Being a Muslim convert is interesting.
Sometimes, especially regarding Tumblr. There are some times where I’ll be scrolling through my feed, and there are tons of pleas from Gazans, looking to escape persecution and death, and I will be like “Astaghfirullah, those poor people.” I will feel inadequate as a Muslim. Then I will log off.
Then they’ll be another day and I will scroll and someone who doesn’t post in a while has put out a flurry of pictures and video of morbidly obese, immobile people struggling to do basic movements, and I will be like “Astaghfirullah, this is the Dunya. I don’t want to see this.” Then I will log off.
Then there will be times that a mutual that I care about very much who happens to have a sporadic interest in my little pony will put out a raft of pictures of my little pony figurines and collectibles, and I will be like “Astaghfirullah. This is a Dunya. I don’t wanna see this.” Then I will log off.
What I’m trying to say, is that being religious and being surrounded by the secular world which runs the gamut from models in swimsuits, to the works of Virginia Woolf to my little pony figurines, to holding down a regular 9 to 5 job. It’s interesting that that world just keeps on churning but sometimes I feel closer to Allah and that world just seems like an ice cream flavor that I’m just not in the mood for. Sometimes it’s tempting. It doesn’t change, but my relation to Allah changes. It’s why I always like to say that the world of the Dunya and the world of the pious Muslim are going in opposite directions, and you can’t follow both paths at once, because turning towards Allah means turning your back on all of it even the stuff that seems harmless, but turning towards that stuff, that may seem harmless does mean that you are turning your back on Allah. I don’t like to talk about religion too much because I don’t know if I’m very good at it but that’s just my feeling on being religious in a non-religious space. I don’t know if other people can relate to this.
