May 14
Chapter 24 of The Sweetest Devotion
♥️A special ocassion in Paris
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
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Chapter 24 of The Sweetest Devotion
♥️A special ocassion in Paris
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
The Sweetest Devotion
Summary: Pregnancy is hard work. The fatigue, the morning sickness and the strange new aches and pains are bad enough, but the nerves about how a new baby will change your family dynamic can be just as tough. Luckily, for Chris and Whitney, the excitement and love they have for their little baby on the way far outweighs any struggles that could pop up and they’re hopeful that Grayson will feel the same as they navigate their way through the first expansion of their little family.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Part Eleven
Note: This is the last chapter of this part of the series! I have lots more planned for this little family, but I have to take some time to organize things and start writing. Thank you so much for everyone’s support and all the amazing and thoughtful comments, it really means a lot! ❤
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Part Twelve
It was the middle of the morning when it first hit me.
I’d dropped Grayson off at preschool and came home to start sorting through some of the baby clothes we’d bought or been gifted for Isabella, but almost as soon as I walked through the door I felt a cramp weave through my stomach that made me freeze in the entryway. At first, I thought it was just Braxton Hicks - it was only April 6th, I wasn’t due for another three weeks - but when it became very apparent that the pain I was feeling was happening consistently at regular intervals and much more painful than other Braxton Hicks contractions had been, I knew that it was the real deal. I was in labour.
The panic hit me almost immediately. Chris wasn’t there. My parents weren’t there. I was alone and going to have to get through it all by myself. I could feel myself starting to spiral into the anxiety so I did the first thing that came to mind and reached out to the first person I thought of to lean on for support. I called Lisa.
“Hi, Whitney!” She answered. “How are you?”
“I think I’m in labour.”
My response came out very abruptly and I heard a gasp of delight from the other end of the phone.
“Oh my gosh, that’s exciting! Are you okay? Is Chris there?”
“No,” I practically whimpered as I felt my emotions rising. “I’m all by myself. She’s early, I’m not due for another three weeks. Chris isn’t here, my parents aren’t here, this wasn’t the plan at all.”
There was a moment of silence before Lisa answered, her tone shifting from gleeful to something more calming.
“These things rarely go to plan,” she assured me. “But you’re going to be totally fine. I’ll come over right away, okay? You won’t have to do this alone.”
“Thank you,” I smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. “I really appreciate that.”
“Of course! I’ll leave right now, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
-
True to her word, Lisa showed up exactly twenty minutes later.
“How are you feeling?” She asked as she settled in the living room. “Have you told Chris yet?”
“I’m fine so far,” I answered. “I called Chris, but he didn’t answer.”
“So, call him again.”
“He’s probably on set,” I pointed out. “He always calls me back as soon as he can check his phone.”
“Call him again,” she insisted. “If he doesn’t answer, we’ll try to find another way to contact him, but he needs to start heading home now if he wants to make it in time.”
“He should be okay. I was in labour for eight hours with Grayson.”
I wasn’t entirely sure who my words were supposed to convince, but Lisa simply shrugged.
“The second one can be faster and the flight alone is two and a half hours, right? We need to give him as much time as possible.”
I knew she was right so I nodded and picked up my phone. To my surprise, Chris answered almost immediately.
“Hey, what’s up? I just saw your call.”
“The baby’s coming, Chris,” I informed him, the discomfort of another contraction making my announcement come out more bluntly than I’d hoped. “You need to come home.”
“Shit,” Chris cursed. “I will, I’ll be on the next flight out.”
“You don’t have to film today?”
“I do, but we knew this might happen. I made a plan, it’ll be fine,” he assured me. “How are you feeling?”
Knowing that he’d had the forethought to make a plan put me at ease as we - rather foolishly - hadn’t talked about what would happen if our current situation was to occur and I relaxed slightly as I answered now that I knew he wouldn’t be contractually obligated to stay at work and miss the birth of our child.
“I’m okay. My contractions are about ten minutes apart and still bearable. It’s been just over an hour and they’ve not gotten worse yet.”
“Good, that’s great, I’m glad it’s not too bad yet. I should go deal with my flight, but I’ll call you as soon as I’m at the airport. Try to keep her in until I’m there.”
I laughed and just had enough time to assure him that I would do my best before he hung up. His panic was clear, but I appreciated the urgency with which he was moving.
“He’ll be here as soon as possible,” I told Lisa, earning a nod and a smile.
“Okay, great. Now, what about Grayson?”
“I can get his best friend’s mom, Annie, to pick him up,” I suggested before a thought hit me. “Oh, crap, he’s supposed to get his cast off today! I have to go with him.”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to,” Lisa told me, her tone gentle as she clearly didn’t want to upset me. “But what time is his appointment?”
“Three-thirty.”
“Perfect,” Lisa smiled. “If your friend can pick him up after preschool then Carly can go and pick him up when she’s done work, I’m sure she won’t mind taking him to his appointment.”
I anxiously chewed on my bottom lip as I mulled over her proposition.
“But he’ll be nervous about it, he’ll want me to be there.”
“I know, sweetheart, but you probably won’t be able to go so we need to make a plan.”
I knew that what she’d said was right. There was a very high chance that by the time Grayson had to go to his appointment I would be way too far into my labour to take him, but that knowledge didn’t ease the guilt that I felt. However, as another contraction hit me - only eight minutes after the last - I knew I had no choice.
“Okay,” I agreed, breathing through the discomfort. “Can you call Carly for me? I don’t want to miss any calls from Chris.”
“Of course, but I’m sure she won’t mind,” Lisa assured me. “The last thing that I need to know is what your hospital plan is.”
“My doctor said to wait until my contractions are consistently five minutes apart and I can’t talk through them anymore,” I informed her. “With Grayson, I went to the hospital right away and wished I’d been home and comfortable for longer so I’m hoping to stick to that and stay home as long as possible.”
“Great, then that’s what we’ll do,” she smiled. “Is there anything you need right now or can I call Carly?”
“You can call Carly,” I nodded, but as she stood up to leave the room, I stopped her. “Thank you for coming, Lisa. I really appreciate it. I’d hate to be doing this alone.”
“It’s no trouble,” Lisa assured me. “I’m more than happy to help and honoured that you thought to call me.”
“You were the first person that came to mind.”
Lisa looked touched by that admission as she slipped from the room to explain the situation to Carly.
-
By the time Chris called an hour later to tell me he was just heading to the airport, my contractions had shifted to being seven minutes apart and quite a bit more intense. I could still talk through the pain, but knowing that Chris was still at least three and a half hours away and that things were consistently progressing had my stress levels rising.
“She’s three weeks early,” I fretted, pacing around the living room to try and expel some of my nervous energy with Dodger by my feet the whole time. As if he could sense something was wrong, he was increasingly reluctant to leave my side, his stress seemingly growing as mine did. “Do you think I should go to the hospital now? What if something is wrong?”
Lisa shot me a reassuring smile - one that was becoming quite familiar to me after our time together that morning.
“Three weeks is nothing,” She reminded me. “Thirty-seven weeks is still considered full-term and due dates are never completely accurate, are they? It could be a couple of weeks off so I’m sure that you’re fine, but if your instinct tells you to go to the hospital then we can go.”
I paused my movements as I mulled over her words, but after a moment of thought I resumed my pacing as I shook my head.
“No. My doctor didn’t seem worried so I think we should wait,” I reminded us both, referring to the conversation I’d had with my doctor when I’d called to warn her that I was in labour. “I don’t think it’s my instincts talking, it’s my anxiety.”
“That’s understandable,” Lisa assured me. “But let's focus on what your doctor said and how you’re feeling. Keep in mind that we can go to the hospital at any time and be there in half an hour so there’s no rush, you can wait until you’re ready.”
“Thank you,” I smiled. “It’s clear where Chris gets his ability to calm me down from, you’re very soothing.”
“I’ve had more than enough experience helping my children through their anxiety over the years,” Lisa chuckled. “And I’ve been where you are right now, I know how stressful and overwhelming labour can be.”
I nodded my head in agreement as I rolled my eyes.
“It’s the worst!”
“But at the end you get a sweet little baby out of it,” she smiled. “And I personally can’t wait to meet Isabella.”
“I can’t either,” I agreed before laughing and slightly amending that statement. “Well, I can wait at least another four hours just to make sure that Chris is here, but I’m excited for her to finally be part of our family.”
“He’ll be here,” she insisted before distracting me again. “I wonder if she’ll look more like you or like Chris.”
“Probably Chris,” I guessed with a smile. “If Grayson is anything to go by, he’s practically his twin.”
“There are hints of you in there too, but you’re right. They’re very similar,” she agreed. “I found some pictures of Chris when he was Grayson’s age the other day and it was shocking to see how much he looked like Grayson does now.”
“You should show Gray! He’d love that.”
“I will, but he’ll probably be confused and think they’re pictures of him - they look that much alike.”
“I know,” I playfully rolled my eyes. “I was hoping that Isabella might look more like me because she’s a girl, but did we send you the picture from my last ultrasound? She had Chris’ little smirk on her face already so I definitely think she’s got those Evans genes too.”
“I did see that,” Lisa laughed. “But maybe she’ll get a few traits from you too.”
“I hope so,” I smiled before wincing as another contraction hit me. The intensity still wasn’t at the level that I knew it could be, but it was definitely creeping up and I sighed when it finished. “I need to pee, I’ll be back in a minute.”
I waddled out of the living room and into the bathroom, but after a few minutes sitting on the toilet when it seemed like it was never ending, I realized what was happening. My water had broken. Almost as soon as I had that thought, I felt a popping sensation and it shifted from a trickle to a gush.
I was trapped there until it finally stopped, but as I eventually started cleaning myself up another contraction hit me - one that much fiercer than any of the previous ones had been - and I felt a wave of panic. I rushed back into the living room and from the shocked look on Lisa’s face when she saw me, it was clear that my anxiety was not well hidden.
“My water broke,” I told her. “And my contractions are much worse now.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” she assured me. “It’s good that things are moving and progressing.”
“No, no, it’s not!” I insisted. “Chris isn’t here! He’s still like three hours away!”
“And he could still make it in time,” she pointed out. “But you need to try and push those worries from your mind and focus on you and the baby.”
“I can’t,” I whimpered, swallowing a lump in my throat as tears filled my eyes. “I can’t do this without Chris.”
Standing from her seat on the couch, Lisa strode across the room with a purposeful look on her face and put her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look into her eyes.
“I know that you’re scared,” she sympathized. “But you’re a strong woman, Whitney. You’ve done a lot of tough things in your life without Chris and if we have to add this to the list then we will.”
“But he needs to be here,” I sniffled. “He’ll be so disappointed.”
“Oh, honey,” Lisa cooed as she pulled me into a hug. “As long as you and the baby are safe, he’ll be just fine.”
I was ready to argue and insist that he would be devastated when another fierce contraction hit me. My grip on Lisa tightened as if I was trying to draw strength from her.
“Okay,” I breathed through the pain. “That’s five minutes apart now.”
“And clearly more painful,” she observed, continuing to hold me until the pain subsided. “So things are moving much quicker.”
“We still have time,” I insisted. “My doctor said I had at least half an hour after I got to this point before I needed to go to the hospital unless the contractions speed up again.”
Lisa seemed somewhat concerned, but reluctantly agreed and settled back onto the couch as I went back to my pacing with Dodger and put as much energy as I could spare into silently begging Isabella to cut me some slack and stay put until Chris made it home.
-
I made it almost another hour before Lisa convinced me it was time to go to the hospital. I could no longer talk through my contractions and they were just under five minutes apart and neither of us wanted to wait until I was at risk of giving birth on the side of the road.
But Chris was still about two hours away, possibly more depending on how long it would take him to get through the airport and to the hospital. I’d only been in labour for three and a half - maybe four - hours so I was starting to lose hope that he would make it in time.
However, when we got to the hospital and the doctor came to see how I was doing, she put me at ease. Despite my consistent, strong and close together contractions, I wasn’t as far along as I’d expected and she warned me that it could still take several hours until the baby made an appearance. We had a short conversation about pain management, but to everyone’s surprise - including my own - I declined the epidural. I’d been on the fence about it and hadn’t really made a decision since I thought I still had a few weeks to weigh the pros and cons, but with Grayson I’d had an epidural and regretted it. It had made me quite nauseous and I’d struggled with the fact that it left me unable to move much. Shifting positions and walking around helped me a lot and I hadn’t liked losing the ability to do that so this time I decided to try and persevere without it.
An hour and a half later when Chris called to say that he had landed and was on his way, I was less confident in that decision. Contrary to what the doctor had warned me about, things were continuing to progress quickly and my contractions were only two minutes apart and incredibly painful. Lisa’s unwavering support and words of encouragement were the only thing keeping me sane and I was endlessly grateful for her, but nothing beat the relief that I felt when Chris finally ran into the room. The feeling of such overwhelming joy as soon as I saw him was too much to handle in my fragile state and I immediately burst into tears.
