Discover Top Posts Tagged with #thescarykitty

webcomic script for the people who wanted to proofread it. Sorry if some decriptions are vague or characters or whatever

Draft script thing

lightning arcs across a field, landing directly in the middle (1-2)

the bolt leaves a largish crater in the field. (1)

Azrael is crouching in the middle of the field. He picks up his swords, which are lying on the ground next to him. (2-4)

Azrael stands up (2)

Azrael’s wings unfurl behind him (2)

Azrael shoots into the air. (1-2)

black page (1)

hazy 1st person eye opening (4)

show Neil lying spread eagle on bed, eyes half open. a few used tissues lie next to him. (1)

Neil groggily makes his way downstairs to the kitchen (3)

zoom in on stove clock. the time is 8:00. (1)

Neil sniffles (1)

a note on the refrigerator reads, ‘Neil- I did not wake you up this morning because of your little vomiting episode last night. I know it was probably just something you ate, but you can never be too sure! I wrote you a note to show your teacher if you decide you want to go to school late today, but if you don’t feel up to it just text me so I know to call you in. love you bud!-Dad’ (1)

1st person view of backpack (1)

1st person view of front door (1)

backpack(1)

door(1)

backpack (1)

1st person view of stairs (1)

show silhouette of neil back in bed. a siren goes off in the distance. (1)

black page, in the middle in white reads ‘Three days later’ (1)

Neil lies in bed. his fathers voice from downstairs yells, ‘Neil! get up! its 6:30.’ (2)

Neil sits up in bed and stays there for a panel (2)

Shot of Neil getting dressed (1)

Shot of Neil brushing teeth (1)

Neil eating breakfast with father:

silence (1)

DAD: Your mother called while you were asleep.

NEIL: mmm.

DAD: We haven’t seen her in three years.

NEIL: mhm.

DAD: ... So don’t you want to know what she had to say?

NEIL: (silence)

DAD: (sighs) She says that her research is going well. They just made a huge breakthrough, but she still can’t tell us what it is she’s studying. Paris is beautiful, but she still misses us terribly. If all goes well, she should be home in a month or so. She also says that Patrick says hi, and that she really can’t wait for us to meet him! He sounds like such an interesting guy, dontcha think? Shes lucky to have a friend like-

Neil stands up suddenly, interrupting his father.

NEIL: I left my bag in my room.

Neil leaves. (1)

Dad sits alone at tables, looking into space thoughtfully (2 panels)

Neil is in his room on his bed. His bag is next to him. caption reads, ‘How can Dad be so naive? He hasn't seen Mom in person in three years, and every time she actually does call, she mentions how fucking awesome this asshole Patrick is. Is he so damn blind that he can’t see what’s actually going on between them? I’m only 15 and I can tell they’re more than ‘just friends’ (2-3)

Neil’s train of thought is interrupted by a piece of reality breaking off in the middle of his room. the piece is a shard about 6 inches long and 3 inches wide. it leaves behind a similarly shaped space of tv static-like space. (1-3)

close up of broken piece, barely visible against the carpet. caption: ‘The fuck...’ (1)

Neil scoops up the piece and looks at it (1)

he tries to put it back in its hole. there is a small *fzzt* sound as he sticks half of it in.(2)

he pulls it back out. the half that was placed back in its hole has disappeared (2-3)

Neil’s phone buzzes (1)

Neil checks it. Its from Kevin (1)

KEVIN: Hey man are you sick again

NEIL: Nah I got over it a couple days ago

KEVIN: Then get your lazy ass out here. I’m the goddamn QB I can’t be seen walkin to school without my bitches in tow.

NEIL: Yeah ok. Call me when these bitches of yours show up

KEVIN: F off. Are you comin or not.

NEIL: Yeah hold your horses.

Neil looks around frantically, and throws the fractured piece into his bag. (3)

NEIL: Coming!

next page: Neil sits in a classroom, looking bored. students around him include Catelyn but not Kevin or Annie. (1)

show the front of the room, where the teacher stands with Leon.

TEACHER: (smiling) Hello everybody. This is Leon. He moved here from Canada, and he will be studying alongside us for the rest of the year. I’m sure he will become a vital part of the Farmington High School Community.

show view of the entire class, all of them looking hella bored and adolescent (1)

Leon smiles nervously and waves with his fingers. (1)

back to view of hella bored class. (1)

TEACHER: ...Alright then. Take a seat Leon. Everyone turn to page 247 in your textbooks.

Leon takes a seat. Everyone turns to page 247 in their textbooks. (2-3)

skip to lunchtime. Neil, Kevin, and Annie are sitting at one table with some other random friends that we don't care about. Catelyn is sitting 2 tables away. (1-2)

focus on Neil’s table. Kevin is in the center, with Neil moping to his left and Annie looking at him with a small smile. Unnamed friends all look at him expectantly(1)

KEVIN: And so then I was like, why don’t you get your own cucumber plant?

EVERYONE BUT NEIL: (rancorous laughter)

KEVIN: But man, I tell ya, the potato chip industry has really gone to shit. Like, just the other day I got some Lays and just as i was opening it-

there is a popping sound. a single potato chip magically appears on Kevins tray. Neil’s eyebrows scrunch together, Annies eyes widen, random other friends do similar things (2)

KEVIN: The fuck?

RANDOM FRIEND: Dude is that a potato chip

Kevin picks up the potato chip, scrutinizes it, and then nibbles at the corner (3)

KEVIN: What the hell...

ANNIE: What is it?

Kevin spits out the chip (1-2)

KEVIN: Oh god that was so stale.

EVERYBODY BUT NEIL: (rancorous laughter)

Neil looks away and rummages in his bag for the piece of his room that fell out. as he touches it, another potato chip appears on Kevins plate (3)

EVERYONE BUT NEIL: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO

cut to Catelyn sitting at her table alone (1)

Leon approaches her with his tray (2-3)

LEON: Mind if I sit with you?

Catelyn doesn't speak. Leon sits down across from her and takes a bite of food (2-3)

LEON: The students here aren't very welcoming, huh?

Catelyn remains silent (1)

LEON: (excited) Oh my! are you one of those moody loner girls I heard so much about?

Catelyn remains silent (1)

LEON: Oh my gosh you are! Do you sit alone at lunch every day? Ohh, you probably listen to moody music and read really weird books!

LEON: Oh, I’ve read so much about people like you! I am so glad to finally meet-

CATELYN: what is your problem?

LEON: Excuse me?

CATELYN: You’re talking about me like I’m some kind of fascinating new animal that you’ve just seen at the zoo. Where the hell did you say you were from again?

LEON: Oh! Um. right. (nervous giggle) I’m from... uhh...

Leons captions: France? No, she’d ask about an accent... Where did I say i came from again? North Korea? No thats not right. Bad public relations... Czechoslovakia! Yes- oh wait no thats wrong, that shouldn’t exist anymore... umm... lets see...

LEON: Canada! Yes. I am Canadian. Born and raised in the capital city of Pyongya - I mean Ottawa. Yeah. Um. Am I irritating you?

CATELYN: (sarcastically) Oh, noo. of course not.

LEON: Oh good! I was a little worried for a second. What is your name?

CATELYN: Cately-

Leon glances over to see Kevin create another potato chip (1)

LEON: Actually, hold that thought.

Leon dashes away towards Neil’s table, Catelyn rolls her eyes bitterly. (2)

Cut to Neil’s table. Potato chips are popping up like theres no tomorrow. Everyone is fucking pumped except for Annie who is relatively disconcerted. and Nei who is apathetic as fuck (2-3)

Leon busts in between Kevin and Annie in a mix of nervousness and excitement. (1-2)

LEON: (to Kevin, anxious) Who are you? How did you do that? Who sent you here?

KEVIN: What the hell man? What's this shit about capybaras?

LEON: (suddenly angry, grabbing Kevin by the collar) WHO ARE YOU? WHO SENT YOU? WHAT THANEDOM DO YOU BELONG TO?

KEVIN: (scared) What the hell man? What are you talking about?

Leons caption reads, ‘Wait a minute. He actually doesn’t know how hes doing it? Is this some sort of mind trick? Or - Oh fuck.’

Leon notices the piece of reality clutched in Neil’s hand. Neil notices his gaze(1-3) LEON: (letting go of Kevin's shirt, taken aback) Oh- Oh my. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll just be... (leon runs out of the cafeteria.)

Kevin sits back down, rolls his eyes and gets resituated, and eats another potato chip. Neil looks down at his broken piece (4)

NEIL: I’ll be right back.

Neil runs out after Leon (2)

ANNIE: Hey, where are you going?

Annie runs after Neil (2)

Kevin looks down at his massive potato chip loot and makes a face

KEVIN: (sighs) I need new friends.

Kevin runs out after Annie and Neil (2)

Cut to Neil running through the hallways next to the cafeteria, piece clutched in one hand, looking around frantically. Leon is nowhere to be seen. (3-4)

Kevin and Annie are seen running towards Neil. Neil’s caption: Where the hell is he... (1)

ANNIE: Hey Neil! Wait up!

cut to Neil’s piece in his hands (1)

KEVIN: Dude, what the hell is that?

Neil looks down at the piece in his hands (!)

NEIL: ... Its sorta hard to explain

ANNIE: We have time.

