How Grievers Love: What We Leave Behind
i was thinking about Maysilee (as I do at least once a day since SOTR).
Specifically about how she didn't care for the mockingjay pin. About how it was something that became cherished because the people who loved her needed something to hold onto. how hilarious she would have found it to learn that this pin became a symbol for a revolution. (ESPECIALLY knowing how much it fucking HAUNTED Snow.
Anyways, on a totally personal note, this reminded me of a story about my late fiance.
When they died, the funeral services were in their home state of Indiana.
I'd been in a state of catatonic shock for days at this point that nothing could break me out of.
as i'm sitting in the front row watching the services, i hear music start up from the volunteer orchestra. (all friends of my late partner)
Now, my late partner was a musician. And a wonderful one at that, even dabbling in composing. They played the piano, the mandolin, the freaking MELODICA, and the cello (the cello being their favorite instrument)
I immediately recognize the music that the orchestra has chosen to play as Pachelbel's Canon (Canon in D)
and, for the first time in 8 of the most horrific, gray, blurry days of my entire life - i managed to smile.
see, the thing is....as a cellist, my partner fucking HATED that song. hated it with every part of their being.
"look, it's nice. like it sounds really nice. it's a NICE sounding song... BUT IT'S THE SAME 8 FUCKING NOTES OVER AND OVER AGAIN. it's so fucking BORING to play"
so, hearing it playing at their funeral. how much it meant to the family, how lovely the service was - and how much they would have hated THAT exact song being played...
i'd never wanted to laugh so badly in my entire life.
side side note... at the celebration of life that i had for them in Washington State, with all of their college friends and Seattle friends - i chose to start the service by playing this video. i feel it set the tone and i think (hope) that they would have really appreciated the joke.