“You made it,” I cried. “You’re here!”
“I am,” he panted with a smile as he crossed the room to where I was standing and pulled me into his arms. “How are you doing?”
“She’s doing amazing,” Lisa answered for me as I sobbed into his chest. “She hasn’t even had an epidural yet, she’s one tough cookie.”
Chris pulled back enough to look down at me.
“You haven’t?” He asked, pausing until I shook my head in agreement. “Holy shit, you’re a champ. I’m so proud of you, Winnie.”
I knew that he would have been proud of me either way, but his support made my heart soar. I felt renewed now that he was by my side - I felt like I could tackle anything and get Isabella out in no time - until the next contraction hit and I gripped his shirt and let out a moan of pain.
“Remember to breathe,” Chris instructed, immediately settling into his role as my main supporter. “You’ve got this, you’re doing great.”
“I’m not,” I wailed. “I can’t do it, Chris. I’m exhausted.”
“I know, Win. I know you are, but you can do this.
I tried to take his words to heart as I focused on my breathing until the pain subsided, but once things had settled Lisa spoke up and I felt my heart sink.
“I’m glad you made it, Chris,” she smiled as she stood up from her chair. “I’ll give you some space now, but I’ll be in the waiting area if you need me.”
“No!” I blurted out, shooting her a pleading look. “Stay, please. You’ve been so helpful and so great at keeping me calm. I need you here.”
Lisa froze and looked taken aback by my request.
“Really? Are you sure? Chris is here now, he can step in to support you.”
“I know and I’m so glad he is, but you’ve been my rock this whole time. I don’t want you to go,” I insisted. “I mean, if you don’t mind. Is that a weird thing to ask?”
“No, no, of course it isn’t,” Lisa smiled. “I’d be happy to stay, I just assumed you’d want some privacy.”
“I want all the support I can get.”
Chris leaned down to press a kiss on the top of my head as he smiled softly with tears in his eyes. I realized then that having his mother here probably meant a lot to him too, not only because he was glad that I valued her presence but for his own support as well. Even though he’d hid it well and I hadn’t even noticed at the time, he’d mentioned to me near the start of my pregnancy with Isabella that he’d spent most of Grayson’s birth wracked with anxiety. He’d told me how terrifying it was for him to see me in so much pain and how guilty he felt for being responsible and how scared he was that something would go wrong and that Grayson or I wouldn’t make it. We’d talked about it at length to try and ease some of his anxieties for Isabella’s birth, but I knew that he’d probably appreciate his mother’s support as well - especially as it happened so suddenly and he’d probably been in full panic mode since he left Atlanta.
I barely had time to process those thoughts when another contraction hit me, but just as it passed the door to my room opened again and my doctor appeared.
“I thought I saw Dad sprinting down the hallway,” she teased. “But I’m glad you made it. Shall we check how you’re progressing, Whitney?”
I nodded and climbed onto the bed with Chris’ help. He kept his hand in mine, squeezing gently as the doctor examined me until she stood up and moved away with a smile.
“Well, it seems like Daddy got here just in time,” she informed us. “I think you’re about ready to start pushing.”
That news had a mixture of emotions stirring inside me. I was eager for the whole process to be over, but nervous about what I knew was coming next. However, with Chris and Lisa on either side of me with enthusiastic grins on their faces as they both fed me words of reassurance, I had a renewed confidence that I could get through it and I was ready to meet our daughter.
-
An hour and a half after that conversation, Isabella Mae was resting contentedly on my chest.
It took forty-five minutes of pushing - and swearing, intense pain, tears of exhaustion and defeat, and amazing support from Chris and Lisa - for her to join us, but once we were both all checked out and cleaned up and she was placed in my arms, I felt like I was on top of the world. There is no feeling that compares to meeting your child for the first time and as she nuzzled into my skin with Chris by our side, squatting down to peer into her face, it was clear we were both madly in love.
“She looks so much like you,” I observed. “There’s no denying it.”
“She does,” he proudly agreed before reaching out with a gentle finger to spike up the generous amount of hair that already graced her head. “She’s embracing my fluffy hair look.”
I giggled, feeling a few tears prick my eyes as the joy I felt was overwhelming, but before I could comment Lisa spoke up.
“I’m going to head out now and pick up Grayson,” she told us. “Do you want me to bring him here or should I take him straight to my house?”
I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that I’d momentarily forgotten about Grayson while I’d been focused on the baby on my chest.
“What time is it?”
“Almost five–thirty,” Lisa informed me. “I’m not sure if you heard, but the doctor mentioned that they’d keep you and Belle in tonight for observation - just to be safe - so I figured Gray could have a sleepover with me.”
My exhausted and confused brain took in what she was saying, but struggled to prioritize the information as one thought was my main concern.
“Did Grayson get his cast off?” I asked. “Is he okay? Did it go well?”
“It went fine,” Lisa assured me. “Carly said that Jon took great care of them and Grayson was very brave and he’s feeling fine. He’s apparently very excited to meet his little sister though.”
“I’m excited for him to meet her too,” Chris grinned. “He’s gonna be the best big brother.”
“He will,” I agreed with a smile. “But I think maybe it would be best if he meets her tomorrow if I’m allowed to leave in the morning. I don’t really want him to see me this exhausted and home might be a less stressful setting for them to meet, but if they want to keep me in longer then I want to see him.”
“That makes sense,” Chris nodded before turning to his mom. “If you don’t mind taking him home tonight then I’ll swing by in the morning for breakfast and to take him to preschool before I come back here to hopefully pick Whitney and Belle.”
“That’s fine with me,” she smiled as she slipped on her coat and gathered her things. “Congratulations again to both of you. Whitney, you’re amazing and she’s beautiful.”
Her words brought more tears to my eyes, but I blinked them back as I answered.
“Thank you. And thank you for all your support, I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“It was an honour,” Lisa assured me, her genuine tone making it even harder to fight back my tears. “I’ll call in a couple of hours so Grayson can say goodnight, okay?”
Chris and I agreed and said our goodbyes before settling into the quiet as we stared at our little bundle of joy. We took a moment just to stare at her, soaking in the sound of her little grunts and snuffles until Chris spoke.
“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured, shifting his gaze from Isabella to meet my eyes. “You’re so fuckin’ strong, I’m amazed by you.”
“Shh, don’t swear in front of the baby,” I teased. “But thank you, I’m pretty proud of myself too. Even though I was pretty close to giving up just before you got here.”
Chris winced and shot me an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I’m sorry you had to go through most of that all by yourself.”
“Don’t worry about it. You made it for the most important part and I wasn’t alone, your mom was amazing. I can never thank her enough for her support today,” I told him, earning a smile as he leaned forward to place a kiss on my shoulder. “How will it work now though? Do you have to go straight back to Atlanta?”
“I have a week off,” he informed me before the look on his face turned a bit sheepish. “But I do have two weeks of filming left.”
“I figured you would and that’s okay, it’s not your fault she decided to make an early appearance,” I assured him. “I’m grateful we get you for a week at least.”
Chris shrugged and gently stroked Belle’s back.
“I don’t really wanna go back, I don’t want to be away for her first few weeks - especially with Grayson. It’ll be hard enough on him without one of his parents being gone completely.”
He was right and I would have been lying if I said that I wasn’t also a bit apprehensive about the situation, but there was nothing that could be done about it now.
“We’ll be fine,” I insisted. “My parents are coming on the weekend so they can help keep Grayson distracted and make sure he still feels loved.”
“That’s true,” Chris smiled. “I’m glad they’ll be around and Ma loves babies so I’m sure we’ll have a hard time keepin’ her away too.”
“The more the merrier.”
My words were said with a laugh, but it quickly shifted into a yawn.
“Let me take her for a while,” Chris suggested. “You should get some sleep.”
I hesitated, wanting to keep her as close as I possibly could, but after a moment of thought I knew that Chris was right and I did need to rest.
“Okay, but be gentle,” I insisted. “She’s tiny and you’re so muscly.”
Chris chuckled and very carefully lifted her off my chest.
“My muscles were bigger when Gray was born and I never squished him.”
“That’s true,” I smiled, feeling my eyes grow heavy as if my body immediately knew that Isabella was safe and I no longer needed to be so alert. “She just seems even smaller than Grayson was.”
I turned my head to see Chris nod in agreement as he cradled her against his chest. The sight filled my heart with more love than I’d ever thought possible as I drifted off to sleep.
-
The next morning, the doctor gave me the all clear to go home. Isabella was perfectly healthy and I was healing well and eager to leave and get back to the comfort of our house. I was also eager to introduce Isabella to Grayson. He was at preschool until one o’clock which would give us about an hour to settle in before he arrived, but as we pulled into the driveway I was already counting down the minutes.
When he finally walked through the door and came into the living room where I was sitting with Isabella in my arms and Dodger by my feet, his whole face lit up.
“Mama!” He cheered as he ran towards the couch. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, buddy,” I smiled. “Do you want to meet your sister?”
He nodded frantically as he climbed up to sit beside me and gazed down at her. The look of complete love and adoration that he already had on his face had tears immediately springing to my eyes.
“Hi, baby,” he cooed softly. His instinctive gentleness was incredibly impressive and as I glanced up at Chris the tears in his eyes told me that he was just as moved as I was. “Welcome to our family.”
“Grayson,” I choked out, hoping he wouldn’t notice how emotional I was. “That’s really sweet. You’re going to be such a good big brother.”
“I know,” he smiled. “Daddy said that she’s too little to do anything right now, but I wanna teach her everything!”
“I bet she’s gonna love that,” I assured him. “Her name is Isabella, would you like to hold her?”
He eagerly agreed and Chris helped him get settled leaning against the back of the couch with a pillow on his lap for support before lifting Isabella from my arms and placing her in his.
“Hi, Isabella,” he greeted her again. “I’m Grayson, but you can call me Gray.”
I laughed at his little introduction and was happy to see Chris snapping a few pictures on his phone.
“You can call her Belle if you’d like to,” Chris suggested before shooting me a smirk. “Or your Ma keeps calling her Bella Mae.”
I’d been calling her that all night - more specifically “my little Bella Mae”, whispered to her as we’d tried to figure out a rhythm for feeding and getting her to latch properly - but I hadn’t realized that Chris had been awake enough to hear me.
“It’s a pretty name,” I smiled with a shrug. “She likes it.”
“I like it too,” Grayson nodded, his eyes still fixed on his little sister. “Is she gonna sleep all day?”
“She’s gonna sleep a lot,” Chris answered with a chuckle. “Babies need a lot of sleep because they grow really fast.”
“And being born is hard work,” I pointed out. “She’s probably still tired from that.”
As if she’d heard us talking, Isabella gently stirred in Grayson’s arms and almost as soon as she opened her little eyes, she started to scream. Grayson jumped at the sound, but Chris leapt into action and took her from his lap before either of them could get too upset.
“Wow,” Grayson looked at me with his eyes wide. “She’s loud!”
I laughed at the surprise on his face, but nodded my head.
“She is,” I agreed. “She’s got big lungs for a tiny baby.”
Chris was rocking her gently to try and soothe her, but it seemed to be no comfort to her and he looked at me with concern.
“Is she hungry?”
“I just fed her before you two got home. I think she’s just cranky.”
Grayson’s brow furrowed.
“Maybe she doesn’t like me…”
“No, no,” I rushed to assure him. “Babies just cry a lot, especially right after they’re born because it’s scary being here after being nice and safe in Mama’s tummy for so long.”
“And she doesn’t seem to be happy with me either,” Chris pointed out as Isabella continued to cry despite his best efforts of soothing her. I held out my arms for him to pass her back to me and almost immediately she calmed down. “Sometimes babies just need their Mama.”
Grayson cuddled close to my side as he nodded.
“I understand,” he told her before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “I love Mama a lot too.”
His sweetness once again melted my heart and I repeated the sentiment as Chris sat down on my other side.
As we sat there for the first time as a family of four with Dodger still protectively resting at my feet, I felt a wave of pure joy wash over me. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have two beautiful, healthy children and an amazingly supportive fiancé and I was so grateful that I had so much love in my life. As much as I was looking forward to seeing Isabella grow, I was equally desperate for that moment as a happy family to last as long as possible and as I soaked in the feeling - trying to really appreciate my current situation - I was so excited for what the future of our family would hold.
-
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all i ask by adele is a great kadena song and all but consider the sweetest devotion by adele for the kadena airport/possible engagement scene because it has he following lines: "i wasn't ready then, i'm ready now/i'm heading straight for you" & "the sweetest devotion/hit me like an explosion"
deeper than oceans, the sweetest devotion
by louislovesharry
A very pregnant Harry goes to get manicures with Gemma and returns home to his loves.
