I was speaking to Therapist about how I felt guilty about how I couldn't stop myself from planning all sorts of escape routes and plans for if nestie and I do split. Like I couldn't focus on trying to rebuild/save our relationship bc I was so caught up in planning what's next. So I said, how do I stop doing those things? And she did this magic thing of like. Bypassing what I thought the answer was (ways to redirect these impulses etc), and answering instead:
"Well, what amount of time do you think you can commit to spending with Nestie?" And I went with it, bc I trust Therapist, and laid out like 30mins tops of quality time every night and a weekly date. And friends, that felt so GOOD. It felt really freeing to focus on what I wanted instead of focusing on what I was SUPPOSED to be doing. Which was coming from this feeling of shame from not "doing enough" to save/prioritize this relationship anyway.
Anyway trust the process, therapist got an A+ at work this week.