Esp.

Writer

[percyisnotjackson]

Do you know what hurts the most? I don’t want to celebrate my birthday anymore. Every year, something goes wrong. Every year, there are tears. So I decided not to celebrate it this year.

I didn’t want a party with my family, and that was fine — until, once again, my lovely aunt decided she wanted to go shopping. I had just finished a week full of exams, and I didn’t want to do anything.

We had a fight.

And then, my little sister, who wanted to go shopping too, couldn’t go because I just wanted to rest. So, again, more crying.

My birthday was even before my exams, but still, somehow, it turned into a problem.

I hate being born. I really do.

When I say I don’t want to celebrate, why is the reaction always, “Why not? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Did we not grow up in the same house? Or am I just the crazy one ?

[percyisnotjackson]

The song of the day : Destroyer - Of Monsters and Men

[percyisnotjackson]

Hello me again because why not . 3.08 am in the morning . Me and my traumas against the world or me against my traumas and my thoughts and ı dont thing that word gives a shit about me . I am angry because what my father said yesterday and ı can’t forget about it . ( remember my family issues it did remind me my auntie ) there was a news on tv . A man killed her three children ( the oldest one is 9 years old ) and his wife . My father told me there should be a reasons . What kind of fucking reason should be enough to kill him not only innocent children and a women . What are thinking . I am not understanding. I know that my father is okey with physical abuse . Believe me it hurt a lot to know that . so ı was a perfect child ı never make him angry or anything else . I just go to my room and cry so quit and ı can’t even hear myself . Because ı was so scared of him . When he tried to hit my sister ı am the one who stood up ı am the one who stops him . But every time he does that something in me dies very much dies . And growing up and realizing that your father could find a reason to kill you not just hit you kill you is devastating . ( not was his first time by the way he always find a way to normalize physical violence and killing people )

AND STILL PEOPLE THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH LIFE OR I AM BEING TO SENSITIVE . YOU FUCKING IDIOT I AM LIVING WITH A MANIAC . AND WHEN I TRIED TO GO AGAINST HIM . HE JUST IGNORES ME .

I hate it ı hate it o hate it

WHY DONT YOU WANNA KIDS EHY DONT YOU WANNA BOYFRIEND “ IF YOU DONT WANT MARRIAGE YOU WILL BE THE FIRST ONE TO GET MARRIED “ . DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE DO YOU KNOW HOW NUCH O RATHER DIE THAN TO MARRIED SOMELİKE MY FATHER .

ALL MY FUTURE ANXIETY COMES FROM WHAT IF I DİDNT GET A JOB AND I HAVE TO KEEP LIVING WITH HIM .

NOBODY UNDERSTAND NOBODY SEE IT .

MY PERFECT “ you are just being anxious what have you been through was nothing you dont have ant reason to hate life “ aunt

My “ who always talks about traumas but you should get married to “ mother

My “ ı dont have any problem you just anxious kid you dont hate living you just being ridiculous dont make jokes about it “ father

“But dont put short in winter you are getting cold “father

“ FUCK OFFF” me

Yes yes ı am the problem .FUCKING LIFE

Of course o dont hate life ı know what people have been through . But ı hate fucking you your effects on my life.

——

[percyisnotjackson]

I never could reach who wrote this . But god thank you . Thank you thank you .

For being for putting into words . Saying it . THANK YOU .

Because this writing see me how hard ı was trying when ı fight with my monsters .

Even though ı hate life ı am still alive . Even though ı hate myself and didn’t care for it I am still trying fucking damn it .

My bff is gone ( to her boyfriend and got close with another one ) ı hate being alive but ı am fucking still here AND THIS TEXT SAYS THANK YOU FOR IT .

SOME IDIOTS ARE TELLING ME LIFE IS STRUGGLE . AND I WOULDNT BE HAPPY IF I DİDNT HAVE ANY STRUGGLE. .

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANY FUCKŞNG FRIENDS GROUP TRAUMA OR SCHOOL OR JOB CONCERNS THAT HUNT ME DOWN EVEN IN MY SLEEP .

EVERY DAY EVERY NIGHT AND FEELING USELESS SHİT .

I AM TALKING ABOUT HOW I HAVE TO FIGHT AGAINST MY GAMİLY EVERY FUCKING DAY AND I STILL DIDNT KILL MYSELF .