KEVIN: (mumbling) actually lunch ends in ten minutes...

NEIL: Ok... well I’m not actually sure what it is myself...

NEIL: I was getting my shit ready for school this morning, right?

NEIL: And then I heard sort of a popping noise from the middle of my room. So I looked up, right? And there was this weird staticy spot floating in the middle of the room, and underneath it was this. (holds up piece) It was about the same size as the weird staticky thing, but when I touched them together they sort of buzzed and then part of this disappeared.

KEVIN: Okay... Neil might be bat shit insane... So why were you chasing that new kid just now?

NEIL: Well when he was flipping out in your face, he looked down at this thing and then ran away. I thought he might know what it is.

ANNIE: ... And then he disappeared.

NEIL: Yeah pretty much.

KEVIN: Wow. So I have magic snack food abilities and your room is turning into TV static. I would say that Annie would be the normal one in this situation, but her bro is like the 3rd richest man in the world.

NEIL: Speaking of your brother, can you give this to him to look at? Maybe he knows what it is. holds out piece

ANNIE: ... Yeah I guess. I don’t know when he’ll be available; hes always off on one business trip or another. Anyway, we should get back to the cafeteria before the bell rings.

All 3 of them walk cafeteria-wards (1)

Cut to Catelyn eating alone (1)

Pan out to reveal Leon sitting next to her with a dark expression on his face

LEON: Catelyn. I am in quite a large predicament.

CATELYN: (mildly startled) When did you get back?

LEON: That is irrelevant. I am somewhere I shouldn’t be and as far as I can tell there is no way out.

CATELYN: (sarcastic) Well, The interstate is a few miles down the road.

LEON: (brightening up) The Interstate? Do you think that could get me out of here?

CATELYN: (raises eyebrows) ...Yeah. Sure.

Leon smiles happily at Catelyn (1)

LEON: Do you think you can guide me to this interstate after school? I prefer to have company with me on my walks.

Close up of Catelyns face. Catelyn’s caption: Is he... hitting on me? Should I do it? (1)

Catelyns Caption: Ehh.. Why not.

CATELYN: Yeah sure. Its not like I have anything better to do.

All characters are startled by a totally unexpected SCENE CHANGE

Cut to Neil Kevin and Annie walking away from school with their backpacks

Narrator Caption: 3 hours later...

KEVIN: So apparently Annie was right and it was me making those potato chips out of thin air.

NEIL: Cool.

ANNIE: Wait what? How?

KEVIN: I honestly don’t know. I figured out how to control it during science, so I made a shit ton of chips, but Mrs. Gadwall saw them and gave me detention for bringing snacks to a lab.

NEIL: Then shouldn’t you be there right now?

KEVIN: (shrugs) I thought about going. But then I got to wondering if potato chip superheroes have to go to detention. And I couldn’t really think of a good answer. So here I am.

ANNIE: Potato chip superhero? Really?

Kevin grins (1)

ANNIE: And how do you know you can control it? Is it like some sort of weird jedi mind techni-(kevin makes a potato chip appear in her mouth) *krnch* (she eats the chip and gives kevin a small grin) asshole.

Kevin smiles quietly (1)

a bitchin black sports cars pulls up to the curb and rolls down its window (1-2)

EDGAR: (Edgar is a butler robot designed by Zach.) Annie. I am here to take you home. Would your friends like a ride.

KEVIN: Nah man, our houses aren’t too far away. Thanks though!

Edgar gives a stiff nod, and Annie climbs into the passenger seat. The car drives away. (2-4)

panel of Neil and Kevin walking away (1)

CUE CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN (idk they seem easy to make so why not)

options are LEON AND CATELYN, ANNIE, KEVIN, and NEIL

ANNIE OPTION

Edgar and Annie drive up a steep hill to a modern looking mansion (1-3)

Annie gets out of the car. Edgars eyes dim as he deactivates his chauffeur body. Annie walks up to the front door and goes inside (2-5)

large shot of hella fancy Capulet Mansion (1)

A hawk-sized pterodactyl flies down and lands on Annie’s arm (2-3)

ANNIE: Hey there!

Annie give the pterodactyl a treat from her bag, and he flies off. (2)

Annie goes downstairs. (1)

The basement is dark. Annie peers into it, trying to see. (2)

a pair of eyes illuminate in the shadows (1)

Annie is surprised (1)

Zach shoots out of the shadows on a comfy looking rolly chair. the lights turn on to reveal a batcave-esque shindig with all sorts of fancy electro-gadgets and cyber-thingamajigs (2-3)

ZACH: Hey Annie! How was school? (Zach lands at a different computer from the one he launched himself from and begins typing)

ANNIE: actually, a lot of weird shit happened. Theres this new kid named Leon, who went ape shit on Kevin when he showed some people a magic trick. Except he claims its genuine and not some weird sleight of hand thing, but thats just the sort of prank Kev would pull. Also, Neil found this weird glassy thing in his room. (holds up piece) He has some crazy ass story behind it too, but I’m more inclined to believe him then Kevin because he’s Neil, y’know? He doesnt joke around like that. He wanted you to look at it and tell him what it is. (she tosses zach the piece)

Zach rockets off to a third computer and catches the piece in mid air (3)

ZACH: Sure thing! Oooh, this is pretty damn cool isn’t it? (tosses piece in the air and catches it) Its light as crap, too... Interesting. Oh! A couple of reps from BartCorp are coming here soon. Mind staying off the main floor until they leave? I want to leave a good impression on ole Sampson and he doesn’t seem to like little sisters running around.

ANNIE: Yeah sure. I have homework anyways.

ZACH: Well then you best get on that shit!

Annie runs upstairs(1)

Zach smiles happily (3)

Zach’s face dissolves into a hardened scowl (1)

ZACH: Edgar. Lock her doors.

EDGAR: (from the ceiling ) As you say, Zachary.

A few whirs and clicks emit from one of the computers

ZACH: Is it soundproofed?

EDGAR: As always.

ZACH: (walking upstairs) Good. Send them in.

On the main floor, Zach reclines easily on a couch and picks up a beer bottle that was on the coffee table. (2-3)

The front doors open to reveal two bulky men wearing suits, sunglasses, and earpieces. (1-2)

ZACH: Hey fellas! sit down, have a drink!

BARTCORP THUG 1: (pulling out a silenced glock) Sampson Bartleby sends his regards.

ZACH: You guys are no fun.

Zach throws his beer bottle at thug 1. it breaks over their forehead and rains shards down over their body. (2-3)

The thug 2 pulls out his gun as well, and thug 1 tries to regain his aim. (1-2)

Zach smashes thug 1’s knee inwards, and pulls the body in front of him just as thug 2 pulls the trigger (2-3)

Zach takes the gun from thug 1’s body and shoots thug\2 twice in the head. (2)

Zach drops thug 1 and unloads the pistol. (2)

Zach picks up an ear piece off of one of the bodies and puts it to his ear.(2)

ZACH: Sammy! Y’there?

SAMPSON: Mr. Capulet.

ZACH: Hey man! How are things? Didja get my package?

SAMPSON: If by package you mean the bomb you shipped to my factories in Bolivia, then yes. I did. Or rather, the orphanage in the neighboring town did.

ZACH: Oooh... Well played old man. Speaking of passive aggressive assassination attempts, your hitman department seems to be kinda lacking in some areas. This latest batch barely took me 30 seconds to take down.

SAMPSON: Mr. Capulet, has it ever occured to you that you might not be my biggest concern anymore?

ZACH: (chuckling) Bartleby, are you cheating on me?

SAMPSON: Take that statement as you like. The fact remains that I currently have more important matters to attend to than making small talk with an upstart orphan who inherited the majority of his fortune.

ZACH:...

ZACH: (grin hardens into a scowl) Likewise.

Zach throws the earpiece to the ground, shattering it. (1-2)

ZACH: (pinching bridge of nose) Edgar. Clean this up.

black panel (1)

NEIL OPTION!

Show Neil and Kevin approach Neil’s house. (1-2)

NEIL: See y’tommorow.

KEVIN: Yeah, later.

Neil goes up his walk (1)

Neil opens his front door

NEIL: I’m home!

no response

NEIL: *sigh*

Neil’s caption: dad must still be at work

Neil goes upstairs to his room (1-3)

The hole in his room has gotten bigger. 2-3 other pieces lie beneath it. (1-2)

Neil shakes his head and grimaces (1-2)

He ducks under the hole and sits down at his desk, throwing his backpack next to him. (1-2)

DONOVAN: Don’t turn around.

NEIL: (sitting up, starts to turn) What the-

DONOVAN: I said don’t turn around.

Neil stops and slowly returns to sitting forward

NEIL: My mom’s jewelry is in-

DONOVAN: I am not here to rob you.

DONOVAN: My name is Donovan.

NEIL: Excu-

DONOVAN: Judging by the pool of static hovering in the middle of the room, things for you have taken a turn for the surreal. And judging by my experience, ‘surreal’ won’t even begin to describe what is about to happen to you.

NEIL: You know something about the static?

DONOVAN: Yes. I do. That is why I came to you. To teach you.

NEIL: Teach me what? Who even are you?

DONOVAN: Things. Self control. Leadership. The like.

NEIL: ... What...

DONOVAN: soon you will have abilities. Much like your friend Kevin.