Words: 3319, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: One Direction (Band)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Gemma Styles
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Additional Tags: Fluff, lots of fluff, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, harry and louis are dads, one tiny mention of jay, Implied Sexual Content, Sibling Banter, yall know anything and everything i write is fluffy mpreg and this is no different, Kid Fic
via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' http://ift.tt/2q5vnih
The Sweetest Devotion
Summary: Pregnancy is hard work. The fatigue, the morning sickness and the strange new aches and pains are bad enough, but the nerves about how a new baby will change your family dynamic can be just as tough. Luckily, for Chris and Whitney, the excitement and love they have for their little baby on the way far outweighs any struggles that could pop up and they’re hopeful that Grayson will feel the same as they navigate their way through the first expansion of their little family.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Part One
-----
Part Two
“Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“Definitely,” I assured Chris, resting the phone on my shoulder as I put on some mascara to try and hide the fact that I’d spent half the morning throwing up. “I’ll be sitting on a bench near a playground, there’s very minimal exertion involved in that.”
“And you’re not nauseous anymore?”
“Not at the moment, but I’ll take some mint tea with me just in case, it seems to help.”
“Okay,” Chris sighed. “Well, don’t push yourself too hard. I gotta run, but I hope you two have fun.”
“We will,” I smiled. “Good luck at your meeting.”
Chris mumbled off a quick ‘thanks’ and a ‘goodbye’ before we hung up. I set my phone down on the counter by the bathroom sink as I finished my makeup quickly, feeling almost as anxious about our outing as Chris sounded, although probably for different reasons.
Almost a week and a half after I’d received Jake’s mom’s phone number, Grayson and I were headed to meet them at the park. Chris had returned to L.A. for a few meetings and work commitments and since I was quite nervous about how Grayson would handle the separation, I’d figured an out of school playdate with his friend would help keep him distracted. So far though, he seemed to be doing okay. There had been a few tears at bedtime despite the fact that Chris had facetimed us, but for the most part he’d adjusted well to his dad’s absence which was reassuring as there were probably many more to come over the next few months.
Once I was ready, I called for Grayson and did my best to hurry him out the door.
-
When we got to the park, Jake and Annie were already there and Grayson shot off to join his friend on the playground. As I’d never met Annie before, I had no idea what she looked like and felt a slight nervousness bubble up as I looked around the park to see if I could guess which of the many mothers dotted around the benches was the one I was looking for. I was just about to pull out my phone and call her when I saw someone on the other side of the playground frantically waving their arms at me. I waved back to assure her that I’d seen before hurrying over.
“Hey,” I smiled. “Sorry, we’re late. Grayson couldn’t find his shoes and then we had a fifteen minute argument about whether it was warm enough to wear just a t-shirt out today or if he should listen to me and wear a sweater.”
Annie chuckled as she gave me a sympathetic look.
“Don’t worry about it, I know that feeling far too well.”
“It’s so hard some days, isn’t it?” I sighed. “But I’m so glad you suggested this. Honestly, Grayson talks about Jake nonstop. It’s so sweet that they’ve become such good friends.”
“Oh, absolutely!” Annie smiled, but as her gaze drifted over to the kids, it faltered slightly and as she turned her eyes back to me she looked almost nervous. “Jake was in preschool last year too, but it...wasn’t great, to say the least.”
Her admission sent a jolt of nerves through me. Grayson had settled into preschool well and loved it, but it was every parent’s worry that their child would have a hard time at school and the anxiety was still lingering in the back of my mind.
“Really? How come?”
It was immediately clear - from the strain on her face - that this topic was not easy for her to talk about. She was quiet for a moment as if she regretted saying anything in the first place, but just as I was about to tell her that we didn’t have to talk about it, she explained.
“He was bullied. Really badly. He was one of the youngest kids in the group and the older ones just had it out for him for no apparent reason.”
My heart sank as I looked over to where Grayson and Jake were happily racing down a slide. No child deserves to be bullied, but Jake was such a sweet kid, it was hard to see how he could have done anything to make himself a target.
“That’s awful,” I empathized. “I think that was my biggest concern when we sent Gray to school.”
“It was really bad,” Annie nodded, her eyes looking glassier just from talking about the subject. “He was miserable and the teachers were no help at all. They intervened, of course, whenever they saw it, but nothing they said or did seemed to dissuade the other kids from picking on him. He screamed and cried every day when we dropped him off and he always looked so defeated when we picked him up. We toughed it out for a couple of months, hoping that it would get resolved, but eventually we had to pull him out.”
“I don’t blame you. I mean, preschool is super beneficial, but he’s not going to get any of those benefits if he was just getting tortured every day.”
“Exactly,” Annie agreed before a smile slid back onto her face. “But that’s why I’m so grateful that he’s made such a good friend in Grayson. When he came home on the first day and was actually happy and telling me that he made a friend, I cried for about half an hour.”
I let out a soft laugh as I sipped the tea that I’d brought with me.
“I almost cried too when Grayson told me and we hadn’t even been through anything like what you had,” I admitted, keeping the fact that it was probably partially due to pregnancy hormones to myself. “But Jake was a huge help for us. Grayson had never been to preschool before and he had a tough time settling in. I don’t know if we would have been able to get him to stay if Jake hadn’t been there to distract him every morning until he got used to us leaving.”
Annie’s smile grew even wider hearing that information and I was glad I could give her some comfort after hearing what a horrible time they’d had the year before.
“Well, it sounds like they’ve both helped each other then.”
“Definitely,” I nodded in agreement. “So, Sandra told me that you guys just moved here recently? Where from? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“We did,” she confirmed. “From Manhattan. I grew up there and it was hard to leave, but my husband got transferred and there’s no denying that this is a more ideal place to raise a family.”
I almost laughed again at how much I could relate to her situation.
“I went through the same thing,” I informed her. “I spent my entire life in L.A. and moved here when I found out I was pregnant with Grayson. I was definitely getting ready for a change, but I was still pretty sad to leave. It seemed like an obvious choice though, this really is a great town for families.”
“Absolutely. We love it here and at least it’s close enough for us that we can get back to the city whenever we feel like it. It must be harder for you being all the way across the country.”
“Sometimes,” I shrugged. “When Grayson was born, it was hard being so far away from my family and with travel being restricted so much for the last couple of years, that was hard too, but we make it work.”
“It’s crazy what we do for our kids, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I smiled. “My life is far more domestic than I would have expected if you asked me ten years ago where I’d be now.”
“I was just talking about that with my husband,” Annie laughed. “We used to be so wild and free and now we’re in bed by ten even on the weekends.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” I agreed before something caught my attention on the playground. “Gray! Keep the sand close to the ground please, you don’t want to get it in anyone’s eyes.”
He shouted back an ‘okay, Mama’ before turning his attention back to the trench that he appeared to be digging with his friend. We watched them quietly for a moment before Annie turned back to me.
“Can I just say, you’re so much nicer than I thought you’d be,” she confessed. “I know it’s horrible and weird, but I Googled you this morning and I was kinda nervous. There’s a lot of mean stuff about you on the internet.”
I snorted a laugh at her observation - knowing that it was a bit of an understatement - but I felt a pang of sadness at the thought of people making their assumptions about me based on the vicious comments online.
“Chris has some very devoted fans who don’t particularly care for me,” I acknowledged. “But it’s good to know that I exceeded expectations. I like to think I’m not as unbearable as they say.”
“Not at all,” Annie insisted, her eyes widening. “I shouldn't have said that, should I? It must be awful to have people talk about you, you don’t want it bringing up like that.”
“It’s fine,” I assured her. “I know what they say about me. I’ve been better lately, but I do scroll through occasionally to see what’s being said.”
“That’s brave,” Annie frowned. “I wouldn’t be able to stand it.”
“Surprisingly, you get used to it,” I shrugged. “When I first met Chris, I found it really hard. As soon as we were spotted in public together, every detail of my life was plastered online within minutes and that was before we were even together.”
A sheepish look came over her face then and I felt a tad apprehensive about what she was going to say next.
“I didn’t want to snoop too much, it felt too invasive, so I am curious about how you two met?” She asked. “I promise I won’t tell anyone anything that you tell me, but you don’t have to answer.”
I smiled at her nervousness and quickly reassured her.
“Oh, I don’t mind talking about it, it’s not like it’s a big secret. I did a photoshoot for one of the Captain American movies and we all went out for drinks afterwards. Chris and I became fast friends after that.”
“Just friends?”
There was a teasing twinkle in her eye and I laughed.
“Friends who were in love with each other, but too stupid to actually talk about it.”
“But then you had Grayson and lived happily ever after?”
“Hardly,” I scoffed. “Then we had Grayson and continued to pretend we were just friends who got carried away one night until the pandemic and impending collapse of the world forced us to have some serious conversations.”
“Wow, really?” Annie asked, seeming genuinely surprised. “I just assumed you’d been together since Grayson was born.”
“No, definitely not. It took us an embarrassingly long time to figure things out,” I admitted with a self-deprecating roll of my eyes. “But now we’re in a really good place. What about you and your husband? How did you two meet?”
“We’re high school sweethearts,” she admitted with a dreamy grin. “We’ve been together for about seventeen years now.”
My eyes widened in surprise. While I planned to spend the rest of my life with Chris, it was hard to imagine being with someone for such a long time, especially through such a complicated time in life as your late teens and twenties. It was an admirable feat and I found myself feeling quite impressed.
“That’s amazing. You guys have been together almost your whole lives.”
“Well, about half,” Annie smiled. “It’s taken a lot of work over the years, but he really is my best friend so we always make it work.”
I paused for a minute, unable to resist reflecting and thinking about my own relationship.
“That’s how I feel about Chris,” I said after a moment of thought. “We obviously had a slow start and we haven’t always made it work, but sometimes you meet someone and just think ‘wow, I need this person in my life’ and that’s how it was when I met Chris.”
“I know exactly what you mean!” Annie agreed. “That’s what I said when I met Jeff. Everyone thought I was just a dumb, lovestruck teenager, but we’ve managed to prove them all wrong.”
“That’s so sweet. Is Jake your only child?”
Annie shook her head and informed me that they had an older child, a daughter, who was seven. She was having a ‘daddy daughter day’ that was apparently going to consist mostly of a dance party and some homemade jewelry crafts. Annie admitted that her husband was a sucker for any quality time with their eldest child and was always quick to get right in even with the girly activities that some dads would avoid. The thought had my stomach fluttering with excitement as I knew Chris would be exactly the same and, even though I didn’t really have a preference, I felt a flicker of hope that we would have a girl.
I hardly had time to dwell on that fact - which was probably a good thing or else I might have blurted out an admission that I wasn’t ready to share - because Annie’s very sweet and enthusiastic energy kept the conversation moving right along. We talked about the various highs and lows of parenting, the things we loved about our children and the things that we found challenging, exchanged stories from before we even dreamed of being parents and talked about the struggle of balancing life as a parent with our own personal needs and goals.
It was so nice to have another mom to chat with, especially one who had a child who was the same age as Grayson. When I first moved to Massachusetts, I’d made one friend who also had children, but over the course of the pandemic, we’d lost touch. I had my friends back in Los Angeles, but none of them had children and while that was nice in many ways, it made it hard to relate about certain things. Hannah was a wonderful and ever present friend, but even as much as she loved Gray and was happy to talk about him, there were certain parent related dilemmas that she just couldn’t understand. So, having someone to talk to who was in a very similar point in their life was refreshing and incredibly comforting.
And Annie was very genuine in her eagerness for us to bond. It was wonderful to be around someone who was as open and unabashed as she was and I was so glad that I’d agreed to meet up for a playdate. We were so caught up in our conversation that it wasn’t until our two, very tired boys came sauntering over that we realized how long we’d been at the park. The kids were very ready to go home by that point so - with a promise to absolutely get together again soon - we parted ways.
-
To my surprise, Chris didn’t call to see how our little outing had gone until after we’d had dinner. He seemed so worried about me in my ‘fragile’ state that I’d assumed he’d call the minute we arrived home, but he managed to play it cool until I was clearing the table after we’d eaten. Grayson’s face lit up when he saw Chris’ picture pop up on the screen and he’d answered it before I even really registered what was happening.
“Daddy!” He cheered. “Hi!”
“Hey, buddy!” Chris greeted him. “Does your ma know that you have her phone?”
“Yes, I do,” I shouted over as I put the last few dishes in the dishwasher. “I’m just cleaning up, we just had dinner.”
“I’m jealous, I’ve been in meetings all day and I’m starved.”
Moving behind Grayson so I was in the frame of the camera, I frowned at that information.
“You should have grabbed a snack before you called.”
“I know, but I wanted to hear all about your playdate!” He explained. “How did it go? Gray, did you have fun with Jake?”
The grin on Grayson’s face stretched even wider.
“I did! I had so much fun!”
“Yeah? What did you do?”
Grayson eagerly launched into a very long winded explanation of his time at the park, but it was nice to see him so excited about his new friendship. Chris was fully engaged, following him through every detailed anecdote and asking all the right questions and making all the right comments. Once Grayson paused to take a breath, Chris turned his attention to me.
“And did Mommy have fun too?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but Grayson pulled a face before shaking his head and answering for me.
“No, she didn’t even play.”
