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He grabbed his shin and jumped, yelling at the crazy other. "Ow! Moron! I didn't say it was a date! You just mentioned doughnuts and I wanted one!"
"You did to say it was a date." Wade argues. "You said and I mother fucking quote; "I'll have to take you to another doughnut factory. This time we can share the donuts." So if that doesn't mean a date than I don't know what is!" He toys with the idea of kicking Peter in the shin again but decides against it.
"A date." Peter simply said, giving that slightly sad smile as his eyes turned down. "Hope you have fun. I don't have time for dates, so enjoy it for me, yeah?" He shoved his hands into his back pockets.
"Hey, asshole!" Wade sneers kicking Peter hard in the shin. "You don't invite a girl out for a doughnut date and then five minutes later claim you don't have time for it. That kind of thing gets you kicked in the shin!"
"Well if you stop to puke, just means that you're the one that'll be stopped by the cops and take the heat for me, so I think it'd be plenty worth it."
Yeah but hey I've had worse dates. That's a lie, I've been arrested on dates before and puked on dates before but never at the same time. Can't imagine my date with Jamie ending much better anyway. Pfft. Can you like imagine fucking Wolverine trying to be all proper and shit at a restaurant. Well an Olive Garden, but that still totally counts. Ugh he's prolly gonna wear plaid. If he wears plaid I'm gonna punch him in the throat. You better not where any plaid on your date either; I'll punch you in the kneecap. I should burn all of his plaid things, this is the first date I've had in like forever. I'm not going to let some ex-lumberjack's misguided fashion sense ruin that for me ok.
Peter raised his eyebrow and couldn't help but chuckle, then laugh. "I'll have to take you to another doughnut factory. This time we can share the donuts."
Ok if by sharing you mean I get to eat all the doughnuts while you watch yeah man. Let’s share the fuck out of some doughnuts. Although you’re paying otherwise it would be a terrible date; cause then we’d have to dine and dash. And I’ be all full of like doughnuts which means I would prolly puke. Trust me I’m speaking from experience ok.
Peter sighed and looked down. "Believe me or not. Doesn't really matter. Forget about it Wade."
Ehh I prolly will give it an hour two happens all the time. Hey y'know once I woke up in a Krispy Creme factory completely naked, except for a doughnut around my 'eclair'. Yeah they had to shut the place down cause my skin was all freaky and they figured I was diseased. I had a lot of free doughnuts that day man; I still have no idea what I was doing there.
He shrugged. "Just miss hangin' out, you know?"
You miss...hanging out....with me.....? This is a joke right? Ashton Kutcher is going to jump ou somewhere because I'm on Punk'd. Or he would if he wasn't fucking up what's left of Two and a Half Men. You're fucking with me tho aren't you? Missed me? I don't buy that for a second.
"Alright, Fine."
Yeah that's what I thought. Lucky I didn't have to snap my fingers in a Z formation ok. But seriously what's up man? This account hasn't been active for like six maybe seven days; Ive got some catching up to do.
"You need to call me more."
Excuse you, Parker? I am my own independent black woman. I do not need no man ordering me around; telling me what to do. Mmm I do not think so, boy. You better check yo self. You do not even know ok. I am from the block. I can mess you up. I do what I want.