NEIL: How do you know Kevin?

DONOVAN: Thats irrelevant.

Neils caption: Is this guy for real?

Neil suddenly swivels his chair around, getting a full view of Donovans face (2-3)

Neil, surprised, swivels back around. (1-2)

Neils caption: Oh yeah. He’s for real.

DONOVAN: I told you not to look.

NEIL: Wow. Um. Wow. Your face is...

DONOVAN: (grimacing) Didn’t your dad tell you not to point out peoples deformities.

NEIL: (blushes) Sorry. Its just-

DONOVAN: Its fine. The static bit isn’t actually my face. I was wearing a mask for something when it fell off. sorta like that bit in your backpack. Haven’t been able to take it off since.

NEIL: So you can move the static around? Like, the mask stays on your face?

DONOVAN: Yes. But the static is not always moveable. It seems to be more so if it falls off when the original object is in movement. That rule isn’t constant though. I’ve seen people whose skin falls off when they’re running and the resulting static destroys part of their brain.

NEIL: So the static does destroy things it touches?

DONOVAN: Of course it does. I saw you this morning, poking the piece that fell out into it.

NEIL: You’ve been watching me?!?!?

DONOVAN: A strange man just appeared in your bedroom, covered in scars and strange static, tells you that he has come to train you, and that he knows things about your friendnd you are surprised that he’s been following you for a few days?

NEIL: ...

DONOVAN: Not a word of this exchange to either of your friends, okay?

NEIL: Yeah. Yeah, definitely

black (1)

KEVIN OPTION!

Kevin and Neil pass Neils house. Neil goes up the walk. (2)

NEIL: See y’tomorrow.

KEVIN: Yeah, later.

Kevin keeps walking. (1)

and walking (1)

still walking (1)

entering some seedy neighborhoods (1)

Kevin approaches a low class apartment building and opens the door (2-3)

Kevins caption: Not to far away my ass...

Kevin walks up some stairs and comes to a door. (2-3)

there is a smashing noise as Kevin opens the door. (1)

KEVINS DAD: (make his speech bubble wobbly and drunken) Damn you Martha! I give you m’goddamn heart on a plate an’ waddaya do wit it? Y’gimme a dam good fer nuthin son an espect me to feed um an pay for um... Is dam bullshit wha it is...

Kevins dad is stumbling around the room. His mother is crouched against a wall, sacred. there is a broken beer bottle smashed next to her head. (1-2)

Kevin stares at the scene hardly, then walks towards a door to the side of the room(1-3)

He goes to his room, throws his bag on the floor, and sits down on his desk. (2)

KEVIN’S DAD: Ware th’hell is muh son?

Kevin turns to the door just as his dad stumbles in. (1-3)

Kevins dad sits down on kevins bed heavily. (1-2)

KEVINS DAD: Is been a long time since w’ve had a talk.

KEVIN: I-

KEVINS DAD: Ah don’ mean anny uh dat wishy washy small talk neither.]

KEVINS DAD: Noo, we’s gonn have a real talk, man a man. Father t’ son. Gottit?

KEVIN: Uh, yessir.

KEVINS DAD: Yeh, thas good. Callin me sir. Thas repsectful. Ah raise ya well.

KEVIN: (snarkily) Wow. Good job, sir. Someone should give you a medal.

Kevins caption: Fuck me.

KEVINS DAD: Wut didju jus say t’me? Wussat... Surchasm?

KEVIN: N-nossir.

KEVINS DAD: d’yew need a beatin, boy? I ken hitcha like I dijyur ma jus now.

Kevins dad grabs a soccer trophy from Kevins dresser. (1-2) Kevins caption: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

KEVINS DAD: Yur jus like yur ma. No respeck.

Kevin looks toward the window to his right. (1-2)

Kevins caption: Not like i haven’t done it before.

Kevin bursts from his chair and jumps out the window, flipping in midair so he lands feet first.(3-5)

Kevin lands in a dumpster with a thump (1-2)

KEVINS DAD: WUT?!?!?

KEVINS DAD: YOU GITJER ASS BACK HERE, BOY!

KEVINS DAD: (incoherant ranting)

long pause

KEVINS DAD: (muffled crying)

KEVINS DAD: C’mon back up here son. I din’t mean anny harm.

Kevin stays in the dumpster (1)

KEVINS DAD: C’mon Kev... (still crying)

KEVINS DAD: (more sad drunken blither)

after a while, kevin can hear his dad leaving his room (1-2)

Kevins waits a bit (1)

Kevin gets out of the dumpster (1-2)

Kevin goes back to the door of the apartment building (1-2)

Kevin goes back inside (1)

black panel (1)

LEON AND CATELYN OPTION!

Catelyn is chilling next to the school (1)

Catelyn looks at her phone. Phone says 3 missed calls- Dave (1-2)

Catelyn wantonly ignores her pining father in favor of teenage rebellion and angst. (1-2)

Catelyn looks around for Leon. he is not there. (1-3)

LEON: Hello.

Leon is standing next to Catelyn. (1)

CATELYN: What the shit

CATELYN: When did you get here

LEON: Just now. Where is this ‘interstate’ you were telling me about.

CATELYN: Uh, that way. (pointing down the road)

LEON: Excellent. Will you, um, accompany me there? As per our prior arrangement?

CATELYN: Oh my god. You are totally hitting on me.

Leon looks at Catelyn blankly. (1)

Leon looks down at a fist. (1)

Leon looks back up at Catelyn. (1)

Catelyns caption: There is no way he’s from Canada.

CATELYN: Forget about it. Lets go.

LEON: Oh, right. Yes. Lead the way.

They walk away from the school towards the interstate (1)

Cut to the interstate. large panel showing the interstate. Cars are driving by. There is a safety rail. there is trash. Wow, highways are amazing.(1)

Catelyn stops at the safety rail and sits down with her feet in the bike lane thing. (1-3)

LEON: Excuse me? why are you stopping?

CATELYN: (gives leon a judgemental look) This is the interstate.

LEON: This is a long strip of asphalt and the remains of dead animals, intended for the safe and smooth transportation of automobiles such as that one. (leon points at a really high class sports car driving by) There is absolutely no way that this place can get me where i want oh son of a bitch.

CATELYN: What the hell?

LEON: (extremely upset) What year is it.

CATELYN: Wow. That question was straight out of an anime.

LEON: WHAT. YEAR. IS. IT.

CATELYN: 2014! Christ!

LEON: Oh damn it. Oh god damn it.

CATELYN: Wow. 20 bucks says Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to appear out of nowhere completely naked and start blowing shit up

panel of Leon staring at Catelyn angrily and confused. (1)

reuse panel, but put a large explosion in the background (1)

LEON: ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck

CATELYN: Well speak of the devil.

LEON: Catelyn, this may come as a bit of a surprise.

CATELYN: I honestly doubt it.

Leons tattoos begin to rise above his collar (1)

LEON: I am not from Canada.

CATELYN: Yep. figured that one out on my own.

LEON: (tattoos have reached his cheeks) I am not strictly from your plane of existence either.

CATELYN: Thats a little surprising. I guess.

there is another explosion, closer this time (1)

LEON: Ok, Catelyn, I need to go see what’s making those explosions, so please don’t faint or something when i do what i’m about to do right now.

CATELYN: You are not very good at listening are you.

back view of Leon, his wings unfurling (1-2)

close up up Leons hands. his tattoos extend past his hands and form twin flintlock pistols. (2-4)

CATELYN: Wow. Them’s pistols.

a third explosion explodes in front of them. (1-2)

The dust sort of dissipates, revealing Azrael’s silhouette (1)

LEON: Catelyn. Run.

Catelyn dutifully obliges (1-2)

LEON: Azrael. The wolf of Avalon. Which lowlife Thane are you serving now?

The dust clears all the way, revealing a full view of Azrael. (1)

AZRAEL: Avalon was a long time ago. I’ve changed since we last met

LEON: I can tell. The Azrael I know would have killed me before I had a chance to blink.

Leon opens fire on Azrael (1)

Azrael shields himself with a gout of flame, but is pushed back by the volley. (1-3)

AZRAEL: I’m not here to- (Azrael is interrupted by another salvo of shadowy tattoo bullets.)

LEON: I don’t care who you’re here to kill. (wowzers more bullets)

AZRAEL: I'm not here to kill anyone!

LEON: Thats just what a murderer would say!

More bullets

AZRAEL: God damn it. Fine. If you want a fight, I’ll give it to you. (Azrael’s swords catch fire)

Make a page or so of hella rad fighting panels. Do whatever you want with it.

End the fighting thing with Azrael and Leon locked up in the middle of a dust cloud that resulted from the fighting (1)

POLICE OFFICER: FREEZE! PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

The dust dissipates to reveal a bunch of heavily armed SWAT mofos (1)

black (1)

END OF THING

Neil lies spread eagle on his bed. his clock reads 6:45. It is also beeping. Add some static spots to the sides of the panel. (1)

Cut to kitchen. Neil’s dad is eating cereal with a grin on his face (1)

Neil comes downstairs. (1)

NEILS DAD: Your mom’s coming home tomorrow!

NEIL: (tired) Huh? I thought she wasn't going to be home for a few months.