I snorted out a laugh as Chris gasped dramatically.
“She didn’t?!”
“No, she just talked! The whole time!”
“Ohhh,” Chris nodded as if he’d come to a sudden realization. “Sometimes talking is how mommies have fun.”
Grayson’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“But that’s boring.”
“It is not, Mommy did have fun,” I protested, ruffling his hair as I smiled at the bewilderment in his voice. “But anyway, it’s time for somebody to take a bath and get ready for bed.”
Immediately, Gray’s body language shifted. A scowl slid onto his face as he tensed up and shook his head.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“I know, buddy, but it’s getting late and you’ve had a pretty big day.”
Grayson shook his head again, but Chris came to the rescue.
“I’ve gotta go get some food now, Gray,” he informed him, looking just as disappointed as Grayson did to be saying goodbye. “But I can call you again as soon as I wake up tomorrow and there’s only two more sleeps until I’m coming home.”
Grayson hesitated - clearly debating whether or not he should put up more of a fight - but after a moment, he sighed and hung his head.
“Okay…”
It broke my heart to see him look so defeated, but in my tired and slightly nauseous state, I was relieved that he hadn’t argued too much.
“I love you so much, Gray,” Chris assured him. “I miss you a lot and I can’t wait to be home.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” Grayson offered him a sad smile before blowing him a kiss.
Chris looked almost ready to cry just from that sweet little gesture, but he held it together as he blew a kiss back.
“Goodnight, buddy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight!”
Grayson managed to force out a bit of enthusiasm for their farewell and I hung up the call before scooping him up into my arms.
“Should we have a bubble bath tonight?” I asked Grayson, hoping to soften the blow of saying goodbye to Chris. “With the bubbles that make the water go green?”
A small smile slid onto his face as he nodded and I placed a kiss on the top of his head before carrying him upstairs to get ready for bed.
-
Thankfully, due to the excitement of the day, Grayson was exhausted and made the bedtime process easy by falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. By the time I got back downstairs to where I’d left my phone on the table, I had a text from Chris asking me to call him once Grayson was asleep so I quickly made myself some more mint tea to soothe my stomach before curling up on the couch and doing as he asked.
“Hey, did Gray put up much of a fight?”
“He didn’t,” I assured him, smiling at the concern in his greeting. “I think his big day really tired him out.”
“I bet,” Chris chuckled. “But it went well?”
“Yeah, it was great! The boys had a great time and it was really nice to meet Jake’s mom, Annie.”
“Yeah? She’s nice?”
“Super nice,” I confirmed. “We got along really well and she seems like a really genuine person. I think we’re going to be good friends.”
“That’s great, Win, I’m so proud of you. I’m really glad that you’ve finally made a friend.”
His tone was very condescending, but it was an age old joke with Chris and I knew he was teasing as I scoffed.
“Wow, thanks a lot, jerk.”
“What?” He chuckled. “I’m happy for you! I never thought it would happen.”
The sincerity in his voice had a laugh falling from my lips, but I rolled my eyes.
“I have lots of friends, Chris. Maybe you’ve just never met them because none of them like you.”
“Oh, ouch,” Chris laughed. “Too close to home. That’s probably true.”
“No, it’s not,” I insisted. “I was just teasing.”
“And so was I,” Chris assured me. “But I’m really glad it went well. How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted,” I sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide it even though I felt bad about making him worry. “And a bit nauseous again. I don’t know what I’d do without mint tea these days.”
“Well, at least you’ve found something that helps. Did you eat dinner?”
“A little bit, but not as much as I probably should have,” I admitted. “I couldn’t stomach anything at lunch before we went to the park, but the smell of everything just makes me feel sick.”
Chris let out a sigh and I felt a wave of guilt as I knew that he was busy in L.A. and didn’t need to be wasting his time fretting about my health.
“Are you still losing weight?”
“A little, but I did some research and I really do think it’s normal and should pass,” I insisted. “I have an appointment with my doctor next week and I’ll ask her about it then.”
“Alright,” Chris sighed again. “I’m sorry, Win. I hate to think of you feeling so crappy.”
“It’s fine, it’ll all be worth it in the end,” I smiled, repeating the phrase I’d been telling him a lot lately. “How are things going over there?”
Thankfully, that question was enough to distract Chris from his worries as he very excitedly told me about all the work he’d been doing - most notably the work for the Buzz Lightyear project he was working on. He was like a kid at Christmas as he rambled on about it and I was more than happy to soak in his joy and offer my support when needed. It was a dream come true for him and I was so proud of him for taking it on.
Sooner than I would have liked, he caught on to my yawns as the excitement of the day had been too much for my already exhausted body. With almost as much reluctance as Grayson, I accepted his assurance of a phone call in the morning and said ‘goodnight’ before heading off to bed with a full heart.
Things were going well for our little family and to say I was grateful was an understatement. Grayson was thriving in school and making friends, I’d connected with another mom who seemed wonderful and Chris was getting opportunities that he’d always dreamed of. The baby that would be added to our family in just a few short months was the icing on the cake and I fell asleep wondering how on earth we got so lucky.
-
Part Three
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The Sweetest Devotion
Summary: Pregnancy is hard work. The fatigue, the morning sickness and the strange new aches and pains are bad enough, but the nerves about how a new baby will change your family dynamic can be just as tough. Luckily, for Chris and Whitney, the excitement and love they have for their little baby on the way far outweighs any struggles that could pop up and they’re hopeful that Grayson will feel the same as they navigate their way through the first expansion of their little family.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Part Two
-----
Part Three
Working was always something that I loved. Once I’d managed to wriggle my way into a career that I actually enjoyed, I hardly ever turned down a job because I simply liked doing it and I knew how lucky I was to have the opportunities that I did. I’d missed it throughout the pandemic and - while Grayson was still my main priority - I was hoping to squeeze in a few little photoshoots before I got too far along in my pregnancy.
Which is why when my uncle asked me to stay with them for a few days and take pictures of their quirky windmill house in the Hamptons, I jumped at the chance. It was the perfect low stress contract that I was certain I could manage even with my current state of perpetual nausea, but when the day came I started to have some regrets.
It amazed me - after a year and a half of having Grayson by my side every day - that I ever stood for an arrangement where I only got to see him every other week. The thought of leaving him now, even just for a few days, had me feeling incredibly anxious. Chris reminded me that we’d left him with his mother when I had a photoshoot in New York the year before, but that was no comfort to me after another solid year without a separation. I knew that he would be safe with Chris, I knew that it was just a short trip and I knew that it would be good for both of us to deal with the separation, but it broke my heart.
It didn’t help that I was leaving only a couple of days after Chris had returned from Los Angeles. Grayson was thrilled to have our little family reunited and was pretty disappointed when we broke the news that another separation was just a few short days away.
However, on the morning that I was leaving, Chris seemed to be the one who was more worried.
“Are you sure that driving is such a good idea?”
“We’ve talked about this,” I smiled as I continued packing my bag. “With all the airport hassle, by the time I flew to New York and drove out to Uncle Rob’s, it would take me almost as long.”
My nonchalance seemed to do nothing to ease Chris’ concerns as his brow stayed creased with worry.
“Then I really think I should come with you.”
“You only just got home,” I reminded him. “You should stay with Grayson.”
“He could come too.”
“He has preschool.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like real school,” Chris shrugged. “He could miss a few days and it’s not like he’d fall behind.”
“I know, but it’s important for him to keep his routine,” I insisted. “I really will be fine, Chris. It’s only a four hour drive.”
Chris huffed as his concerned expression shifted into more of a pout.
“It’s closer to five…”
He looked so much like Grayson as he sulked that it was hard not to laugh, but I as I bit back a smile, I crossed the room and stretched up to slide my arms around his neck.
“I’m starting to think that maybe you just don’t want to deal with the stress of parenting alone for a few days.”
My words were teasing and Chris cracked a smile as he shook his head.
“No way, what are you talkin’ about?” He protested. “I rock at solo parenting!”
“I dunno,” I teased. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had to do it for more than an hour or two.”
“Yeah, but I used to have him for weeks at a time and he never had any complaints.”
I knew that Chris was a wonderful father and that Grayson really did love his time with Chris even before we were together, but I couldn’t hold back a smirk.
“Probably because he could hardly talk back then.”
Chris threw his head back as he laughed before shooting me a playful glare.
“You just wait, we’re going to have so much fun that he might not miss you at all.”
I knew that while he was joking, his words were supposed to be offensive, but I simply shrugged.
“Great. I hope he doesn’t miss me. I don’t want him to be sad.”
Chris smiled and leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips before resting his forehead against mine.
“Unfortunately, he will,” he sighed. “Almost as much as I will, but I’m not quite sure about that.”
“It’s just a few days,” I assured him, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck. “It’ll go by so fast.”
“I know and I’m glad you get to work and do something for yourself, but I hate being away from you,” he admitted. “I know that’s selfish because I just went to L.A. for work, but I really do hate it when we’re not together.”
“I hate it too,” I smiled softly. “But it’ll be nice for you and Gray to have some quality time together.”
“And it’ll be nice for you to have some time away from being a mom.”
I wrinkled my nose as I nodded my head.
“It will be, but don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“It’s not a bad thing,” Chris smiled. “Everyone needs a break sometimes and you’ve had less than you deserve in this last year and a half.”
“I’ve had too many lately,” I countered. “With all the morning sickness and general exhaustion, I feel like I’ve been way less involved with him than I’d like to be.”
Chris frowned at that admission and tightened his grip on my waist.
“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me. Even when you’re tired and feel like you’re gonna throw up every two minutes, you’ve gone above and beyond for that kid.”
“I’m trying, but I do feel like I’m not as present and engaged as I should be.”
I glanced up at Chris, almost embarrassed to meet his eye as he stared at me rather sternly.
“Stop,” he said firmly. “You’re an amazing mom and that hasn’t changed. You deserve a few days away even if we’ll miss you like crazy while you’re gone.”
I smiled sheepishly as I stretched up to kiss him again. His words were so heartfelt that it was hard not to find them reassuring and I was grateful to be navigating the complicated world of parenting with someone as grounded and supportive as Chris.
“I’ll miss you guys too. I’ll call and Facetime as much as possible, but please send lots of pictures.”
Chris assured me that he would and I reluctantly slipped out of his arms to finish packing.
It really was going to be hard being away even just for a few days. It had taken a while to get used to Gray being out of the house so often for school, but leaving him completely felt far worse than I’d anticipated. I knew that Chris was right - I did deserve a bit of a parenting break - but if I was being honest, I didn’t really want one. I loved every moment of family time that we had and while I knew that time apart would be good for us both, it was hard to leave.
And it got even harder when I dropped Grayson off at school before setting off on my journey.
He knew where I was going as soon as I left him and while he tried to stay brave, the cracks started to show once I’d got him settled in and tried to say goodbye.
“No, Mama,” he practically whimpered as his lip quivered. “Stay. Stay for five more minutes.”
It was a reasonable demand, but I’d already hung around longer than normal and I knew that five more minutes would turn into ten and then fifteen until he’d convinced me to stay for the entire morning.
“I can’t, buddy,” I frowned as I squatted down in front of him. “I have a long drive so I need to get going.”
“I wanna go too.”
“You can’t. You have to stay with Daddy,” I reminded him. “But you’re gonna have so much fun! I think he said something about pizza for dinner.”
“No,” Grayson scowled as his eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want pizza. I want to go with you!”
He threw his arms around me, holding on so tightly that I knew there was no point in trying to pry him off and I sighed as I rose to my feet and rested him on my hip.
“Grayson, you can’t come with me,” I insisted. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I have work to do. You’d be super bored, you’ll have much more fun with Daddy.”
“No, I don’t want Daddy!” He cried, burying his face into my neck. “I wanna stay with you!”
“I know, but I’ll be back before you know it.”
Grayson didn’t respond, but the sobs that I felt wracking his little body made it clear how he felt about that statement. I let out a sigh and moved towards a chair as I could already feel the exhaustion setting in. By the time I’d shifted him onto my knee and wiped away a few of his tears, Grayson was fighting to get sobs under control.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I cooed. “I’m going to miss you too.”
He took in a shuddering breath, but simply leaned his head against my chest without a single word. It was breaking my heart to see him so upset and I cursed myself for being foolish enough to think he wouldn’t have a hard time saying goodbye when he knew I was going away. We stayed like that for a few minutes, cuddled up together on a chair by the classroom’s entrance, until the door beside us flung open and the answer to my problems strolled into the room. An answer in the form of Grayson’s friend, Jake.
“Good morning, Jake!”
My greeting captured his attention, but as soon as he saw Grayson, the smile fell from his face.
“Why is Gray sad?” He asked as Annie followed him into the room. “Is he okay?”
“He is,” I assured him. “But he’s sad because I have to go away for a few days and saying goodbye can be hard.”
“Oh, dear,” Annie shot me a sympathetic look. “Goodbyes are really hard.”
Jake’s little brow was furrowed in thought until his eyes lit up with an idea.
