#the empyrian

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 15

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag list: @lauraashley93 @riotbound

It's been two days since we arrived at the Montserrat front. We spend our mornings walking through the fortress, and after lunch, we discuss different strategies in case of an invasion until an hour before dinner.

This should interest me, but it doesn't hold my attention in the slightest. And I feel guilty about it. The next two years will pass in the blink of an eye, and then I'll be a graduated rider, assuming I survive those two years. And it worries me that I can't think of anything but Liam Mairi.

Damn, why do feelings have to be so complicated?

The bedroom door slams shut and Nadine stomps over to her bed without bothering to look in my direction, pulling her things out of her bag with clear dissatisfaction. It's almost comical.

Our first night sleeping in the same room was a nightmare. I couldn't sleep at all, and incredibly, it wasn't because of Liam. It was because Nadine kept grumbling and shifting positions for almost an hour, and then she simply sat up and started complaining out loud about how unfair it was that they didn't let her choose which room to stay in.

I just stared at her, waiting for her to finish, which only annoyed her more.

Nadine reminds me a lot of Luca. The difference is she has some sense.

Before she can start complaining again, I jump off the bed and leave the room. It's still a bit early for dinner, but I think Ridoc and Sawyer won't mind if I kill time in their room.

On my way there, I pass Violet and Rhiannon whispering quietly. They smile, greeting me with a nod, and quickly head into their room. I raise an eyebrow, finding their haste strange, but I don't question it and continue on my way.

Not far ahead, a trio of riders enters the corridor. I step aside to make way, leaning against the wall, and they give me sideways looks as they pass. I had forgotten how uncomfortable that is.

In Basgiath, everyone is already used to the marked ones, which doesn't mean they like us, but the discriminatory looks are less frequent now. But no marked one has graduated yet, meaning there are no marked riders outside of Basgiath. The older generations aren't used to us, they still see us as a threat.

I shake my head and start walking again. Thinking about this won't make me feel better.

A few meters later, I stop in front of the room the boys are sharing and knock on the door. Ridoc opens it and smiles.

"Trade rooms with me, please." I pretend to be suffering, dramatically placing my forearm on my forehead.

"And put up with Nadine? No, thanks." He gives me space to enter.

As soon as I step inside,the first thing I notice is Sawyer sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless and running his hand through his hair. Ridoc enters my line of sight, and only then do I realize he's also shirtless. I raise an eyebrow, shifting my gaze between them.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Sawyer's eyes widen.

"No."

"Yes, we were just about to hook up when you knocked." Ridoc grins sideways, sitting on his own bed.

"Gods save me." Sawyer shakes his head and goes to the small mirror on the wall, fixing his hair.

"I can't believe you're rejecting me like this." Ridoc puts his hand on his chest, pretending to be offended.

I roll my eyes, already smiling too. I decide to join in on the teasing.

"I can come back later. And you can finish... whatever you were doing."

"We weren't doing anything." Sawyer blushes.

"Then why are you so nervous, Sawsaw?" Ridoc teases, leaning on an elbow. "It looks like we really were doing something."

"Sawsaw." I repeat with a laugh. Ridoc's "affectionate nicknames" are nothing new, but he always finds a way to make them funny.

Sawyer looks at us over his shoulder. Not angry, just bored.

"Very funny, Lyribug." He scoffs, putting on a shirt.

I ignore it and sit next to Ridoc, taking off my jacket and tossing it behind me.

"One of you really needs to swap rooms with me."

"Weren't you the one who said men and women aren't allowed to share rooms?" Ridoc teases, raising an eyebrow.

"As if you cared about that." I slap his arm. "Nadine would love to have one of you in her room."

"You should go, Sawyer. She's kinda cute." Ridoc smiles, adjusting himself to lie on my lap. Automatically, I play with his hair.

"I don't think so..." His words die when he turns to us.

Sawyer raises an eyebrow at Ridoc, lying comfortably with his head in my lap, and looks at me with a silent question.

"He's just like that." I shrug.

"She's comfy." Ridoc explains, shifting to his side.

Sawyer blinks, confused, but doesn't comment.

We talk until dinnertime, laughing and making silly jokes. It's in these moments that I feel lightest, away from all the chaos that has been haunting me. And it's one of the reasons I would give anything to ensure my squad isn't taken from me, along with everything else.

Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ

After dinner, Violet and Rhiannon rush out for the second time today. They must think they're being discreet, but it's obvious they're up to something. But no matter how curious I am, I'd rather stay out of trouble tonight.

I spend another hour talking with the boys before heading to my room. Nadine doesn't even bother to hide her grimace when I enter.

"You're quite noisy," she comments.

"And you snore," I retort without looking at her, going straight to get my pajamas from my bag.

She huffs and turns to face the wall, pulling the sheet up to her waist. I almost sigh with relief that she decided not to argue.

I sit on my bed and take off my boots to change, and only then do I realize I'm not wearing my jacket. I search inside my bag but can't find it. I must have left it in the boys' room.

Despite the sleepiness, I put my boots back on and leave. It's just a matter of grabbing my jacket and coming back. It'll be quick. Or at least it should have been. But a tall, broad figure enters the corridor, droplets of water dripping from his hair glisten under the magical lights, and his sharp jaw tenses when his blue eyes rest on me.

I should have learned by now that leaving my room in the middle of the night is never a good idea. But here I am, in the middle of the night, face to face with Liam Mairi, fresh from the shower.

I really didn't want to run into him now. I don't even know what to say to simply pass by him without having to start a conversation that I know will be awkward, because it seems like nothing gets resolved. It feels like something is missing for us to understand each other.

"Lyra." He takes a few steps closer, trying to seem relaxed, but it's clear he's tense.

"Liam, not now..."

He interrupts me.

"I was a coward," he says bluntly. "You told me you'd rather have one day with me than a lifetime of 'what ifs,' and I said I couldn't risk it. That Basgiath was already killing enough people. That I couldn't bear to lose you." He swallows hard, his voice faltering a bit. "But I lost you anyway. Only this time it was worse, because I was responsible for it, even though you're still alive." He takes another step closer but doesn't touch me. "I thought I was protecting you. But I was only protecting myself from the fear of loving you and losing you. From the fear of being happy for a while and then having to bury you. From the fear of feeling something so big that, if it ended, it would destroy me."

He takes a deep breath, as if the words hurt. My eyes well up, but I blink the tears away.

"I was wrong. And the worst part is, I knew I was wrong. Every time I saw you in the hallway and looked away, I knew. Every time you smiled at Ridoc and I pretended it didn't hurt, I knew. But I couldn't stop. I can't." He lowers his head.

The revelation shocks me.

Silence falls again,but now it's different. Less cutting, more contemplative. It's fragile, but it's a start.

"Why didn't you say before that you still loved me?" My voice comes out low, almost a whisper, but enough to make the air between us tremble.

"Because I thought you were better off without me." He speaks too calmly for my taste. "Ridoc... he's good for you. You smile more when you're with him. You two seem... happy."

The world stops.My entire body freezes, as if someone poured ice into my veins. Ridoc? He thinks Ridoc and I...? Now it all makes sense. That's the missing piece.

Liam interprets my silence as confirmation. He takes a step back with a forced smile.

"I get it. I won't get in the way."

He turns to leave. Panic hits me like a wave. No. Not again. My hand flies out and grabs his wrist. The grip is too strong, almost desperate. He stops, surprised, and stares at me.

"No." The word comes out hoarse, almost a muffled shout. "There's nothing between me and Ridoc. Never was. He's my friend. My best friend. He's practically a brother. That's it."

Liam blinks, processing.

"Garrick is too, and you still dated."

"That's different!It was just teenage curiosity!" I loosen my grip on his wrist a little. "Nothing more than that."

His blue eyes widen slowly, as if he's seeing something for the first time.

"Lyra..."

"I tried," I continue without letting go, my voice trembling. "I tried to move on. I tried to hate you. I tried to forget. But I can't. I still..."

My words die in my throat. I release his wrist, but he doesn't move. He stays there, looking at me as if I'm the only thing in the world. And then, without thinking, he cups my cheeks and leans in, and his lips find mine. It's urgent. It's hungry. It's as if all the months of silence, of pain, of distance, have been condensed into this one kiss.

My hand instinctively goes to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He holds me by the waist, as if afraid I might disappear. His taste is familiar and new at the same time. Salty from tears neither of us realized were falling. Warm. Alive. When we pull apart, breathless, he rests his forehead against mine. His eyes are closed, but there's a small, almost disbelieving smile on his lips.

Someone clears their throat beside us, and we jump in surprise.

From the shadows, my brother emerges with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. Liam lets go of me as if burned and takes two steps away from me. I stand frozen and wide-eyed, feeling my face heat up.

"Do you mind explaining?" Xaden doesn't sound angry, but his look at Liam is more frightening than any threat.

It's no wonder I never tell him about my love life.

Damn.

[ariessential]

Started Iron Flame. "Anticipation is a good thing" my ass

[azrielsshadows42]

Onyx storm spoilers

So, you know when we thought Ridoc was stabbed, and then we realized he wasn't, and we all collectively let out a breath?

Yeah, so what if that is just some foreshadowing and in the next book, he actually DOES get stabbed, and while he lays there bleeding, he looks down at the hole and says

"Damn it. I hate sewing"

While Violet or someone else from the squad is crying at his side, trying desperately to stop the bleeding and promising him that they'll sew every piece of clothing he has as long as he just survives

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 19

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag list: @lauraashley93 @riotbound

Today is 22 May.

Today is the first battle of the War Games, and my nerves are stretched thin. There are no rules for eliminating opponents. Anything goes as long as we’re in the air, and the bitter taste of a bad feeling floods my mouth. But that’s not the only thing worrying me.

All the squads are heading toward the graduation courtyard, where we’ll receive instructions about what our mission will be in today’s battle. I glance over my shoulder for the fifth time since leaving my room, making sure all my friends are still nearby and unharmed.

When my eyes land on Ridoc, I expect him to give me a thumbs-up or something like that, but he looks away and starts talking to Sawyer instead.

I frown and face forward.

"Is he still acting strange?" Liam asks.

I nod, and a sharp ache in my chest makes my heart hurt.

For the last three days Ridoc has barely spoken to me, and today he hasn’t said a single word. It’s as if he’s been avoiding me, which caught me completely off guard since nothing different happened and he has never acted like this before.

"I can talk to him," Liam suggests. I notice he’s fiddling with something in his pocket again. It’s the third time he’s done that.