I WAS BEŞNG STRONG FOR ALL MY LIFE I AM FUCKING FIGHTER AND I NEED BREAK EVERYBODY HAS THEIR BREAKPOINT AND I ALREAADY PAST THAT ONE .

I AM JUST TRYING TO ACT LIKE NORMAL PERSON AND KEEP GOING EVEN İN ME I WAS DYING EVERY FUCKING DAY .

I AM JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE . I DONT CARE IF I AM HUNGRY JUST DRINK COFFEE BUT IT IS NOT HEALTY AND YOU SHOULD STOP

YOU FUCKING IDIOT I AM ON THE ROPE TO DEATH I AM NOT TRYING TO BE HEALTY AND HAVE A HAPPY LIFE

I am fucking fighting to not to kill myself ı am fighting the lige struggle you have been talking about .

[percyisnotjackson]

---

Have you ever felt like you don’t want to sleep? Your body is exhausted, but your mind won’t rest because you’ve spent the whole day fighting to defend your traumas—traumas that others dismiss as insignificant. They compare them to their own, try to offer solutions, but all you do is cry while defending yourself. And all you really need is just a little affection. You didn’t deserve this.

All they ever talk about is fighting, but in real life, all you did was survive. Even as a child, you had to fight—against your parents, against everyone in that house. You never know what kind of morning you’ll wake up to because the night before, you spoke about how your parents affected you, and instead of taking responsibility, they’ll take it out on you.

And the trauma they compared mine to? My aunt was upset because her father bought her a **boy's boat** instead of what she wanted. Mine? I was so scared of my father that I couldn’t even cry out loud. And it’s still happening. I am so scared that he will beat me . I am not sure if ı can fight for myself at this point

When he tried to beat my little sister, I was the one who intervened. When my mother threw things at her, I was the one who stopped her. And after all that, my little sister blamed me. My mother told me she would kill me if I ever did that again.

So, yeah. **Definitely no reason to be mad at life, right?**

So, yeah. Of course, I have no idea how to fight.

Even though that’s literally the only thing I’ve ever done my entire life.

---

[percyisnotjackson]

I believe that there are still good people out there. For example, on Pinterest, some users defend artists' jobs by claiming that artists do not want to share their art.

I just appreciate you . Every one of them .

All of them are earth’s treasures and need to be protected. <3

[percyisnotjackson]

I saw this yesterday.

So today instead of meeting with my friends

I am under my blanket .

I will be blanket lady

… is killing me so ı will live in my head rent free

[adhdoofenshmirtz]

[percyisnotjackson]

HELLLLL YEAAHHHHH

LETSSS GOOO

GO GO LETSSS GO LETSS GOO DATEKO ( sorry my haikyu fanside showing up )

"I was wondering when the show would come ou

I HOPE THEY WONT CHANGE VOICE ACTORS IN MY LANGUAGE TOO . I CARE ABOUT TOO MUCH . ( FOR EXAMPLE THEY DID CHANGE VANESSA AND JEREMY MONOGRAM AND CARLS VOICE ACTORS IN MILO AND MURPHY LAWS )

I WILL BE PRAYING

AND I WANT THE THIRD MEAP EPISODE I WANT croquet(?) y8 episode ( they mentioned in hockey z9)

Please please please that could solve all my problems

And good night

-

[percyisnotjackson]

GUYYSSSSSSS

I was reading some post about mml( ı am not sure about this short version but ı ı am talking about Milo’s Murphy law) and it just hit me . So many times we saw Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building destroy in one day and the other day it will be same ( as cartoon physic law or Danville city effect ) . But in mml he has to stay with Murphy family ( it was good dynamic and ı can do anything to see any phineas and ferb character) but why it just didn’t get back to normal . It just kind a hurt to see doof doubted about himself . I mean he always did but he is a evil scientist who can came up with most creative but still little silly ideas . ( he can always buy a bigger clock but no he want Big Ben or he can move his chair to watch car cinema (?) but no so he decided to remove building ( or something like that ) ) he didn’t build any inator just hurt little bit . And ı kind didn’t like how they change the agents hats ( the episode with Diogee became agent and fought with doof )

Just this .

