This is for the-led and zackystardust; mostly for you, Zack, because you’re the one who knows me and who I was good friends with for quite a long time.
You know who I am and what I’m like. You know that I’m generally an upbeat and kind person. You know that I stand by my friends and help them; I’ve helped you innumerable times, never asking for anything in return, because you were my important friend and that’s all I needed to know. I want you to keep this in mind because all that I’m about to say now will seem out of character for me because I don’t ever intentionally say things that I know will hurt people, unless they’ve irrevocably hurt someone I care for. And I know how horribly you’ve hurt Kiko. I’ve been meaning to get this off my chest for months now, and now I have the impetus to do so.
Let’s start this whole thing off by telling you, the-led, that I was the one who sent you the anonymous ask calling you out for the half-truth you so carefully worded in your response to someone else, claiming that Kiko broke up with you and Zack and leaving it at that as to why your relationship ended. This pissed me right the hell off, and thus I sent my ask quickly and out of anger about how tasteless and classless you were. I have absolutely no problem telling you it was me, and I would have done it off anon in the first place except I was worried that doing so would upset Kiko or drag her into unnecessary drama, and god knows that’s the last thing she needs at this point. I’m telling you this because I was informed that you assumed someone else had sent it and jumped the gun by then sending them an ask belittling them and accusing them of something they had no knowledge of. Believe it or not, it would seem that there’s more than one person who continues to be disgusted by your actions and has no tolerance for your lies. Fancy that, huh? Now before I address your deceptive answer, I want you to know who I am. My name is Amber. I’ve been friends with Kiko and Zack since I met them both at a convention while I was still a teenager in high school. I’ve known them for about six years now. When I moved to Orlando for college, we started hanging out frequently and over the years became good friends, and spent a lot of time together. We’ve shared laughter, games, events, writing, food, and pain. I met you briefly once at a convention, but I can’t say that I know you personally. What’s important is that I know the role you played in ending the relationship between Zack and Kiko, and how you acted like a conniving, immature homewrecker.
You said of Kiko that “she broke up with us even though we both attempted to repair things with her” and I want to make it transparently clear that when you realize the person that you are in a relationship with is having an affair, it is right and typical to call things off; everyone would agree to that. That’s what she did. And if you for a second think that what you and Zack were doing with each other wasn’t a full-blown affair, then you need a reality check. You entered into a polyamorous relationship with two people who had been together for seven years, and managed to destroy their relationship in a matter of months. I have absolutely no problem with poly relationships, IF they are consensual, healthy, full of good communication and mutual respect, and have logical ground rules that everyone follows. And you violated almost every single one of those aspects. As I understand it, you all started out fine. What changed is that you and Zack began exclusively showing affection for each other and shafting Kiko, isolating her and not including her in various aspects of the relationship. I don’t need to elaborate much here, because you know what you did, and I know what you did because Kiko has told me many disgusting details of how you two left her out and flaunted your physical affection right in front of her, in the same room for Christ’s sakes. I trust Kiko, and moreover, she’s shown me texts that corroborate everything she told me because I had a hard time believing that Zack could do something like that.
Zack, I want you to know that as someone who long considered you a close friend and a good person, someone who saw the passion you had for your dreams and the and love you had for Kiko, and so long listened to your troubles and provided counsel and believed in you as a human being, I am absolutely sickened by what you did. You have lost every ounce of my respect. Do you know how fucking painful it was for Kiko to sit there and watch you and Laura fall in some sort of whirlwind of passion while leaving her behind and keeping her off to the side like a discarded good? To enter some honeymoon phase with a new and exciting lover and discard everything that you had built up with her over so many years? Oh wait, yes, you did know it was painful for her, because she blatantly told you. Over and over. And you decided not to care so that you could continue to enjoy your harem with your reliable girlfriend and your new fucking squeeze. I can’t even imagine how used, disrespected, and hurt Kiko must have felt to watch the man she loved make the decision to focus his affections solely on a different woman. And this is why I CANNOT stand seeing the-led call Kiko manipulative and obsessive. What a crock of shit. Everyone who knows Kiko knows that she is nothing but the sweetest, friendliest person. She is bright and bubbly and headstrong and has done nothing but be good to Zack and support him. I should know; I watched her do it for years.