"No. I’ll deal with it myself."

My body temperature rises, especially in my hands, but I take a deep breath and calm down.

"Focus on one thing at a time. First the exercise, then talk to him. Everything will be fine." He tries to reassure me. I resist the urge to take his hand.

"Something is going to go wrong today. I can feel it."

"We feel that every day. That’s just anxiety talking."

His calm voice only makes me more agitated.

"Promise me you’ll be careful," I say while still looking ahead, clenching my fists to smother the sparks escaping between my fingers. "If you get hurt, I’ll burn your hair off."

He chuckles quietly.

"Yes, ma’am."

We’re almost at the atrium, and it feels like my heart might jump out of my mouth. As the squads begin to split apart, someone grabs my shoulder and pulls me back. My back collides with something solid, and automatically fire escapes between my fingers, flaring like a pair of torches.

Cold hands spin me around and grab my wrists.

I relax.

"It’s me." Ridoc lowers his head to meet my eyes, a faint smile on his lips, and frost spreads over my wrists until the flames die out.

"I told you not to scare me like that." I cross my arms. He laughs and releases my wrists.

"But then it wouldn’t be fun." Ridoc takes a step back, his smile slowly fading. "We need to talk."

"I agree. Meet me later and we can—"

"No, Lyra. Now."

My eyes widen slightly in surprise. His face is serious, and that’s always a strange sight to me.

"Rid, I really want to figure out whatever is going on with you, but the War Games start right after graduation. There’s no time—"

"With me?" He interrupts, clearly irritated, crossing his arms. My heart jumps. "What happened to you? Even after everything that happened between you and Liam, it’s like you just forgot all of it and ran back into his arms at the first chance!"

My eyes widen and my voice catches in my throat, too surprised to respond. The last time Ridoc yelled at me, he was saving me from the most embarrassing situation of my life.

Suddenly I realize the corridor is empty. Everyone has already gone to formation. There’s no one here but us.

I clear my throat.

"What do you mean?" I ask slowly.

Ridoc sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I didn’t want to say anything at first because you’re clearly happy with him, but I can’t anymore. I need to understand. You suffered so much because of him. You literally ran to me in the middle of the night begging me to—" His voice falters and he sighs, looking down.

I swallow hard.

"You cried against my chest on the corridor floor. You lost the strength to keep going, and for a while I was afraid of…" He hesitates, then looks up again. His hand finds mine, covering it with the cold of his signet. "Afraid of losing you."

My breathing falters. I lower my gaze, trying to find the right words. But he speaks first.

"And then, overnight, you showed up holding his hand." His hand slides to my wrist, his thumb tracing gentle circles. "Don’t you think you forgave him too quickly?"

"So that’s what this is about?" I let out a short, dry laugh. "Forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting, Ridoc. I remember everything. I just chose to move on. And I’m happy."

Ridoc lets out a humorless laugh.

"Happy." He repeats the word like he’s testing its taste. "So you really don’t think about the past for even a second when you’re with him?"

Heat crawls up my neck. His hand grows colder than usual around my wrist.

"And what exactly did you want me to do, Ridoc? Cry forever?"

"No." He rubs his face, frustrated. "I wanted you to have… thought about it more."

"Thought about it more?"

I step closer.

"You think I didn’t think about it? You think I just woke up one day and decided to run into his arms?"

"Maybe he’s not the right guy!" he raises his voice again.

Now he’s gone too far.

"That’s enough!" I yank my arm away. Heat rises uncontrollably through my whole body. "You act weird around me for days and then suddenly drag me into a corner to say you don’t like my relationship with the man I love! And now you say something like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ridoc takes two steps back, staring at me in shock, but the surprise quickly fades into something more restrained.

"Someone had to say it." His tone is low, calm again. "We just think it’s strange that even after everything, you still gave him another chance. We were worried-"

"We?" My brows knit together. "The others think the same way you do?"

Ridoc sighs and looks down. I let out a breath, too indignant and irritated to keep this conversation going.

I walk past him toward the exit. Stubborn flames slip between my fingers and I clench my fists to hold them back. It’s the only way I’ve found to contain them. I need fresh air if I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.

But Ridoc doesn’t give up and runs after me.

"Lyra, please, listen to-"

When he grabs my arm, I whirl around in anger and fire bursts out, forming a barrier between us. It disappears quickly, but it’s enough to make him step back.

I see the fear in his eyes, and guilt begins to replace the storm of emotions squeezing my chest.

Before things can get worse, I run.

Great way to start my birthday.

When I reach the courtyard, the formation has already ended and everyone is heading toward the flight field. As I approach my squad, which is still gathered together, I avoid eye contact. Even though they don’t say anything out loud, I feel judged and… betrayed. Not because they have an opinion about my relationship, but because they never came to talk to me about it if it worried them so much.

Soon enough, they start heading toward the flight field as well.

"Are you okay?" Liam asks when I stop beside him. I don’t know how to answer that.

"Just… tell me what our mission is for today’s battle."

"Whatever happened, you can tell me…" He gently lifts my chin and takes my hand. His gaze drops, and his eyes widen, his face hardening.

Confused, I follow his gaze. On the wrist he’s holding there are flakes of ice and purple marks. It’s the same wrist Ridoc was gripping earlier. But the marks don’t look like pressure bruises. They look like ice burns.

I was so angry I hadn’t even noticed.

Liam studies the mark slowly and carefully brushes away the flakes of ice, as if touching it might hurt me more. Then he looks straight toward the courtyard entrance. Over his shoulder, I see Ridoc approaching.

"He did this?" Liam’s tone sounds more like a statement than a question.

"It was an accident. We were arguing…" I say carefully. "It was nothing."

Liam starts walking toward Ridoc. Immediately, I step in front of him to block his path.

"No," I say. "Let it go."

"He hurt you." His voice is serious. Scary serious. I place my hands on his chest. Not that it would actually stop him, but I’m not letting him start a fight because of me.

"I already said it was an accident. He would never really hurt me. And you know that." I hold his face and repeat, "Let it go."

Liam exhales sharply but takes a step back.

"Thank you. Come on."

I take his hand and pull him along to follow the squad. When he finally gives in and follows me, I glance over my shoulder at Ridoc, who’s still walking toward us with his eyes fixed on me.

I expect him to look away like before.

But he doesn’t.

This time, I’m the first one to break eye contact.

Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ

The wind cuts across my face as Ithearrach maintains a steady flight over the valley. The bad feeling that something is going to go wrong rises in my throat like bile, so much so that I barely paid attention to Liam’s brief explanation about what our mission is.

My eyes are fixed ahead, where his red scorpion-tail carries him farther away. Liam leans over Deigh’s neck as if he were born to be there, his wings beating in a powerful rhythm. Even from a distance, I can recognize the line of his shoulders, the firm way he holds the reins.

My stomach twists again.

"Focus on the exercise, human." Ithearrach’s voice cuts through my mind like thunder. "You are flying, not sightseeing."

I straighten immediately.

"I'm paying attention," I try to defend myself.

"Liar."

I cross my arms for a second, annoyed, but grab onto his spines again when he swerves, following Aotrom and Feirge.

"We’re falling behind," I comment.

"We wouldn’t be if you were holding on properly."

I huff and lean forward, and Ithearrach instantly responds, adjusting his flight to regain our place in formation. The wind shifts as we climb a little higher, and the world below turns into a mosaic of mountains, rock, and shadow.

My eyes flick forward for just a second, searching for Liam, but I don’t see him. Ithearrach releases a mental grumble that vibrates through my chest.

Unbelievable. His irritation ripples through our bond. Your excessive focus on Deigh’s rider is hindering us. He can take care of himself. Forget him for at least one minute and pay attention!

Before I can react, his massive body goes rigid and he abruptly changes direction.

"What-"

The sky explodes in light and heat wraps around my body, burning my lungs as I gasp for air, followed by a blast of fire that blinds me.

"Ithearrach!"

Without answering, he dives without warning and the world plummets. My hands slip from his spines and I roll over the hard, jagged surface of my dragon’s back, barely managing to grab hold before reaching his tail. My stomach leaps into my throat as the wind screams in my ears. When I lift my head, still trying to regain my balance, I see the source of the attack.

An orange mace-tailed dragon slightly smaller than Ithearrach flies above us, its scales glowing like burning copper as it dives to attack again.

With a quick movement, I get up and run back toward the saddle, trying not to trip on the spines. Just before I manage to sit, the heat of another jet of fire comes from above.

"Hold on!"

It’s the only warning I get before Ithearrach makes a sharp turn to dodge the attack and turns up to face our aggressor. I barely have time to grab on.

The impact of his jaws clamping onto the orange dragon’s neck throws me off balance, and I wait for blood to gush beneath his teeth, but he only shakes it and releases it. My hope that the scare would drive it away disappears when it roars and attacks us again, even though the rider on its back looks utterly terrified.

"It seems very determined to bring us down!" I shout through the mental bond, ducking as the enormous orange jaws snap close to me.

"She has her reasons." he replies, dodging a swing from the mace-tail.

She?

An orange female dragon, aggressive and determined, trying to bring my dragon down at all costs, and he isn’t responding with lethal blows?

I can only think of one reason for that.

"Is she…" I hesitate. "Your ex mate?"

Ithearrach only roars and goes back to defending himself. Knowing him the way I do, I already have my answer. He’s just too proud to admit when I’m right.

That’s why he didn’t break her neck when he had the chance.

Another blast of fire forces him to twist in an almost impossible way before striking his dagger-tail against the side of her snout. Despite the force of the blow and the cut it leaves, it’s not enough to make her stop.

"We won’t survive if you don’t actually attack her!" I shout, even though I know he hears me perfectly.

A loud crash of something massive colliding with the mountain distracts me, and by reflex I search for the source. The giant black dragon of Violet diving through the air is the first thing I see, and far below them something is falling.

No.

Someone.

Desperately, I search for Deigh and find him crashing into an orange dragon against the mountain, making the same deafening sound again. My heart skips a beat when I realize there is no rider on his back.

Ithearrach roars as he defends himself from another attack, but even that can’t pull my eyes away from Violet and Tairn diving after Liam. They’re too far away.

They won’t reach him.

An impact against my dragon’s chest throws me out of place and I end up hanging from the side of his neck, barely clinging to the spines. I try to climb back up, but the orange dragon attacks again, biting into Ithearrach’s neck this time, just below the jaw, and twisting.

My hands slip.

