alright! got an idea that lived rent-free in my head since July, so if i get to suffer, you all get to suffer with me
TDWT and the EX-files episode, but because it's area 51, weirdness happens
so in the middle of the challenge, Owen accidently bumps into a machine with portal and what happens? three kids from THE FUTURE comes out of the portal. well, technically one teenager and two kids.
and yes, they are Duncney kids because somehow, things got better after years of therapy for adult!duncney and Gwen. Duncan and Courtney got married after seven years reconciling and yeah, Gwen lives with them because it turns out that she loved both of them platonically (seriously, give me some aroace gwen!)
so the kids obviously knows Gwen as their cool Auntie Gwen who paints all day, takes them out on concerts and movies, and lets them order pizza, eat loads sugar and stay after midnight whenever she babysits
future-Courtney ends up not becoming a corporate lawyer or politician (because letting her shitty parents dictate and rule her life was a massive red flag), but she is a respected university professor in law. and yes, she is very happy with her life and she doesn't regret finally standing up to her parents, cutting off contact and live her own life.
future-Duncan also has a better life; he started at working at autoshops and eventually earned enough money to earn his tattooing license and has now his own tattoo parlor shop. he still listens to heavy metal and rock, still has piercings (not facial anymore, he outgrew them), has slightly longer, black hair (he stopped dying his hair, partly because he outgrew it and partly because it costs money). he works out daily at their home gym and has his arms tattooed with his own designs.
he also have a very popular youtube channel where he pulls pranks at their nasty neighbour and HOA president (50% botox, 50% silicon, 100% evil) who won't stop badger Courtney about her "disgraceful husband, ill-mannered children, her badly kept lawn and her chunky body figure". (and he takes big offense if some fake-tanned blonde, nasty queen bee talks ill about his wife and kids!). Gwen helps out with the pranks sometimes too.
back to present time aka TDWT: the Area 51 episode
everyone has to many questions, like how did Duncan and Courtney get together after such a nasty breakup which they all saw? turns out...the kids actually don't know.
and now...introducing the Duncney kids!
Maxine "Max" she's the eldest daughter and insists to be referred as a teenager, not a kid. she's fourteen, she looks exactly like Courtney except she has Duncan's black hair. she's a bit uptight and bossy and very short-tempered, but she's very clever and is good at find solutions. she's very annoyed with her younger brother's antics and frustrated that she has to think of everything.
Harmon he's the middle child and only son. he's twelve and as of physically appearances, he's a mix of his parents; he has Courtney's complexion, hair color and freckles while he has Duncan's eyes and nose. he's cheerful, energetic, chaotic and often causes trouble, but he's very confident that everything will eventually work it. he usually says to "don't worry about small things".
Eleonora "Lele" she's the youngest daughter. she's eight, almost nine, and she's the little princess of the family. she has has Duncan's black hair, although a bit curly, and Courtney's eyes. she also have her mama's freckles and she has her father's sense of humor. she acts very cute and sweet, but she fools everyone because she's a little terror and likes to do mischief.
okay back to the drama
being the eldest daughter, Maxine knows more about her parents' "messy past" than her siblings, so she's really rude to Gwen and her currently-teen-delinquent future dad.
Courtney is having very mixed feelings. she's not in the best mindset or emotionally stable ever since Tyler revealed "the Gwuncan kiss". but then she looks at her children and feels a surge of maternal instinct. Lele, her youngest future child, is overjoyed to see her "mami" again and hugs Courtney. Harmon isn't far behind her and jump-hugs his future mom.
Maxine is very annoyed and yells at them "YOU TWO! STOP ENJOYING THIS!" and it's sorta revealed that this whole time-travelling mishap is because Harmon couldn't keep his hands to himself when they were visiting "Aunt LeShawna and Uncle Harold" and Harmon just had to touch Harold's weird 'temporal distortion' machine.
all Duncan takes from this is "so Harold fucked up?" and Harmon just nods with a big smile.
Maxine: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! Who asked you to touch everything you see?! I gave you one job! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! Why can't you do as you're being told to?! Harmon: Well, then why was it so easy to pick the lock to his office? Uncle Harold should've thought of that. He knows who our dad is. :) Maxine: ... Harmon: What's the matter? Cat's got your tongue? :D Maxine: I don't care what mom says, I'm gonna kill you little shit! Harmon: Mom! Dad! Max is trying to kill me again!
fyi, Duncan can't stop laughing because his future kids are hilarious. he completely forgets about how he and Gwen apparently doesn't last. and he really wants his kids to exist (he nearly thought he wouldn't be able to have any) and he's not exactly completely over Courtney.
except it kinda sucks that his eldest daughter is antagonizing him and trying to hit him with a baseball bat.
and while Maxine and Harmon are bickering, Lele has found some green paint and is trying to dye her hair to be like her daddy
(don't worry, Gwen did damage control, removed the paint bucket from her, picked her up and walked off like a seasoned babysitter)
Courtney goes through all five stages of grief when she realizes that her own children are chaotic lunatics. she doesn't even snap when Gwen (she hesitated for a moment) gently pats her shoulder as comfort.
Courtney: This is it...I'm doomed. I'm fated to have four damn kids...a delinquent moss infestation to husband and three children... Gwen: Maybe it's not all that bad? It seems like you're pretty happy with your life in the future. Courtney: ... Gwen: What is it? Courtney: You seem to take it pretty well that you and the ogre isn't staying together for long. Gwen: Kinda shocked me first, but I guess I can trust future me's judgement. And it can't be that bad to be their cool auntie Gwen.
don't worry, i didn't forget about the others; Owen is so happy that they worked it out that he's crying loudly. Heather remarks that here's the downfall of humanity; kids with Duncan and Courtney's dna. Alejandro is certain that the kids' existence will distract everyone long enough for him to win. Sierra has a field day about "Duncney surviving despite everything". Tyler and Cody takes bets if Maxine will become so pissed off that she eventually rip out someone's spine with her bare hands.
...everyone mutually agrees to not let Chris McPain to find out about this (sweet thought, but it's a losing bet. he will find out and he will cause more drama on purpose. don't worry, he'll wish he didn't once the three kids are done with him.)
on a funnier note; Duncan has never been happier to hear that none of his future kids are the slightest interested in his family's cop tradition ("YES! suck on that, old man!") and Courtney is clinging to the hope that any of her kids might be interested in a respectable profession at some point ("or maybe I should just be grateful is no one of my kids is a juvenile delinquent.")
anyho, let me know if you want a continuation of this au or not :P