NEILS DAD: Nope! Apparently someone found something pertaining to her research over here of all places, so she and Patrick are flying down tomorrow.

Neil’s Caption: Patrick. Ugh.

NEIL: Thats great.

NEILS DAD: You betcha! Tomorrow night we’ll all be together again. Just like old times, eh?

NEIL: (small smile) Yeah.

cut to homeroom (1)

some students are gossiping by the window (1)

Catelyn is sitting at her desk (1)

so is Neil (1)

KID1: Dude did you hear about that Leon kid?

KID2: No man did something happen with him?

KID1: Are you kidding me? That crazy ass motherfucker got arrested!

KID2: No way! Him?

KID3: Dude thats putting it lightly. Y’know how my dads a cop?

KID1: Yeah? Didja hear the dispatch thing?

KID3: Damn straight. Apparently there was some sorta gunfight in the middle of the interstate. Leon and some dude with a black hood.

KID2: No fuckin’ way.

KID1: I mean are you surprised? apparently he went apeshit of Kevin yesterday at lunch

KID2: Yeah that was messed up.

Neil looks up confused (1)

cut to Leon and Azrael (1)

Leon is sitting in a white room, on a folding chair, there is another folding chair across from him. make it look official and governmenty and shit. Azrael is sitting in an identical room. they are separated by a wall (1)

LEON: Look where your petty assassination attempt has gotten us.

AZRAEL: I wasn’t trying to kill anyone!

LEON: So you say.

panel of silence (1)

LEON: Was it Baldr?

AZRAEL: What?

LEON: the one who hired you. It was Baldr, wasn’t it?

AZRAEL: No! It wasn’t Baldr! Baldr’s been dead for ten years!

LEON: Oh. Really? Thats a relief. I tried to kill him during the Scholar’s Revolt and he hasn’t forgiven me since.

AZRAEL: And here you are accusing me of trying to kill people.

LEON: But you do! thats your thing! You’re the Sellsword of Elysium! The Wolf of Avalon! You’re a damn hitman!

AZRAEL: You’ve been in this pocket for much too long. I haven’t accepted a contract in fifteen years.

LEON: What do you mean I’ve been in this pocket for too long? I’ve been here two days!

AZRAEL: That can’t be.

LEON: Yes it can! Capricorn’s coup was a week ago! Wasn’t it?

AZRAEL: Capricorn has been in power for seventeen years.

LEON: How can that be? I don’t remember being gone for seventeen years. Have you messed with my timeline?

AZRAEL: No, I haven’t?

LEON: Then who? You’re the only damn Manipulative I know that can work with-

the door to Leon’s cell opens with a bang. (1)

GUARD: Here he his, Dr. Donahue.

large panel of the open door. The guard is leaning on the door. Neil’s Mom stands in the doorway. (1)

NEILS MOM: Thanks, Jerry.

cut to Leon and Neil’s Mom sitting alone in Leons cell.(1)

NEILS MOM: My name is Rosalin Donahue.

LEON: Fascinating

ROSALIN: Who are you?

LEON: My name is Leon.

ROSALIN: Are you an Angel?

LEON: Thats rather forward. From the Adamite literature I’ve read, your species tends to beat around the bush quite a bit before getting to the heavy questions.

ROSALIN: Well? Are you?

LEON: Yes. By your definitions. We prefer the the title Celistii. If you care.

ROSALIN: Wonderful! Now, If my research is correct, Your kind normally exists outside of our universe?

LEON: Yes.

ROSALIN: Then what are you doing here?

LEON: There was a coup. Then several assassination attempts. Maybe an illegitimate child here and there. Long story short, politics is stupid and I came here until things die down.

ROSALIN: You seem very ready to answer my questions.

LEON: Is that strange?

ROSALIN: Well, no-

LEON: Arg! you bastard! I’ll never tell you the codes!

LEON: Is that more to your liking?

ROSALIN: Well not quite, but I would think celestial beings would be more cagey about answering questions from lower life forms.

LEON: You think because I can grow wings and make weapons out of my tattoos and you can’t makes you lower than me?

ROSALIN: Um. Yeah. I do.

LEON: Thats quaint.

ROSALIN: ...

LEON: So how are you dealing with Azrael in the other room?

ROSALIN: My colleague is interviewing him now.

cut to Azrael and Patrick sitting in Azrael’s cell.

PATRICK: Hello. My name is Patrick Silver. What is your name?

AZRAEL: I am known as Azrael.

PATRICK: So you are an Angel?

AZRAEL: ... Excuse me?

PATRICK: Azrael is the name of the Angel of Death in some Islamic faiths.

AZRAEL: It would be very much appreciated if you refrain from calling me titles that might suggest that i kill people for a living.

PATRICK: Oh. Sorry. But if you’re not an Angel, what are you?

AZRAEL: My species calls itself the Celisitii. What are these Angels you speak of?

PATRICK: Oh. Um. Angels are like... Gods messengers. Or warriors. They’re generally portrayed as beautiful winged men with miraculous powers, but some older paintings have actually been pretty monstrous.

AZRAEL: Oh. I suppose I am an Angel.

PATRICK: Excellent! If my research serves correctly, your kind exists outside of our known universe?

AZRAEL: That is correct.

PATRICK: You seem to have a firm grasp on the English language for an alien.

AZRAEL: It is probably more correct to say you have a firm grasp on Babelish.

PATRICK: ...I don’t follow.

AZRAEL: You say my name has been mentioned in the lore of your kind?

PATRICK: Yeah! Several times. In multiple faiths.

AZRAEL: Well, this is not the first time my kind has come to your plane of existence.

PATRICK: Really? When did you last come here?

AZRAEL: I don’t know. Maybe three thousand years ago?

PATRICK: Wow. You’re old.

AZRAEL: My kind does not die of disease or age like yours does.

PATRICK: Yeah, I can see.

AZRAEL: Anyway, back to my explanation of our language, long ago in your world, there was a huge city called Babel, where of humanity lived, and everyone spoke the same language. Your kind made all sorts of excellent technological advances-

PATRICK: Yeah, and then God decided that humanity was too powerful, so he sent his angels to confuse the one language up into lots of different languages. I was a theology major. I know the story.

AZRAEL: Well thats not exactly what happened. But thats the basic idea.

PATRICK: So if you people- the angels, i mean- separated Babelish into so many different languages, why do you think I’m speaking it now?

AZRAEL: Your language is a hybrid, is it not? Greek, Latin, German... When you mix all that together, you get a language that sounds more or less like broken Babelish, which is the language we Celistiem speak in.

PATRICK: Wait, if you haven’t been to earth in 3000 years, how do you know these things about our languages?

AZRAEL: There have been reports from other Celistiem who visited your world

PATRICK: Thats another thing, why are your people interested in us?

panel of silence (1)

AZRAEL: I am done answering questions.

cut to Patrick and Rosalin walking away from the building. The building is pretty blank looking. there is an insignia of a tower above the door (1)

ROSALIN: My subject was very sarcastic. Sort of philosophical. He knew a lot about our culture. I didn’t get much information except that they call themselves Celistiem. You?

PATRICK: My guy was pretty awkward sounding, to be honest. Definitely alien to our culture. He gave me confirmation that Babel existed, though. Also, apparently language evolution has reassembled Babelish in the form of modern day English. Also they’re immortal, and certain Celistii have been secretly examining us. He isn’t one of them, which probably explains why yours was so cultured and mine wasn't.

ROSALIN: Oh please. I could have told you most of that. But that bit about English is interesting. I guess.

PATRICK: (grinning) Hey, at least Azrael had something useful to say

ROSALIN: (also grinning) Azrael? So you’re on a first name basis with the Angel of Death?

PATRICK: He doesn’t like to be called that apparently. I got the impression that he had done some pretty nasty things in the past and he was trying to turn over a new leaf

ROSALIN: Then what should we call him?

PATRICK: Hell if I know. The Angel of Tai Chi maybe? The Harbinger of Meditative Gardening?

ROSALIN: (laughing) Shut up.

Cut to lunch. Everyone is at their usual places. Except Leon. Because the Fuzz nabbed him. Fuck the police. (1)

KEVIN: Yo so apparently that Leon guy blew up the interstate or something yesterday

ANNIE: Yeah I heard that!

NEIL: Wait he did? How?

KEVIN: Hell if I know.

ANNIE: I mean are you surprised?

KEVIN: Nah. The fucker pulled that shit with me yesterday. I guess you could say he’s got some…

zoom in on kevins smiling face (1)

KEVIN: VioLEONt tendencies.

GENERIC NAMELESS FRIENDS: (rancorous laughter)

NEIL: (muttering) that wasnt even funny.

cut to Catelyn, who is eating lunch alone (1)

spread the following out over multiple captions

Catelyns caption: Leon has wings. What the fuck. So wait was he even hitting on me? Or was he actually genuinely confused about the whole thing? Jesus fuck this is just like one of those shitty young adult novels. Like seriously, I’m probably going to get magic powers like Leon’s and then become completely dependent on him for the rest of the book. I wish John was here. He’d know what to do in these circumstances. Mysterious cute boys with wings would be right up his alley. John and his aliens... I wonder where he is now. Dave’s pretty much given up hope-

ANNIE: Excuse me!

CATELYN: ....