I fall backward, the wind screaming in my ears. I watch the orange dragon savagely bite into Ithearrach’s neck and he releases a sharp, agonized roar. When she shakes her head, blood sprays everywhere.

Then, for the briefest moment, time seems to stop. I can’t breathe and my lungs burn. But the feeling passes and reality crashes back in. Panic takes hold when I realize I’m in free fall and Ithearrach won’t catch me.

Tears slip from my eyes, whether from the wind or the pain of reality I can’t tell.

I’m going to die on my birthday… how tragic.

It was good while it lasted.

"Ithearrach." I manage to reach him, which means he’s still alive, but the pain from his wounds is almost physical inside me. "Thank you." I close my eyes. "Thank you for choosing me, for giving me the honor of being your first rider. For-"

"No." He interrupts. "It is not your time, little one. We are not dying today."

Something hits the side of my stomach and wraps around half my body, leaving only my arms and head free. I open my eyes, startled to see a brown dragon carrying me.

Then I’m thrown upward and spin through the air before slamming onto its back. No. Onto the rider mounted on it.

I cough, breathless, propping myself on my elbows to lift my head. Beneath me, Ridoc is grimacing with his eyes shut, rubbing his head. Groaning in pain, he opens his eyes and his expression softens. Only then do I feel his hand on my waist, and suddenly everything he said earlier today comes rushing back.

My eyes widen and I sit up.

"Thank you." I clear my throat, turning forward.

Ridoc sits behind me with a warm sigh that sends shivers down my neck and places his hands in front of my thighs, fitting perfectly against my body.

"You might be a stubborn idiot," he murmurs far too close to my ear, "but you’re our stubborn idiot."

Surprisingly, there’s no smile on his face. Ridoc is serious, focused, and for some reason… that makes my heart stir.

A sharp pain shoots through my chest and I bend forward, gripping the fabric covering it. But there’s no wound on me. The pain isn’t mine. As if hearing my thoughts, Aotrom turns and takes us straight toward where Ithearrach is still fighting his former mate.

"Take me closer!" I shout, whether to Aotrom or Ridoc, I don’t know.

The brown sword-tail attacks the orange dragon, forcing her to release my dragon’s neck. While she’s distracted, I run along Aotrom’s neck and jump onto her back, wrapping an arm around her rider’s neck.

He pulls a sword from its sheath and tries to strike me, but the angle keeps the blade far from hitting me.

"Make her stop!" I shout, tightening my hold on his neck. "Or you’re both going down!"

The rider drops the sword, letting it slide away, and grabs my arm with both hands trying to break free. My legs nearly give out when the orange dragon lands a powerful blow against Aotrom, and before I can recover the rider throws me backward.

I grab the spines just as he turns to face me, still crouched. Carefully standing, I pull a dagger from its sheath.

"She can’t win against two dragons!" I warn, trying to avoid a fight I know I won’t win.

He seems to consider my words, his expression torn between anger and desperation. He opens his mouth to speak, but Ithearrach’s massive jaws close over him, swallowing him whole and biting down on the orange dragon’s neck as well. Blood sprays over me and she roars in pain.

My stomach churns.

"Get out of there." he urges.

Snapping out of my trance, I run toward Ithearrach’s head and climb up, ignoring the dark red liquid covering his snout. Once I’m seated, he attacks her wing, robbing her of any chance of flying.

Then he releases her.

The orange dragon’s body plummets at terrifying speed as she struggles to beat her injured wing, but it’s useless. The crash when she hits the ground rattles my bones, quickly overshadowed by an even louder crack of lightning striking the tower atop the mountain.

But I barely think about it.

All I can think about are the bite wounds and the blood running down my dragon’s neck.

"Let’s land." I demand, already expecting him to protest, but he just does as I said.

Over my shoulder, I glance one last time at Ridoc, but he’s already flying away. I sigh and lean forward as Ithearrach begins flying down.

The landing is abrupt and uneven, followed by a groan of pain. He’s breathing heavily, mouth open, head hanging low. The bleeding has slowed, but the wounds could still become infected.

"Maybe a mender could help," I suggest, stroking his scales.

"I will not allow some random human to touch my wounds," he growls. "I will be fine."

I jump down from his back. As I step away, I notice a bite mark on his snout and three large claw marks stretching from the base of his neck to halfway down his belly. At least they aren’t as deep as the wound on his neck.

That dragon really wanted to kill him. And in the end...

"She will live, but she will never fly again." he clarifies, but I can't tell if that conforts me. It was because of me that he had to hurt the dragon he once loved... or maybe still loves.

"I’m sorry," I murmur, stroking his leg.

"I am not," he grunts. "She crossed a line when she tried to send my rider to her death."

A small smile forms despite myself.

"Now go see your beloved."

Gods. Liam. I’d forgotten about that.

I run toward the others, passing several riders along the way. They all stare at me wide-eyed, but I ignore them and head straight for my squad. Their jaws drop one after another as they turn toward me.

"Where’s Liam?" I ask immediately, anxiously waiting for an answer. But there's someone else missing. "And where’s Violet?"

Rhiannon points her thumb over her shoulder without taking her eyes off me. In that direction, I see Tairn folding his wings around Violet as she crouches on the ground, maybe about to throw up. At least she’s alive.

"Liam is in the infirmary," Rhiannon says, still looking me up and down, looking shocked. "But I think it’ll take a while before they allow visitors."

"Why? What happened to him?" My heart pounds violently in my chest. Before she can answer, Sawyer interrupts.

"What happened to you?" he asks, almost frightened. "You’re covered in blood from head to toe. Literally."

I frown and raise my hands.

They’re completely covered in dried blood.

Looking down, I notice my clothes are in the same state, and I can only imagine what my face must look like.

"I’m fine. It’s not mine." I leave out the part about it belonging to a dragon. "Now what happened to Liam?"

"Jack Barlowe attacked him," Rhiannon begins, "and drove a sword into him."

My eyes widen. I take a step back, ready to run again. Ridoc, who has somehow stayed quiet until now, looks like he’s about to say something.

But I won’t be able to listen to anything until I know Liam is going to be okay.

Before Ridoc can speak, I run off the flight field.

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 18

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag list: @lauraashley93 @riotbound

It’s been almost half an hour that I’m staring at the candle on my desk with my hands raised around it, trying to spark even the smallest flame, but with no success. The only time I managed to produce real fire was by accident, in Montserrat. After that, the only thing I’ve been able to do is raise my body temperature.

"A little more and the candle’s going to get embarrassed," Ridoc jokes, making the squad laugh. I roll my eyes.

"He’s right. This isn’t working. You should try a different approach."

"Like what?" I huff, leaning on my elbows over the desk. "How long did it take you to learn to breathe fire?"

"The fire came naturally when I was a teenager, but that depends on the dragon." He hesitates before continuing. "Some release their first flame a little ahead of time."

A strange sensation runs through the bond and floods my chest. Longing, sadness, and guilt mixed together, but it’s the guilt that takes up the most space. My heart races as images block my vision.

I’m no longer in my room, and my squad is no longer studying on the floor behind me. I’m flying over a burned city, already nearly in ruins, accompanied by an orange dragon to my right and two smaller dragons to my left, one dark green and the other orange. A flock of gryphons flies straight toward us. Three of them attack me, two at my wings and one straight at my neck. The world spins.

Pain explodes in my skull, running down my neck and back. My friends hover over me with confused and worried expressions. I grimace, trying to understand what just happened.

"What...?" I try to speak, regaining my senses.

"You fell off the chair," Liam explains, sliding his arms under my back and knees to lift me.

"And you almost broke Sawyer’s leg," Ridoc adds, positioning himself to lift the chair.

When Liam lifts me off the floor, I see that the back of the chair fell right on Sawyer’s leg. He’s staring at the ceiling, grimacing, and sighs when Ridoc removes the chair.

"You know, I like my legs where they are," Sawyer grumbles, rubbing the spot that took most of the pressure.

"My bad." I rub the back of my neck, not just from guilt but from the pain still spreading there.

"It’s fine." He gives a thumbs-up.

Liam sets me on the bed and sits beside me to examine the back of my head.

"Lyra, what was that?" Violet asks, pulling my hair away from my neck.

"I..." My words die. I don’t know what to say. That was a memory, but it isn’t mine. It belongs to my dragon, not something to be shared. "I think I just lost my balance."

The room falls silent. With my head lowered, I can’t see their faces or guess what they’re thinking. But all that concerns me right now is what that memory means.

"No injuries," Liam concludes, fixing my hair.

"You sure you’re okay?" Ridoc asks, raising a hand with two fingers up. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Uh, six?" I joke. They chuckle softly. "I’m fine. I just need to lie down," I say, dragging myself to the pillow.

Liam tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear before turning his attention back to the squad. I close my eyes. Violet resumes explaining her notes, probably pointing at something in the large book in her lap, and the others try to follow along.

The images still echo behind my eyes. The sky swallowed by winged shadows. The impact. The feeling of loss so violent it nearly tears me in half.

"Ithearrach?" I call, but there is only silence. "You show me one of your memories and then ignore me?"

A low growl rumbles through the connection, and that same strange feeling returns. This time the sadness is heavier.

"It was a battle," he begins, "many years ago, before you were born." There is a hesitant pause. I wait in silence until he continues. "I flew beside my mate... and our daughters."

My eyes widen in surprise and my chest tightens in a strange way.

He... has a family?

"It was a strike against a flock of gryphons that had crossed the borders. We underestimated their numbers and how much they were willing to lose."

I see the smaller orange dragon again, struggling to stay in the air while gryphons attack her.

"Three attacked me at once and drove me away from them," he says, his voice lowering. "My daughter was surrounded and knocked from the sky."

I close my eyes, feeling the guilt cut through the bond like a hot blade. The air grows heavy in my lungs.

"My mate... cut our bond," Ithearrach continues. "Driven by fury. By pain. By grief."

My heart pounds as the pieces fall into place in a cruel way.

"And after that?" I ask, even though I know I won’t like the answer.

"After that, she and her rider threw themselves at the gryphons." A knot forms in my throat. "She survived, but she was never the same again."

Silence returns, and I feel the weight of that story settle inside me.

"What was her name? You daughter." I ask carefully. As far as I know, there’s no law forbidding riders from knowing the full names of deceased dragons.

There is a long pause before he answers.

"Korynth. Her rider called her Koryn," he reveals, flooding the bond with pure longing. "She was proud to have him as her first rider... the same pride I feel now."