The only manipulative one I see is the one who coerced Kiko into allowing you two to do things in the bedroom while out of town without her despite her clearly stating that she was not comfortable with that, the one that decided she was only interested in Zack in the middle of the relationship and actively sought to exclude Kiko under the hope that she could be with him exclusively, the one that decided to accuse Kiko of being abusive and manipulative and therefore undeserving of the same attention despite possessing those qualities herself. Spoiler: the-led, I’m talking about you. You calling Kiko deceptive or manipulative is humorous since it’s like the pot calling the kettle black. You are the one who forced her into a corner where her only options were to either remain in an extremely unbalanced, unfair, and demeaning relationship with you two or break it off. She couldn’t ask Zack to end it with you and stay with her because she didn’t want him to resent her if he was forced to go back to being monogamous (which by the way is still supremely fucked up), and so after numerous times telling him that she wasn’t okay with what was happening, she made the brave decision of calling it quits. Good for her. Zack, since you’ve shown your true colors, she’s better off without you and you don’t deserve her.
You want to sit back and let your brand new girlfriend say that Kiko was holding you back and stifling your potential? Go ahead. It’s a lie, and I hope that deep down, even to some extent, you know that. She’s not responsible for your simpering ass. She stood by you through the worst of times and you reward her by letting the person you allowed in to sabotage your relationship poison your view of her and gaslight you into thinking that Kiko was the one holding you back. The only person responsible for the years you spent stagnant, crippled, and unsuccessful was you and don’t you ever fucking think otherwise. I watched you wither and waste your years away and I saw Kiko try her best to help and motivate you, the same way I did, the same way I’m sure others did. You are the only one responsible for yourself. You’re driving and working now? Good for you. It’s not because you left Kiko; it’s because she left you, and you decided that rather than bearing the pain of being alone without her, it was better to remain in your shallow relationship with your new girlfriend and run away to a new place with her in the hopes that it would make it all okay. I think you are a coward. I think you shouldn’t get to be all blissful and carefree and carrying on with a new relationship built on deceit while you left your former mate, the love of your life or so you said, with nothing but heartache and ashes. I hope that what you did haunts you. I hope that you wake up in the middle of the night and think of what I’ve written and that it makes you sick to your stomach.
Since I feel that both of you probably have some pagan values, I want you to remember that what you reap you will sow, and what you put out into the world will come back to you, thrice if it is harm. Well, you’ve sure as hell harmed Kiko. I hope that fact leaks like poison through the cracks of what you think is your shiny new picture-perfect relationship. I hope that if you ever try to return to Kiko with your tail between your legs when something happens to your love life that she spits in your face. See, the beauty of this is, I don’t give a fuck what either of you think of me. I’m an outsider in all of this, driven to write this out of the rage and sadness I feel for Kiko and I wouldn’t want to touch either of you with a ten-foot pole. This is the second time in my life that I’ve ever wished ill on someone and both times it was because I could not forgive how they treated my friends, whom I value above all else. Zack, I think you made the biggest mistake of your life and once you realize that, I hope you regret it forever. the-led, I don’t know you. I can only judge you based on the part you played in all of this. I’m happy that I could tell you how I feel about this as Kiko’s friend, and on her behalf since I feel like you both got off scot-free and I’m here to play the villain to make sure you don’t get to skip away all sugar-sweet and carefree without someone reminding you of the harm you’ve done and the price you’ve paid to be where you are now. Your relationship is one built on coercion, lies, heartbreak, and infidelity, and with a foundation like that, it’s not hard to guess what will eventually await you. I hope these words echo in the backs of your minds like a cancer you can’t cut out.
