leave the heartbreak behind – (younghoon, k.)
genre ㅡ ⋆ sweetheart!younghoon comforting you
word count ㅡ ⋆ 2.8k
synopsis ㅡ ⋆ heartbreak sucks, but a friend of yours, younghoon wants to comfort you out of it.
⋆ masterlist | request/ talk?
You can’t believe this
The fourth Goddamn time
In one year
Stupid enough to let one come and go
Walking down the street once your last class ended whilst wrapping yourself with your arms, feeling not only anger tried piercing your soul, but the chilly air in this chilly evening tried piercing your bones as well. You were angry, so angry you don’t know why you couldn’t cry. You felt betrayal, disappointment, and anger trying to engulf you fully. Somehow, if you don’t try oppressing them, you just knew your anger would burst out any minute by now.
You’d say today was a good day, up to lunch break. The thing was, you were about to tour around school in search of your friend, Kevin, when you saw a group of people crowding by the lockers. You thought it was just another beef at school and people just can’t skip the moment but, no. Halfway through the crowd, you can easily spot the crowd of attention was no other from Lee Jeno, asking a girl out. Not sure of her name, though everyone at school probably knows her for being so pretty. Sieun, a close friend of yours who happened to also witnessing the incident then noticed your presence, trying to pull you away from the crowd but you did it faster anyways; storming away from the cheering flock of people. Who even is Lee Jeno at the first place?
On first glance, you’d probably think Lee Jeno acts the way he looks. Handsome jock who has his own table with his friends on the cafeteria and would be the noisiest table every lunch break. You’ll spot him on every party, and everyone knows him. You do perceive him as that kind of guy; who thinks his looks and his social status represents his whole personality himself and would fuck and kiss anyone he like. Then after being assigned to a partnered group project, you were amazed of his personality and interests, and for a moment think he’s okay. Though if it all ended like this, you’d agree Jeno does act the way he looks.
It all started normal at first. The group project ended with marvellous outcome and then you started talking, like normal friends do. Then would continue to texting every day, or even phone calls and FaceTime. Then it’s a hanging out together kind of stage, just the two of you, him going to your place, cuddling in your room while watching Netflix, then falling asleep next to each other. You caught feelings, and he made it seemed obvious that this would lead to something. But you were wrong.
Jeno sort of disappeared after a month of the close untitled relationship. Since the basketball team are preparing for a tournament, you suppose Jeno was just tied up with practicing, and he just had a few to little time to contact you. You were kinda upset, but thought it’s just nothing to bitch about therefore welcoming him back with open arms once he made his return to you. The blossoming untitled relationship filled with lovey-dovey acts made its return as well. It’s only a matter of week before Jeno disappeared once more for whatever the reason is. By this point, you were just so sure of yourself that Jeno was just around to play with your feelings and there’s no point on accepting him back when he made another return. Then you decided to ignore his texts and calls, also him at school.
Then there’s this one day, where you would hang out with your girlfriends. Going out for burgers and milkshakes, then would just spend the entire evening talking and laughing. It felt nice, moreover just ghosted by someone, and just have a support system lingering around your presence and made you smile, also feel good about yourself. Saerom, one of your girlfriends drove you home and upon arriving home, you didn’t even reach the stairs when you heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was Saerom, maybe you left something in her car but opening the door, all you see was Jeno. You tried your best to keep your eyes in once place, in other words; not rolling your eyes, but failed. Your eyes rolled automatically. Surely he has no self-respect after leaving you hanging around like that.
“Are you mad at me?”
ㅤㅤ
He shouldn’t even question it. You are mad, undoubtedly. You sighed out in annoyance, hoping that it would at least make it obvious enough for him. You almost turned around to close the door, but Jeno’s grip landed on your wrist.
ㅤ
“I miss you.”
ㅤㅤ
Shocked, actually, but best to try to make it look cool. You still have a glare plastered to your face. Not shocked to know the fact that Lee Jeno missed you, judging how he’s basically the needy party on the untitled relationship, but it was the sudden confession that made you shocked. He followed up with a sigh, saying that he’s just really busy with practice and didn’t have time to contact you, but he missed you, and he didn’t wish for any of this to stop. Jeno said it’s better to stay this way, at least you can have each other on company, and bomb out love and affection. To think of it, you can actually just shut the door right in front of his face, but his words bewitched you, that’s why you just pulled him to a hug.