My eyes sting with tears and I clutch the sheet tightly. After so long struggling to understand my dragon, hearing that leaves me satisfied with my efforts. It makes me happy.

"I’m proud to have you too." An involuntary smile spreads across my face. "And..." I hesitate. "What happened to your other daughter?"

"She’s with her mother."

I sigh, swallowing the knot in my throat.

"Why did you decide to show me that memory?"

"It wasn’t intentional..." He hesitates. "Today is the day she fell from the sky."

A heavy pain fills my chest straight from my heart, as if I desperately need to scream until my throat burns and cry until my body dries out. But I do none of that.

Hearing my squad’s laughter, I glance briefly at where they’re sitting in a circle on the floor and turn my back to them, pressing a hand over my heart. Even though it isn’t mine, the pain is too much to bear. Silently, I let a few tears slip free.

"I’m so sorry."

I repeat the same words over and over until they lose their meaning.

Even with a family still alive, Ithearrach had to endure all of this alone. It’s unfair that he’s seen as a violent beast by both humans and dragons.

"I didn’t tell you this history for you to pity me." His voice cuts through my thoughts, and all the emotions flowing from him are suddenly blocked.

It’s so abrupt it feels like a knife being ripped from my chest, leaving behind a severe hemorrhage caused by my own feelings. There’s no returning to normal right after all this.

I try to reach Ithearrach, but the shields he’s raised are too strong, and I’m too tired to push past them. Besides, I don’t even know how I feel about what he revealed, and I don’t know what to say to make his pain any less unbearable. So, with my friends’ voices and laughter in the background, I pretend to be asleep until I actually fall asleep.

Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ

I wake suddenly, startled at first, but quickly relax. Having an irritated dragon interrupt my dreams is a new experience and not one I want to repeat. Even though I’m already used to it, Ithearrach’s voice is even more frightening when he shouts through the bond to wake me.

"What is it?" I ask, covering a yawn.

"Your brother wants to see you," he replies curtly.

I frown and glance at the window, just to confirm it’s still night. I must have slept for an hour or two.

"What does he want at this hour?" I grumble, falling back onto the pillow.

"Go ask him in person."

I roll my eyes and sit up.

"Good to know your personality is back."

I start getting dressed. My squad is already gone, probably so they wouldn’t wake me, but I can still feel the lively atmosphere they bring into my life. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Quietly, I leave and walk to my brother’s room. As I pass Ridoc’s door, I hear moans that suggest he has company. I can’t help a sideways smile and an eye roll. Mentally, I wish him good night and continue on.

As I climb the stairs, I wonder what Xaden could possibly want. For someone who always tells me never to leave after curfew, his request is pretty surprising.

When I reach the third-years’ corridor, I don’t even have time to approach his door before a hand covers my mouth and pulls me into the shadows. My first instinct is to draw the dagger at my waist and drive it into my attacker’s thigh, but before I can even reach the sheath, shadows seize my wrist.

"It’s me." Xaden whispers in my ear and releases me.

"You almost scared me to death!" I turn to him angrily, my hand itching to draw a dagger, but I hold back. "What’s so important that you couldn’t even wait for me to reach your room?"

He looks around, seeming rushed, and pulls me to follow him toward the stairway. Again. If I’d known I’d be going down those steps two minutes after climbing them, I wouldn’t have bothered coming.

Xaden leads me to the usual corridor that heads to the flight field, but instead of continuing forward, he stops me and places a hand on the wall. A door opens. My jaw drops. He beckons with a tilt of his head. I blink, compose myself, and step into the tunnel. As soon as we’re both inside, the door closes and my brother lights a magical glow.

"You were right. I got so focused on protecting you that I forgot I don’t control what happens to you. That became even clearer when you set that table on fire." His eyes settle on the scar on my nose. "At first I thought you wouldn’t need my protection, despite our father’s request. But then you fell from the Gauntlet and I..." He sighs. "I got worried."

I narrow my eyes, trying to understand where he’s going with this.

"You didn’t drag me here just to apologize."

"You said you want to prove yourself to me. Well, you don’t have to. But if that’s what you want," he gestures, revealing a backpack hidden in the shadows and picking it up, "we’re making a dagger delivery tonight."

My eyes widen.

"Seriously?"

Xaden nods. I can’t hold back and jump on him, throwing my arms around his neck. He stiffens, his hands hovering awkwardly in the air.

"Thanks, big bro!"

When I pull away, he clears his throat and hands me the backpack. It’s a bit heavy, but manageable. I sling it over my shoulders and follow him through the tunnel. Xaden moves like a feline in the night. I try to copy him, but it’s not my strength.

"The flight field..."

"I’m on my way," Ithearrach interrupts.

"How do you know about this tunnel?" I speak louder than intended and cover my mouth.

"It’s fine. No one can hear us in here," Xaden says without stopping. I sigh in relief. "I found this path shortly after my signet manifested. Just don’t let anyone know about it."

I nod, too excited to contain a wide smile. I still can’t believe I’m going on a secret mission with my brother. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

After a short walk, we reach a different entrance to the flight field. The icy winter wind tosses my hair, tangling snowflakes in the strands. Not far away, four dragons are gathered, two of them already with their riders.

Garrick raises an eyebrow.

"We’re having company tonight?"

"Change of plans," Xaden says, giving that tired leader’s look before turning to Bodhi. "You’re staying here."

Bodhi, already halfway to mounting, freezes.

"What?"

I frown. If neither of them knew I’d be joining them tonight, it means this was a last-minute decision. I glance sideways at my brother, noticing how tense his jaw is, but stay silent.

"We can’t risk being seen in a group larger than three. You know that," Xaden says firmly. It’s the tone of someone who’s already decided. "I’ll carry your load."

Bodhi looks at me, then at Xaden, as if trying to understand the reason for all this. My brother simply raises a hand, waiting for our cousin to hand over his backpack. He huffs and gives it to him.

"Looks like Lyra took your spot," Garrick chuckles.

Bodhi flips him off as he heads back through the same tunnel we came from, kicking snow. Cuir leaves as well.

Xaden looks at me.

"You know this is just for today, right?"

"I know." I nod, adjusting the backpack.

"Good."

Each of us heads to our dragon. I can’t help noticing that Ithearrach landed far from Sgaeyl, and the way they’re staring at each other is anything but friendly. It makes more sense now that I know their past.

"How do you feel?" I ask, stroking his jaw when he lowers his head to my height.

"Hungry." He snorts smoke through his nostrils.

"I didn’t bring chicken today." I walk to his leg. "And that’s not what I meant."

Ithearrach straightens and looks at the sky, raising his shields. I sigh and climb onto his back.

Sgaeyl takes off first, soon followed by Ithearrach and Chradh. Despite the freezing wind cutting across my face, I’m loving every second. For a long time I imagined flying beside my brother on a mission, and now it’s finally happening.

The trip lasts three hours. Xaden and Garrick don’t seem bothered, but my backside feels square and my thighs are numb. How do they manage this?

After a long journey, we land in a clearing near a river. When we dismount, the dragons go to quench their thirst.

"You okay?" I ask, concerned when I notice how quickly my dragon lowers himself to the water.

"I’ve flown farther than this in less time. I’m fine." His tone drips with sarcasm, but the way he nearly submerges his entire snout to drink suggests otherwise.

I decide to leave him alone and join the others, limping slightly after staying in the same position for so long.

"You good there?" Garrick asks.

I nod, adjusting my jacket. I notice the small smile at the corner of his lips and try not to smile too. I know exactly what he’s thinking about the last time he saw me limping, and that time it wasn’t a dragon I was riding.

"So, you and Liam...?" Garrick continues. I confirm with a smile and he throws his arms up. "Finally! You’ve liked him since, what, twelve?"

"I didn’t know you were rooting for us." I raise an eyebrow.

"Of course I was." He ruffles my hair. "After years of putting up with you drooling over him, it was the least I could do."

I huff and push his hand away, holding back a laugh. He’s right, after all. Garrick was the first to realize I had a crush on Liam when we were kids and teased me about it for years. Even after what we had while living in the same temporary home, we stayed friends.

"Focus, you two," Xaden calls. "The fliers are arriving."

Garrick and I position ourselves, one on each side of him. I can hear wingbeats in the distance and see winged silhouettes lit by moonlight, drawing closer. I use the silence to address an important point.

"You decided at the last minute that I could come, didn’t you? Otherwise Bodhi would’ve known I was replacing him," I whisper. His jaw tightens, confirming I’m right. "Why?"

"You’re still a first year without training."

That’s all he says, but I understand. He hesitated for a long time, but despite his worries, he let me come. He just had to leave Bodhi behind in case something went wrong.

I’m glad Xaden is finally trusting me.

A pair of gryphons lands on the other side of the clearing and their fliers approach side by side, stopping a few meters from us. Even though we’re on the same side, it’s my first time meeting them in person and I’m nervous. From the corner of my eye, I study my brother’s posture just to be sure we’re really safe. Since he shows no sign of concern, I try to relax.

"If they make one wrong move, I’ll make a meal of them and their gryphons," Ithearrach growls. I feel his heavy footsteps vibrating through the ground to my feet as he approaches. The fliers grow uneasy.

"You can’t devour a gryphon."

"They taste like chicken and satisfy me more than the ones you bring," he counters, lowering his head until his jaw is level with my shoulder. "The only problem is the feathers getting stuck in my teeth."

"How do you know that?" I frown. He falls silent and growls again.

The fliers exchange a quick glance. The taller one steps forward, keeping his hands visible. Xaden approaches first and hands over his load, followed by Garrick. The flier takes their backpacks and returns to his gryphon.

When he turns to me, my brother gives a short nod, and I understand it’s my turn. My stomach knots, but I slip the backpack off my shoulders and step forward. Ithearrach grunts, uneasy about my proximity to the gryphons, and moves a step closer. The paladins’ gaze weighs on me as I remove the backpack.

The shorter one takes it from my hands and slings it over his shoulder, giving me a small smile. I nod, swallowing the last of my adrenaline. My heart is still racing, but a warm pride spreads through my chest.

We both turn our backs and I return to my dragon. Before mounting, I notice Garrick is already seated and Xaden is watching me beside Sgaeyl. In the dark it’s hard to see clearly, but there’s no disapproval on his face, only assessment. Then he turns to mount.

A gryphon lets out one final cry before taking off. Over my shoulder, I watch them leave. Ithearrach grumbles with satisfaction in my mind.

"I can still eat them if I want."

"Don’t even think about it," I reply, climbing onto his back.

