me: wow xu minghao is a beautiful human being who deserves all the rest, love, and support that he can get. i hope that he’s watching tv and reading books and slowly healing up, and i hope the members feed him his meals on a golden platter.
friend: no that’s not what i–
me: here, help me light these ‘get well soon’ candles while i get the shrine set up.
In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”
Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”
Minghao Robin Hoods the frick outta his life, and quite literally bumps into you in the process.
✄ Word Count: 3402
✄ T/W: Swearing, attempted robbery, cute shit
✄ A/N: Heyo it’s Belle, I’m back with something that nobody asked for but I thought was necessary.
Masterlist
Contrary to what his best friend and roommate says, Xu Minghao insists that he’s a decent person.
(“And Mingyu can go fuck himself with his morals, the asshole’s the most notorious bootlegger you’ll find on campus”)
But honest, Minghao is a simple college boy.
He came to Pledis University when he was 18 as an international student, double majoring in Visual Arts, and Korean Language and Culture.
He’s there mostly on scholarship but he also has financial support from his parents, so he’s never really had to worry about his economic status.
He’s not the most social of kids but he’s also not the most introverted, so he always has just enough friends and just enough parties to attend as to not get bored.
But he gets bored anyway, because he’s always been an active child itching to do more.
So really, this whole mess started when he decides that he should pick up his old hobby:
Breakdancing
It’s mostly just a passing thought that comes to him when he comes back home for holiday and rewatches a VHR tape of an old b-boying competition.
But it lingers and every once in awhile he considers the possibility of him just quitting school and becoming a b-boy star like he once dreamed of.
After all, he was pretty damn good.
(He accidentally thinks this out loud during dinner and his mother throws her chopsticks at him)
Anyway, he returns to college for the new year and he’s almost completely forgotten about his old dreams.
Luckily enough (or maybe unluckily enough, depending on the perspective), there is a campus b-boy squad that he happens to stumble upon during his second-year clubs fair (as in, they barrelled into him with a flier and bombarded him with questions).
To be truthful, it seems pretty lame and Minghao’s sure that if he went underground, he could probably find a cooler scene,,,
But also, they said that there would be snacks at the interest meeting,,,
And so he makes the considerate decision to attend.
The interest meeting is where he meets Seokmin of all people.
The acting major makes a scene when he announces that he’s not there as Lee Seokmin but as Kang Hajoon, a lower-class high school drop out who finds his way through the power of breakdance.
(“Nobody knew who you were in the first place, dipshit–“
“–I said to call me Hajoon–“
“–Just sit down.”)
And people are snickering at Seokmin because they find his method acting lame.
But Minghao finds that lame so he proceeds to sit down right beside the boy and stare daggers at any jerk who directs a snide comment their way.
He hangs around just long enough so that he can decimate the rest in a b-boy demonstration, pretty much showing them all what they’re going to miss out on.
And then he gets up and leaves the meeting, Seokmin following behind him.
They grab some chips on their way out and properly introduce themselves.
“Hey sorry about all of that in there, Seo- uh, Hajoon. B-boyers usually aren’t assholes… Just them. Don’t let that bleed into your portrayal, you feel? I’m Minghao, by the way. Nice to meet you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m over it. Thanks for what you did back there... It’s nice to meet you too. And you can call me Seokmin now, I’m done with Hajoon for the day.”
Which starts an odd, but well-oiled friendship.
Seokmin introduces Minghao to all of his friends, and that’s how Minghao ends up with an incredibly,, diverse,, friend group.
And by diverse, he means that he’s positive his friendship with them will likely result with him going to jail.
He should’ve realized it when the de facto leader Seungcheol introduced himself as “S.Coups” and made him sign a waiver of liability before joining the group.
It was scribbled on to the back of a receipt but yeah, it should’ve been a little concerning
But Minghao just kinda rolls with it.
And this is how he finds himself inducted into their so-called “League of Good Doers Doing Not So Good Doer Things”.
It’s a working title; LoGDDNSGDT for short.
(“What do you do, Seokmin?”
“I’m a recruiter!”
“… That’s fair.”)