ㅤ
Few days passed; it was all back like it used to. Though you just can’t help but feel something weird whenever you woke up and sleep thinking about Jeno. Even though you didn’t express your concern to any of your friends, you just knew you should follow your gut feelings. After more days of thinking, you finally decided to turn the table and give Jeno what he gave you; ghosting him. He asked for an explanation, you didn’t give him any. Then around two weeks after, you saw it. Jeno asking out the popular girl by the lockers. Unbelievable, you thought. A relationship that you’ve always thought of starting with Jeno didn’t probably even cross his mind as he left you hanging for months as well as ghosting you two times. And now, right in front of your nose, you’re witnessing him asking a girl out on an official relationship? Didn’t he say he was busy?
You kicked the pebbles along the road. You didn’t want to go home, you’ll probably cry out in anger, you needed something to distract your mind. Then upon seeing an empty park with a swing set on it, you knew you wanted to go there. You thought maybe some alone time could at least help you, then you made your way there.
Sitting down on the swing set, you gently rocked yourself back and forth while your attention glued to your shoes. Kids are probably at home at this hour, judging how the park that’s usually so crowded with little feet running around, joyfully playing with each other is now empty. You love the ambience; chilly, lonely, quiet, and no one’s around. Well, maybe.
“Rough day, huh?” slightly jolting up in surprise, you turned to look over your shoulder and saw Younghoon. Letting out a small smile, Younghoon then sat on the swing set next to you. Once he had settled down on his sitting position, you answered out to him.
“You probably don’t know what rough is.” You said, fiddling with your fingers. From the corner of your eyes, you could see that Younghoon responded with a smile, as he also rocked his swings slowly back and forth.
Talking about Younghoon now. A classmate of yours, a friend of yours, also a friend of lots of your friends. Some said he liked you but— he doesn’t really show it? That’s why you chose not to believe them and kept being friends with Younghoon. He’s a nice guy and had similar music taste as yours, that’s why you talked a lot with Younghoon, even before your untitled relationship with Jeno. Not only a nice guy with a similar music taste, he’s also funny, though sometimes how he acts and thinks is just plainly weird, you just think that’s one of the aspects why he’s funny.
Then not long, the rumour of Younghoon liking you started spreading like wildfire, then it turned kind of awkward. Not for you, but for him. It’s kind of sad for you to see Younghoon turning awkward around you, and had lessened his interaction with you. Moreover you started getting close with Jeno, Younghoon stopped talking with you. You then quickly blamed on your friend, Kevin, for being the one who is 100% sure of Younghoon liking you and always assuring you that he’s an awesome guy to date. Kevin probably is the one who started the rumour judging how he’s so obsessed on setting you and Younghoon up.
“Strawberry milk?” Younghoon asked, out of the blue, taking out a bottle of strawberry milk out of his backpack. You turned to look at him, slightly laughing, taking the milk before thanking him. You always drank strawberry milk whenever you’re feeling on a blue mood, how does he know?
“How do you know?” you asked, sipping the strawberry milk. Once the sweet taste dominated your tongue, you let out a sigh of relief as the sweetness just fixed half of your worries attached to you half of the day. Younghoon snickered, continuing to rock his swings, letting his attention roam ahead of him
“I just… knew you said that to Kevin.” Younghoon answered, turning his attention back to you with a smile. Quite a sweet smile he has.
Silence wrapped, like how it was before Younghoon arrived. It seemed like neither you nor Younghoon know what you should talk about. The strawberry milk is a really good mind distractor. You remembered what Younghoon implied to. You were talking with Kevin, a random talk, then it reached to a topic about food de-stressors. Kevin said spicy food, while I said strawberry milk. Then you suppose Younghoon heard you from that conversation. While the silence still wrapped, you just knew that another conversation wouldn’t be needed to be engaged, until Younghoon cleared his throat then you immediately looked at him.
“You’re… heartbroken right?” what Younghoon asked made you stop sipping on the milk. You then paused, not giving him an immediate response of his question. Bold for him to assume that you’re—
“It’s just the way you look at him earlier.” Younghoon continued. Judging from his expression, you could slightly take a hint that Younghoon regretted saying it, then quickly pressed his lips to a thin line and looked forward once more. You just let out a bitter smile, sipping the milk once more
“Some days you just don’t feel like smiling, Younghoon. And that works the same for looking at a certain person.” You answered, still managing to find a proper answer that comes out as an excuse. Though he is not fully right, you just can’t help felt a negative energy strongly building inside of you upon seeing Jeno asking the girl out.
“You’re jealous of them, right?” He assured. You continued rocking your swing set back and forth, placing the half-drunk strawberry milk on the ground. Your lips formed a slight pout. So slight you hope Younghoon didn’t notice.