But part of me knows that if he wanted to, no one here could stop him. The hatred he carries for the fliers is far too strong.

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 16

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag list: @lauraashley93 @riotbound

Being caught kissing someone by my brother has always been a fear of mine. Not for my sake, but for whoever might be with me. The only reason Xaden hasn’t killed anyone yet is because the man I was with is like a brother to him.

Last night, we managed to escape any questions because, for some reason, Violet, Rhiannon, and Mira arrived along with Xaden, and Mira sent us back to our rooms before we woke someone up or got caught suspiciously gathered in the hallway.

I’ve been trying to avoid my brother ever since. At breakfast, I sat far from him and kept my head down the entire time, then practically ran to mount Ithearrach when our group went out for the daily flight reconnaissance.

"You won’t be able to avoid him forever," my dragon comments during the flight.

"Not helping," I roll my eyes.

"You should listen to what he has to say, answer whatever you need to answer, and get it over with." He banks sharply, following the dragon leading the formation. "In the end, it’s your life. If you want to be the consort of Deigh’s rider, that’s your choice."

I tighten my grip on his spines. He’s right. It’s my life, and I don’t owe my brother explanations about it. But putting that into practice isn’t so simple.

When we land, I take longer than usual to dismount from Ithearrach. I walk behind the group, and it doesn’t take long before my brother is walking shoulder to shoulder with me. We slow our pace more and more until the group turns down the corridor and leaves us behind.

"Since when are you two together?"

Xaden steps in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I wouldn’t say we’re officially together. We didn’t get the chance to talk about it since someone interrupted us." I raise an eyebrow, mirroring his posture. "Why are you so worried? It’s Liam, after all. Don’t you trust him?"

"Things don’t seem to be going very well between you."

The shadows along the wall move slowly, curling around Xaden’s feet. I stare at them for a moment.

"Have you been spying on us?" My stomach twists at the possibility, and a strange heat consumes my entire body.

"Of course not." Slowly, I lift my gaze to meet his in a silent question. He shrugs. "People talk about what they hear and see, especially when it comes to the marked ones."

"Oh." I force a calm tone. I’m not losing my temper now. "We’re fixing what went wrong. People won’t have anything to talk about anymore. At least, not bad things." He raises an eyebrow and shifts his weight. I shake my head. "Forget it. It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t believe me anyway. You never do."

His eyebrows lift in surprise.

"That’s not true."

"Your actions say otherwise, Xaden. You scold me and ask questions like you’re my father, like I owe you something. But guess what?" I take a step forward. "I don’t owe you anything, least of all explanations about my love life. So stop acting like I’m incapable and get off my back."

He falls silent, staring at me in surprise before scoffing.

"I’m just trying to take care of you."

"Have you ever considered that I never asked you to do that?" Without thinking, I raise my voice, letting my arms drop as my hands clench into fists. Before he can respond, I continue. "Of course you haven’t. You never think about what I want. You never acknowledge how much I’ve improved. This isn’t new! Ever since we were teenagers, you’ve acted like I can’t take care of myself! Are you that afraid that I don’t need you?"

My brother is speechless, frozen except for his eyes, which move quickly over my face.

I tried very hard not to lose my temper, but Xaden seems determined to push every button I have. If what he wants to leave me alone is proof that I can control myself, then that’s what I’ll give him. I take a deep breath and let my hands relax.

"I know you promised our father you’d take care of me, but I don’t need protection. I don’t want it," I explain, calmer now. "If you’re worried, I get it. We’re siblings, I worry about you too. But what you do to me is exactly what you criticize Dain for doing to Violet." His brows knit together, incredulous. "So please, stop."

Before it can escalate any further, I walk past him and head straight for the instruction hall. I hear his footsteps not far behind me, but I don’t turn around.

"Lyrielle," Xaden calls.

I ignore him and quicken my pace. A satisfied growl from Ithearrach echoes in my mind.

When I reach the room, I spot an empty seat beside Violet and hurry to sit down, ignoring the fact that everyone is staring at me.

"Are you okay?" Violet asks quietly. I nod.

I exchange a look with Liam, who’s seated on Violet’s other side, and try to smile, but all I manage is pressing my lips into a thin line. I search the table for Ridoc, but I don’t see him. When Xaden enters, I meet his gaze and keep my chin lifted until he sits. He must be irritated that I took the empty seat beside Violet.

"Consider this is Battle Brief," Mira says, gesturing to the map on the wall.

There’s a grumble from the other side of the table, and Ridoc appears, rubbing the back of his head and righting his chair. Did he… fall off it? That’s why I didn’t see him when I came in. I cover my mouth to hide a laugh.

The meeting continues with Mira explaining a hypothetical situation using small wooden dragons and pins on the map, Xaden and Dain provoking each other, and most of us engaging with questions. Most of us, because I remain silent, sometimes looking at the map, sometimes staring at my brother across the table, constantly turning the dragon that represents me between my fingers. Everyone seems too invested in the exercise to notice my discomfort, even Ridoc. I’m glad for that. It means fewer questions later.

I almost manage to relax.

Almost.

"Any ideas, Riorson?" Mira asks. It takes me a moment to realize she means me, and my prolonged silence leads her to conclude I have no answer. "Seriously? Not even a suggestion? I expected more from a cadet bonded to Cannibal."

I frown, bothered by the name she uses.

"What does my dragon have to do with this?"

"I thought a dragon so ancient, one that never bonded, would choose someone more…" She looks me up and down, and she doesn’t need to finish. I understand.

Violet clears her throat.

"I have one." She takes Xaden’s wooden dragon and hovers it over the castle on the map. "You could stop ignoring the fact that you have an incredibly powerful shadow wielder at your disposal and ask him to darken the area."

"She’s not wrong," Mira agrees, tense.

"Can you do that?" Aetos asks, reluctant.

"Are you seriously asking that?" Xaden shoots back.

"I just didn’t know if you could cover an area that—"

Xaden raises a hand over the table, and the entire room is swallowed by shadows in the blink of an eye. I rest an elbow on the table and prop my cheek against my hand, gripping the wooden dragon with the other, not surprised in the slightest. I try to keep my feelings buried deep, but my heart stirs, and my entire body is consumed by that same heat from before. And this time, it doesn’t go away.

The shadows fade, and they continue debating strategy, but their voices are muffled to me. I massage my temples, trying to focus again, but I can’t. The heat only grows.

Violet must have felt it, because she fans herself a few times before turning to me with wide eyes. I squeeze the dragon tighter, closing my eyes when the heat makes me dizzy.

"Lyra!" Someone shouts.

When I open my eyes again, the dragon is on fire. I blow on it, trying to put out the flames, but they only grow, spreading across the table and over my hands. Everyone jumps back from their chairs. Xaden makes a quick motion with his hands, and shadows cover my arms and the table, extinguishing the fire.

"What the hell was that?" a rider from Montserrat asks, fanning his face.

"I…" I swallow hard.

"She manifested a signet," Liam moves toward me and touches my arm, but immediately pulls his hand back as if burned. And maybe he was. "Are you okay?"

I nod, trying to shake myself out of the shock. I look at my hands, still expecting them to be on fire, but they’re intact. No burns. No marks. Just… heat.

"Is it just me, or did it get hotter in here?" Ridoc says, tugging at the collar of his tunic and fanning himself.

"Get her out of here," Mira orders. "Take her somewhere cooler, preferably away from anything flammable." Not flammable? Practically everything in this fortress is flammable, except the stone walls. "Riorson, Sorrengail, and Aetos, I want to have a word with you. Everyone else is dismissed."

Liam guides me out of the room, his hands on my shoulders, his fingers incredibly cold. I look at him in surprise. He smiles and keeps leading me.

"So, fire?" he says when we reach the courtyard. "It suits you."

I let out a weak laugh, rubbing the backs of my hands.

"My hands caught on fire."

Liam’s smile fades. His touch slides down my arms, leaving a cold trail behind, easing the heat consuming my body. When he reaches my hands, he turns them over to look at my palms.

"Incredible." His thumbs trace a slow path along the lines of my fingers. "No injuries."

Still touching me, small flakes of ice form around his fingers. I’m so surprised that my first instinct is to pull my hands away. Almost immediately, all that heat comes rushing back.

"It’s okay," he reaches out for me again, then stops. "Let me help."

"Don’t touch me." I take two steps back. "I could burn you too."

My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to burst from my throat, and with every beat, the heat intensifies.

"Okay. Then listen to me," Liam lowers his hands.

"Ithearrach," I call.

"Listen to what he’s saying," his voice is calm, but I feel agitation too. And fear. "This is more yours than mine. Now, stay calm."

I nod, more to myself than to him or Liam.

"It’s hot," I wipe sweat from my forehead with my forearm.

"It’s your dragon’s power finally being released. Focus the same way you do with lesser magics. It’s easier if you think of a place where you feel at home."

I take a deep breath and do as he says, though I’ve never had to hold myself together like this before. I think of places of comfort, like the soft grassy fields where Bodhi and I used to ride, the kitchen when the sweet smell of freshly baked chocolate cake filled the entire hallway, my bedroom… that.

I close my eyes and let my arms hang loose, allowing myself to feel safe in my room in Aretia. My books are stacked on my desk, my quiver hangs from the back of my chair, my bow rests against the wall beside my bed. The windows are open, a cool breeze stirring the curtains and cooling my skin. I focus on that sensation.

When the heat begins to fade, I open my eyes.

"Since when do you have a second signet?" I gesture to the flakes in his hands.

"Since January," Liam looks at his hands for a moment. "How do you feel?"

"Better. Thank you."

He approaches slowly, lifting a hand toward my face without touching me. His eyes meet mine in a silent question, and the corner of his lips lifts into a dimple. I nod, and he gently cups my right cheek, tracing the scar with his thumb. I place my hand over his.

"Lyra, about last night..." I tighten my grip on his wrist.

"If you even think about saying it was a mistake or anything like that, I swear I’ll break your nose." His eyes widen slightly before he laughs.

"Actually," he leans in, our noses almost touching, "I was going to say I don’t regret it at all." His other hand settles at my waist. "I want you, Lyrielle Riorson. All of you."

A smile breaks free before I can stop it, and I rise onto my toes. When our lips meet, it’s soft. Careful. Nothing urgent, nothing desperate. The world shrinks until it’s just this: the absurd contrast between the heat growing inside me and the calm way Liam touches me.