“I brang some cars today!” He told Grayson, who had managed to stop his tears despite the devastated look still on his face. “There’s a blue one and a yellow one! You can use the blue one! Do you wanna see?”
There was a moment of hesitation as I waited with bated breath until Grayson finally nodded his head.
“That’s really nice of you to share your cars,” I smiled at Jake as I slipped Grayson carefully off of my lap. “I bet you two are going to have so much fun today.”
Jake nodded and informed us that he would be right back before scurrying off to put his things away and find his cars. Once he was gone, Grayson turned back to me with the puppy dog eyes that he got from his father still in full effect.
“I don’t want you to go,” he pouted. “I’ll miss you…”
“I’ll miss you too,” I assured him. “But it’s going to go by so fast and I know you’re going to have fun with Daddy.”
Grayson just shrugged so I pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head. We stayed like that for a moment until Jake reappeared and I let him pull out of my grasp.
“I love you, Grayson,” I told him as I stood up. “Have fun today, okay?”
“Okay, Mama,” he sniffled. “I love you too.”
The defeat in his voice was heart wrenching, but as Jake pulled him away to find a race track for their cars, I saw a smile slide onto his face and I knew he’d be okay as I slipped out the door.
Once I was outside, I slipped off my mask and let out a sigh before a voice from behind me pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Are you okay?” Annie asked as she caught up to me. “I know how hard mornings like that can be.”
“I’m fine,” I assured her. “I should have expected it. Chris just got home a few days ago from his trip to L.A. and now I’m leaving for a couple of days so it’s hard on him.”
“Oh, that is tricky,” she sympathized. “Where are you off to?”
“My uncle’s place in New York. I’m doing a photoshoot for them so it’s more for work than anything else, but it’ll be a good little break too.”
“That sounds nice, a change of scenery is always good.”
“Exactly,” I smiled. “It’s just a short trip, but it’ll hopefully be refreshing.”
Annie nodded in agreement.
“Definitely, but I’ll let you go so you’re not late.”
“I’ve got lots of time,” I assured her, knowing there was no set time I was expected to arrive. “But thank you for checking in, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem,” she shrugged as started walking to our cars. “We’ve all had mornings like that, I know how hard it can be to leave when they’re upset even when you know they’re going to be totally fine.”
“It is hard,” I sighed. “Jake is such a life saver when it comes to helping Grayson calm down on days like this.”
“As I said before,” Annie smiled. “Grayson has helped Jake an awful lot too.”
“Their friendship is very sweet,” I nodded. “And we should get coffee when I get back or organize another playdate.”
Annie stopped next to a car that I assumed was hers and eagerly nodded her head.
“Absolutely, that would be great.”
I smiled at her enthusiasm and after a quick goodbye, we parted ways.
Once I got back to my car, I sent a quick message to Chris to warn him about Grayson’s reaction and let him know that I was on my way before I set off.
-
Despite Chris’ anxiety about my long drive, it was actually really nice - at least, it was a first.
As much as I loved Grayson, there was something to be said for car rides that weren’t filled with a million inquisitive questions from a four year old or the sound of Baby Shark on repeat. It was a refreshing break and quite relaxing, but the boys I’d left behind were in the back of my mind the whole time. I knew that Grayson would have plenty of fun with Chris and that Chris was more than capable of looking after our son by himself, but I found myself feeling a little bit left out. It was a ridiculous feeling - I spent ninety-five percent of my time with Chris and Gray and I knew I wouldn’t miss much being away for just a few days - but despite our unconventional start, we really had become a close little family and time away from them just wasn’t as freeing as I’d anticipated it would be.
Inspired by my flash of homesickness, I pulled into a rest stop not too far from my uncle’s house and called Chris.
“Hey, everything okay?”
He answered almost immediately and I smiled at the concern in his voice before rushing to reassure him.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Are you there already? You must speed more than me!”
“No, I just pulled in at a rest stop,” I informed him. “I miss you guys already so I thought I’d call to see how it’s going.”
He chuckled at my admission and I could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke.
“Wow, Win. You’ve only been gone a few hours.”
“I know,” I groaned. “And I was enjoying my drive with the peace and quiet, but as soon as I realized how nice it was, I realized how much I prefer life with Grayson around.”
“I know exactly how you feel,” he admitted. “The first couple hours when I leave are relaxing and great, but then I just miss him and want to be back.”
“I think it’s just part of being a parent,” I mused. “You spend most of your time wishing you could have some time alone, but then when you get it, it’s just not the same as it used to be.”
“Exactly,” Chris agreed. “We’re domesticated now. The wild days of our youth are behind us.”
“What a tragedy,” I giggled. “Anyway, how is he doing?”
“I just pulled into the school parking lot when you called,” Chris informed me. “So I’m not sure yet, but I bet he’s fine.”
I glanced at the time and nodded.
“Oh, of course, he’s not even done yet. I’m sure he’s fine too though, it’s just hard leaving when he’s so upset.”
“I know, but we’ll have fun. Don’t worry.”
“Well, not too much fun, right?”
“Oh, yeah, not too much. We’ll only have one or two beers. He’s kind of a lightweight so I won’t give him more than that.”
“Ha-ha, you’re so funny.”
My words were sarcastic and Chris chuckled again.
“I’m kidding. We’ll have just enough fun to distract us from how much we miss you, but no more than that.”
The amusement in his voice was clear, but I knew his words were sincere because I knew how it felt to be in his shoes. Whenever he was away, it felt the same - that while I kept things fun, it was just enough to help us forget how much we wished Chris was home.
“Thanks, babe,” I smiled. “I appreciate that.”
He assured me that it was no trouble before changing the subject.
“How’s the drive been so far? How are you feeling?”
“The drive has been fine and I feel pretty good,” I tentatively admitted. “I kept my breakfast down and I’m getting a bit snacky so I think I’m gonna grab some lunch before I head out again.”
“That’s great, maybe you’re past the worst of it now.”
“I think I’m just having a good day.” I smiled at his eagerness for my sickness to be over. “But hopefully you’re right.”
“I hope so too,” Chris agreed. “But I should go get Gray. Message me when you arrive, okay?”
“Yeah, definitely. Give him a squeeze for me.”
Chris promised he would and we said our goodbyes before hanging up. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of the car to get myself some lunch, but it didn’t take long for me to regret that decision.
Almost as if we cursed it by mentioning it when we talked, I only made it about halfway through my sandwich before my nausea came back. I took a few sips of the mint tea that I’d bought just in case, but it was no help so - with a huff of frustration - I tossed the sandwich onto the passenger seat before resting my head on the steering wheel. Knowing that I still had almost forty-five minutes of driving ahead, I took a few deep breaths to try and calm my stomach, but that didn’t do much to help me either. I weighed up my options for a few minutes, hoping it would pass before eventually deciding it would be best to just head out and hope I felt better by the time I arrived.
But I didn’t.
The nausea seemed to ease up a bit at first, but then it came back with a vengeance and by the time I was pulling into my uncle’s driveway, I was fighting it back as much as I could. Not wanting to vomit all over their beautiful front lawn, I leapt from the car, slammed the door behind me and jogged up to the front door. I was filled with relief when it swung open as they must have seen me arrive, but as my stomach turned again, I squeaked out an apology, covered my mouth and ran past my rather confused aunt and uncle as I sprinted to the bathroom.
I could hear their surprised protests and knew they must have been confused, but I had no time to pause and explain as I made it to the bathroom just in time. I threw myself to the ground in front of the toilet - a place I was becoming far too familiar with - and let it all out. I coughed and sputtered as I retched and gagged until my stomach was empty and calm once again. For a brief moment, I was relieved, but then the embarrassment kicked in.
I hadn’t seen my aunt and uncle in months and then the first thing I did when I arrived at their house was run immediately to the bathroom without even saying ‘hello’. That’s not the most polite way to greet your family and I groaned as I dragged myself up from the floor. Pausing at the sink, I rinsed my mouth and wiped my eyes before opening the door, hoping to slink off and maybe crack a joke about needing to pee really badly, but - as I should have expected - they were waiting right outside the door. The glass of water in Susan’s hand made it very clear that they’d heard more than enough to know what I was doing and I accepted it with a meek ‘thank you’, but as they grinned at me in a knowing way, it became clear that they knew more than I thought.
“How far along are you?”
Susan’s question almost made me choke on the sip of water I’d just taken as I struggled to get out an answer.
“What? No! I-um-” I paused to gather my thoughts for a moment before continuing. “It’s just carsickness. It was a long drive and I ate breakfast right before I left.”
Their knowing smiles simply grew as Robert shook his head.
“Whitney, I’ve been around enough pregnant women in my life to know the signs,” he informed her. “And Susan’s been through it twice herself so I’d say she’s pretty much an expert as well.”
Chris and I had agreed to keep it quiet so my first instinct was to keep lying, but I’d always been close to my aunt and uncle and I knew I wouldn’t get away with it for long. So, with a sigh of defeat, I told them the truth.
“I’m about eight weeks,” I admitted. “But it’s top secret information! No one other than Chris knows, none of our friends or parents, so you have to keep it quiet.”
Their grins stretched even wider and they immediately engulfed me with a hug.
“Congratulations!” They cheered almost in unison.
“That’s amazing,” Susan gushed as they relaxed their grip. “We’re so happy for you!”
“We’re pretty happy too,” I smiled. “We planned this one so it’s been very different than it was with Gray. The sickness has been too. I barely had any with Grayson but this time it’s been awful.”
“You do look thin,” Robert admitted. “Your mother wouldn’t be too happy.”
“Well, I’m really hoping that by the time I see her, I’ll be able to keep food down again.”
Susan cringed in a way that told me that she knew exactly how I was feeling.
“Is it that bad?”
“Sometimes,” I nodded. “Some days are okay, but it’s been pretty brutal. I managed to keep my breakfast down this morning, but I stopped for a snack on the way and that set me off.”
“Is there anything that helps?”
“Mint tea, but that’s all and even that’s hit and miss.”
“Well, let’s go to the kitchen and I’ll make you a cup.”
Susan’s instructions left no room for argument and Robert and I followed her down the hall. As we went, I took the time to admire the house and it really was no wonder why it was being featured in a magazine. I’d been there before, but looking at it from a more critical, photography point of view, I had plenty to work with.
“It’s really cool that you guys are sharing your house with the world,” I mused as I sat with Robert at the table. “It’s such an interesting house and you’ve decorated it so well.”
Susan smiled as she filled the kettle.
“I’m glad you think so. We think it’s pretty great, so we hope that everyone else will too.”
“Well, you’re the ones who have to live here,” I shrugged. “So, if the world doesn’t appreciate your beautiful and eccentric tastes then that’s their problem.”
“Exactly,” Robert grinned proudly. “Thanks for doing this shoot. I wouldn’t have asked you to come all the way down here if I knew about your situation. I’m surprised Chris didn't escort you.”
I snorted a laugh at his wording, but shook my head.
“My ‘situation’ is not an issue,” I insisted. “And Chris wanted to, but Gray had school and I didn’t want his routine to be disrupted. Besides, it’ll be nice for them to have some bonding time.”
“Definitely,” Susan agreed. “Especially with another one on the way, that one on one time becomes so important.”
I nodded in agreement despite the flash of nerves that her comment sent through me, but Robert chimed in before I could comment.
“Have you told him yet?”
“Not yet,” I admitted. “We haven’t really talked about it yet, but I think we’re gonna wait until I’m a bit further along. Maybe when I’m showing a bit so he can have that visual aid to help him understand.”
“That’s a good idea,” Susan agreed. “He’s going to be such a good big brother.”
A smile slid onto my face at that comment because I knew it was absolutely true.
“I know, I really can’t wait to see it,” I grinned. “But anyway, how are you guys doing? How are the kids?”
Robert explained that their kids were with Susan’s parents to keep them out of the way for the shoot before they filled me in on everything their little family had been up to lately and I basked in the moment. It was hard being so far away from my family and getting the chance to be around at least some of the relatives that I was close to was comforting in a way that I never realized I needed until I had it and I fully intended to soak up every minute while I was there.
-
Back in Massachusetts, things were going far smoother than Chris had expected. When he picked Grayson up from preschool, he seemed to be in good spirits but Chris was worried that the empty house would remind him that Whitney was gone.
But the anticipated meltdown never came.
Whitney was very missed and there were a few mopey moments - from both of them - but they were embracing the bonding time. They took Dodger for a walk, watched a movie and made pizza together to keep them busy, entertained and happy. Bedtime was a bit rough for Gray without his mama there to kiss him goodnight, but Chris decided to be flexible and let him curl up in their bed with a movie on the TV until he did eventually fall asleep.
