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Have you ever felt like you don’t want to sleep? Your body is exhausted, but your mind won’t rest because you’ve spent the whole day fighting to defend your traumas—traumas that others dismiss as insignificant. They compare them to their own, try to offer solutions, but all you do is cry while defending yourself. And all you really need is just a little affection. You didn’t deserve this.
All they ever talk about is fighting, but in real life, all you did was survive. Even as a child, you had to fight—against your parents, against everyone in that house. You never know what kind of morning you’ll wake up to because the night before, you spoke about how your parents affected you, and instead of taking responsibility, they’ll take it out on you.
And the trauma they compared mine to? My aunt was upset because her father bought her a **boy's boat** instead of what she wanted. Mine? I was so scared of my father that I couldn’t even cry out loud. And it’s still happening. I am so scared that he will beat me . I am not sure if ı can fight for myself at this point
When he tried to beat my little sister, I was the one who intervened. When my mother threw things at her, I was the one who stopped her. And after all that, my little sister blamed me. My mother told me she would kill me if I ever did that again.
So, yeah. **Definitely no reason to be mad at life, right?**
So, yeah. Of course, I have no idea how to fight.
Even though that’s literally the only thing I’ve ever done my entire life.
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