When I cup his cheeks, his hands grip my hips and pull me closer until I’m pressed against him. I get lost in his warmth, his woodsy scent, the softness of his lips, the firmness of his hands…

Liam pulls away quickly, removing my hands from his face. I widen my eyes. Where my hands were, red marks bloom, as if burned.

"I’m sorry!" I lift my hands to touch him again, then pull back. I could hurt him more.

"It’s okay, it’s not your fault," he traces the marks with a smile that barely hides the pain. "You’ll get better."

My chest tightens, my heart already speeding up again, but I take a deep breath and rein myself in before I start breathing fire again. Liam smiles and starts to say something, then freezes, his eyes widening slightly.

"The wards are down. A flock of gryphons is approaching. We’re leaving," Ithearrach informs us, and all my self-control threatens to shatter when my heart skips a beat. But I stay calm, for my sake and everyone else’s.

I’m used to seeing the paladins as allies, but right now, they’re definitely not on our side.

"We have to go," Liam grabs my hand, and we run inside.

We reach the rooftop with Dain, Ridoc, and Quinn, and her dragon is the first to perch on the wall. Ridoc turns to me with a half-smile, then to Liam, and his eyes widen.

"What happened to your face? Did she hit you?"

"Long story," Liam replies, running his fingers over the marks again.

Ridoc raises an eyebrow at me in a way that promises questions later and runs toward Aotrom.

"I’m coming. Get ready."

I turn to Liam and squeeze his hand.

"Don’t take too long."

"Deigh is already on the way." He rests his forehead against mine. "I’ll see you in Basgiath."

The beating of wings and the massive shadow that covers us for a moment signal that it’s time to go. I release Liam’s hand and run toward Ithearrach, who is perched awkwardly on the wall due to his size, and mount as quickly as I can.

Before I even reach the saddle, he takes off, the sudden movement nearly sending me falling, but I manage to grab his spines and sit. I glance over my shoulder, and only when I see Deigh already airborne with Liam do I finally relax.

He’s okay. Everything will be okay.

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 20

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag list: @lauraashley93 @riotbound

The smell hits me before I even cross the doorway.

Blood. Crushed herbs. Strong alcohol.

The infirmary is full. Healers and apprentices move quickly between makeshift beds, carrying basins, cloths, and glass vials. Low groans mix with sharp orders and the clatter of metal being set onto trays.

I barely take two steps inside when someone approaches me.

"You need to sit down." A healer grabs my arm gently but firmly. "Let’s check that bleeding."

"Where is Liam?"

He blinks, confused.

"First we need to take care of you."

"I'm not injured." My voice comes out dry. Impatient.

He looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. I don’t stop to find out. I pull my arm free and keep moving, nearly colliding with an apprentice carrying a basin of reddish water.

His eyes widen when he sees me.

"Gods… you’re bleeding!"

"It’s not mine."

I don’t slow down as I pass him and continue scanning every patient. But everything is too chaotic.

Beds fill nearly the entire hall. Riders lie everywhere. Some unconscious, others biting down on pieces of leather while healers press against open wounds or stitch torn flesh. My gaze sweeps over every face, but none of them are his.

Another healer steps in front of me.

"You need immediate attention-"

"Liam." The word comes out short. "Liam Mairi. He was brought here."

The man frowns, clearly trying to remember. Behind him someone shouts for more compresses. I don’t wait for an answer and move past him, following a narrow path between the beds. My heart pounds too hard in my chest. Every face I see makes my stomach tighten.

Blood. Stained cloths. Heavy breathing. But none of them are Liam.

Maybe he’s in another room. Maybe they’re still treating him. Maybe...

"Lyra."

I freeze in the middle of the corridor.

The voice comes from somewhere ahead. Slowly, I lift my head and see Hannah standing at the end of the row of beds. Her red hair is tied back hastily, blood stains her apron, and a bandage is wrapped around her own forearm. She stands in front of a door I’ve never paid attention to before, since it’s always been closed.

Today, it’s open.

As I approach, her gaze quickly passes over my face, then drops down my blood-covered body. Her brows draw together.

"Gods, Lyra…" she murmurs. "You need-"

"Liam."

The word comes out stronger this time.

Hannah sighs quietly, as if preparing herself for something, and tilts her head toward the hallway behind her.

"He’s in there. In the surgery wing."

My stomach drops.

"He’s in surgery?"

"Not exactly." She shakes her head. "The infirmary is overcrowded. We’re using the surgery rooms to gain space."

I swallow.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Hannah hesitates. Just for a second, but I catch it.

"He lost a lot of blood," she finally says. "They’re stitching the wound now."

My gaze drifts to the corridor behind her.

"Can I go in?"

"No." The answer comes immediately, firm. "Not yet."

She steps closer, her expression softening slightly.

"It’ll take a little while. Once they’re finished, we need to observe him before allowing visitors."

I nod slowly, even though every part of me wants to push past her and run inside.

"Alright."

Hannah studies me again, longer this time, and grabs my arm.

"Now you’re coming with me."

I frown.

"For what?"

She gestures at my entire body.

"You’re covered in blood."

"I know."

"And you need treatment."

"I don’t."

"Lyra-"

"It’s not my blood."

Hannah crosses her arms.

"That doesn’t mean you’re fine."

"I am." The words come out sharper than they should, surprising even me.

"Have you even looked yourself in the mirror?" Hannah grabs my shoulders and turns me toward the glass door, where my reflection is visible against the dark wall.

Dry, dark blood covers my forehead and runs down my face and neck. My hair is a mess, and parts of my flight jacket are burned. It almost seems impossible that the person in that reflection is me.

Hannah watches me for a few seconds, clearly deciding whether to insist, then finally sighs.

"At least sit down."

I do without arguing, leaning against the wall beside the door and sliding down until I’m sitting on the cold stone floor.

Around me, chaos still reigns. Sounds of pain. People rushing. Metal clinking against metal. Doctors and students shouting orders to each other. But none of it distracts me from the worry.

Hannah disappears down the corridor, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Spending the day trying not to die has become routine, but it’s different when the person who almost dies is someone you love. And today, both my dragon and my boyfriend came within a breath of being taken from me.

"How do you feel?" I ask before I can stop myself. I need to hear his voice.

"It takes more than a few bites to kill me," Ithearrach replies proudly. "I’m fine."

"Are you still bleeding?"

"No. In two days my wounds will only be memories."

The certainty in Ithearrach’s voice helps me relax. I hug my knees, rest my forehead against them, and close my eyes.

I should go take a bath, change clothes, fix my hair so the first thing Liam sees when he wakes up isn’t someone who looks like they just walked out of a massacre.

The irritating squeak of broken wheels catches my attention. A group of healers, includind Nollon, rushes past with a stretcher, pushing someone beneath a thin blue sheet up to their forehead. I quickly stand so I won’t get run over, and when they pass by me I notice that the person has blond hair.

But it’s not Liam.

I know him well enough to recognize that his hair is brighter, more golden. Besides, Liam is already in there.

Still… it could easily have been him.

If the healers are rushing that much, the case must be serious. A horrible feeling settles in my chest. If Liam’s condition worsens, there probably won’t be anything I can do. But at least I’ll be here with him.

I sit back down on the floor, determined to wait.

I don’t know how much time passes or when I fall asleep, but when I wake, the chaos of the infirmary has faded. Only a few apprentices remain, checking on patients and giving them medication. I try to stand and my whole body protests.

"Good morning."

Startled, I turn immediately, my hand reaching for the dagger at my waist. The sheath is empty. Fortunately, the person standing there isn’t a threat.

A few steps away, my brother leans casually against the wall, balancing a dagger by the tip of its blade on one finger.

"Or should I say, good afternoon?" Xaden continues, handing the dagger to me. My dagger. "Looking for this?"

"How did you-?" I take it from his hand.

"You dropped it during the War Games."

I frown, trying to remember when I could have lost it. I only drew it from its sheath once during the battle, to defend myself against the orange dragon knight. But I didn't actually use it… or even put it away.

"You went back just to look for my dagger?" I raise a brow.

"Actually, Ridoc found it and asked me to return it to you." He crosses his arms. "He seems to care about you a lot."

"Well, he’s my friend." I sheath the dagger and stand, ignoring my body’s protests. "I care about him too."

Xaden nods slowly, scanning the infirmary before looking back at me.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since the exercise ended." I lick my lips, beginning to feel thirsty. "And you?"

"I arrived not long ago." His eyes travel over my entire body. "What happened to you?"

"That’s the third time someone’s asked me that today." I snort, leaning a shoulder against the wall.

"Maybe because there really is something different about you," he suggests, copying my posture. "But what I want to know is how you got covered in blood like that."

"It’s dragon blood." I shrug. His eyes widen slightly before he quickly composes himself. "We got into a nasty fight."

"And we won," Ithearrach adds.

"Barely," I reply.

"But we weren’t the ones who fell out of the sky."

He has a point.

"Your dragon is alright?"

If I didn’t know my brother, I could think he actually cares about Ithearrach’s health. But what he really wants to know is whether he’s in danger of becoming an only child.

"He’s fine," I answer, leaning back against the wall. "What worries me is Liam."

"Enough to sleep on the infirmary floor," he notes. "He’ll be fine."

"I know." It’s what I keep telling myself so I don’t lose my mind waiting out here. "He must already be in observation. We have to thank Violet for saving him."

"I’ll personally thank her later."

I squint at him. The nearly invisible smirk at the corner of his mouth tells me everything.

I laugh.

"Damn, you’re really into her." He gives me a serious look, but that facade doesn’t work on me. "Have fun thanking her."

Xaden raises a brow, shifting his weight as if preparing to respond.

"Lyra."

From the entrance, Rhiannon calls my name and walks over. I meet her mid way.

"Did you spend all afternoon here?" she asks, frowning. I nod. She pauses for a moment before continuing and pulls a piece of paper wrapped with a small string from her pocket. "I found this in Liam's pocket, it has your name on it."

Carefully, I take it, afraid of staining it with blood. My name is written in Liam’s perfect handwriting.

Liam is in the lower left corner, and the string that holds it folded is so thin and delicate that it could easily break.

"I found it when I handed him to the healers. I wanted to bring it sooner, but the infirmary was a mess, and I thought it best to wait."

"You did well." I hold the paper against my chest. "Thank you."

She nods with a slight smile and leaves.

I lean back against the wall and stare at the envelope, gathering the courage to open it. I take a deep breath and unwind the string, but a weight slides along its length and almost knocks it out of my hand. When I adjust it, I notice a small wooden dragon hanging from it.

