Inspired by the last book i've read, 'Before I Go To Sleep', this is a short reminder, a bump in my stubborn head and a slap to my vulnerable heart. Just a reminder, in case you've forgotten:
Your cinema peg will always be the mysterious and very alluring Rooney Mara. You're the sofia coppola to someone's spike jonze. Maybe one day. Or at least, that was the plan. It still is. You gave Darren Aronofski up for David Fincher, who turned your adult world around when you hooked up with The Social Network. Elizabethtown will forever be your favorite movie setting. Montauk, in Eternal Sunshine, comes in as the secondary, for very personal reasons. Requiem is cool, but save it for your occasional 17-year-old phases, where the world is too bleak for a night, even for you, to handle. Your favorite Leo will always be the Inception Leo. Save your expectations for Ethan Hawke's Great Expectations. And also, early morning nude people sketching sessions fantasy.
The Perishers will take you back, in a good way, down that memory lane you avoid going back to. Elliot smith's 'Pretty Unpretty' makes you pause. For a while. Not sad, just pause. Music is too intense and personal of a topic for you but you won't mind sharing it to a very few special (cool) people. You promised to create a bunch of mixtapes for different people, long overdue. Make it happen. Ed sheeran is a myth. You can't listen to him on bad days. It's not gonna work, however charming he gets. Bellx1 is a smarter choice. It's authenticity, along with the fluid melody and an untold history is really quite irreplaceable. For you, anyway.
While it's comforting to miss your old self and just indulge in 'her' for a while, it won't necessarily help you (in the long run). A lot of new 'movies' and 'music' are coming in your way, whether you're looking for them or not. It just pays to have an open mind about it and enjoy the 'trial and error' process, however grueling and sickening it may turn out to be. Some nights, anyway. You've had good 'movie' and 'music' experiences. Hold on to that and pray that the next one will be a masterpiece and epic in the making. That's the only way to move forward, sweetheart.
Ending this entry with a line someone, so sincerely, said to me, when I told her i miss my old self back, on nights when I'm reminded of it: 'You were very emo back then. And I mean emo. And dark and unsocial. Do you really really wanna go back to that? :) ' Live on your own terms. You are weird, face it. And 'your weirdness is an asset.' Don't you ever forget.