Catelyn looks up to see Kevin, Annie, and Neil standing over her. make them all look really overly attractive. Kevin has a small, confident smirk, and is standing with a cocky, heroic stance. Annie is smiling widely, holding her books down at her waist with both hands like they do in the animes. Neil looks especially brooding. His hoodie is unzipped, but the hood in on. his mouth is slightly downturned, and while the top of his face is swathed in shadow, his glasses are glowing, also like in the animes. Catelyn’s caption, above them, reads: Its... Its... The cool kids!

ANNIE: You were friends with Leon, right?

CATELYN: I- Um-

KEVIN: You were, weren’t you? I remember you were sitting with him yesterday.

CATELYN: Well, not really friends per se-

ANNIE: But you knew him?

NEIL: Were you there when he was arrested?

KEVIN: What did he use to blow up the interstate?

CATELYN: I- well- um-

ANNIE: Guys, stop it! she can’t answer everything at once!

Kevin and Neil shut up. (1)

ANNIE: Thank you. Now, how did you know Leon?

CATELYN: Well... I don’t know him that well. He just sorta sat down at my table and started talking to me. He was sorta weird. After he flipped out at you, he kind of just sat down next to me, even though he had run off in the other direction. It was creepy. He said he was Canadian.

KEVIN: Thats strange. Canadians don’t usually blow up highways.

CATELYN: Well, um, he wasn’t actually Canadian.

ANNIE: What was he?

CATELYN: I don’t know. He asked me to take him to the interstate after school. at first I thought he was running away. Then I though, I don’t know... That he was hitting on me. Or something.

KEVIN: Interesting idea for a first date.

CATELYN: So we went to the interstate, right, and he started talking like, i don't know, a time traveler, or something. Asking me what year it was. So i started making fun of him. And then stuff started blowing up. And then there was this hooded guy that appeared. And...

NEIL: What?

CATELYN: You’ll think I’m some sort of dumb friendless geek.

KEVIN: So our opinion of you will remain uncha-OOFF

Annie has punched Kevin in the stomach. (1)

ANNIE: Go on. We won’t judge you.

CATELYN: Well... I don’t know if I saw it right, but I thought I saw Leon grow wings. Like dragon wings.

NEIL: What?

CATELYN: Big scaly wings! I don’t know... I was probably in shock or something...

ANNIE: I don’t know... Kevin started conjuring potato chips out of mid air yesterday, and Neil’s room broke.

Catelyn gives a questioning stare (1)

NEIL: It’s sorta hard to explain... Speaking of that, did your brother have anything to say about the piece?

ANNIE: No not yet. I gave it to him, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.

NEIL: Tell me as soon as he does, ok?

CATELYN: ...

ANNIE: Oh, right. You don’t really know what’s going on do you?

KEVIN: Nope. You have nicely and politely done absolutely nothing to get the weird loner girl up to speed.

ANNIE: Shut up.

ANNIE: So you know about my preposterously rich brother, Zachary, right?

Catelyn nods (1)

ANNIE: So anyways, Neil here...

as Annie sums up recent oddities zoom slowly onto a little blue flicker of electricity coming out of the wall near them. (3-4)

follow the electricity through the wall as it arcs down into the ground, out of the school and back up into Donovan, who is crouching by the school walls. He is crackling with electricity. (3-5)

ANNIE: (through the electricity thing) And then Kevin figured out how to control his potato chip abilities-

Donovan is pulled away from the wall. the connection dissipates. (2)

Donovan sends a circuit of electricity through his hand, but his assailant punches him out before he can do anything. (3)

The assailant drags Donovan’s limp form away. On the assailants shirt is an insignia of a tower, identical to the one on the building where Leon is being kept (1-2)

END OF CHAPTER 1

#be quiet george #thescarykitty #infernostorm912 #orlopzi

webcomic script for the people who wanted to proofread it. Sorry if some decriptions are vague or characters or whatever

Draft script thing

lightning arcs across a field, landing directly in the middle (1-2)

the bolt leaves a largish crater in the field. (1)

Azrael is crouching in the middle of the field. He picks up his swords, which are lying on the ground next to him. (2-4)

Azrael stands up (2)

Azrael’s wings unfurl behind him (2)

Azrael shoots into the air. (1-2)

black page (1)

hazy 1st person eye opening (4)

show Neil lying spread eagle on bed, eyes half open. a few used tissues lie next to him. (1)

Neil groggily makes his way downstairs to the kitchen (3)

zoom in on stove clock. the time is 8:00. (1)

Neil sniffles (1)

1st person view of backpack (1)

1st person view of front door (1)

backpack(1)

door(1)

backpack (1)

1st person view of stairs (1)

show silhouette of neil back in bed. a siren goes off in the distance. (1)

black page, in the middle in white reads ‘Three days later’ (1)

Neil lies in bed. his fathers voice from downstairs yells, ‘Neil! get up! its 6:30.’ (2)

Neil sits up in bed and stays there for a panel (2)

Shot of Neil getting dressed (1)

Shot of Neil brushing teeth (1)

Neil eating breakfast with father:

silence (1)

DAD: Your mother called while you were asleep.

NEIL: mmm.

DAD: We haven’t seen her in three years.

NEIL: mhm.

DAD: ... So don’t you want to know what she had to say?

NEIL: (silence)

Neil stands up suddenly, interrupting his father.

NEIL: I left my bag in my room.

Neil leaves. (1)

Dad sits alone at tables, looking into space thoughtfully (2 panels)

close up of broken piece, barely visible against the carpet. caption: ‘The fuck...’ (1)

Neil scoops up the piece and looks at it (1)

he tries to put it back in its hole. there is a small *fzzt* sound as he sticks half of it in.(2)

he pulls it back out. the half that was placed back in its hole has disappeared (2-3)

Neil’s phone buzzes (1)

Neil checks it. Its from Kevin (1)

KEVIN: Hey man are you sick again

NEIL: Nah I got over it a couple days ago

KEVIN: Then get your lazy ass out here. I’m the goddamn QB I can’t be seen walkin to school without my bitches in tow.

NEIL: Yeah ok. Call me when these bitches of yours show up

KEVIN: F off. Are you comin or not.

NEIL: Yeah hold your horses.

Neil looks around frantically, and throws the fractured piece into his bag. (3)

NEIL: Coming!

next page: Neil sits in a classroom, looking bored. students around him include Catelyn but not Kevin or Annie. (1)

show the front of the room, where the teacher stands with Leon.

show view of the entire class, all of them looking hella bored and adolescent (1)

Leon smiles nervously and waves with his fingers. (1)

back to view of hella bored class. (1)

TEACHER: ...Alright then. Take a seat Leon. Everyone turn to page 247 in your textbooks.

Leon takes a seat. Everyone turns to page 247 in their textbooks. (2-3)

skip to lunchtime. Neil, Kevin, and Annie are sitting at one table with some other random friends that we don't care about. Catelyn is sitting 2 tables away. (1-2)

focus on Neil’s table. Kevin is in the center, with Neil moping to his left and Annie looking at him with a small smile. Unnamed friends all look at him expectantly(1)

KEVIN: And so then I was like, why don’t you get your own cucumber plant?

EVERYONE BUT NEIL: (rancorous laughter)

KEVIN: But man, I tell ya, the potato chip industry has really gone to shit. Like, just the other day I got some Lays and just as i was opening it-

there is a popping sound. a single potato chip magically appears on Kevins tray. Neil’s eyebrows scrunch together, Annies eyes widen, random other friends do similar things (2)

KEVIN: The fuck?

RANDOM FRIEND: Dude is that a potato chip

Kevin picks up the potato chip, scrutinizes it, and then nibbles at the corner (3)

KEVIN: What the hell...

ANNIE: What is it?

Kevin spits out the chip (1-2)

KEVIN: Oh god that was so stale.

EVERYBODY BUT NEIL: (rancorous laughter)

Neil looks away and rummages in his bag for the piece of his room that fell out. as he touches it, another potato chip appears on Kevins plate (3)

EVERYONE BUT NEIL: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO

cut to Catelyn sitting at her table alone (1)

Leon approaches her with his tray (2-3)

LEON: Mind if I sit with you?

Catelyn doesn't speak. Leon sits down across from her and takes a bite of food (2-3)

LEON: The students here aren't very welcoming, huh?

Catelyn remains silent (1)

LEON: (excited) Oh my! are you one of those moody loner girls I heard so much about?

Catelyn remains silent (1)

LEON: Oh my gosh you are! Do you sit alone at lunch every day? Ohh, you probably listen to moody music and read really weird books!

LEON: Oh, I’ve read so much about people like you! I am so glad to finally meet-

CATELYN: what is your problem?

LEON: Excuse me?

CATELYN: You’re talking about me like I’m some kind of fascinating new animal that you’ve just seen at the zoo. Where the hell did you say you were from again?

LEON: Oh! Um. right. (nervous giggle) I’m from... uhh...

LEON: Canada! Yes. I am Canadian. Born and raised in the capital city of Pyongya - I mean Ottawa. Yeah. Um. Am I irritating you?

CATELYN: (sarcastically) Oh, noo. of course not.

LEON: Oh good! I was a little worried for a second. What is your name?

CATELYN: Cately-

Leon glances over to see Kevin create another potato chip (1)

LEON: Actually, hold that thought.