It isn’t just a string. It’s a necklace.

The piece is small, delicate, but meticulously detailed. The little dragon has its wings spread, neck stretched out, its tail is slightly curved at the tip, and there are no legs on its body. It was clearly designed to hang from a necklace.

That must be what Liam was rummaging through in his pocket this morning. He made it to give me for my birthday.

"It’s beautiful," My brother says quietly, staring the little dragon. "He asked me several times if I thought you’d like it."

"You knew about this?" I ask, surprised.

"He’s been working on it for a while."

I turn the small dragon in my hand.

"I love him so much, Xaden. I don’t know what I’d do if he..." I can’t finish.

Xaden squeezes my shoulder gently.

"Riorson," someone calls from the surgery wing. A doctor stands in the doorway of surgery wing holding a clipboard. Both Xaden and I turned around, his gaze shifting between us. "And Riorson. Liam Mairi is cleared for visitors."

I sigh with relief and hurry to follow the doctor, and quickly my brother's heavy footsteps begin right behind me.

I can see through the glass windows that there are many patients in the rooms, most already asleep, some complaining to the trainees and, of course, staring at me incredulously and even disgusted as I pass by. But I pay no attention. If they are disgusted by blood, they shouldn't even be in Basgiath.

In the last room in the corridor, the doctor opens the door and reveals Liam on a stretcher, bandaged around his abdomen and unconscious. Beside him, Hannah is preparing something in a jar, probably medicine, and gives me a nod as I enter.

Fortunately, there are only two more patients in this room and both are asleep.

"He's stable. Just a few days of rest and he can get back," the doctor explains, his voice low and calm. "Let's leave them alone." He gestures to Hannah and she joins him at the door, taking the jar with her. "If you need anything, we're in the hallway."

"Thank you." I reply in the same tone.

Without hesitating, I approach Liam and stroke his hair, trying to style it the way he likes. I examine the bandages around him and wonder how big the cut is, how deep it was… and how much pain he must have felt.

Xaden stops beside me with his arms crossed and remains motionless. I don't turn to him to see where he's looking, but as quickly as he came, he turns away and starts to leave.

"Are you leaving already?" I frown. Xaden stops. "I thought you were worried about him."

"I knew he'd be okay. I came to see you." He looks at me over his shoulder. "Happy birthday, Lyra."

My breath catches, but I don't show it. The last time he wished me a happy birthday in person was the year our father died.

"Thanks." I clear my throat. "Where are you going now?"

Xaden gives a small smile.

"I'll thank Sorrengail."

With that, he leaves the room. I prefer not to think about how he's going to thank her.

Focusing on Liam again, I notice a small cut just above his eyebrow. I carefully lean down and place a chaste kiss there. When I pull away, he stirs a little and his face contorts, but soon relaxes and he's back in a deep sleep.

I can't help but smile. I pull the sheet up to his neck and rest my hands on the edge of the stretcher, lowering my head. As my body relaxes, fatigue begins to set in and I sit in a nearby chair.

I lean back and stare at Liam for a while. He's alive and he'll be okay, and before I know it, this will all be just a distant nightmare.

I take the letter and the necklace out of my pocket and rest my elbows on my knees. Taking a deep breath, I open the envelope.

“Lyra,

I stared at this paper for a long time before I started writing. Funny how it’s easier to face a battlefield than to try to put certain things into words.

I know I messed up with you. More than once. And I know I may never be able to fix everything. But I wanted you to know that every day I spend by your side is more than I thought I would have after everything that happened between us.

I love you. I think I always have, even when I did everything wrong.

Life in Basgiath will end one day. We will be sent to different places, to different borders, maybe to completely different lives. But I don’t want that to be the end of our story.

I want our lives to keep intersecting. Somehow. Anywhere. No matter where they send us, I will always look for my way back to you. I won't abandon you again.

Happy birthday.

With love,

Liam”

My eyes well up with tears and my hands tremble on the paper. I look at Liam again, lying there, wounded, vulnerable, recently saved from death, and my chest tightens. A lightning bolt snaps me out of my trance and, completely out of control, I cover my face with one hand and cry. Soon, several lightning bolts begin to explode in the sky as all the accumulated panic of this hellish day returns mercilessly.

Happy birthday, Lyrielle Riorson.

[hollyleafheart]

Fire and Ice

Chapter 13

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

It's been a week since my dragon started channeling. But even as powerful as he is, the only lesser magic I've managed to do is lock a door.

I concentrate all my energy and all the power I channel from Ithearrach, raising my hands and moving my fingers slowly, trying to reach the pen on the table with magic and make it levitate. But it stays where I left it, it doesn't even tremble.

I narrow my eyes at it, as if that would intimidate it.

"Come on, move." I whisper, still trying to move it. Nothing.

"Shameful." Ithearrach comments, almost amused. It's been his most recurring tone lately.

"Not now. I'm trying to focus."

"It doesn't seem to be working very well."

Damn it. I wished this class also taught how to raise the shields to block our dragons. It would be very useful now.

"Go find someone else to criticize, will you."

Ithearrach growls through the bond, which sounds more like a laugh, but leaves me alone.

I try to levitate the pen again, but nothing changes.

"Just great." I throw my hands up, frustrated. "If this is a sign of my signet, I can give up now."

"You're looking at that pen like it insulted you." Violet comments quietly, beside me. She's also focused on her own pen, which doesn't seem to have even noticed the effort.

"It's like it did. I've been here for half an hour trying to get it to move and still nothing." I grumble.

Violet laughs, and for a second the room seems lighter. The whole class is in a tense silence, some extremely frustrated, others levitating objects without much difficulty.

"Have you thought about what signet you're going to have?" She asks, starting a conversation while trying the magic again.

"Preferably, something that won't blow my face off." I huff, giving up on moving the pen. "And you?"

Violet makes that face like she's switched to "extremely serious historical information" mode, which is never good for my focus. I almost always get lost when she starts talking about her scribe knowledge, but I never have the courage to ask her to stop.

"I don't know. There are extremely rare seals, levels of rarity that no one has manifested for centuries."

"Like what? Turning onions into gold?" I joke, turning to her and resting my cheek on a closed fist.

"Necromancy."

The word hits the air like a discreet thunderclap. She must be kidding.

"Necromancy, like, bringing people back to life?" I raise an eyebrow. She nods.

"There have only been two necromancers in all of history. Two. And the last one died more than six hundred years ago."

"Is that serious?" I ask, incredulous.

"Yes."

My jaw drops.

I had never heard of necromancy. It seems too surreal to believe that there really was someone with that much power.

"Imagine if there was another one this year." I give a nervous laugh. "It would be iconic."

"Or terrifying." Violet murmurs, then sighs and stares back at the pen.

I lean back in the chair, drumming my fingers on the table. For a while I stare at the fountain pen still in the same place where I left it, then I blow on it and it rolls to the center of the table.

That's the only way I can get it out of there.

"I think I prefer a more common signet, like controlling the air or something." I comment, picking up the pen.

"Well, a signet reflects what the rider needs most." Violet says, crossing her arms on the table and looking at me sideways.

"I can think of some possibilities." Rhiannon says, sat on my other side.

She gives a discreet nod, indicating Liam, who is sitting to Violet's right. My face heats up when I understand what she means.

“I don’t need to have sex,” I whisper, hoping he won’t hear.

But it’s no use. Liam turns his head toward us and raises an eyebrow, a smile spreading across his ridiculously perfect lips. Violet giggles.

“I highly doubt it,” she smiles sideways. I turn to her, frowning. “There was a time when you didn’t even sleep in your own bed anymore because you were busy in other people’s. What happened to that Lyra?”

“She’s taking a break,” I look away, pretending to focus on my pen.

“What about you and Hannah?” Violet asks.

My eyes widen. How does she know? I haven’t told anyone except… Ridoc. Of course.

“It was just a casual fling, nothing more,” I shrug.

"But it expanded your horizons,” Rhi states, pretending to examine her nails.

"Yes, it did." I smile, proudly.

"So that marks on your neck that day weren't from training?" Liam asks loudly, surprised.

"You didn't have to yell it to the whole Quadrant." I joke, looking at him over Violet.

Liam laughs, forming dimples, and the sound is beautiful. Everything about him is beautiful. The way he styles his hair, leaving a few strands over his forehead, his broad shoulders, his deep yet always gentle voice, his lips that always seem to be curved in just the right way, and his eyes… Gods. The way his blue eyes reflect the light in such a captivating way, as if they were

the sky itself on a sunny day… I could stare at them for the rest of my life.

"Girl, close your mouth. You're drooling." Violet says, cutting off my thoughts.

I run my hand over my chin and, indeed, there's a trail of saliva there. Liam is still looking at me with a smirk. I turn around as quickly as I can, feeling my face heat up.

"Relax." Vi pats my shoulder twice. "We won't tell anyone.'We won't tell anyone."

I'm about to tease her about her passionate kiss with my brother in the snow a few nights ago, but Professor Carr, who had given us half an hour to practice lesser magic, clears his throat in front of the class.

A group from the Third Wing continues their attempts to raise their pens, and the professor creates a wall of fire around himself, so bright and hot that my eyes burn, letting it grow until it reaches near the first row of desks, and then the flames disappear as quickly as they came, leaving only their heat smothering the room. There isn't even a burn mark left on the floor.

Now that he has everyone's attention, the professor continues the lesson.

I spend some time processing. That was… terrifying, to say the least. It's just a small sample of what can be done with the channeled power of a dragon.

It's no wonder that venins channel magic straight from the source.

Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ

I pace back and forth, indignant. I sense Ithearrach agitated too, but he remains silent.

In a few minutes, Xaden, Garrick, and Bodhi are leaving for another dagger delivery to the fliers. I was waiting for the right opportunity to ask to go along, and now that my dragon is channeling, it seemed like the perfect time. But of course, my brother wouldn't be easy to convince.

"I can help."

"Lyra, I already told you, your synchronization with your dragon isn't good enough for this mission yet." Xaden explains, rolling up a map on his desk.

"We're ready." I insist.

"I'm sure Ithearrach is, but you…" He interrupts himself with a sigh.

Again, he calls my dragon by name. The name I've never told anyone, but that he knows nonetheless. Unless he snooped through the list of names of the dragons united in this year's Threshing, I can't imagine how he could know.

Keep him talking. I need to keep him talking.

"But I'm not ready, is that it?" I try not to sound offended. "What else do I have to do to prove myself to you?"

