#theoworthington

[mvrlcy]

@theoworthington​.

he’s running over what he wants to say in his head as he waits for theo to meet him. they have a few secret places where they would arrange their sexual rendezvous before; it had been necessary to so that they wouldn’t be intruded upon by unintended third parties. of course, they didn’t limit themselves to these sanctuaries; some lascivious part of marley liked the thrill of almost getting caught. however, they don’t need to be having this conversation in public and so marley asks theo to come to one of those private places now, away from wandering eyes. so they can talk and only talk. he wants to bring up new years, the gossip girl blast, emery. he has so much he wants to say but when he sees theo walk through the doorway there’s a brief, fluttering moment where all coherent thought flights right out marley’s airy head. theo looks good ( doesn’t he always? ). wide blues travel from wind-tossed hair down towards the artfully disheveled way theo's clothes hang on his frame. his gaze continues downwards until he has to remind himself he was angry. he was angry and wanted to talk. so why is it, then, that as soon as theo’s drawing nearer, a docile little smile paints upon marley’s lips. “hey,” his voice sounds stupidly soft and he knows, then, that his plans at anger are dashed and all because of what? because he’s still infuriatingly attracted to the absolutely wrong person. “you look -- uh, wait, we need to talk.” it’s as good as he’s going to get while his heart’s stuck in purgatory. 

[cmerysdfyghksj-blog]

@theoworthington

     new york is big, which has in most aspects not been easy for emery since moving to brooklyn when he was thirteen. however, it’s proven itself a blessing in at least one way, and that’s making avoiding people--people like theo--wonderfully easy. the trouble emery’s faced in the last month has revolved more around sustaining the will power to keep from texting him or reaching out in any way in spite of the sometimes painfully strong urge to do so, to try and find closure where he’d been left heartbroken and confused. so far he’s held out, and so far his luck has held out too, not having crossed paths since the day a little more than a month ago theo had broken off their year-long relationship without much explanation. that luck comes to an abrupt end, of course, at the new year’s eve party. it’s as emery’s anxiously weaving his way through the crowd in search of his lost twin that he comes across him, nothing apocalyptic, yet the way his heart makes a flying leap for his throat would suggest otherwise. “theo,” he says owlishly, like he’s surprised to see him there. that deer-in-the-headlights moment passes, though, and with its departure comes a familiar dull ache in his chest, the one that tells him even though he’s hurt and confused, he hasn’t quite stopped missing his ex-boyfriend. he will, one day. just not yet. he makes a motion to touch his glasses and remembers halfway that he’s put in contacts for tonight, flushes, and drops the hand back in front of him to begin fidgeting with the fingers of the other. “er--happy new year?” he swallows and it’s hard because his throat feels tight suddenly, too. “how...how’ve you been?”

[cmerysdfyghksj-blog]

@theoworthington

     barring the little voice in his head telling him he shouldn’t be doing this, emery’s spent the last hour with theo enjoying himself completely. it’s not exactly like it used to be, maybe, but it’s close. closer than he’d have believed could happen after the way things had ended just a few short months ago. they’ve had a little bit of wine but nothing that’s given emery more than a very light buzz--no, the way his heart is racing and the fuzziness he feels in his head is due almost exclusively to the negligible distance between them on the couch, plus the way theo’s been smiling at him all night. behind him, he can feel winnie’s warmth where she’s sleeping with her back pressed to his. between all of that and the blissful lack of any anxiety, emery can’t remember the last time he felt so at peace. “you know, i’ve--i’ve been driving myself so crazy trying to figure out if this has been a bad idea. hanging out with you and...you know, whatever we’ve been doing.” he laughs softly and shakes his head, but before he speaks again he scoots just a little bit closer. “i don’t think it is, though. a bad idea.” he walks his hand shyly from his own knee onto theo’s where they’re touching and finds his fingers, skimming his own over them like a question. “i think if something feels good, then...it’s probably good, right?”

[dcmvnsarchive]

@theoworthington

     the whole thing is stupid, and had damon not been weighed down with the threat of gossip girl exposing his less-than-legal business methods for keeping his company running, he would with a clear conscience have ghosted on the date altogether. he knows the name theo but isn’t entirely sure why--the information is locked away somewhere in his brain where he can’t connect it to anything relevant. not that it matters; he intends to get the information he needs as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there. there being a hotel bar not far from his company building, and it’s after work that he makes the trek to meet his date--if it can be called that--for the night. he’s about fifteen minutes late, partly because arriving in his own time is a power play damon technique damon uses all the time, partly because he’s hoping theo will ditch and the blame can fall on his shoulders. but he’s there, and it’s with a roll of his eyes that damon takes a seat beside him and curtly orders a drink from the bartender. “i’ve seen you before,” he says without bothering to go through the proper introductions and greetings. “can’t think of where. you’re too young for me to have gone to high school with you.”

[cmerysdfyghksj-blog]

what would keep you from taking theo back?

     “i guess ideally it would be self-respect that would keep me from getting back together with theo in a hypothetical situation where he wanted me to take him back. i don’t really think that would ever be the case since there must have been a reason he broke up with me even if i never found out what that reason is. it’s been a really tough month and a half, though, and even if i didn’t find the self-respect to say no were he to express interest in a relationship again, knowing i might have to go through this a second time would probably be reason enough to make me think twice.” ( @theoworthington )

[cmerysdfyghksj-blog]

do you miss your ex?

     “i think it’s really difficult not to miss somebody you spent such a long time in a relationship with, even if it ended badly. you sort of get used to having that person in your life in that way and when they suddenly aren’t anymore it isn’t, like, a quick transition back to normal. i mean, for me, at least. i guess i’ll probably miss him for a while yet, but it won’t be forever.” ( @theoworthington )