Why can't I just move past it?
Why can't I just stop feeling so numb?
But I don't care enough to find myself.
I deserve to be lost inside this greedy darkness.
trying to let each little dig
slip through the cuts of my tattered heart unseen.
reach back out and yank me back.
It's like I live on a leash.
Let me tell you about The Leash
that binds me to a deadly owner.
My owner is filled with many things,
Death. Pain. Guilt. Regret. Memory.
It refuses to let me walk free.
Instead, every day I think the gate has been left open,
I find it slammed in my face ten times harder
than the last time I attempted an escape.
Why won't you let me leave?
You're tightening the rope around my neck,
I can't breathe when you pull on The Leash.
the way a girl my age should.
Or maybe this IS how girls my age live life.
Maybe we all just camouflage our leashes
in a mad attempt to hide our imprisoned minds.
My thoughts fight to escape.
My throat fights just to breathe.
My body throws itself blindly into your blockade.
The Leash is slowly and painfully
sucking the precious oxygen
I don't know how much longer I'll make it.
I tell myself "just breathe one more breath, now repeat.."
But my breathes have become ragged and shaky.
Please just loosen it a notch!
I promise I won't run if you do.
Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to run.
Besides, I've become too weak to barely even walk.
You selfish son of a bitch.
You've stolen over four years of my life,
why won't you allow me just one day of peace?
Such is the game of life.
The Leash always wins-at least mine feels like it has.