The late bedtime did lead to a later start and Chris was surprised to wake up with Grayson still fast asleep snuggled under the blankets beside him and the sight made his heart ache as the puzzled, sleepy expression on his face had him looking unignorably like Whitney. He knew that Gray was practically his twin, but there were moments when he looked a certain way or had a certain expression on his face that brought out the side of him that definitely came from his mother. The pang of longing that thought caused had him eager to slip out the room and call Whitney to check in, but a glance at the clock told him that was a bad idea. It was only seven o’clock and he didn’t want to wake her up early when she had her big photoshoot to focus on later that day so - with a sigh and a quick little self-reprimand for being so clingy - he snuck into the living room in search of a distraction.
His first thought was the TV - possibly some kind of sports recap - or maybe one of the many books he’d been trying to find the time to read, but he found it hard to focus his attention on anything other than how strange it was now to be in his house without Whitney.
With another sigh, his eyes settled on the piano in the corner of the room. It really had been too long since he’d found the time to play it and practicing that would definitely take some of his focus away from his moping so after a moment of thought, he dragged himself over towards it. He had to play softly to avoid waking up Grayson who was just down the hall, but it only took a few minutes for him to get lost in the music. He wasn’t an expert by any means, but it was something that he’d always enjoyed and it was soothing for him in a way that was hard to describe. He quickly lost track of how long he’d been sitting there until Grayson appeared in his peripheral vision and he stopped mid-song.
“Good morning, buddy,” he smiled as Grayson rubbed his eyes and scrambled up onto the bench next to him. “Did I wake you up?”
“No,” Grayson shook his head. “What are you doing?”
“I was playing some music,” Chris explained as an idea hit him. “Do you want to try?”
Grayson’s eyes lit up as the lingering sleepiness suddenly disappeared from his face and he seemed wide awake.
“Yeah!” He nodded eagerly. “How?”
Chris quickly explained what the keys were and how each one made a different sound before letting Grayson fiddle around for a few minutes, pressing whatever keys he wanted to hear the various notes. Once he seemed to understand the basic concept, Chris picked a fairly easy song - Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, so that he would recognize the tune - and walked Grayson through it step by step. It was slow going as it was Grayson’s first time, but the way his face lit up with a proud smile when he realized what they were playing and that he was actually doing it right was one of those moments as a parent that Chris wanted to freeze in his mind forever.
Spurred on by Grayson’s enthusiasm and seemingly natural ability, Chris kept teaching him and they sat there for over an hour until Grayson’s stomach rumbled loud enough to distract them. Realizing that they hadn’t even had breakfast yet, Chris sent Grayson off to wash his hands as he headed into the kitchen to make them something to eat. He still missed Whitney and he was sure that Grayson did too, but he had to admit that having some quality one on one time with Grayson was something he’d missed more than he realized and something he was determined to make more time for in the future.
-
When I woke up the morning after I arrived at my aunt and uncle’s house, I was feeling surprisingly good. I hadn’t woken up with any raging nausea which was quite a relief because of the busy day we had scheduled. I knew they’d be understanding about the situation, but it hardly seemed professional for me to be running to the bathroom every twenty minutes during a shoot and I was hopeful that my stomach might give me a reprieve. I gave myself a few minutes to wake up as I checked my phone, just in case the nausea came back once I started moving, but when it didn’t reappear, I embraced the relief and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
“Hi, sweetheart,” my uncle greeted me when I walked into the room. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m actually okay so far,” I tentatively admitted as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down at the island in the middle of the room. “My stomach didn’t turn as soon as I got out of bed so that’s better than most days.”
Robert chuckled as he flipped the banana pancake in the pan on the stove.
“That’s a win, you have to take what you can get,” he agreed. “I’m happy for you though, Whitney.”
“Thanks, we’re happy too,” I smiled. “It really has been so different to when I found out I was pregnant with Grayson. I was happy about that too once the dust settled, but it was so complicated.”
“It was,” Robert agreed, flipping the pancake onto a plate and sliding it in front of me. I thanked him again and he set to work making another before he continued. “It was rough last time. You seemed terrified.”
He was right, I had been terrified at the time, but I couldn’t help but smile as I flipped it back on him.
“And you seemed furious.”
Robert barked out a laugh as he turned to face me.
“I wasn’t!” He protested. “I was concerned. Or you could possibly stretch that to annoyed, but I was annoyed about you and Chris ignoring your feelings and creating such an unnecessary situation. I was never annoyed that you were pregnant.”
I took a small bite of the food in front of me as I shot him a skeptical look.
“You seemed even more upset than my dad did. I was more worried about how you took it than how he did.”
“I was just upset because I knew how you both felt and neither of you would admit it,” he insisted. “And you should have been more scared of your dad because if it wasn’t for me then you probably would have been forced into a shotgun wedding.”
I giggled at that idea, but shrugged.
“Maybe that would have been handy, we might have a whole herd of kids by now if he had.”
“Is that the plan then?” He questioned. “A whole herd?”
“Chris would probably have a whole football team if I’d agreed to it,” I smiled, but then a thought hit me and after a moment of hesitation, I decided to get some advice. “But I’m a little nervous to be honest, just about how Grayson’s going to handle the change.”
“I’m sure he’ll be a great big brother.”
I nodded eagerly and rushed to explain.
“Oh, definitely. He’s such a good kid, I know he’ll be great. I’m just worried about him feeling left out or neglected,” I elaborated. “How did you guys manage it? The age difference with yours was pretty similar, wasn’t it?”
“Similar, but a bit closer together,” he informed her, taking another pancake out of the pan. “It’s a tricky transition, but I’m sure you two will manage it well.”
“But how?” I pushed. “He’s so used to being the center of our universe. I can’t see how he won’t feel like he’s being neglected or replaced.”
“Because you won’t let him,” Robert shrugged. “It’ll be hard, but you two are great parents and have always put him first.”
I nodded and tried to trust in the words of my uncle who had always been one of the wisest people in my life, but I winced as more doubts came to my mind.
“But what if I can’t put him first anymore? What if Chris has to work and the baby needs something, but Grayson wants attention? I might not be able to drop everything for him like I can now if there’s another human being demanding my attention too.”
Robert turned the ring on the stove off as he had a decent stack of pancakes on his plate and smiled at me in a rather amused way as he pulled a fork from the drawer.
“You’ll find a way to balance because you’re an amazing mother and you love him very much,” he insisted. “And Grayson might get upset a bit at first, but he’ll get used to it eventually.”
“He might get used to it,” I agreed. “But he might resent me for the rest of his life.”
Robert laughed as he shook his head at my dramatics.
“He won’t resent you because he’ll be too excited about his new little brother or sister to hold it against you for long. Have you talked to Chris about these concerns you’re having?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “He’s already so stressed about how sick I’ve been, I don’t want to add anything else to his list of worries.”
“I forgot what an anxious mess of insecurities you two are,” he teased. “But it’ll all be fine. It’ll be different, but it’ll all work out in the end. And if you have worries like this, talk to your husband and work through it.”
“Fiancé,” I corrected with a smile. “We’re not married yet.”
“Ah, close enough,” he shrugged before taking a bite of his breakfast. We sat in silence as he chewed, but once he swallowed he spoke again. “You’re an amazing mother, Whitney. I’m not just saying that, you’ve impressed us all, and I have no doubt that you can handle this next step just as well as you navigated things the first time around.”
His words were so genuine and heartfelt that it almost brought tears to my eyes. One conversation wasn’t enough to erase all of my worries, but knowing he had such faith in me definitely made me feel a little more confident in myself and I flashed him a grateful smile as I mumbled out a sheepish ‘thank you’.
The conversation moved on after that to more lighthearted things until we realized the time and had to briefly part ways to get ready for the day. I found myself feeling very reassured though and was feeling more and more grateful that I’d decided to take this job. Spending time with my uncle always seemed to help me clear my head and I was glad they’d found out about our little secret even if I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.
-
The photoshoot that day went incredibly well. The people from the magazine were lovely to work with and by the end of the day we had several beautiful pictures for them to use. I promised to have them edited and sent over by the following weekend and it felt wonderful to be working again and flexing my creative muscles. I was, however, notably more exhausted than after a normal shoot - especially such a casual one - and almost as soon as I’d had dinner and called to say goodnight to Grayson, I went to bed.
The next morning, I was eager to get home to my boys even after only a couple of days away so I set off fairly early. It was hard to say goodbye to my aunt and uncle as it always was, but they promised to come and visit us soon and I was determined to hold them to it. I skipped breakfast - settling for a simple travel mug of mint tea just in case anything else made my stomach turn - and I managed to make it all the way home without any unscheduled stops. I felt giddy as I pulled into the driveway, almost as if I’d been away for months, and I practically skipped into the house, desperate to see my little family again.
I opened my mouth to shout out a greeting as I swung open the door, but the sound of soft piano music floating down the hall stopped me in my tracks and piqued my curiosity. The ever-vigilant Dodger came running towards the door, his tail wagging happily as soon as he saw me, but after giving him a quick cuddle, I headed off to see what Grayson and Chris were up to.
When I found them in the living room, the sight made my heart melt.
Chris and Grayson were sitting on the piano bench, playing a simple but beautiful melody. Grayson was playing the keys on one side - just a few little notes on repeat - as Chris handled the more complicated part at the other end. They clearly hadn’t noticed my arrival and I took the opportunity to sneak a quick video while they finished the song. As the final notes rang out and Chris turned to praise Grayson for how well he’d done, I finally made my presence known as I started to clap.
“Oh my gosh, that was amazing!” I cheered. “Have you two been practicing all weekend?”
Both their heads shot towards me with almost identical matching grins on their faces.
“Mama!” Grayson squealed. “You’re home!”
He frantically scrambled off the bench and sprinted towards me so fast that I barely had enough time to squat down and catch him as he threw himself into my arms.
“Hi, Gray,” I smiled, squeezing him close. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, Mama! Daddy teached me the pi-nano!”
“I heard that! You sounded so good!”
“Thanks,” Grayson grinned. “It was hard, but I did it!”
I bit back a laugh at his confidence as I stood up and ruffled his hair.
“It is hard,” I agreed, looking over at Chris. “But you had a good teacher.”
Chris shrugged with a smile on his face that made my heart skip a beat as Grayson nodded eagerly.
“He’s the best!”
“He is and I missed him very much too.”
That comment drew a chuckle from Chris and he slowly stood up before crossing the room towards me.
“I missed you too,” Chris assured me. “More than I thought I would.”
“Oh? You didn’t think you’d miss me?”
Chris laughed as he slid his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him.
“That’s not what I meant,” he insisted. “But it was really hard being in this big house without you around.”
“It was hard being away,” I assured him, stretching up to place a brief kiss on his lips. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grayson scurry back towards the piano and as a few broken notes filled the room, I took the opportunity to fill him in on what I’d done. “I might have also maybe kinda spilled the beans a little bit.”
My admission had Chris’ eyes narrowing into a hard stare, but the amused smile on his face led me to believe I wasn’t in too much trouble.
“You told them about the baby?”
There was a slight hint of judgement in his tone and I wrinkled my nose as I nodded sheepishly.
“I tried to lie,” I insisted. “But I threw up as soon as I got to their house and they’re smart people, Chris. They figured it out immediately.”
Chris chuckled and shook his head, but after pressing another quick kiss on my lips, he shrugged.
“I don’t mind, but does this mean that I can finally tell Ma?”
His question made my heart sink, but I knew that I couldn’t really argue now that I’d told someone - or at least confirmed when they guessed. I was going to nod and tell him it was okay, but he picked up on my hesitation and cut me off before I had the chance.
“It’s okay if you don’t want me to,” he assured me, his words sounding genuine and sincere. “It’s just been hard to keep it a secret.”
“I know,” I smiled. “I know you tell her everything and I know it must be killing you to keep this from her, but I was really hoping that we could tell Grayson before we tell everyone else. I obviously broke that rule though so I understand if you want to share the news with someone.”
“It wasn’t a rule and you didn’t break it,” Chris insisted. “You can’t help that you’re sick and it’s a pretty logical assumption to make, I’m not surprised they figured it out. But we can keep it under wraps for now. I think you’re right about telling Gray first.”
“I’m glad you agree,” I breathed a sigh of relief. “But how was your weekend? Did you guys have fun?”
“We did,” Chris grinned. “We missed you, but it was nice to have some time with just us boys. And he did really well, he only asked when you were coming home about eight times yesterday so I think that’s pretty good.”
“That’s great,” I smiled, looking over at Gray where he was banging on the piano. “I really missed you guys too and I’m glad that I’m home.”
Chris placed a kiss against the side of my head as he murmured his agreement, but before he could say anything else, Grayson shouted over to us.
“Mama, can you do it?”
“Play the piano?” I clarified as I slipped out of Chris’ arms. “No, I can’t.”
Grayson frowned briefly at that admission, but it didn’t take long for a grin to slide onto his face as an idea clearly popped into his head.
“I can teach you!”
Chris chuckled at his confidence as I bit back a smile, moving over towards the piano.
“I would love for you to teach me,” I told him. “What song can you show me?”
He paused for a moment before answering.
“Twinkle Twinkle!”
“Perfect,” I smiled. “You show me how it goes first, okay?”
