#thefallingskye

[beelucidity]

Gosh I miss my boyfriend… I mean ex-boyfriend…. oh god, I think I’m going to start crying…

[beelucidity]

So let me tell you a thing about Long Distance Relationships.... They hurt a lot. Both physically and emotionally. Like, for example, I have not physically seen my boyfriend for nearly three years, and we've been dating for a year. I've never kissed him or held his hand. And I like closeness. I really do. That part sucks a lot. I haven't been able to be with him the entire duration of our relationship. And sometimes, I just want to be held by him when I'm upset or crying. But with over a thousand miles between us, it is impossible. But ya know what kinda sucks the most for me, at least? Nights. At night, I just want him so much. And not in a sexual way, either. I want to hold and be held by him. I want to tangle my legs in his while we talk under the blankets before bed. I want to cuddle close to him and lay my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. I want him to run his fingers through my hair as I drift to sleep. I want to kiss him softly and whisper I love him. I want to fight away any bad dreams he has. I want to know that for once in our relationship, we're both a peace, together. Nights may just be the hardest for me. But I work through it. We work through it and wait for the day when we don't have to wait anymore. I can't wait for the day when I can kiss him and hold his hand and hug him and fall asleep in his arms. I can't wait for the day where all the waiting is over. I can't wait until the day where I can show him just how much I love him. But, for now, we only have communication, but one day we won't. I love him and he makes the pain of a long distance relationship worth it.

[beelucidity]

Sometimes I actually feel really bad because I know that I am not what my boyfriend is "attracted" to physically, at all. (But he still finds me extremely attractive, don't get me wrong. I'm just not at all his ideal woman...) I always wonder what would happen if he met someone with a similar personality as me, but looked more like what he is attracted to... I just really fear that he'll leave me for someone else I've of these days...