Jan 8, 2021
It's not so sad anymore.
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It's not so sad anymore.
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The Universe Has a Sick Sense of Humor
April 2016 Corpus Christi ,TX - Tulsa, Oklahoma
So Mr. Young Gun … if you don't know the story. I’m going to suggest you go catch up really quick. Here are the links for you
https://www.marilyngogo.com/single-post/2016/01/23/No-filter-%E2%80%A6-Beware-don%E2%80%99t-look-too-closely
Ok so now that you're all caught up and you know the story of the pendant , and the gravity of it all. Lets now go back to my birthday morning on April 8th 2016 , on the beach , sitting right next to Whit in a peaceful silence. No need to talk , for there was no awkwardness , no need to fill the void with nonsense babble , the ocean breeze was strong enough to do that for us. But then I suddenly heard a muffled ring form the phone , I snatch up my phone really quick and looked down at the screen to see the name of who else, Mr. Young Gun . A tight lump that I tend to get when I'm about to cry wells up in my throat so quickly I couldn't catch it in time and calm myself down . I hadn't talked with this man for almost a full year at the time, why was her calling me now ? There is no way in hell that he would have possibly remember this day.
As hundreds of questions and flash back of our times together flash to and from inside my mind . The quick conclusion I came to was that that I had to know if he was ok. Had to hear his voice to reassure he was still himself . So I answered it .
Me- “Hello ?”
YG - “ Why hello there missy, Happy Birthday”........... ( he remembered)
YG- “ Now how could I forget a woman that I still love, mind you birthday ??Why do you think I hate you ?
me-“ Well for starters you threw my pendant into the fucking lake! Oh ya know the pendant to my heart. Remember “
Him - In his mid west country accent that was just so fucking cute to me, like it made me want to give him a hug around his waste , or pinch his cheeks kind of cute , says to me “ Alina , babe, … Now I kept that thing for over a year do you truly believe that I would just throw it away , like that?”
My jaw drops . Oh my goodness , he didn't really do it , that means I’ll be able to get it and get my ability to truly love another man again.
Him” I want you to come see me in Oklahoma , please. I need you here with me ?
Me “ Of course , let me get enough money for a flight and I'll be there ok. As soon as I can!”
And I meant it. I really missed that man , there was something about how he held me in his arms, wrapped all the way around me and then some and then he would pick me up like I weighed nothing and i would wrap my legs around him, and he would hold me like without even batting an eye , for as long as I wanted , kissing me slowly and lovingly. It was so comfortable and safe and it just felt right, from the very first time we kissed . I was also truly intrigued to see if we could make it work this time, without any of the other negative influences from people and energy. .
We chatted a bit more and then said our goodbyes . With a new goal and direction to excite us and give us hope for what's to come. And with that realization and a deep breath , I stood up and went to go dance with My whitney around the fire , and enjoy the rest of my 30th birthday. But of course I couldn't get him off my mind , like his every move , his shy smile his shy country boy accent and then Mr. Young Gun started to get a bit agitated, but the man child was obviously already set in place. He did want me. He wanted this idealistic relationship and perfect woman to be his and only his , he wanted the fairytale , the thing that sadly just that . A fairytale that I felt I couldn't live up to almost . I knew that I was going to completely shatter his whole world . Because I wasn't ready and I knew it.
Now besides all of that ,I truly did miss him and want to see him again , without the outside influences affecting the very new budding feelings that we had together. And to get my pendant back, and finally break that fucking curse he had put on me. And as me and Mr. Young Gun chatted a bit more , I could feel myself just melting into his arms once again just as easy as I did the first time . It was so comforting , a fond memory, home. We said goodbye and hung up the phones on that note. With a deep breath and a new fire lit within me, I stood up and ran over to where My Whit was dancing around the fire like a little tiger lily floating in the wind .
-2 or 3 Days Later-
I'm in the place I called home for the time being , myself and Lil Fox sitting or standing around the kitchen isle as we always did, myself about to book my flight out to see Mr. Young Gun while lil Fox just keeps chatting along , about every subject under the sun, and her intelligent yet so scatterbrained mind truly amazed me at times, almost baffling me by how sporadic it truly was .
As I'm just and I literally mean JUST about to book the flight , my phone beeps and flashes , I pick the phone up, look at the screen to see who this could be, don't people know i'm busy . .. :)
MAX- “How are you little girl?”
I almost drop the phone into my cocktail I was so shocked. After what had happened in Oklahoma . I never in a million years thought I’d hear from him again . Yet his memory ,good and bad are forever etched into my soul, his scent , his laugh , and then the bad as well .Of course I just try to let go of that fear , that hatred and betrayal that I experience from him .
That's all I could do , let it go
“ I'm doing well , how are you?” short and sweet I told myself ,keep it short and sweet. Don't let him know that you're practically dying on the inside for him to wrap his muscular arms around me and hold on a little bit longer that he should .
Max -“ I'm good , just about to hit the road actually”
Me- “ Really ?Where are you now?
Max- “I don't even know”
Max - I'm in arizona , but not for long I'm getting back on the road today”
Me- “Nice … nice … and where are ya going mister ?”
Max- “I’m going up to Oklahoma”
I froze and almost gasped out loud, wide eyed not believing what I had just heard come thru that tiny speaker from that tiny smartphone , a phone that should be a lot smarter than to let that statement from Max, ever touch my ears ever again.
You must be fucking kidding me . ,
Max was going to Oklahoma
I was going to Oklahoma
All at the same time,
How could you do this to me universe, god ,whomever is responsible for this absolutely deadly combination of coincidences.