#them;

[slicksilence]

I’ve done this a few times before. Breathe through the withdrawals and course through the sickness. Place my head anywhere other than on the fuzzy outlook the drugs provide. No more feeling the need to clench my teeth or close my eyes to sleep in the middle of the day. I can do this for them.

Most of the time I try to push out thinking that I should be a prominent part of Bronx, Saint and Marvel’s life. Ashlee and Meagan have found replacements, people who can outweigh all the damaged I caused.

I think my biggest fear is for them to know me and end up the same.

[slicksilence]

Gonna try to be as supportive as I can without flipping a fucking lid today. It’s like I’m 21 again and mad at everything around me. I gave up the thought that the world owed me something years ago. But withdrawals will be hell. Thinking they might bring that back out of me.

Just hoping they don’t hit when I have my kids.

I called Ashlee and Meagan this morning. Neither of them answered. Tried leaving a message about how this time would be different. How they could trust me for an extended amount of time with them.

If broken records had a name it would be mine.

[funquotations-blog]

We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them. - Charles Caleb Colton http://www.quotationsensation.com/quote.aspx/quote?quoteid=37077