Xaden looks at me as if a third eye had opened on my forehead.

"You don't have to prove anything to me."

"Really?" I cross my arms, raising an eyebrow. "So after demanding so much from me in training, telling me several times that I needed to improve my temperament, doubting that I could survive my own dragon, you expected me not to try to prove anything to you?"

He opens his mouth, but I don't let him speak.

"I did everything you asked. The fights? I've been training with Bodhi every night until my muscles ache. My temperament? It's been weeks since I've been in a fight. My dragon? He finally listens to me, and now he's started channeling." I throw my hands up. "I've improved, Xaden. But it seems you don't recognize it." I swallow hard. "Or you don't want to recognize it."

He falls silent, staring at me in surprise, and comes closer to me.

"I never doubted you, Lyra." He holds my shoulders. “I always knew you’d get to exactly where you are.” His eyes land on my right cheek, where the scar Ithearrach made is, and then they move up to the bridge of my nose, where the scar from when I fell from the Gauntlet is. “But we can’t risk it. So far we’ve been lucky not to get caught stealing daggers from the armory and leaving Basgiath, but if something happens, if they find out, I need you to keep going for me.”

He wants me to be a backup? Seriously?

It seems like that’s the purpose of my life. Our parents only had me in case something happened to Xaden that prevented him from becoming the Duke of Tyrrendor, and also to prevent our mother from having to extend the contract with Dad. No one needed to tell me that out loud, it was too obvious.

But now I can avoid that being a backup is my only usefulness.

I sigh, shaking my head, and hold his wrists.

“You know that if any of the marked ones are accused of treason, we’ll have problems, but if you’re accused of treason, we’ll be executed. Let’s not pretend otherwise,” I say calmly. “Either way, we’re taking a risk. So please, let me take that risk by your side. Because it’s by your side that I want to be if things go wrong, not three hours away.”

His hands fall from my shoulders, clenching into fists at his sides. He stares at me the same way he does when he wants to intimidate someone, but that look doesn’t work on me. I grew up with it.

I stare back, trying to match his intensity.

“You have no proper training,” Xaden says slowly. “If we get caught or ambushed, we have a chance to escape, but only if we don't have an inexperienced first year getting in the way."

I scoff, shaking my head.

"If I improve my synchronization with my dragon, can I go?"

"And you don't have a signet ring." He adds, crossing his arms. I copy his pose.

"If I improve my synchronization with my dragon and manage to control my signet, can I go?"

He shifts his weight from one leg to the other and sighs, looking around the room and then back at me. I notice the shadows shifting on the wall, a clear indication that he's agitated, even though he doesn't show it.

"So?" I raise an eyebrow, still waiting for his answer.

"We'll see."

Xaden picks up a backpack from the floor, which I know is full of daggers with runes, and strides toward the bedroom door. He's in a hurry to leave, and I don't think it's just because of the time. He wants to escape the conversation.

But there's something I need to ask.

Before he can turn the doorknob, I run and grab his wrist.

“How do you know my dragon’s name?” I ask bluntly. Enough beating around the bush.

I shouldn’t have to beat around the bush just to ask my own brother a question.

He glares at my hand, but doesn’t move it. Then he stares at me the same way as before, trying to make me back down without using words, but I raise my chin. That look has never worked on me, and it won’t now.

“I never told you that his full name is Ithearrach, or anyone. So, unless you’ve peeked at the Threshing list or can read thoughts and not just intentions, I can’t imagine how you could have found out.”

Xaden sighs heavily and lets go of the doorknob. I release his wrist and cross my arms.

“Sgaeyl told me,” he begins, running a hand through his hair. “Then fight him.”

My eyes widen and my jaw drops. I can't say anything, so I just think.

"Why?"

"Dragons have their reasons. It's not up to you to understand them."

That's his way of saying it's none of my business.

I stare at Xaden.

"Why did it take you so long to tell me?"

"She wanted to keep it a secret." He adjusts the strap of his backpack.

"What made her change her mind?"

"She didn't change." He shrugs. "And she's not happy."

I'm shocked and confused at the same time.

I have so much more to ask, but I know that nothing I want to know depends on Xaden. Maybe he doesn't even have the answers. I should be happy that he went against his dragon and told me the truth, even though I'm very curious about why she wanted it to be a secret.

"Thank you for telling me."

Xaden nods and opens the door, waiting for me to go out first. I walk past him looking down, feeling his gaze on the back of my neck. When I hear the door close, I glance over my shoulder.

"Do you have any other secrets about me that you're not telling me?"

The way his shoulders stiffen, even subtly, suggests yes. But it could just be the anxiety of about to leave to do something illegal, even though I doubt he'd let that kind of thing show like that.

"No."

He replies without looking at me as he walks past me.

Lie.

Xaden may believe he can fool me just like he fools everyone else, that like everyone else I won't challenge him or disagree with him if I think it's necessary. But I know him too well for that. I'm his sister, damn it.

And I can't believe he's lying to my face.

But I'm so tired. Of the day, of classes, of everything. I don't have the strength to approach him now. Besides, he has an important mission to go on and I won't get in his way, even though he just implied that I'd be more useful staying in reserve.

We walk together to the first years' floor, but I don't notice when we separate. He just goes further into the shadows and disappears, and I only realize it when I no longer hear his footsteps.

I hurry past the rooms until I reached mine. I gripp the doorknob of my door harder than necessary, but it is locked. I had forgotten that I had locked it with lesser magic before leaving, proud of being able to use magic.

I move my fingers the same way as before, trying my best to undo the magic, but it doesn't work. Damn it.

I lean my forehead against the door and closed my eyes, gripping the doorknob tightly. I try my best not to freak out, I need to control my temper. Yelling in the middle of the hallway isn't going to help me open the lock.

"Lyra?"

A gentle voice approaches along with heavy footsteps. Soon, there is a source of warmth beside me. I don't even need to look to know who it is.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?" Liam asks worriedly, placing a hand on my back. I feel a shiver run down my spine.

"No." I sigh, slowly raising my head, but I don't look at him. "I locked the door with lesser magic and I can't open it."

He sighs, which sounds more like a chuckle. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the movement he makes with his hand and hear the lock opening. I turn the doorknob and the door opens a crack.

"Thank you."

Before I can pass through the ward, Liam grabs my arm. I glance quickly at his hand before meeting his eyes. Why do they have to be so beautiful?

"We're studying in Rhiannon's room. Well, except for Nadine and…" He pauses briefly, analyzing my face." you.

That explains why Violet isn't with him. The only time he leaves the precious mission my brother gave him is when she's safe with the others.

"So, are you coming?"

There's something different in his eyes, something softer than usual. The hand on my arm is gentle and light, and it makes me feel like I can push it away if I want. I glance at Rhiannon's door, at the light filtering through the small space between the wood and the floor, and consider joining them. But I know that when everyone is gathered at this hour of the night there's more random conversation than actual studying. And I'm not in the mood for either.

"I don't think so." I give a weak smile and push open my door, ready to go in.

"The talk didn't go well?"

I freeze, still with one foot raised off the ground, and give up on taking the next step. My heart clenches and my stomach churns.

Of course he would know I was with Xaden.

I glance quickly to both sides of the hallway. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I pull Liam into my room and close the door. He's the only one I can talk to about this.

"I asked to go with them to deliver the daggers," I begin, gathering the courage to look him in the eyes. "But apparently I'm more useful here, staying in reserve."

"That makes sense."

I turn to Liam, my eyes wide. For a moment, I even feel like breaking that perfect nose.

"Let me explain," he raises his hands. "If anything happens to Xaden, and I mean anything, you're going to lead us." Liam smiles. "It may not seem like it, but the marked ones are watching you. We're counting on you. You're like our secret weapon."

If something happens, they're counting on me.

I don't know if I should be happy or worried about that. But I know Liam only says that to cheer me up, given how much I expressed my desire to sit on the throne of Tyrrendor when we were kids. Ruling the province was a dream I could never fulfill, considering my older brother was always my father's preferred choice for the position.

I don't doubt he loved us equally, but it was always Xaden he called to attend the Council meetings. I only went because I insisted so much, even if I stopped paying attention before I got halfway through.

"He's hiding something about me."

Liam's smile fades, replaced by a furrowed brow.

"He knew my dragon's real name, I don't know for how long now, and only told me today. It's been over a month since the Threshing, Liam. A month." I point out, feeling my whole body heat up with anger. "And then he lied to my face when I asked if he has more secrets that I should know."

"How do you know it's about you?" Liam crosses his arms, serious. "I don't doubt you, but if it is, he must have good reasons to keep it a secret."

No.

He can't be torn between me and Xaden. I can't let that happen.

"Are you defending him?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I don't agree that he keeps so much to himself, especially if it's about you." Liam approaches slowly. "But if it was something you really needed to know, I'm sure he would tell you."

I sigh, wishing it were true, but it isn't.

"No, he wouldn't." I lower my gaze. "He's addicted to keeping secrets."

I think about how many things we're hiding from others. So many things. Venins, Wyverns, the daggers, the paladins, Aretia…

"I think I'm being hypocritical."

"What?" He looks at me surprised.

I walk to the bed and sit on the edge, resting my elbows on my knees and holding my head in my hands.

"For wanting Xaden to tell me everything when we ourselves are hiding things from our friends. Important things that are at this very moment risking every living being on the Continent."

"Hey." He sits beside me and puts an arm around my shoulders, tracing circles on my arm with his thumb. "It's for their own good. We're doing what's right."

Yes. Or we've told ourselves that enough to convince ourselves that keeping dangerous secrets is the best way to save the Continent. It's no wonder Xaden is a born leader, he convinced an entire generation to hide a secret that could kill us all.

But I don't want to think about it. I can't. Or I won't be able to sleep at night anymore.

All I want is to enjoy this moment with Liam. I'm about to rest my head on his shoulder when he clears his throat.

"I need to go." He pulls his arm away. "I can't leave Violet alone."

But she's not alone.

"Of course." I agree, letting my arms fall loosely over my thighs, and look at him. "They must be wondering where you are."

Liam smiles without showing his teeth and goes to the door. But he takes a while to open it.

"Lyra," He turns suddenly and gives a small smile. "try not to lock yourself inside your room. Or I'll have to come save you again."

I laugh.

"No promises."

With one last laugh, he leaves.

Slowly, I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling, thinking about the conversation with Xaden. For now, I need to believe that he has a good reason for hiding whatever secret it is this time.

I really need to.