Discover Top Posts Tagged with #thegrimsqueaker

cat!au: what's the most ridiculous thing Fear has done the running banshee shriek over?

I think it’d be hard to pick a winner. Memorable incidents probably include:

- That Time Something Fell Over In The Closet

- The Incident Where There Was a Spiky Leaf That Got Inside

- Many Sinister Shadows Happening Because Selene Moved Some Furniture

- The Time When Des Tried to Turn on The Shower By Himself and Sprayed Water All Over the Bathroom and Screamed and Terrified Fear Who Sounded the Alarm But Then Also Tried to Kill Des Themselves

- Selene is Fifteen Minutes Late Coming Home From the Grocery Store

- The Door!!! Shut Itself!!! SELENE!!! FEAR IS TRAPPED HELP!!!

#cat au #thegrimsqueaker

cat!au- do any of Selene's friends think there's anything weird about her cats? is anyone suspicious?

Well, probably not, but largely by virtue of Selene not really having any friends in this AU ^^;

I think Fey mentioned @scurvgirls Marassal works in the bookshop sometimes when Selene isn’t or when it’s busy enough to need 2 people, but other than that I don’t think anyone else really spends a lot of time with the cats?

Maybe some of the regulars think or mention “Gee, sometimes those cats are kinda weird”, but not enough so to raise any real alarms for Selene who would probably just reply with “Yeah. Cats, am I right?” and brush it off as normal because she’s never had pets or many interactions with real cats before.

#answered #cat au #accidental cat lady au #the cats could do pretty much anything short of talking or shifting #and selene would probably dismiss it as regular cat behavior #she has no standard to compare them to #and no one goes by to visit her or anything that would be able to pick up on it #its part of why the arrangement works I think #thanks for the ask <3 #thegrimsqueaker

(pls respond publicly, I rly don't like doing these things in private) yo, calling out/naming an anon is creepy. I mean, the fact that you got it wrong is hilarious, but the basic idea of naming someone who uses anon to not be named and who isn't harassing you is another boundary violation. you set this account's permissions to allow anon asks, and doing that implies some good-faith attempt to let ppl talk to you in a way that lets them feel safe, and naming an anon takes that safety away

Yeah, I had assumed the fact that they were both talking about “nerve damage” meant they were the same person, as it’s so profoundly stupid that I assumed there was no way two people would say the same thing. Sorry about that.

#thegrimsqueaker #the seebscourse

@thegrimsqueaker found the best pokestop ever

#oh #pokemon #pokemon go #drugs #thegrimsqueaker

consider: cat!au spirits find out that cats bringing their people "presents" is a thing. what would they end up bringing Selene?

Dirthamen: Brings Selene books. Not books from the store, obviously, she already has those, but she likes books and Dirthamen also likes books, so this makes sense. He brings her books from a place along the lines of Vir Dirthara, an ancient hiding spot in the Dreaming where ancient scrolls and tomes were stored before the Veil went up. Most of them don’t work exactly right, anymore, and he feels kind of bad for that - they’re designed to function in a world with no division between spirits and the physical realm. But Selene seems to be pretty stunned by the offerings anyway (slight problem in that she starts trying to follow Dirthamen to figure out where in the hell her cat is getting ancient elven tomes from. Is he stealing them??? Is there some rich collector living nearby?? Does he break into museums??? THERE ISN’T EVEN ANYTHING ON THE NEWS ABOUT THIS oh creators her cat is robbing some kind of sketchy underground book smuggling ring somehow isn’t he??? The book mob is going to come beating down her door one day... which is probably why she obviously shouldn’t sell these for money but should, instead, keep them and read them... >.>)

Des: Underwear. There’s a lingerie store like two blocks off and he thinks it is HILARIOUS, at least until he gets caught. Fortunately the gals at the store think it’s funny, but he does get a ‘don’t let this cat in he’s a panty thief’ poster put on the door. (Sometimes they still let him in, though, because the ladies are weak for his kitty charms - so every once in a blue moon makes off with something that Selene ends up guiltily paying for. Bigger mystery - how does he keep stealing things in her size?!)

Affection: Probably brings Selene things that she technically already owns but has troubles finding. Like lost socks, keys, sweater that feel behind the couch, etc. Sometimes this is also ineffectual, as when Affection happily ‘returns’ stuff from the garbage can... they mean well. ^^;

Deceit: Bring Selene things that shoplifters tried to leave her store with. Not limited to the stolen items, mind, but also anything else that happened to be in their pockets at the time. Wallets. Phones. Chewing gum packs. Cash. Selene usually manages to return the wallets, but generally has no clue on who the rest belong to. She tries to tell Deceit that Stealing is Bad, but that just encourages the habit because shoplifters started it.

Fear: Gives the gift of everyone not dying under their watch.

#cat au #dirthalene #thegrimsqueaker

in the cat!au, what are the cats' favorite napping spots?

Hmm.

Well, Dirthamen’s the easy one on that, seeing as how his favourite napping spot is definitely Selene’s lap. Or some other place snuggled up to her, if she’s also napping. Small of her back, her chest, stomach, etc.

Affection is second easiest because Affection likes to sleep in the warm laundry basket full of clean clothes. Selene’s belongings are constantly covered in cat hair but she is WEAK to Affection’s pleading kitty eyes.

Des, I think, likes to nap wherever it’s least convenient for him to. In the bathroom sink in the morning. In Selene’s spot right when she wants to watch television. On top of a book stack that needs to be moved. That kind of thing.

Probably no one knows where Fear likes to nap because it’s some insane place like on top of Selene’s closet shelf, behind several old shoe boxes, with a clear line of sight to the door but no possible way to be seen by others.

Aaand Deceit is probably the Best Shop Cat for picking ‘a clear, convenient space on the counter, underneath a sunbeam’ as the Best Nap Spot.

#cat au #dirthalene #thanks for the ask! <3 #thegrimsqueaker

in the cat!au, how would the cats react to someone bringing in a service dog to the shop? bc I have a mental image of Affection jumping on the dog for cuddles while the dog tries to be good bc she is Working so it is Not Playtime Or Naptime

That is a very valid mental image! I think Affection would need to be put into the Time Out basket to keep them from constantly trying to play with the service animals. The others would be good, though. Especially once Selene explained the concept to them (probably she would be telling Affection that ‘no we can’t play with that dog, that’s a special dog’ while apologetically putting them in ‘time out’, and the others would just overhear and be like ‘ah got it’).

Fear would watch any such animal very closely, just to make certain it wasn’t some kind of trick. But otherwise, they’d just leave the matter be, and go back to whatever else they were doing.

#cat au #dirthalene #thanks for the asks!#thegrimsqueaker

holy crap Des was born to be a cat. also, he's acting exactly like the Monster Under My Bed, so way to go

Hooray!

Des and Affection are probably the best at being actual kinds of cats, lol. Although Fear’s probably cornered the market on ‘staring at invisible things for unnervingly long stretches of time and somehow defying gravity on a regular basis’.

#cat au #thegrimsqueaker