It takes him a few months to solidify his role in the group (he’s the last to join), but in that time he manages to become especially good friends with Mingyu, so much so that he becomes his roommate.
Mingyu’s known for using his technical abilities to bootleg high quality concert footage, videos, textbooks, and whatever else you need.
(“We’re all just a bunch of broke college students with a bunch of broke college student needs. We’re just making those needs realities.”)
Also alcohol, he sells a lot of alcohol.
And though Minghao initially scoffs at this, it also makes him check his privilege a little
He’s always been fortunate enough to grow up with money and be smart, free to do whatever he wants when he wants.
Growing up, he’s had a lot of interests and a lot of phases, all of which he more than excelled in.
Gosh, there was even that one ninja phase…
THE NINJA PHASE
He’s eating a brownie that’s probably been laced with weed one Friday night as he watches tv with Mingyu and Seokmin when he remembers the ninja phase.
He remembers how stealthy he is and just how good he is at picking locks.
And so he decides to Robin Hood the frick outta his life, robbing the expensive belongings from the richer students and pawning their items off so he can donate to the poor.
He excels at this too, much to Mingyu’s chagrin (“the kid’s just fuckin’ good at everything!”)
It definitely alleviates him of his boredom, and he’s so subtle and precise with it that most of the time, people don’t even notice when things are missing.
He’s become some kind of town legend, and so many people idolize this mysterious robber that the authorities aren’t even too concerned.
He’s also somehow acquired this odd nickname?? The8?? They say it’s because you never know how his crimes begin or how they’ll end.
Like the only thing anybody knows about his victims is that they’ll be wealthy (but gosh, Pledis U has too many of those roaming the place),,,, but then next thing you know the underfunded art department will suddenly get a donation of a few thousand, or the Culture Club food drive will find a gazillion non-perishable cans when they come back the next morning.
Minghao likes to think he's spontaneous.
Now this is where you come in (“finally,” I can hear you sigh from behind your screens)
Unlike everyone else around you, you do not have the biggest crush on this mysterious figure.
(“Just for the record, ‘The8’ is literally the dumbest robber alias I have ever heard.”
“How many have you heard before?”
“Not. The. Point.”)
All he does is go around and undermine people’s hard work, invading their personal space and infringing on their privacy.
All so that he can make a quick buck.
And sure, maybe he’s not spending all that money on himself, but to make students feel unsafe and unprotected in their own freaking homes and dorms?
And to have nobody do anything about it?
Absurd.
It becomes such a constant source of ire for you that you rant about this almost daily.
But it’s like you’re the only one who understands the gravity of the situation.
Your closest friends are all about this guy, singing his praises and commending his selflessness.
Your junior, Chan, is particularly adamant about the quality of his character (you have no idea about his involvement with the LoGDDNSGDT, of course; after all, he also had to sign the receipt contract).
So you’re a party of 1 in the Anti-The-8 Movement.
He’s three months into it when he makes a rather stupid mistake:
He decides to rob you.
Minghao will later complain that anybody could’ve gotten the wrong idea.
He sees you for the first time in his Korean History class.
He doesn’t exactly know how he missed you before.
First of all, you’re fucking gorgeous
First of all, there is a certain air that you carry yourself with–
It’s poised and self-assured and kind of breathtaking.
You raise your hand to read a passage and even the way you speak is levelled and controlled.
You remind him of royalty some of the other wealthy kids on campus.
Probably trained to uphold a certain degree of eloquence so that you can one day take over your parents’ company and maintain good business relationships.
And socialize at those hoity-toity parties with the little hors d'oeuvres.
His thoughts are confirmed after class when he overhears you talk with your friends.
You’re asking your friend to take notes in place for you when you go off to vacation with your family next week.
“Heading off to the island?” Your one friend chirps.
“Yeah, dad just finished a successful case and we’re celebrating.”
And wait, an island? These guys must be fucking loaded.
Your friend lets your name slip and it’s all starting to make a lot more sense.
Now he’s heard of your name around campus.
Your parents are lawyers who built an empire, opening up law firms around the country.
They’re known for being ruthless and never sharing their wealth.
In short, they’re prime targets!!
Minghao feels like it’s Christmas– this will be his biggest catch since that one kid who was the heir to the electric toothbrush company.