Leon dashes away towards Neil’s table, Catelyn rolls her eyes bitterly. (2)

Cut to Neil’s table. Potato chips are popping up like theres no tomorrow. Everyone is fucking pumped except for Annie who is relatively disconcerted. and Nei who is apathetic as fuck (2-3)

Leon busts in between Kevin and Annie in a mix of nervousness and excitement. (1-2)

LEON: (to Kevin, anxious) Who are you? How did you do that? Who sent you here?

KEVIN: What the hell man? What's this shit about capybaras?

LEON: (suddenly angry, grabbing Kevin by the collar) WHO ARE YOU? WHO SENT YOU? WHAT THANEDOM DO YOU BELONG TO?

KEVIN: (scared) What the hell man? What are you talking about?

Leons caption reads, ‘Wait a minute. He actually doesn’t know how hes doing it? Is this some sort of mind trick? Or - Oh fuck.’

Kevin sits back down, rolls his eyes and gets resituated, and eats another potato chip. Neil looks down at his broken piece (4)

NEIL: I’ll be right back.

Neil runs out after Leon (2)

ANNIE: Hey, where are you going?

Annie runs after Neil (2)

Kevin looks down at his massive potato chip loot and makes a face

KEVIN: (sighs) I need new friends.

Kevin runs out after Annie and Neil (2)

Cut to Neil running through the hallways next to the cafeteria, piece clutched in one hand, looking around frantically. Leon is nowhere to be seen. (3-4)

Kevin and Annie are seen running towards Neil. Neil’s caption: Where the hell is he... (1)

ANNIE: Hey Neil! Wait up!

cut to Neil’s piece in his hands (1)

KEVIN: Dude, what the hell is that?

Neil looks down at the piece in his hands (!)

NEIL: ... Its sorta hard to explain

ANNIE: We have time.

KEVIN: (mumbling) actually lunch ends in ten minutes...

NEIL: Ok... well I’m not actually sure what it is myself...

NEIL: I was getting my shit ready for school this morning, right?

KEVIN: Okay... Neil might be bat shit insane... So why were you chasing that new kid just now?

NEIL: Well when he was flipping out in your face, he looked down at this thing and then ran away. I thought he might know what it is.

ANNIE: ... And then he disappeared.

NEIL: Yeah pretty much.

NEIL: Speaking of your brother, can you give this to him to look at? Maybe he knows what it is. holds out piece

ANNIE: ... Yeah I guess. I don’t know when he’ll be available; hes always off on one business trip or another. Anyway, we should get back to the cafeteria before the bell rings.

All 3 of them walk cafeteria-wards (1)

Cut to Catelyn eating alone (1)

Pan out to reveal Leon sitting next to her with a dark expression on his face

LEON: Catelyn. I am in quite a large predicament.

CATELYN: (mildly startled) When did you get back?

LEON: That is irrelevant. I am somewhere I shouldn’t be and as far as I can tell there is no way out.

CATELYN: (sarcastic) Well, The interstate is a few miles down the road.

LEON: (brightening up) The Interstate? Do you think that could get me out of here?

CATELYN: (raises eyebrows) ...Yeah. Sure.

Leon smiles happily at Catelyn (1)

LEON: Do you think you can guide me to this interstate after school? I prefer to have company with me on my walks.

Close up of Catelyns face. Catelyn’s caption: Is he... hitting on me? Should I do it? (1)

Catelyns Caption: Ehh.. Why not.

CATELYN: Yeah sure. Its not like I have anything better to do.

All characters are startled by a totally unexpected SCENE CHANGE

Cut to Neil Kevin and Annie walking away from school with their backpacks

Narrator Caption: 3 hours later...

KEVIN: So apparently Annie was right and it was me making those potato chips out of thin air.

NEIL: Cool.

ANNIE: Wait what? How?

KEVIN: I honestly don’t know. I figured out how to control it during science, so I made a shit ton of chips, but Mrs. Gadwall saw them and gave me detention for bringing snacks to a lab.

NEIL: Then shouldn’t you be there right now?

KEVIN: (shrugs) I thought about going. But then I got to wondering if potato chip superheroes have to go to detention. And I couldn’t really think of a good answer. So here I am.

ANNIE: Potato chip superhero? Really?

Kevin grins (1)

Kevin smiles quietly (1)

a bitchin black sports cars pulls up to the curb and rolls down its window (1-2)

EDGAR: (Edgar is a butler robot designed by Zach.) Annie. I am here to take you home. Would your friends like a ride.

KEVIN: Nah man, our houses aren’t too far away. Thanks though!

Edgar gives a stiff nod, and Annie climbs into the passenger seat. The car drives away. (2-4)

panel of Neil and Kevin walking away (1)

CUE CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN (idk they seem easy to make so why not)

options are LEON AND CATELYN, ANNIE, KEVIN, and NEIL

ANNIE OPTION

Edgar and Annie drive up a steep hill to a modern looking mansion (1-3)

Annie gets out of the car. Edgars eyes dim as he deactivates his chauffeur body. Annie walks up to the front door and goes inside (2-5)

large shot of hella fancy Capulet Mansion (1)

A hawk-sized pterodactyl flies down and lands on Annie’s arm (2-3)

ANNIE: Hey there!

Annie give the pterodactyl a treat from her bag, and he flies off. (2)

Annie goes downstairs. (1)

The basement is dark. Annie peers into it, trying to see. (2)

a pair of eyes illuminate in the shadows (1)

Annie is surprised (1)

Zach shoots out of the shadows on a comfy looking rolly chair. the lights turn on to reveal a batcave-esque shindig with all sorts of fancy electro-gadgets and cyber-thingamajigs (2-3)

ZACH: Hey Annie! How was school? (Zach lands at a different computer from the one he launched himself from and begins typing)

Zach rockets off to a third computer and catches the piece in mid air (3)

ANNIE: Yeah sure. I have homework anyways.

ZACH: Well then you best get on that shit!

Annie runs upstairs(1)

Zach smiles happily (3)

Zach’s face dissolves into a hardened scowl (1)

ZACH: Edgar. Lock her doors.

EDGAR: (from the ceiling ) As you say, Zachary.

A few whirs and clicks emit from one of the computers

ZACH: Is it soundproofed?

EDGAR: As always.

ZACH: (walking upstairs) Good. Send them in.

On the main floor, Zach reclines easily on a couch and picks up a beer bottle that was on the coffee table. (2-3)

The front doors open to reveal two bulky men wearing suits, sunglasses, and earpieces. (1-2)

ZACH: Hey fellas! sit down, have a drink!

BARTCORP THUG 1: (pulling out a silenced glock) Sampson Bartleby sends his regards.

ZACH: You guys are no fun.

Zach throws his beer bottle at thug 1. it breaks over their forehead and rains shards down over their body. (2-3)

The thug 2 pulls out his gun as well, and thug 1 tries to regain his aim. (1-2)

Zach smashes thug 1’s knee inwards, and pulls the body in front of him just as thug 2 pulls the trigger (2-3)

Zach takes the gun from thug 1’s body and shoots thug\2 twice in the head. (2)

Zach drops thug 1 and unloads the pistol. (2)

Zach picks up an ear piece off of one of the bodies and puts it to his ear.(2)

ZACH: Sammy! Y’there?

SAMPSON: Mr. Capulet.

ZACH: Hey man! How are things? Didja get my package?

SAMPSON: If by package you mean the bomb you shipped to my factories in Bolivia, then yes. I did. Or rather, the orphanage in the neighboring town did.

SAMPSON: Mr. Capulet, has it ever occured to you that you might not be my biggest concern anymore?

ZACH: (chuckling) Bartleby, are you cheating on me?

ZACH:...

ZACH: (grin hardens into a scowl) Likewise.

Zach throws the earpiece to the ground, shattering it. (1-2)

ZACH: (pinching bridge of nose) Edgar. Clean this up.

black panel (1)

NEIL OPTION!

Show Neil and Kevin approach Neil’s house. (1-2)

NEIL: See y’tommorow.

KEVIN: Yeah, later.

Neil goes up his walk (1)

Neil opens his front door

NEIL: I’m home!

no response

NEIL: *sigh*

Neil’s caption: dad must still be at work

Neil goes upstairs to his room (1-3)

The hole in his room has gotten bigger. 2-3 other pieces lie beneath it. (1-2)

Neil shakes his head and grimaces (1-2)

He ducks under the hole and sits down at his desk, throwing his backpack next to him. (1-2)

DONOVAN: Don’t turn around.

NEIL: (sitting up, starts to turn) What the-

DONOVAN: I said don’t turn around.

Neil stops and slowly returns to sitting forward

NEIL: My mom’s jewelry is in-

DONOVAN: I am not here to rob you.

DONOVAN: My name is Donovan.

NEIL: Excu-

NEIL: You know something about the static?

DONOVAN: Yes. I do. That is why I came to you. To teach you.

NEIL: Teach me what? Who even are you?

DONOVAN: Things. Self control. Leadership. The like.

NEIL: ... What...

DONOVAN: soon you will have abilities. Much like your friend Kevin.

NEIL: How do you know Kevin?

DONOVAN: Thats irrelevant.

Neils caption: Is this guy for real?

Neil suddenly swivels his chair around, getting a full view of Donovans face (2-3)

Neil, surprised, swivels back around. (1-2)

Neils caption: Oh yeah. He’s for real.

