chest and then she pulled the toddler into an embrace. “Oh, Maya…thank you.”
“I’ll get them some water and get them back into bed,” Awan said, standing and gently scooping both girls into his arms. Nina rose with them, and he turned toward her. “Now say good night to Mama.”
They murmured their goodnights as Nina kissed each of them on the cheek. “Okay, babies. See you in the morning.”
Awan carried them out of the room, heading downstairs toward the kitchen.
Left alone, Nina sat on the edge of the bed, still holding Maya’s teddy close. She let out a long, heavy sigh. She and Awan didn’t disagree often, but when they did, it was never this heated, and never in front of the girls. She didn’t like it…and she knew Awan didn’t either.
When Awan returned to the bedroom alone, the room was quiet, the soft hum of the evening settling around them. He leaned against the dresser, taking a slow breath.
After a long pause, he finally spoke. “Nina….I know we will continue to disagree sometimes… but I…” He hesitated, searching for the right words. “…I can’t have us fighting. Raising our voices. I just…I can’t have that in our home. Especially not in front of our girls.”
Nina looked at him, her own chest easing as she took in the quiet intensity in his eyes. The weight of his words, the care behind them, settled over her like a warm, steady hand.
“I told you before…how I grew up,” Awan said, his shoulders seeming to sink a little as the words left him. His voice dropped, threaded with something distant. “I refuse for that to be Zora and Maya’s childhood.”
Nina nodded, remembering vividly what he had told her back when they were still just partners at the Bureau. She remembered the late-night stakeout when she had asked what got him so into comics, and he had explained quietly, almost reluctantly, that it had been an escape, something to help him cope with the hard, painful parts of his childhood.
She could picture the small boy he had been, getting out of his bed late at night, hiding in the closet with a flashlight and a stack of comic books, the muffled arguments of his parents reverberating through the walls. Hours would pass, and all he wanted was a quiet space away from his parents’ fighting…a place where he could feel safe.
He had shared it with her only after he trusted her with the memory, that he never wanted his own children to feel that same fear, never wanted them to witness that kind of conflict.
Awan’s eyes softened as he looked at her. Nina stood up from the bed, stepped forward and without hesitation, he pulled her into a hug. She melted into him, arms wrapping around his waist, letting the tension of the night spill away.
“Okay,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his chest. “We’ll do better…I’ll do better. I promise.”
“We will…Nina…I’m so sorry,” Awan murmured, holding her tightly.
“I’m sorry too,” she said, pulling back just slightly to meet his gaze. “For yelling…and for being stubborn.”
A small, relieved smile curved Awan’s lips. “You’re not really all that stubborn…just strong-willed.”
“Oh yeah?,” Nina laughed softly.
“Yeah,” Awan said, continuing to hold her, his head bowed and nestled comfortably in her hair.
They stood there for a long, quiet moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the last of the tension melt away.
And just outside the door, Zora, having crept out of her bed again, peeped in. She watched her mama and daddy hugging, like best friends do, and smiled.
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