#themmaswan

[captainswanouat]

themmaswan replied to your post “Crazy how you can go from super happy about something to super...”

WTF. Is this all here or on twitter?! Block them all, honestly. You don't need that kind of negativity around.

twitter. i posted a tweet about how jen helped designed the dress and it got hijacked by antis, who kept quote RTing it saying bullshit like “that’s why it’s so ugly”. don’t worry, blocked every single one of them LMAO

[pirateherokillian]

A Little Lost Thing

So here is my waaaaaaay overdue/late CSSV gift for @themmaswan. I’m sorry it took me so long to get your gift posted, and that I wasn’t the most diligent Valentine. And I’m sorry this gift isn’t anything super spectacular (as much as I tried, the idea I wanted to write just didn’t want to come together), but I really hope you enjoy it. It’s a little flangsty thing because apparently the only thing that wanted to come to me for this fic was sadness with a bit fluff.

-----

She caught the first glimpses of it the night he moved in - starting with their bed, of all things.

Emma bounded up the stairs. “Okay, dad’s on sheriff duty for the rest of the night.” She kept her attention focused on her phone, typing out a text to Henry as made her way towards the bedroom. “And I ordered us some pizza. Should make for a good ‘move in’ night, finally…”

She stopped short just inside the doorway as she pocketed her phone. Killian was standing, staring at the bed, a well worn book clasped tightly in his hand. His lone chest of trinkets sat open on the dresser behind him.

“Everything okay?”

Killian flinched as if awakened from a daydream and looked at her abruptly. “Aye,” He offered her a tight smile, his voice a little rough. He looked back towards the bed and gestured with his hook to either side of it. “Which… uh… which side should I…”

Emma frowned at his obvious anxiousness. “Whatever side you want…” She watched as he nodded and then crossed over to the right side of the bed, gently laying the book on the nightstand. He ran a single finger down the fraying red spine before turning sharply on his heels and keeping his gaze firmly on the floor as he started to make his way back to the chest.

“Hey…” Emma slowly started to make her way towards him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, love.” His voice was as tight as his smile had been. He rooted around in the chest, clearly not looking for anything in particular.

She placed a hand on his arm, stilling his fidgeting. “You’re worked up about something.” His eyes hesitantly drifted upwards, meeting hers in the reflection of the mirror. She noticed his focus briefly shifted to the bed behind them before meeting hers again. “You don’t like it, do you? The bed?”

Killian shook his head. “It’s not that.”

“Then what? The bedding? Because we can always change…” Emma felt a bit of her own anxiousness started to build up, thinking going ahead and choosing things for their house without talking to him first might have been a bad idea. “I just picked what seemed nice. But it’s your’s too, so if you want to look for something else-”

He turned towards her, taking her hand in his and shaking his head again. “Your choice of decor is lovely, Swan. Really. “ He offered a small, reassuring smile. It faded as he swallowed and closed his eyes, a flush creeping up his neck and across his cheeks. “I’ve never had one quite so big before, is all.”

Emma felt the overwhelming urgency to please drain out of her and she visibly deflated where she stood. She glanced towards the bed and couldn’t help her eyes from widening a bit. “Oh.”

Killian opened his eyes to look at her, his face a mix of awe and embarrassment. “Aye. I know it’s a rather silly thing to marvel at, all things considered.” He tried to shrug it off but Emma shook her head and gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“No, it’s not.” She said firmly, sensing all that he wasn’t saying. He smiled, this one with a little more feeling behind it, and nodded.

“So you said something about pizza?” He pulled away from her, going to close the lid of his chest. And like that, the first glimpse was gone, faster than it had come.

-----

The shower brought it out next.

It had been an exhausting day for them both. Villain-chasing and monster-fighting had left them tired and dirty and aching. It was all Emma could do to toast a couple of packets of pop-tarts for dinner, and Killian’s lack of protest was a testament to his own exhaustion.

Still, when they’d found themselves curled up in bed, Emma just about to drift off in her mud-splattered blouse and jeans, Killian declared he needed to shower before he could go to sleep.

“Shower in the morning, babe.” Emma sighed. She tugged on his arm to try and get him to curl back up against her, but he was insistent about getting out of bed.

“Don’t want to get the linens all dirty.” He mumbled distractedly, already going about removing his own dirt-encrusted clothing. Emma flopped over in bed to watch him struggle in his exhaustion with the buttons on his waistcoat.  

“We can just wash the sheets in the morning, Killian.” She argued, pouting. “I just want to sleep right now.”

Killian looked at her sharply, a fire behind his eyes despite his clear lack of energy. “And you bloody well can, Swan. Sleep away in your own filth. I refuse to do it anymore!”

Emma blinked, slowly pushing herself up on her elbow to stare at him. His own blue-eyed gaze went wide, as if caught off guard by his own outburst, before shifting quickly to the floor. He shuffled in place, bringing his hand up to brush partway through his hair before it stopped and rested there. There was a vulnerable set to his shoulders as he finally spoke again. A glimpse of something small and lost.