“Those freaking months he said he was busy, but he asked a girl out once I stopped caring.” You finally confessed, turning to look at Younghoon, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset.” Younghoon turned to look at you, scanning your facial features while his feet still slowly rocked his swing.
“You’re being denial.”
You scoffed slightly, running his attention away from him. Nonsense. You’re not heartbroken, moreover being jealous. Why would Younghoon assume such things—
“Who doesn’t fall in love with a person who gives you love and attention for such a long time?” You then heaved out a sigh, finally giving out on Younghoon’s statement. You are being denial, what Younghoon said was true and he had some points. Due to the anger and hatred that engulfs you right now, you just felt that you’re angered by Jeno, but silly you didn’t even ask how your heart felt. If you looked deep down, yes, you are in fact heart broken.
“Look,” Younghoon paused, checking on the time on his phone, before running his attention back to you, “I don’t have much time since my little brother’s alone at home…” Younghoon said, retrieving both his hands to the swing chains, looking at you. The cold wind blows, and it pierced to your skin and bone even more, and you wanted to go home, but Younghoon seemed like he’s dead serious about this, and you should really take this serious too. Who knew his next words may have some points like earlier?
“I don’t know if you’re okay with comforting…” Younghoon said, his eyes wandering to other spots as he slightly bit his bottom lips. Once the boy heaved out a sigh, he looked at you once again.
“You’re… pretty!” Younghoon exclaimed, having your eyes widened in surprise. Upon seeing your shocked expression, Younghoon then immediately proceeded on his words, “You’re awesome, (name). I mean— Yeah, you’re an amazing person. You’re cheerful, and is capable of bringing comfort to your surroundings.” Younghoon paused between his sentence, blowing out some air in nervousness, “You’re also strong. I know you’re hurt deep down, but you managed to keep smiling and to not cry, really, I adore you for having this kind of personality.”
“You’re worth it… and try not to be denial about feeling the pain… it helps you overcome it fast.” Younghoon said, flashing out an awkward grin before throwing his gaze elsewhere to mask his embarrassment upon the ‘lecture’. Though, it might be useful for you at the end.
You can’t help but form your lips into a curve of smile upon hearing the complete sentences he just delivered. The simplest things can make your day and make you smile, and Younghoon’s affirming words really plucked of the thorns punctured to your heart, “Thank you, Younghoon. For thinking so—”
“You’re welcome!” Younghoon said, cutting in mid-sentence. Once realizing he cut off your sentence, he pulled out a surprised expression as well as covering his mouth, slightly bowing his head as an apology. Laughing upon his cute reflect, you pat your shoulders as he let out a cheeky laugh.
“Yeah, I mean I thought I was about to get some negative hours this night, but your words just encouraged me to do otherwise, thank you.” You said, as Younghoon blushed out of nowhere. You laughed at him blushing all so sudden. How cute he is.
“Yeah… just remember. Though you have lots of friends, you can hit me up whenever you need someone to talk to…” Younghoon stuttered, letting his hand scratched the back of his head. You held back both chains before nodding upon hearing that, “Copy that!”
“Anyways,” Younghoon said, looking back to his phone as he showed you the time. It’s running late and Yohan might remember that he has a little brother waiting for his return at home, “Brother’s waiting, gotta run,”
“I see, I’ll be staying here for a moment. You go ahead.” You said, Younghoon smiled before standing up, wiping the dust off of his shirt. Well, he didn’t roll around, so you suppose he only did that to kill time.
“It’s just— remember that lots of people love you, and don’t let a single asshole bring you down,” Younghoon said, flashing out another cheeky smile before walking closer to pat your shoulder, “I’ll be going.” Younghoon waved, started walking away.
You smiled, as you watched your figure walked further and further and eventually disappear from your sight. Come to think of it, even though it’s just a small, simple talk, it really meant a lot to you. Younghoon assuring you that you’re worth it, and how amazing you are as a person, also saying you shouldn’t be denial about it. Feel the heartbreak, but you should immediately stand away from it. Then to the part where he said lots of lots of people love me. It’s true, come to think of it. Jeno is an asshole, that’s final, you won’t change your mind. Despite of that, you’re worth way more than him, his attention that he gave. You’re worth more than the tears, the worry, as well as the negative energy Jeno impacted on you.
You stood up, crouching down to pick the half-drunk strawberry milk as you walked to where your house was. While you walked down the quiet road, you still thought about Younghoon’s words. Until one sentence rang through your head; remember that lots of people love you. It somehow made you sure about something, that you always have been denial about since the assumption was first mentioned;
Kevin might be right about what he is so sure about.