#the it guy

[randomname3]

Okay im gonna assume(and hope) it didnt happen but it would be so funny if colin just fucking killed sam

[cuddles-with-dragons]

So I'm watching a playthrough of Republic Commando

Me: My favorite character won't be the homicidal one.

Me 1 hour later: ...Fuck.

38: Sev is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.

Sev: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

Sev: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. 38: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

Fixer: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat! Sev: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Scorch, go find out if that thing can catch fire! Fixer: You're a bad influence. Sev: And you don't know your sayings

38, to Scorch and Sev: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Scorch: ... Sev: ... Scorch: That is such an open-ended question. Sev: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

*Delta Squad responding to being stabbed by a sword* Fixer: Rude. Scorch: That's fair. 38: Not again. Sev: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Sev: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

Scorch: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Fixer, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Sev: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. Scorch, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Scorch: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I’m drunk. Scorch: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now. 38: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

Sev: I failed my safety training course today. 38: Why, what happened? Sev: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" 38: And? Sev: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Sev: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds. Scorch: Forty five seconds?!? Sev: No! I said four TO five seconds. Scorch, hugging Sev: Too late.

Fixer: Go to hell! Sev: Where do you think I come from?

38: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! 38: *aggressively throws water bottles* Sev: Uh... what's up with him? Fixer: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. 38: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Scorch, crying: It's working.

[fembroder]

There’s lots to be thankful for

[in-the-words-of-camp-campbell]

Cameron: Wait, you two record my emails and tape my phone calls?

Agent Miller: Alright, dry your eyes Campbell. If you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

[kaiju-booty]

my dad-in-law is an absolute ɪᴄᴏɴ

[somesexinthecity-blog]

the IT guy....

met him on Wednesday, I worked a night shift and got off at 8 am and he was around the corner waiting for me as promised in his texts at 7, he bought me coffee and surprised me with roses, wear he got roses at 7:30 on a Wednesday was beyond me, but I thought it was cute.  We went for a walk along a beach and we talked about everything under the sun, he drove me home where I invited him in after some eye rolling and some small manipulation on his part. Where we bluntly we jacked each other off, and now he thinks we’re soul mates because we managed to orgasm at the same time.  Not going to lie, his cock game was kind of weak, but good lord give me his hands any day of the week...

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

Andi Burns ~ The IT Guy ~ Cover Reveal

Title: The IT Guy Author: Andi Burns Genre: Romantic Comedy Cover Design: ME Kusel, Steamy Designs Release Date: February 7, 2020 Blurb Elaine I love my job, I love my house, and I love my c…