#theme:characterstudy

[aftgficlibrary]

There was a fanfic with an excerpt of “driving, not washing” at the beginning. I can’t remember the fanfic’s title and I didn’t get to read it either, I would be really thankful if you could help!!

i do believe it’s this one -maz

It starts with bloodshed by jeanjosten (Not Rated | 5,850 | 1/1)

Neil's a child on the run, he always has been—but it takes swallows of pain and a great deal of loneliness to master the art of survival. Desert gas stations, dismal public bathrooms, whiskey bottles and lost bullets, distraction, anonymity, anxiety and dusty cars. More or less.

Or, Neil's voyage through the blurry concept of 'home', and how he gets through the day when he'll have to disappear in the morning.

[aftgficlibrary]

hi I wanted to make sure I had all my favorite fics bookmarked,, do you know the name of a longer one where andreil eventually buy a house together, and throughout they have andrew having bad days (neil, too, I think) and sometimes he'll wake up and look at a scratch on the ceiling/wall? and at the end, in the new house I think the walls are green? all I I remember is this helping andrew know where he was when he awoke love what you guys do tysm x

i believe you’re thinking of this one!-maz

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

[aftgficlibrary]

Hi! I’m looking for a fic where i think Neil is giving Andrew money for the car to be fixed or to get a new car and when he’s bringing the money him and Andrew kiss in the room before canon so i think Andrew is still on meds

yep this is it!-maz

His Gift by SpangleBangle (M | 2,933 | 1/1)

As a crowning glory to why Neil motherfucking Josten was a Problem with a capital P, he’d sat there this afternoon and offered his precious hoard of money, his opportunity to run, his next persona and life, and offered it so Andrew could waste it on another overpriced gasoline monstrosity. Simply because Neil knew it was important to Andrew.

An alternate take on how their first kiss might have happened differently.

[aftgficlibrary]

Hi, I've been trying to find this fic for a while, to no avail. All I can remember about it is Andrew traces the words "I love you" on Neil's back, and thinks about how it'll be a while before he says it aloud. I think it was a 5 + 1 fic, if that helps at all.

hi, is it this?-Scout

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

[aftgficlibrary]

do you happen to know that fic that’s like “20 times andrew wanted to say i love you and the one time he did”?? thank you so much!!

Here you go!- Aaron.

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doinganything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

[aftgficlibrary]

hello there!! i’m looking for a fic that’s like “20 times andrew wanted to say he loved neil and one time he actually did” but i can’t find it anywhere despite all the tags i’ve been trying. i apologize because it’s a popular fic and you’ve probably got this ask many times, but i just can’t seem to find it, including on your page. (which is my own fault) so again, thank you and sorry!

no worries, here it is!-Maz

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

[aftgficlibrary]

Hey there I think I once read a fic or Tumblr au where Neil was gender fluid but I can't remember if I actually read it or imagined it. Please help. I think I'm going crazy over it.

it could be this one!-Maz

Nonbinary Neil by greenJeanKirstein (G | 932 | 1/1)

Neil tries different pronouns under the disguise of different aliases. As Alex, she has female pronouns; Chris uses the neutral ones, and Neil is too busy trying not to die to think about the pronouns he, and others, use for him.

Oh, and Neil also tells Andrew that he's nonbinary.

[aftgficlibrary]

any fics where nicky reclaims his religion? like maybe renee takes him to her church or something. something with nicky + healing + religion. thanks!

Hi! here is what i found !-Scout

Dichtung und Wahrheit, or: How Nicky Hemmick Learned To Have Some Pride by luvanderwon (M | 17,532 | 3/3)

In which Nicky Hemmick embarks on the slow process of learning how to be okay with being both gay and Christian, and how Erik Klose was the lynchpin that held him together. Featuring: teenage angst, clumsy Deutsch, inappropriate sweaty crushes, first kisses, and finding the road to recovery