“I’m sorry, love.” He sighed. “This is just something I need to do now, okay?”

Despite the fact that he wasn’t looking at her, Emma nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

He nodded back in response, still not meeting her gaze, and slowly made his way to the bathroom, back to unbuttoning his clothes as he went. The quiet click of the door shutting behind him was the only sound that filled the room. Emma stared at the closed door for a few minutes before pulling in a deep breath and getting out of bed, summoning enough energy to go about changing the sheets before she shucked her own clothes and made her own way to the bathroom.

-----

The kitchen brought it all bumbling to the surface one morning.

Because 4 A.M was much closer to morning than night than Emma would like.

But that was when she came stumbling downstairs to find her True Love hunched over the kitchen sink, scrubbing furiously at one of the corners with a clump of steel wool clutched in his fingers. A bottle of rum, one she’d known had been nearly full before going to bed, sat off the side, the amber liquid not even reaching up past the label anymore.

Emma felt her heart seize at the sight of him, illuminated only by the light over the stove. In the same way she’d sensed something was wrong and woken up, he could sense her standing there. He paused in his frantic cleaning and glanced at her with all the shame and embarrassment that radiated off his hunched form.

“Love, I-” His voice faltered and she watched as tears slipped free. And she could see it, clear as day, right then...

A lost little boy who didn’t matter and thought he never would.

She was across the kitchen in a heartbeat, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest and pressing her forehead to his.

Killian let out a shuddering sob, dropping the steel wool so he could bring his hand up to grasp at her arm. “I’m sorry.” He whispered through his tears.

“Don’t be.” Emma whispered back. She placed a soft kiss to his lips. “Not for any of it.” She pulled back, freeing one of her arms so she could brush the hair from his eyes. “I’m a fan of every part of you too.”

Killian managed a laugh despite the crying. “Even this mess?”

“Goes well with mine.” Emma shrugged, smiling self-deprecatingly.

Killian nodded and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. The melancholy quickly returned to him, his whole form seeming to shrink under the weight of it.

Emma tightened her hold on him, and he returned the gesture in kind, dropping his head to her shoulder. She turned and placed a kiss in his hair. “You can overcome anything too, you know? You’re not lost anymore, Killian. I promise.”

“It’s gonna take me some time to realize that, love.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

Killian chuckled morosely and Emma felt his lips press a warm, teary kiss again her neck. “Still quite the team, you and I.”

[irishswanff]

Not many people can pinpoint the exact moment in time when their lives change. For some, it happens over the course of months, weeks, or even days. Gradual things here and there that contribute to a bigger moment, like overloading a scale until the balance finally tips one way or another. For Killian Jones? It happens in an instant. All it takes is that one moment—a glance up from where he’s discarded his jacket to lock eyes with the blonde across the room—for him to know his life will never be the same again.

[captainswanouat]

themmaswan replied to your post “oKAY BUT THE PRESS RELEASE FOR THE NEXT LUCIFER EPISODE I AM SCREAMING”

I HAVEN'T STOPPED SCREAMING

when the post came across my dash today i had to STOP AND DO A DOUBLE TAKE CAUSE I THOUGHT I WASNT READING RIGHT AND THEN HAD TO MAKE SURE IT WAS REAL AND THEN I JUST SCREAMED REALLY LOUD AND I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE 23RD FACK

[killiancomeback2me]

themmaswan replied to your post: When you have a lot of gifsets ideas but can’t...

You could always download Handbrake and convert videos to MP4. That way you can import them directly on PS.

Thank you! But I need one where I can capture mkv formats, 'cause all my archives are like that. Converting 630GB in mp4 would take a hundred years lol

[aunbeso]

themmaswan replied to your post “Who’s gonna watch S7? I need to know who I’m going to be able to...”

color me intrigued, honestly. i'll give it a fair shot.

Yay, this makes me so happy :) <33

[canaryarrow]

themmaswan replied to your post “themmaswan replied to your post “I’m officially going to see Jen’s...”

I meant the play! I might have gotten tix for five separate showings.... The June 23rd one is one of the dates I'm going to!

So we should definitely meet up!

Hahaha that’s incredible! I would have done the same thing if I lived close to the city.

OMG yes we totally should! I’ll send you a message :)

[canaryarrow]

themmaswan replied to your post “I’m officially going to see Jen’s play next month, and I’m going to...”

Ah! What day are you going? Maybe it'll be one of the days I'm going!

I’m not sure if you mean the play or NYCC haha, but I’m seeing the play on June 23rd. I’ll be getting in the evening of the 22nd and leaving the morning of the 24th.

I’ll be in NYC for the entire NYCC weekend, but only going to the convention on that Friday and Saturday. It’d be so awesome if we could meet up! :)