[percyisnotjackson]

GUYYSSS I WAS WATCHING MILO BUT THE SEASON 2 EPİSODE 1 WHICH IS A CROSSOVER (? THEY LIVE İN THE SAME CITY IS ARE WE SURE THAT IT IS A CROSSOVER ) I JUST THINK THAT THE EPISODE COULD BE BETTER .

I mean ısabella wasn’t there but she is important part of gang . I would love to see Stacy Jeremy Vanessa too . Monogram and Carl could be useful to . Episode was good but why they never tried to use the Time Machine in the museum . And fireside girls can have bigger role . And why they didn’t invent much more different things for gang . Yeah Milo and phineas and ferb was such a wonderful trio that ı would love to see . But gang dynamics could be better . And when the heck phineas meet dr doof as Vanessa’s fathers .

[percyisnotjackson]

Am ı the only one I can who is doing that ??

So ı will recommend some of my favorite daydreaming songs

The protector - city wolf

Lions inside - valley of wolves

In the end -Tomme, Fleurie,Jung

Hero- skillet

The last of the real ones-Fall out boy

Champion- Fall out Boy

Survivor -2wei , Edda Hayes

——————

[percyisnotjackson]

Okey who ı am

If you asked me this in real life ı will answer with

“ ı am 20 years old . I am studying computer science …”

Bu in here

“ I am obsessed with all animations . All my childhood cartoons . And I make stories in my mind ı can talk about fan theories all the time .”

[percyisnotjackson]

GUYYSSSS

We know Candace and Vanessa are friends (they know each other, and one day they went to the Duck Momo cinema together). Imagine one day, Candace invites Vanessa to her house. Stacy and Jeremy are there too, waiting in the front yard. Vanessa is being dropped off by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (because he’s the best dad ever).

When Doofenshmirtz arrives, he meets the kids: Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Isabella, Buford, Candace, Stacy, and Jeremy. He greets Stacy and awkwardly apologizes for breaking into her house before. He also remembers Jeremy from a guitar lesson he once took.

While chatting, Doofenshmirtz notices a platypus in the yard and casually pats it, completely unaware that it’s Perry the Platypus. Stacy is in shock because she knows Perry is Agent P but had no idea that Doofenshmirtz doesn’t recognize him. Vanessa is also very surprised and quickly tries to get her dad to leave to make sure Perry is okay.

Later, Stacy and Vanessa both try to spend time with Perry, which leads to a playful yet ridiculous rivalry. They keep pulling a curtain from each other, arguing over who gets to hang out with him.

It’s kind of funny for gang because it seems like Perry is super popular. Meanwhile, Candace doesn’t care about any of this and remains completely oblivious to the chaos around her.

I mean we have too an episodes about that .

The gang and the teenagers had a great time . Maybe they even saw Carl in the same part of episodes .

[adhdoofenshmirtz]

✨Reblog if you are in the Dwampyverse fandom ✨

[percyisnotjackson]

Yep all the time

[percyisnotjackson]

I love it when they make fun of themselves . And its my dream job . Became animator and create any episode in milo and Murphy laws or phineas and ferb . I want to out all my weirdness and creativity that episode . That must be world best job . The music the story the people you work with ….

Sometimes ı hate the world ı live in but then ı remember ı got one of the best tv shows and animations all the time .

[percyisnotjackson]

Is this the most beautiful/hilarious thing ı saw today .

Apps is the first one who accept zuko . And knew he changed is so beautiful and funny .

I want to see appa and zukko have conversations. Especially after gang beating weirdos and zukko be like . “ they were like this when ı try to capture them , how ı can’t do it .”

Appa : “ yes they were same , but you were teenage with anger issues so no better than them .”

Zukko:” you got a point bro , you got a point .”

#avatar #atla #gang #zukojoininggang #zukoandappa #appaisthebest #momogotjeolus

[percyisnotjackson]

As you can see it , this post doesn’t belong to me . But ı have to talk about it and ı need to hear your ideas about it .

Why they put these kind of scene ? I love phineas and ferb with my all life so ı am not judging . But ı just want to know why Dan and swampy was okey with it ?(I don’t know who write the story - ı didn’t know )

Do you have any ideas ?

And also can we discuss about monograms family we know he has a son( we know Monty talented young boy we love him , he rescues agent p) ? And his wife . But sometimes he and car goes to club and dance with other girls (?) and as ı remember (ı can be wrong about this so you can correct me if you know the truth) he did go on a date . So how things with his family ? Any idea ?