He nodded and Chris sat down on his other side before he started to play it very slowly, but almost entirely correct. It was impressive, but the best part of the performance was the pride on both of their faces. I felt my heart swell at the sight as I basked in the feeling of being home and made a mental note not to take anymore jobs that would take me away at least for a little while.
My career had always been important to me and I was lucky that our previous situation had given me time every other week to focus on work without missing out on any time with Grayson, but now it just didn’t seem as worth it if I was going to be away from my family. My younger self would have been shocked, but as I glanced at the two boys by my side as they carefully walked me through how to play the song, I knew that my priorities had shifted and I was happy that they had.
-
Part Four
Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @mjey12 @denisemarieangelina @elrw24 @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @trottae17 @annvail
The Sweetest Devotion Masterlist
Summary: Pregnancy is hard work. The fatigue, the morning sickness and the strange new aches and pains are bad enough, but the nerves about how a new baby will change your family dynamic can be just as tough. Luckily, for Chris and Whitney, the excitement and love they have for their little baby on the way far outweighs any struggles that could pop up and they’re hopeful that Grayson will feel the same as they navigate their way through the first expansion of their little family.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Status: Complete
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Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Part Eleven
Part Twelve
The Sweetest Devotion
Summary: Pregnancy is hard work. The fatigue, the morning sickness and the strange new aches and pains are bad enough, but the nerves about how a new baby will change your family dynamic can be just as tough. Luckily, for Chris and Whitney, the excitement and love they have for their little baby on the way far outweighs any struggles that could pop up and they’re hopeful that Grayson will feel the same as they navigate their way through the first expansion of their little family.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Part Seven
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Part Eight
Girl.
A girl
We were having a girl.
The holidays had come and gone rather peacefully. We embraced our final Christmas celebration as a family of three and spent plenty of time with as many of our friends and family as we could fit in, but January soon came around and so did my ultrasound appointment - the one that would determine the gender of the newest addition to our family. The morning of the big day was quite chaotic as we tried to get Grayson ready for school while also trying to manage the excitement we were both feeling at the thought of getting to see our little baby again, but as soon as the appointment started and our baby popped up on the screen it felt like the whole world slowed down.
The heartbeat was strong, the baby was active and developing right on track, and it was a girl.
Chris was practically giddy when the doctor gave us the news, fiercely gripping my hand and fighting back the tears that were welling in his eyes and, at first, I matched his enthusiasm. I was fighting back my own tears of joy as my mind raced with excitement about all the possibilities that the news presented us with. The potential for that strong mother-daughter bond, the fun girly activities that Grayson had no interest in, the thought of Chris having tea parties and playing princesses - there were plenty of things that had me practically bursting with excitement - but there was an undercurrent of fear bubbling below the surface and by the time we were walking to the car, as the news sunk in, I was filled with anxiety.
I hadn’t put much thought into whether we were having a boy or a girl because I didn’t think I particularly had a preference - as long as the baby was healthy and happy, that was what was important - but now that we knew, I felt less sure that I didn’t care. We had a boy already, I knew what to do with a boy - how to bond with him, things that he might be interested in, how boys think and play and communicate - but a girl was a whole new ballgame, a whole new list of struggles and things to learn, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for that challenge.
I could feel myself spiraling into panic, but as I looked over at Chris once we were settled in the car and I saw the huge grin of pure joy on his face, I tried to quiet my anxiety.
“I can’t believe we’re having a girl,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I would have been happy either way, but it’ll be nice to have a girl to balance things out.”
“You think so?” I questioned, smiling at his enthusiasm despite my nerves. “Don’t you think it would be kinda easier to have another boy? Since we know what to expect already?”
“Nah,” Chris shrugged. “Even if we had a boy, he could be completely different to Grayson and I think it’ll be fun to see the differences and similarities with a girl.”
“And you’ll have someone to watch the Little Mermaid with.”
My words were teasing, but Chris’ eyes lit up.
“Yes! Exactly!”
His eager agreement was followed immediately by several rambled plans and ideas for all the things he wanted to do with or teach our daughter and his exuberant delight was contagious. I couldn’t help but giggle and go along with all of his wild daydreams, but as I let my hand rest on my stomach and felt our daughter moving under my touch, I still couldn’t shake my worries from my mind.
I really didn’t want to damper Chris’ mood by sharing any of my reservations and I knew he had some work that had to be done when we got home so - feeling the need to clear my head and try to find a way to work through my nerves - I headed out again almost as soon as we got home. I told Chris that I needed to get some things from the store before I picked up Grayson and headed out for a drive to work through my thoughts.
Half an hour later, I realized that my solitude had had the opposite effect and I’d managed to work myself into an even more anxious state. I knew that I needed to find someone who I could share my concerns with and talk through the doubts I was having, but I surprised even myself when I ended up parked outside of Lisa’s house. Desperate for someone with experience to ease my worries, it made sense for me to turn to her and I was relieved that some part of my brain still seemed to be thinking clearly. I was also relieved that Lisa was usually home on Friday mornings and her car was parked in the driveway so - before I could change my mind and leave with my fears still festering - I climbed out of the car and headed towards the house.
“Whitney, hi,” Lisa greeted me, the surprise on her face clear as she opened the door. “I wasn’t expecting you, is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I assured her. “Better than fine actually, but I was wondering if you had a few minutes to chat? I’d love to pick your brain about a few things.”
“Of course! I’m here anytime you’d like to talk,” she smiled. “Come on in.”
She led me into the kitchen and offered me a variety of drinks as I settled at the table. A moment later she joined me with two glasses of water, setting one down in front of me before sitting on the other side of the table.
“So,” she started. “What’s up?”
“Well, we had an ultrasound this morning,” I smiled. “And we found out that we’re having a girl.”
A grin immediately burst onto Lisa’s face.
“Oh my gosh, that’s great! Congratulations!”
“Thank you. We’re pretty excited,” I admitted. “But, if I’m being honest, I’m kinda freaking out a little bit.”
The smile stayed on Lisa’s face as she sipped her water.
“Freaking out about what?”
“Just, like, a bunch of things. Like, uh…” I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts before taking a deep breath and blurting out the root cause of my concern. “I just don’t want to let her down.”
“What makes you think that would happen?”
Lisa was always easy to talk to and I was comforted by the lack of judgement in her voice.
“I think it just feels like more pressure,” I confessed. “When I was pregnant with Grayson I read something about the strongest role model in a child’s life being the same-sex parent and while I know that I’m just as important to Grayson as Chris is and that Chris will be just as important to this baby as me, I feel like suddenly I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders and I don’t know if I can live up to it.”
Lisa nodded and took a moment to ponder my words before responding.
“Well, first of all, I think that belief isn’t necessarily true. There may be some things that girls learn from their mothers, but I don’t think the pressure should ever be on one parent more than the other to be a good role model,” she informed me. “But even if it was, you absolutely can live up to that responsibility, Whitney. You’re an amazing mother and it comes so naturally to you.”
There was something about how genuine her tone was that put a smile on my face.
“Thank you, it’s sweet of you to say that, but I know I’ve made some questionable decisions in my life and while I don’t think there’s many things that I would change, I don’t think I’d want our daughter to follow in some of my footsteps.”
“Like getting pregnant from a one night stand with a man who then broke your heart?”
Her words were teasing, but I felt a blush rise over my cheeks as I nodded.
“Yes, but in my defense, I didn’t know it was going to be a one night stand.”
“Oh, I know,” Lisa chuckled. “I wish you could have heard the stern talking to that I gave Chris when he told me what he’d done. I was absolutely furious.”
A laugh fell from my lips as I could imagine that scenario very easily. Chris had briefly told me how it went down, but as loving and kind as Lisa was, she wasn’t one to mince words when she felt like something needed to be said and I was fairly certain that she was harder on Chris than he ever let on.
“I appreciate your support,” I assured her before adding what I’d told his friends too. “But I think, however difficult it was at the time, it made us stronger. The time apart helped us know how badly we wanted to be together and the constant miscommunication that led to that situation in the first place has helped us learn how to talk to each other now.”
Lisa nodded with a knowing smile on her face.
“That kind of proves the next point I was going to make,” she informed me. “Everyone makes questionable decisions in life. Sometimes it works out for us and sometimes we crash and burn, but those risky choices help us grow as people. Your daughter might not follow exactly in your footsteps, but no matter what you and Chris do, there will be times in her life where she does something downright stupid and all you can do is help her through it.”
I smiled at Lisa’s honesty, but deep down I knew that it was true. It was nerve wracking being a parent and no one ever wanted to see their child go through anything challenging, but when I reflected on my own life I did have to admit that - within reason - those challenges are what help shape people.
“You’re right,” I agreed after a moment of thought, feeling a hint of relief at the edge of my panic. “Were you scared when you found out that Carly was a girl?”
“Absolutely,” Lisa admitted. “I was terrified. The world can be a tough place for girls and women, but Robert and I helped both our girls through it the same way that I’m sure your parents helped you and the same way that I’m sure you and Chris will help your daughter too.”
“It just seems so scary,” I sighed. “And what if she just doesn’t like me? I see how close you are with Carly and Shanna and I have a really good relationship with my mom. I want that with her, but what if we just don’t bond?”
“I’m sure you will. Why wouldn’t you?”
“I dunno,” I shrugged. “What if our personalities just clash?”
“They may at times,” Lisa warned, but the soft smile on her face was comforting. “But I’m sure overall, you two will be just fine. I disagree and butt heads with my kids all the time - Chris in particular, if I’m honest - but at the end of the day if you give them lots of love and a bit of understanding then things usually work out okay. I’m sure you’ve found that with Grayson.”
“That’s true, I have,” I nodded. “He’s pretty great, but he definitely has his tough moments too.”
“Oh, I’ve seen it,” Lisa chuckled. “But you just find a way to work through it.”
“I know,” I sighed again. “This whole pregnancy has just had my anxiety on edge. I was thinking about it on my way here and I think I just feel a lot more pressure because we planned this one. I know that sounds so stupid, but with Grayson it was more like ‘okay, we’re in this whether we like it or not and we’re just going to have to do our best’ and I felt like I was allowed to be clueless because I was so unprepared.”
“But with this baby you feel like you went into the situation knowingly so you have to have it together right from the start?” Lisa waited for me to nod before continuing. “No one expects that of you! Every child is different and has different challenges. It’s impossible to have it all together from the beginning, but I know that you’ll figure it out with this baby just like you did with Gray.”
“I hope so and I hope you don’t think that I’m not happy about this baby,” I rushed to clarify. “I am really happy! And I’m thrilled that it’s a girl. It just gets overwhelming sometimes, I guess.”
“That’s understandable,” Lisa assured me. “You’re going through a big change right now, there’s a lot to think about and it’s easy to get caught up in your fears, but I know that you will be fine. You really are a great mom, you’ve built such an amazing relationship with Grayson and he just adores you so I have no doubt that the same will be true with this little baby too.”
I let out a deep breath of relief as I flashed her a smile.
“Thanks, Lisa. I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you, but I needed to get it off my chest and you were the most qualified person I could think of.”
“I’m happy you reached out,” she assured me. “I know it must be hard with your family being on the other side of the country, but you’re family to us too now and I’m happy you feel comfortable talking to me about things like this.”
“I’m so grateful that you’re willing to listen. I honestly couldn’t have asked to be marrying into a better family.”
“Well, we’re very lucky to have you too,” Lisa smiled as a twinkle shined in her eye. “But anyway, if your worries are somewhat eased for now, let’s talk about happier things. Like, have you two picked out a name yet?”
I laughed and shook my head, but I really did feel like she’d put me at ease. The sheer panic that I’d been feeling by the time we’d gotten home from our appointment had dulled into a mild apprehension and as we transitioned our conversation into all the fun and subtle differences between having a boy versus a girl I felt much more like everything was going to be just fine.
-
When I got home with Grayson after picking him up from preschool, Chris and Dodger eagerly met us at the door. Chris scooped Grayson up into his arms and asked him about his day as I happily greeted Dodger before we sent both boys into the kitchen with the promise of a snack. Once they were out of sight and earshot, Chris pulled me into his arms before I could follow them and I relaxed into his embrace until he spoke.
“Are you feeling better?”
I leaned back to look at him with my shock probably written all over my face.
“Did your mom call you?”
“My mom?” Chris chuckled as he shook his head. “No, but it was obvious that something was bothering you. You ran out of here lookin’ pretty panicked and you claimed that you were going to get groceries, but you’ve come home without any.”
He shot me a smirk as he spoke and I matched it.
“What if they’re in the car?”
“Are they?”
“No,” I admitted. “I was panicking a little bit, but I ended up at your mom’s place and we had a really nice conversation. She calmed me down completely.”
That information put a big smile on Chris’ face as he pulled me even closer to his body.
“She’s pretty great at that, isn’t she?” He murmured, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I am,” I assured him. “And I’m really excited that we’re having a girl. I just needed a moment to wrap my head around it.”
