during a large family gathering you like being around people, but not too many of them. as long as your favorite cousin is there, and you only have to say your polite hello-how-are-you’s everything is at peace in your world that only a few are invited to. silence is golden and you prefer observing instead of talking over everyone. I guess in this season, we can call this a guide to being an introvert during the holidays.
(source: Instagram @spiritualstoner)
when you ask my friends about me, they will tell you I have a loud laugh, I’m fluent in sarcasm, and can sometimes act bat-shit insane*. You’ll hear that I am passionate and vocal about it, and I don’t have much of an attention span for gossip, or people who tend to create problems out of thin air. when you ask acquaintances about me, they will tell you I am kind, that I am helpful, “not a social butterfly”. and then you’ll have the random person who says I’m mean because I’m not super chatty with them and apparently they’re entitled to a conversation.
I come from a culture that doesn’t believe in personal space, but thrives off of high expectations of others. or you can just say my culture consists of everyone in everyone else’s business, and people are quick to tell you that your hands are dirty when they need some soap and warm water themselves. normally my introvert behavior doesn’t become apparent until a big family event when everyone is in everyone else’s business, ie Thanksgiving.
introvert does not mean anti-social. introvert does not mean snobby or mean or anti-social. it’s more like, social butterfly to a select few. and that’s okay. give yourself space when you need it. learn how to care for and accept your level of introvert.
soo, how do we deal with the “how’s school? what’s your next steps? y tu novio?” season? How do we avoid the match-making auntie, or the perverted uncle that keeps marveling at “what a young woman you’ve become”?
Stuff your mouth with food! you wouldn’t want people to think your parents didn’t teach you not to talk with your mouth full. Act very busy! run back and forth and pretend you’re attending to other’s needs. avoid unnecessary conversations, get some cardio between helpings, and you look like an amazing host. Distract them! light something on fire that will definitely take the attention off of you. Answer every question with a question! people love asking but most don’t like being asked. okay so maybe not the last one, this isn’t the asshole’s guide to Thanksgiving.
the only major tip I have when it comes to dealing with bustling holiday gatherings is: don’t force yourself to be an extrovert. have fun, and take the time to recharge. answer the questions you want to answer, and enjoy the time with your family that’s as bat-shit insane* as you are (on the inside where no one can see). all else fails, pile up your plate with food and hide in a corner.
Happy Holidays ya’ll
with love and respect always,
samiah
* What does that phrase even mean? Where did it originate? Anyone??
Every time you see a post highlighting an injustice towards the black community, it is most likely followed by the hashtag #blacklivesmatter. You will also see someone comment saying #alllivesmatter. Neither are wrong; yes by the standards of basic humanity all lives do matter.
But in the last few years due to advances in technology, we are UNABLE TO IGNORE the reality that the black community faces every single day, and had been facing for years. What we are seeing in the news, the shootings, the unwarranted arrests, our young men and women being terrorized just for existing is not a new phenomena. Yes all lives matter, but in many communities of the US it is our black brothers and sisters whose race places them in constant danger, as if it is a huge target on their back. This is not something you see as prevalently within the Latino, Asian, South Asian, or European community. I cannot tolerate someone trying to take away the value of #blacklivesmatter, just so they can jump in the limelight and gain some sort of cultural validation they think they are entitled to. Stop trying to equalize the struggle of the black men and women of this country, when you aren’t willing to share their experience. Imagine living a life where you have to take separate efforts to make people understand that your life matters, too. Where you are constantly scrutinized because of the color of your skin. Then come try to preach “all lives matter”.
I just read something today about a white man letting his child die because he did not want treatment from a black nurse who was qualified and experienced in treating his infant’s condition. Even though her supervisor protested that she would be the most qualified, the one who could save his child. “No nigger nurses” he said. The young woman tried to force her way into the room to save his child, her sense of humanity and her duty to her profession overcame the hate from the father. He let his child die because of his disgusting prejudice. Black lives matter because they believe all lives matter.
Yes all lives matter, but right now we’re focusing on black lives. Our brothers and sisters. Our men and women. Our scholars, our artists, our professional, our spiritual leaders. Solidarity. If we want to make all lives matter we sure as all better make sure that black lives matter first.
