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https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B7LomlEpnPm/?igshid=1rgr8ifpdm6b
Now I learned for my own self when Pastor Peter defined love. To love imperfect people and seek their highest good. When I let go of the boys I have loved before, I called them boys for two of them are half my age. I let go because I know this is the right thing to do. I do not want to steal their youth and their own respective chances to marry the wife of their youth. To have children and family that I may not be able to give to them. It is painful yes, but I don’t want to waste my pain. If I will be broken, I want to be broken before God. I still do not know what the future holds, but I had been dwelling in this pain for too long. It’s about time to break camp and move on, just in the days when the Israelites were in the wilderness of the dessert. God was faithful to guide them with the pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night. I have to move with the clouds. I have to keep going forward. I know I am not alone, God designed my family. My own family and my church family. My work at the office is also my extended family. The thing with family is, it is not perfect, but I am reminded that my first calling, my first ministry is my family. If I were to serve, I have to serve my family first. Be it at home, at work or with other love ones such as friends or perhaps in the future a better half. That for me is the One, The One thing that matters most from the One Who cares for me no matter how impatient, no matter how stubborn and imperfect I am. https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B7JFdphJnlz/?igshid=193034clmbvhn
This is not a setting sun but a rising full moon, the first for the year 2020 if I am not mistaken. As the sun sets at the other side of the building, I was sitting down in marvelous view of the rising full moon in all it’s glory from the east. I was by the pool side when I finished this blog, God indeed have His own extravagant ways to amazed us. Who am I? I am just a dot, a speck in the vast universe, yet God loved and cared for us. Every time I see spectacular creation like this, I am just but in awe that indeed God pursues us, God have His ways to make us His children smile and say in the midst of our busyness and toil - yes Lord you got my attention and in You I have found my joy no one on earth can fill. https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B7JBmg-J7Oj/?igshid=192hh9rjcsebu
So what is that one thing I have put fort before God, meaning what is that one thing I have prioritized more than God? The message this Sunday was “The One Thing”. It is the story of Martha and Mary. As I listened to Pastor Peter Senior, as he holds back his tears towards the end of his talk. I my self can’t hold back my tears from the inside. Here I learned that I some how have become Martha, I have become a human doing instead of human being. I have dwelt on what will I do to impress God and Kevin, yes Kevin who never loved me since day one. Yes the Kevin I have put on the pedestal and bowed down unknowingly, unintentionally. How I have pushed and tried harder and harder to win my bosses approvals, just to hear my most coveted validation and affirmation. Martha is doing the right thing, Pastor Peter continued, but one thing is not right - she’s complaining, she’s no longer happy, Martha was no longer happy in serving God, she lost her joy. I have lost my appetite to go to work, I would rather stay at home - in my own world, in my own deep dungeon. Until it became automatic, just when I wake up every morning, I will look for all the likes and comments on facebook. Whether who have seen “my story” or “my day” on social media. To check from time to time who have “hearted” my posts on instagram or do I have a new follower, then if my follower count goes down, my whole day now becomes gloomy. “But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”” Luke 10:40-42 NASB https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B7AM8L0JTKc/?igshid=gvezhbbuxrwn
The following working day Monday, I emailed everyone telling them I will be on leave. But the truth is I will join the church wide prayer and fasting. What a way to start a year! A break up, a heart break... really? but does my heart aches for what breaks the heart of God? Maybe I had been nurturing this pain for too long... I have dwelt with all failed relationships in the past. It’s about time to break free and pursue what matters most - The One and no one else. https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love (at Katipunan Avenue) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7ALLoipzhf/?igshid=l33jr4rdg1sh
That every messages I send to Kevin is just “seen”, that despite of frequent checks I receive no replies. That I stalk for him, if he’s online and all the hurt of being ignored and neglected in that chat room. But there’s the other story of Mary, the bible says, only one thing is necessary, Mary chosen what is good and this shall not be taken away from her. Unlike Martha, Mary was undistracted, she was totally focus on Jesus - her sitting at the feet of Jesus is intimacy. Yes Mary found her joy, her true joy in Jesus. That joy that no one can take away from her. That joy so fulfilling that she gave up her chance of getting married, by pouring everything she had, that whole year salary worth perfume she poured to anoint Jesus feet. Lifting her vail, that she no longer cares what others will say, bypassing the culture when the only one should see a woman’s hair is her husband. All she knows, all she care about is to be intimate and find her delight in the presence of her Master and Savior. All along I thought Kevin was the one... the only man I will hold on to. I have pursued my own way for happiness with the man I thought will make me happy. After all the emotional turmoil, God honored my faith when I went out of my comfort zone. Just as God did not make no apologies nor explanation to Job why? God gave Himself. Today I received God Himself, because the only One, The One Thing, The One Thing necessary that will never be taken from me is God alone... God Himself alone. https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love (at Quezon City, Philippines) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7AI1vvJl_Q/?igshid=1aiz42xhxwthm
Love is patient. God has been patient, he’s been patient and will always be for you and me. Who am I to give up? God will see me through, not only from loosing Kevin, but in every area of my life, be it financial, physical, emotional, mental and ultimately spiritual. My part is to live a godly life, not perfection, but a life that is surrendered, repentant and righteous - to please no one but God. My part is to acknowledge my responsibilities, own up to my actions and leave the rest to God. My part is to understand what I can and cannot do, what is within and beyond my control. So that one day when God calls me home, I may be able to hear Him say somehow... welcome my good and faithful servant, enter rest with your Master. So will I go on to live as if money, belongings and career are my masters? It is about time I live intentionally with the little time and resources that’s left for me. After all when life comes to an end, it is not between me and them, it is between me and God. One day I will give an account to God... so I guess this is the purpose of life - to be fully accountable to all of what God has entrusted us, be it relationship, money, talent. One day, on that wonderful day... when I die only then will I start to live in eternal peace with the lover of my soul. Until then, until such time, may God find us all faithful. https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B6sbZWVJmxn/?igshid=lalrgnbm8xz9
My first time to cook zucchini pasta 🍝 #cookingselfie Left alone again in my condo unit I just thought of going back to something I love doing- to cook! When God said love is patient, most of the time, we thought of loving outwardly as in being patient with people we all choose to love. But the road to recovery requires not only patience but submission to the process as well. That recovery and keeping a strong mental health is not an end state but an ongoing process of our lifetime. So let’s go ahead and take care of our own selves so if the time comes, if that day comes, we are ready to care for others. Not a question of if, but when. Ok let me have a sip of my red wine 🍷 https://thebeachbumlady.blog https://my.w.tt/15lZX947BZ #thebeachbumlady #wattpad #wordpress #blog #blogger #personalblog #travelblog #single #solotravel #islandgirl #beachbum #journey #celebraterecovery #glorioushope #ministry #ccfmain #ccf #palawan #boracay #beachplease #philippines #book #iphonephotography #photography #travelphoto #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B6pVVqVJZWZ/?igshid=l6zj2mgnvmxv