He trails you and your friends for a few minutes just to confirm the details and then he’s off to plan.
Fast forward a week later to when you should be going off to vacation.
But instead you come down with the stomach flu, and not a pretty one either.
You experience the full range of systems:
Vomit, fever, dizziness, fatigue,,, There’s no way your parents are letting you tag along on the trip.
And you’re too busy vomiting to argue.
So they ditch your ass and head off to vacation by themselves, once you assure them that you’ll be fine on your own.
After all, you are a certified GDI who can take care of yourself.
… Who just so happens to be dressed up in a onesie, cuddling a large teddy bear as you watch Netflix from your nest of pillows on the couch.
You’ve scrolling through your recommended feed when you hear it:
The door opening
And you have to wonder if the vacation ended early because who else… Would…
You gasp when you realize what’s going on, rushing to turn off the television as to eliminate all sources of sound.
All your nightmares are coming true, and you haven’t even fully developed a game plan to approach this awful situation.
Now you’re not dumb, you’re not gonna run headfirst into a situation where you don’t have the upper hand.
Instead, you’ll hide and discreetly notify the authorities when you activate the alarm system.
And so no, you’re not dumb,,
But you are clumsy.
You’re trying to navigate your way to your bedroom, remote in hand as a backup weapon, checking over your shoulder at every possible moment.
Perhaps you’re checking over your shoulder a little too much, because next thing you know you’ve crashed into a wall.
Except the wall moves and you know that it’s definitely not a wall.
The wall makes a sound, a little grunt and you snap your head back around so quickly, you think you hear the whip of the wind.
The man in front of you is tall and skinny, and seems oddly familiar even with his ski mask on.
You don’t have too much time to contemplate this however , as you’re too busy trying to whack the heck outta him with your remote.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ASSBUCKET.”
It's all just too much, and you're surprised you haven't shat your pants because of how scared you are.
But,,,, The8 is kinda just taking it??? He's trying to block you of course (and mostly succeeding to, the jerk) but he's not trying to fight back. What kind of shitty robber…?
You're c o n f u s e d, which is why you stop to look up at him expectantly.
“You done?” His voice incites a whole new wave of panic to wash over you, and you raise your remote to start hitting him again but The8 quickly raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, hey now, I'm not here to hurt you.”
You're skeptical, of course you are. But you think back to all the gossip you’ve heard about The8, and realize that you can’t recall any accounts of violence.
This doesn't change the fact that this asshole is robbing you, so you use the remote to gesture towards his ski mask.
“Take it off.”
And he sighs, as if it's inevitable, but holds up a finger and starts to negotiate,,,, as if he has any right to in this current situation,,, and gosh, how is he so damn calm right now??
“Okay, but if I do, promise you won’t call the cops immediately.”
You don't know why you agree to his terms– you're sure it won't make a difference.
He’ll get the cops called on him sooner or later.
But if it gets him to cooperate… You agree with a swift dip of your head.
The tension in the room is palpable, and you have to remind yourself to breathe as he starts to take off his mask.
And oh fuck you know who it is you know who it is you know who it is.
You recognize him immediately as the cute guy in your Korean History class, the one you've had a crush on since forever and a half ago.
The one that's always hanging out with that group of loud kids…Chan's Precious Seniors
And somewhere in your subconscious, you're freaking out about the possibility of Chan being involved in a crime syndicate.
And further freaking out about how you’ve confided in Chan about your crush in Xu Minghao, who just so happens to be The8 and holy fuck you can’t believe it’s him.
You really don’t have much time to dwell, because the shock and overexertion of the situation starts gets to you, and you’re starting to feel dizzy. It’s like the fever finally catches up to you–
And then you’re falling, fainting–
The last thing you hear before you pass out is the startled cry of your name.
…
You wake up to the smell of broth, and the feeling of a damp cloth pressed to the top of your forehead.