DONOVAN: I told you not to look.

NEIL: Wow. Um. Wow. Your face is...

DONOVAN: (grimacing) Didn’t your dad tell you not to point out peoples deformities.

NEIL: (blushes) Sorry. Its just-

DONOVAN: Its fine. The static bit isn’t actually my face. I was wearing a mask for something when it fell off. sorta like that bit in your backpack. Haven’t been able to take it off since.

NEIL: So you can move the static around? Like, the mask stays on your face?

NEIL: So the static does destroy things it touches?

DONOVAN: Of course it does. I saw you this morning, poking the piece that fell out into it.

NEIL: You’ve been watching me?!?!?

NEIL: ...

DONOVAN: Not a word of this exchange to either of your friends, okay?

NEIL: Yeah. Yeah, definitely

black (1)

KEVIN OPTION!

Kevin and Neil pass Neils house. Neil goes up the walk. (2)

NEIL: See y’tomorrow.

KEVIN: Yeah, later.

Kevin keeps walking. (1)

and walking (1)

still walking (1)

entering some seedy neighborhoods (1)

Kevin approaches a low class apartment building and opens the door (2-3)

Kevins caption: Not to far away my ass...

Kevin walks up some stairs and comes to a door. (2-3)

there is a smashing noise as Kevin opens the door. (1)

Kevins dad is stumbling around the room. His mother is crouched against a wall, sacred. there is a broken beer bottle smashed next to her head. (1-2)

Kevin stares at the scene hardly, then walks towards a door to the side of the room(1-3)

He goes to his room, throws his bag on the floor, and sits down on his desk. (2)

KEVIN’S DAD: Ware th’hell is muh son?

Kevin turns to the door just as his dad stumbles in. (1-3)

Kevins dad sits down on kevins bed heavily. (1-2)

KEVINS DAD: Is been a long time since w’ve had a talk.

KEVIN: I-

KEVINS DAD: Ah don’ mean anny uh dat wishy washy small talk neither.]

KEVINS DAD: Noo, we’s gonn have a real talk, man a man. Father t’ son. Gottit?

KEVIN: Uh, yessir.

KEVINS DAD: Yeh, thas good. Callin me sir. Thas repsectful. Ah raise ya well.

KEVIN: (snarkily) Wow. Good job, sir. Someone should give you a medal.

Kevins caption: Fuck me.

KEVINS DAD: Wut didju jus say t’me? Wussat... Surchasm?

KEVIN: N-nossir.

KEVINS DAD: d’yew need a beatin, boy? I ken hitcha like I dijyur ma jus now.

Kevins dad grabs a soccer trophy from Kevins dresser. (1-2) Kevins caption: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

KEVINS DAD: Yur jus like yur ma. No respeck.

Kevin looks toward the window to his right. (1-2)

Kevins caption: Not like i haven’t done it before.

Kevin bursts from his chair and jumps out the window, flipping in midair so he lands feet first.(3-5)

Kevin lands in a dumpster with a thump (1-2)

KEVINS DAD: WUT?!?!?

KEVINS DAD: YOU GITJER ASS BACK HERE, BOY!

KEVINS DAD: (incoherant ranting)

long pause

KEVINS DAD: (muffled crying)

KEVINS DAD: C’mon back up here son. I din’t mean anny harm.

Kevin stays in the dumpster (1)

KEVINS DAD: C’mon Kev... (still crying)

KEVINS DAD: (more sad drunken blither)

after a while, kevin can hear his dad leaving his room (1-2)

Kevins waits a bit (1)

Kevin gets out of the dumpster (1-2)

Kevin goes back to the door of the apartment building (1-2)

Kevin goes back inside (1)

black panel (1)

LEON AND CATELYN OPTION!

Catelyn is chilling next to the school (1)

Catelyn looks at her phone. Phone says 3 missed calls- Dave (1-2)

Catelyn wantonly ignores her pining father in favor of teenage rebellion and angst. (1-2)

Catelyn looks around for Leon. he is not there. (1-3)

LEON: Hello.

Leon is standing next to Catelyn. (1)

CATELYN: What the shit

CATELYN: When did you get here

LEON: Just now. Where is this ‘interstate’ you were telling me about.

CATELYN: Uh, that way. (pointing down the road)

LEON: Excellent. Will you, um, accompany me there? As per our prior arrangement?

CATELYN: Oh my god. You are totally hitting on me.

Leon looks at Catelyn blankly. (1)

Leon looks down at a fist. (1)

Leon looks back up at Catelyn. (1)

Catelyns caption: There is no way he’s from Canada.

CATELYN: Forget about it. Lets go.

LEON: Oh, right. Yes. Lead the way.

They walk away from the school towards the interstate (1)

Cut to the interstate. large panel showing the interstate. Cars are driving by. There is a safety rail. there is trash. Wow, highways are amazing.(1)

Catelyn stops at the safety rail and sits down with her feet in the bike lane thing. (1-3)

LEON: Excuse me? why are you stopping?

CATELYN: (gives leon a judgemental look) This is the interstate.

CATELYN: What the hell?

LEON: (extremely upset) What year is it.

CATELYN: Wow. That question was straight out of an anime.

LEON: WHAT. YEAR. IS. IT.

CATELYN: 2014! Christ!

LEON: Oh damn it. Oh god damn it.

CATELYN: Wow. 20 bucks says Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to appear out of nowhere completely naked and start blowing shit up

panel of Leon staring at Catelyn angrily and confused. (1)

reuse panel, but put a large explosion in the background (1)

LEON: ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck

CATELYN: Well speak of the devil.

LEON: Catelyn, this may come as a bit of a surprise.

CATELYN: I honestly doubt it.

Leons tattoos begin to rise above his collar (1)

LEON: I am not from Canada.

CATELYN: Yep. figured that one out on my own.

LEON: (tattoos have reached his cheeks) I am not strictly from your plane of existence either.

CATELYN: Thats a little surprising. I guess.

there is another explosion, closer this time (1)

LEON: Ok, Catelyn, I need to go see what’s making those explosions, so please don’t faint or something when i do what i’m about to do right now.

CATELYN: You are not very good at listening are you.

back view of Leon, his wings unfurling (1-2)

close up up Leons hands. his tattoos extend past his hands and form twin flintlock pistols. (2-4)

CATELYN: Wow. Them’s pistols.

a third explosion explodes in front of them. (1-2)

The dust sort of dissipates, revealing Azrael’s silhouette (1)

LEON: Catelyn. Run.

Catelyn dutifully obliges (1-2)

LEON: Azrael. The wolf of Avalon. Which lowlife Thane are you serving now?

The dust clears all the way, revealing a full view of Azrael. (1)

AZRAEL: Avalon was a long time ago. I’ve changed since we last met

LEON: I can tell. The Azrael I know would have killed me before I had a chance to blink.

Leon opens fire on Azrael (1)

Azrael shields himself with a gout of flame, but is pushed back by the volley. (1-3)

AZRAEL: I’m not here to- (Azrael is interrupted by another salvo of shadowy tattoo bullets.)

LEON: I don’t care who you’re here to kill. (wowzers more bullets)

AZRAEL: I'm not here to kill anyone!

LEON: Thats just what a murderer would say!

More bullets

AZRAEL: God damn it. Fine. If you want a fight, I’ll give it to you. (Azrael’s swords catch fire)

Make a page or so of hella rad fighting panels. Do whatever you want with it.

End the fighting thing with Azrael and Leon locked up in the middle of a dust cloud that resulted from the fighting (1)

POLICE OFFICER: FREEZE! PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

The dust dissipates to reveal a bunch of heavily armed SWAT mofos (1)

black (1)

END OF THING

Neil lies spread eagle on his bed. his clock reads 6:45. It is also beeping. Add some static spots to the sides of the panel. (1)

Cut to kitchen. Neil’s dad is eating cereal with a grin on his face (1)

Neil comes downstairs. (1)

NEILS DAD: Your mom’s coming home tomorrow!

NEIL: (tired) Huh? I thought she wasn't going to be home for a few months.

NEILS DAD: Nope! Apparently someone found something pertaining to her research over here of all places, so she and Patrick are flying down tomorrow.

Neil’s Caption: Patrick. Ugh.

NEIL: Thats great.

NEILS DAD: You betcha! Tomorrow night we’ll all be together again. Just like old times, eh?

NEIL: (small smile) Yeah.

cut to homeroom (1)

some students are gossiping by the window (1)

Catelyn is sitting at her desk (1)

so is Neil (1)

KID1: Dude did you hear about that Leon kid?

KID2: No man did something happen with him?

KID1: Are you kidding me? That crazy ass motherfucker got arrested!

KID2: No way! Him?

KID3: Dude thats putting it lightly. Y’know how my dads a cop?

KID1: Yeah? Didja hear the dispatch thing?

KID3: Damn straight. Apparently there was some sorta gunfight in the middle of the interstate. Leon and some dude with a black hood.

KID2: No fuckin’ way.

KID1: I mean are you surprised? apparently he went apeshit of Kevin yesterday at lunch

KID2: Yeah that was messed up.

Neil looks up confused (1)

cut to Leon and Azrael (1)

LEON: Look where your petty assassination attempt has gotten us.