“I get it, it’s all good,” he smiled. “To be honest, I’m freakin’ out a bit now. I have no idea what girls like and what if she wants to watch Frozen all the time? It’s my least favourite Disney movie!”
I snorted out a laugh at his obviously very serious concerns and slipped out of his grasp.
“I dunno, I guess you’ll just have to let it go.”
I shrugged and tried to play it cool, but as Chris chuckled and cringed, I couldn’t help but giggle at my own joke.
“Funny, Winnie, very funny,” he shook his head. “Just wait until you’re doing Elsa braids all day long, then we’ll see who’s laughing.”
“Unless she’s a daddy’s girl and only wants you to do it.”
The grin on Chris’ face shifted into one of pride at the thought.
“I would do it happily, but I’ll brace myself for the disappointed sighs and claims that Mama does it better,” he teased. “Anyway, should we tell Gray the news?”
“I guess so,” I smiled. “Do you think he’s going to be super disappointed?”
“Maybe a little, but he’ll get over it,” Chris shrugged. “I think he’ll like having a sister and it’ll be good for him in the long run. I think having sisters definitely helped me understand women a bit better.”
“That’s true and I’m sure she’ll adore him and want him to teach her everything he knows even if it’s not ‘girly’ things,” I nodded, rubbing a hand over my growing bump as my heart clenched at the thought of Grayson supporting his sibling and passing on all his knowledge. “Gosh, I really can’t wait, Chris.”
He looked at me with glassy eyes and I knew that he was thinking the same thing as I was. It was scary to expand our family, but I knew it would be worth it and I was so excited about all the new memories that we would get to create.
“I can’t wait either,” he agreed, taking my hand in his and lifting it to place a kiss on my knuckles before flashing me a smirk. “Let’s go ruin Grayson’s day.”
A laugh burst from my lips as I protested his choice of words and let him lead me into the kitchen. Grayson was sitting at the table, waiting patiently for the snack that we’d promised so we sat down to join him.
“So, Grayson,” Chris started. “We got some news today that we wanted to share with you.”
“Oh?” He smiled at us. “What is it?”
I glanced at Chris before answering.
“We found out that the baby is a girl!”
Grayson stared at us for a moment, his eyes flitting from me to Chris and back again before he shook his little head and eventually blurted out his response.
“Oh, fuck.”
The sound of such a word leaving Grayson’s mouth had me shocked, but his tone and perfect delivery had me biting my lip to hold back a laugh as Chris jumped into action.
“Hey, whoa, that is not a word that you should be using, buddy.”
Grayson’s brow furrowed in what appeared to be genuine confusion.
“But Mama says it all the time!”
My jaw dropped at that claim as Chris burst out laughing, shaking his head at me.
“I do not,” I protested. “When do I say that, Gray?”
“A lot,” he insisted. “When you drop stuff or when we’re late.”
Chris clutched his chest as he laughed while I huffed. I always tried to be careful with my language around Grayson and I thought I was fairly successful, but he’d clearly heard it somewhere and if he was armed with examples of when I’d used it then I knew he was probably right.
“Well, I shouldn’t have done that,” I admitted. “It’s not a nice word and even though grown-ups say it sometimes when they get really frustrated, it’s important that you don’t say it too because it can hurt people’s feelings, okay?”
“Okay, Mama,” he nodded. “I’ll try.”
I smiled at him as Chris finally got his laughter under control and refocused our conversation.
“Having a sister isn’t a bad thing, Gray,” he insisted. “I have two, remember? And we have lots of fun together.”
“Maybe,” Grayson sighed. “But girls don’t like dinosaurs, girls just like princesses.”
“That’s not true,” I argued. “Some girls like princesses, but some like dinosaurs too. Girls like lots of things.”
Grayson’s brow furrowed into a worried little expression as he looked at me.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I smiled. “I’m sure she’ll love for you to teach her all you know about dinosaurs and everything that you like.”
He seemed to be quite soothed by my assurances as he nodded his head.
“Okay,” he finally decided. “It’s okay that it’s a girl.”
Chris and I chuckled at his resigned agreement and I stood up to make him his snack, pausing briefly to kiss the top of his head.
“I’m glad that you’re okay with it,” I smiled as I moved towards the fridge. “Are you hungry too, Chris?”
“Hmm, what were you thinking of making?”
I rolled my eyes at his answer, but turned to Grayson.
“What do you want, Gray?”
“Peanut butter and jelly!”
“Okay,” I nodded. “We can do that. Maybe with some carrot sticks and hummus?”
Grayson eagerly agreed and Chris shot me a smirk.
“I think I’ll just steal some of Grayson’s.”
“No!” Grayson protested, a scowl sliding onto his face. “I don’t want to share!”
I could tell that Chris was just winding him up and I turned away to hide my amusement and start preparing his lunch.
“But I’m not hungry enough to eat a whole sandwich,” Chris argued. “Can I just have a few bites of yours? And maybe a couple of carrot sticks?”
“No, Daddy,” Grayson said firmly. “You can have your own. Mama, I don’t want to share!”
“Not even one bite?” I teased, amused by how he so fiercely hated sharing any of his food. He’d been like that all this life and considering how generous and kind he was about almost everything else, I’d always found it funny. However, as he frantically shook his head, I took pity on him. “Okay, buddy, you don’t have to share even one bite. If Daddy wants some food, I can make him his own sandwich.”
Grayson smiled as Chris sighed dramatically and reluctantly agreed, informing me that he didn’t want a sandwich and promising not to steal any of Gray’s. Once I’d made lunch and sat down with them, I brought up something Chris’ mom had mentioned as Grayson ate.
“Now that we know it’s a girl, we should start thinking about what to name her.”
“That’s true,” Chris smiled. “Any ideas?”
“I like the name Isla,” I mused, thinking back to the baby name book I’d recently skimmed through. “But I think I prefer longer names so we can shorten it to something else like Grayson and Gray.”
Chris nodded in agreement as he looked very deep in thought.
“What about Olivia?” He suggested a moment later. “We could shorten it to Liv.”
“I don’t really like Liv,” I admitted, wrinkling my nose. “I do like Olivia, but she would naturally get called Liv and I don’t like that.”
Chris accepted my reservations openly and without taking offense and I was relieved, but not surprised. Even when we were trying to think of a name for Grayson - when we weren’t together and things were somewhat strained between us - we’d done very well at being supportive and not taking it personally when we disagreed about certain names and I was glad that was continuing.
We had another person’s opinion to consider this time though and even though I knew that Chris and I would get the final say, we wanted him to be a part of it. He let us know that he wanted to be included too as he piped up with an idea.
“Jake!” Grayson blurted out so suddenly that it took us a moment to realize he was offering it up as a suggestion. “My friend Jake is really nice and maybe that name will make the baby nice too!”
I giggled at his reasoning as Chris answered him with a smile.
“I’m not sure Jake is a great name for a girl. Some names can be for boys or girls, but Jake isn’t really one of them.”
“Some boy names are cute for girls,” I agreed. “But I think Daddy’s right and it would get confusing, wouldn’t it? How would you know which Jake we were talking about if your best friend and your sister had the same name?”
“Oh, yeah,” Grayson nodded in understanding. “That is confusing!”
I smiled at his willingness to help before another name from the book popped into my head.
“What about Victoria?”
Chris immediately pulled a face and shook his head.
“I have a cousin named Victoria,” he told me. “And she’s…not a very nice person.”
I nodded and pulled out my phone to see if I could more name suggestions online when Grayson chimed in again.
“How about Ariel?” He said, his words dripping with as much sarcasm as a four year old could muster. “Because Daddy loves The Little Mermaid.”
I snorted out a laugh as Chris’ eyes widened at the judgement that had just been thrown at him before flashing me a smirk.
“It’s not a bad name,” he teased. “I could get used to that.”
“No one would be surprised, but I think that’s a bit much,” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, Ariel Evans doesn’t sound right to me.”
“I dunno,” Chris grinned. “I think we should keep that one on the short list for sure.”
Now it was my turn to pull a face and Chris laughed as Grayson’s expression matched mine.
“I was just joking,” he insisted. “That’s silly, Daddy.”
“It is silly,” I agreed. “I think we’ll have to take some more time and give it a lot more thought before we decide.”
“Alright, alright, I guess we can keep thinking about it,” Chris relented with a smirk. “I mean, I’m gonna keep Ariel in mind, but maybe we’ll have to wait and see what suits her when she’s born.”
“That’s true, but I would prefer to have a few options lined up,” I told him. “I don’t want her to be nameless for too long while we decide.”
Chris agreed and we all promised to keep it in the back of our minds until we could come up with a name that everyone liked.
-
Despite that decision, I couldn’t stop pondering about a name. Grayson’s had come so easily, but it seemed like I could think of far more girl names that I didn’t like than those that I did. It wasn’t until I was relaxing in the bathtub later that evening after Grayson was in bed that it hit me. As I repeated it softly to myself, I knew in my heart that it was the perfect name and I leapt from the bath as fast as I safely could, needing to share it with Chris as soon as possible. I was terrified that he would shoot it down, but I loved it so much that I really couldn’t see how he would have any arguments. I dried myself off quickly before borrowing his bathrobe and rushing into our bedroom where he was relaxing on the bed watching TV.
“You okay?” He questioned, an amused smile on his face as I burst into the room. “You look kinda frantic.”
“I’ve thought of a name!” I announced. “And please, think it over before you shoot it down because I really think it’s perfect and it’s okay if you disagree, but give it a chance, okay?”
“Of course,” he nodded, muting the TV and sitting up to give me his full attention. “What’s the name?”
I took a deep breath and flashed him a smile.
“Isabella Mae Evans.”
I could see Chris taking it in and I was relieved when he didn’t immediately disapprove, but found myself nervously cracking my knuckles as I waited for a response. He repeated it back to me as if testing out how it felt as it rolled off his tongue and I rushed to explain how I’d thought of it as if that would help sway him.
“I was thinking about what Grayson said - about how much you love The Little Mermaid - and while I don’t think particularly like the name Ariel, I know you also love Beauty and the Beast,” I hurried to get my words out. “Belle led me to Isabelle, but I think Isabella is kinda prettier, but her nickname could still be Belle and that could be your little Disney tribute.”
Chris chuckled at my somewhat rambled explanation, but shook his head.
“I don’t need there to be a Disney tribute in our daughter’s name,” he assured me. “I was just joking earlier when Gray suggested that.”
“I know you don’t need it,” I smiled. “But I thought you might like it.”
“Honestly?” Chris grinned at me, making my heartbeat pause as the anticipation of what he was going to say next had my palms sweating. “I love it. Disney connection aside, I think Isabella is a perfect name.”
I felt my whole body relax with relief as I quickly crawled across the bed to throw my arms around Chris. It was a slightly awkward angle at first, but he chuckled and pulled me so my legs were draped over his lap with his arms around my waist as he leaned down to place a kiss on my lips.
“I’m so glad you like it. As soon as I thought of it, it just felt right and I would have been so disappointed if you hated it..”
“I love it,” he repeated. “I like the Mae part too, where did that come from?”
I felt myself grow a little sheepish as I worried that he wouldn’t like it so much after I explained. I was definitely open to changing it if necessary, but I felt like it had a nice ring to it and it was a tribute of my own that was fairly important.
“It’s Hannah’s middle name,” I admitted. “Grayson has your name as his middle name and I don’t really want to use mine - nothing really feels like it goes with it anyway - but Hannah’s like a sister to me so I thought it could be a little nod to her. I know you guys have a rocky relationship so I know you might not approve, but it would mean a lot to me and it does sound nice with Isabella.”
Again, I felt myself fill with relief as Chris smiled and nodded his head.
“It does sound nice,” he agreed. “And I think that’s a nice idea.”
I stretched up to place another kiss on his lips as I felt a wave of love and adoration towards him wash over me.
“Thank you,” I murmured against his lips before pulling away. “She’s done a lot for me over the years, she’s got my back no matter what and I know that she will absolutely always be there for our kids. Plus, she’s the one who convinced me that having another baby wasn’t a terrifying and awful idea so it just feels right.”
“You don’t need to justify it,” Chris assured me as he slid one of his hands into my robe to rub my bump in the mindless way he did whenever we were close enough. “I think it’s a sweet idea and it works perfectly.”
“I’m so glad you agree,” I grinned, moving my hand down to cover his. “Our little Isabella Mae.”
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
Chris lifted his eyes to meet mine with a look on his face that made it clear he felt like the luckiest man in the world. And in that moment, I felt exactly the same.
All my earlier fears and panic seemed so unnecessary because I knew in my heart that the amount of love that Chris and I already had for our daughter and the amount of support that we had from everyone who loved us would get us through almost anything. It wouldn’t always be easy - her and I might not always see eye to eye and we might not always agree with the choices she made in life - but with so many people in her corner, I had no doubt that she was going to be just fine and we’d get through the journey together as a family.
-
Note: I’ve had the name picked out for so long! Please let me know what you think about it! :)
Part Nine
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