Your headache is devastating, but you’re otherwise positioned comfortably
It takes you a minute to process that you’re back on your living room couch, low hum of the television sounding from somewhere to your right
You try to locate the smell of broth, which is when you meet eye-to-eye with a very timid looking Minghao
He’s more tense than earlier, as if he’s scared you’ll jump up right then and there to attack him
And you would, honest, but the broth,,, smells,,, so,,, good,,,
You motion for him to give it to you and he relaxes before quickly complying, letting you sit up before gently placing the bowl in your hands.
He settles into a stool beside you– one that definitely wasn’t there before, but it’s whatever.
You sit there in silence for a good couple of minutes, Minghao watching the drama playing on TV as you drink your broth.
It’s kinda nice
Minghao’s the first one to speak.
“Please don’t exert yourself like that if you’re sick. You could’ve had a heart attack or something.”
He sounds so small that you just manage to resist throwing the rest of the hot soup at him in the sudden bubble of anger that erupts from you in the form of a hiss.
“Um, my memory might be wrong here but wasn’t it you who broke into my house in the first place, assbucket?”
He chuckles at that, and you’re slowly losing that sliver of self-restraint.
“Assbucket, that’s a new one.” You notice that his accent is more prominent when he’s amused.
“You deserve worse, you assbucket.”
At that he really laughs, and you have to look away to distract yourself from how attractive the sound is.
“You’re cute, you know that?”
You’re not sure what to say to that, and Minghao can tell. He quickly changes tact.
“Listen, I get why you’re mad.” Oh, now wouldn’t that be the understatement of the year.
“But I promise I’m not here to hurt you. I-I won’t even steal anything from here anymore. But please, please don’t make yourself more sick because of me.”
And man, fuck Minghao for making it damn near impossible to call the police on his ass. You don’t say anything more until you finish up your broth.
“Why… Why do you do it?”
Minghao shrugs. “Just because.”
“Just because? You’re violating my home, Minghao. This is my private space, and you’re infringing upon it without my consent.”
Minghao furrows his eyebrows, as if he’s never considered it before. And God, why did it have to be him?
Minghao finally hums. “Would you miss it?”
W-wha… “Huh?”
Minghao nods towards an abstract modernist piece that hangs high up on your wall. “Would you miss it?”
Your silence is more than enough to answer his question.
“But I’m sorry, you know. I truly wouldn’t have come around if I was aware you’d be home. Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”
“. . . Minghao, that’s creepy. Don’t do that. Besides, how do you know my name?”
“How do you know mine?”
The fucker. You blush, shrugging and dropping the subject completely. You’re avoiding his eyes so much that you miss the fond smile on his lips. He’s about to say something when a phone sounds. You realize it’s coming from Minghao’s pocket and watch as he takes it out, curious.
Minghao checks his phone and immediately scowls, closing his eyes in what seems like exasperation.
“I… I have to go, so sorry. My roommate just did something unbelievably stupid because he’s unbelievably stupid.”
You refrain from asking; you really don’t wanna know.
“Will you be alright by yourself? I’m worried… I’ll try to stay longer if you don’t think you will… I mean, if you want. Or I can call someone to come or–”
Where was this bashful kid an hour ago? For the first time that evening, you let out a small smile. He sees it and is stunned, momentarily blinded by your beauty.
“I’ll be fine Minghao, go help your roommate.”
He nods, getting up to leave, but not before taking your phone from the coffee table. He holds it out so that you can unlock it, and you do, though the question hangs in your eyes.
“I-I’m not taking it, just wanted to give you my phone number. In case you start to feel worse. Call me or don’t... It’s whatever.”
And so you do.
...
Bonus:
Three months later, you’re recounting the tale to the rest of the boys during one of their weekly movie nights. (You don’t dare touch the brownies, Minghao tells you they’re fucked.)
In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”
Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”
Your boyfriend ignores it, though Seokmin stubbornly keeps his hand up and waits for anyone to complete the exchange. You tap your palm against his in pity.
“Actually,” Minghao starts, nuzzling his nose into your hair, “I would say Y/N is the one who stole my heart instead. Just had to fall straight into my arms like that… A true master of seduction.”
You giggle, turning your head to peck his lips. The boys groan, losing interest in your story and turning back towards the movie.
From somewhere in the corner, you hear Mingyu fake a gag.
(Perhaps it’s the brownies, you can’t really tell.)