AZRAEL: I wasn’t trying to kill anyone!

LEON: So you say.

panel of silence (1)

LEON: Was it Baldr?

AZRAEL: What?

LEON: the one who hired you. It was Baldr, wasn’t it?

AZRAEL: No! It wasn’t Baldr! Baldr’s been dead for ten years!

LEON: Oh. Really? Thats a relief. I tried to kill him during the Scholar’s Revolt and he hasn’t forgiven me since.

AZRAEL: And here you are accusing me of trying to kill people.

LEON: But you do! thats your thing! You’re the Sellsword of Elysium! The Wolf of Avalon! You’re a damn hitman!

AZRAEL: You’ve been in this pocket for much too long. I haven’t accepted a contract in fifteen years.

LEON: What do you mean I’ve been in this pocket for too long? I’ve been here two days!

AZRAEL: That can’t be.

LEON: Yes it can! Capricorn’s coup was a week ago! Wasn’t it?

AZRAEL: Capricorn has been in power for seventeen years.

LEON: How can that be? I don’t remember being gone for seventeen years. Have you messed with my timeline?

AZRAEL: No, I haven’t?

LEON: Then who? You’re the only damn Manipulative I know that can work with-

the door to Leon’s cell opens with a bang. (1)

GUARD: Here he his, Dr. Donahue.

large panel of the open door. The guard is leaning on the door. Neil’s Mom stands in the doorway. (1)

NEILS MOM: Thanks, Jerry.

cut to Leon and Neil’s Mom sitting alone in Leons cell.(1)

NEILS MOM: My name is Rosalin Donahue.

LEON: Fascinating

ROSALIN: Who are you?

LEON: My name is Leon.

ROSALIN: Are you an Angel?

LEON: Thats rather forward. From the Adamite literature I’ve read, your species tends to beat around the bush quite a bit before getting to the heavy questions.

ROSALIN: Well? Are you?

LEON: Yes. By your definitions. We prefer the the title Celistii. If you care.

ROSALIN: Wonderful! Now, If my research is correct, Your kind normally exists outside of our universe?

LEON: Yes.

ROSALIN: Then what are you doing here?

LEON: There was a coup. Then several assassination attempts. Maybe an illegitimate child here and there. Long story short, politics is stupid and I came here until things die down.

ROSALIN: You seem very ready to answer my questions.

LEON: Is that strange?

ROSALIN: Well, no-

LEON: Arg! you bastard! I’ll never tell you the codes!

LEON: Is that more to your liking?

ROSALIN: Well not quite, but I would think celestial beings would be more cagey about answering questions from lower life forms.

LEON: You think because I can grow wings and make weapons out of my tattoos and you can’t makes you lower than me?

ROSALIN: Um. Yeah. I do.

LEON: Thats quaint.

ROSALIN: ...

LEON: So how are you dealing with Azrael in the other room?

ROSALIN: My colleague is interviewing him now.

cut to Azrael and Patrick sitting in Azrael’s cell.

PATRICK: Hello. My name is Patrick Silver. What is your name?

AZRAEL: I am known as Azrael.

PATRICK: So you are an Angel?

AZRAEL: ... Excuse me?

PATRICK: Azrael is the name of the Angel of Death in some Islamic faiths.

AZRAEL: It would be very much appreciated if you refrain from calling me titles that might suggest that i kill people for a living.

PATRICK: Oh. Sorry. But if you’re not an Angel, what are you?

AZRAEL: My species calls itself the Celisitii. What are these Angels you speak of?

AZRAEL: Oh. I suppose I am an Angel.

PATRICK: Excellent! If my research serves correctly, your kind exists outside of our known universe?

AZRAEL: That is correct.

PATRICK: You seem to have a firm grasp on the English language for an alien.

AZRAEL: It is probably more correct to say you have a firm grasp on Babelish.

PATRICK: ...I don’t follow.

AZRAEL: You say my name has been mentioned in the lore of your kind?

PATRICK: Yeah! Several times. In multiple faiths.

AZRAEL: Well, this is not the first time my kind has come to your plane of existence.

PATRICK: Really? When did you last come here?

AZRAEL: I don’t know. Maybe three thousand years ago?

PATRICK: Wow. You’re old.

AZRAEL: My kind does not die of disease or age like yours does.

PATRICK: Yeah, I can see.

PATRICK: Yeah, and then God decided that humanity was too powerful, so he sent his angels to confuse the one language up into lots of different languages. I was a theology major. I know the story.

AZRAEL: Well thats not exactly what happened. But thats the basic idea.

PATRICK: So if you people- the angels, i mean- separated Babelish into so many different languages, why do you think I’m speaking it now?

PATRICK: Wait, if you haven’t been to earth in 3000 years, how do you know these things about our languages?

AZRAEL: There have been reports from other Celistiem who visited your world

PATRICK: Thats another thing, why are your people interested in us?

panel of silence (1)

AZRAEL: I am done answering questions.

cut to Patrick and Rosalin walking away from the building. The building is pretty blank looking. there is an insignia of a tower above the door (1)

ROSALIN: My subject was very sarcastic. Sort of philosophical. He knew a lot about our culture. I didn’t get much information except that they call themselves Celistiem. You?

ROSALIN: Oh please. I could have told you most of that. But that bit about English is interesting. I guess.

PATRICK: (grinning) Hey, at least Azrael had something useful to say

ROSALIN: (also grinning) Azrael? So you’re on a first name basis with the Angel of Death?

PATRICK: He doesn’t like to be called that apparently. I got the impression that he had done some pretty nasty things in the past and he was trying to turn over a new leaf

ROSALIN: Then what should we call him?

PATRICK: Hell if I know. The Angel of Tai Chi maybe? The Harbinger of Meditative Gardening?

ROSALIN: (laughing) Shut up.

Cut to lunch. Everyone is at their usual places. Except Leon. Because the Fuzz nabbed him. Fuck the police. (1)

KEVIN: Yo so apparently that Leon guy blew up the interstate or something yesterday

ANNIE: Yeah I heard that!

NEIL: Wait he did? How?

KEVIN: Hell if I know.

ANNIE: I mean are you surprised?

KEVIN: Nah. The fucker pulled that shit with me yesterday. I guess you could say he’s got some…

zoom in on kevins smiling face (1)

KEVIN: VioLEONt tendencies.

GENERIC NAMELESS FRIENDS: (rancorous laughter)

NEIL: (muttering) that wasnt even funny.

cut to Catelyn, who is eating lunch alone (1)

spread the following out over multiple captions

ANNIE: Excuse me!

CATELYN: ....

ANNIE: You were friends with Leon, right?

CATELYN: I- Um-

KEVIN: You were, weren’t you? I remember you were sitting with him yesterday.

CATELYN: Well, not really friends per se-

ANNIE: But you knew him?

NEIL: Were you there when he was arrested?

KEVIN: What did he use to blow up the interstate?

CATELYN: I- well- um-

ANNIE: Guys, stop it! she can’t answer everything at once!

Kevin and Neil shut up. (1)

ANNIE: Thank you. Now, how did you know Leon?

KEVIN: Thats strange. Canadians don’t usually blow up highways.

CATELYN: Well, um, he wasn’t actually Canadian.

ANNIE: What was he?

CATELYN: I don’t know. He asked me to take him to the interstate after school. at first I thought he was running away. Then I though, I don’t know... That he was hitting on me. Or something.

KEVIN: Interesting idea for a first date.

NEIL: What?

CATELYN: You’ll think I’m some sort of dumb friendless geek.

KEVIN: So our opinion of you will remain uncha-OOFF

Annie has punched Kevin in the stomach. (1)

ANNIE: Go on. We won’t judge you.

CATELYN: Well... I don’t know if I saw it right, but I thought I saw Leon grow wings. Like dragon wings.

NEIL: What?

CATELYN: Big scaly wings! I don’t know... I was probably in shock or something...

ANNIE: I don’t know... Kevin started conjuring potato chips out of mid air yesterday, and Neil’s room broke.

Catelyn gives a questioning stare (1)

NEIL: It’s sorta hard to explain... Speaking of that, did your brother have anything to say about the piece?

ANNIE: No not yet. I gave it to him, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.

NEIL: Tell me as soon as he does, ok?

CATELYN: ...

ANNIE: Oh, right. You don’t really know what’s going on do you?

KEVIN: Nope. You have nicely and politely done absolutely nothing to get the weird loner girl up to speed.

ANNIE: Shut up.

ANNIE: So you know about my preposterously rich brother, Zachary, right?

Catelyn nods (1)

ANNIE: So anyways, Neil here...

as Annie sums up recent oddities zoom slowly onto a little blue flicker of electricity coming out of the wall near them. (3-4)

follow the electricity through the wall as it arcs down into the ground, out of the school and back up into Donovan, who is crouching by the school walls. He is crackling with electricity. (3-5)

ANNIE: (through the electricity thing) And then Kevin figured out how to control his potato chip abilities-

Donovan is pulled away from the wall. the connection dissipates. (2)

Donovan sends a circuit of electricity through his hand, but his assailant punches him out before he can do anything. (3)

The assailant drags Donovan’s limp form away. On the assailants shirt is an insignia of a tower, identical to the one on the building where Leon is being kept (1-2)

END OF CHAPTER 1

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