I swear fast food places are just pits of hell geared towards conditioning the employees into hate filled hearts. Because at any point, I brave enough to ask for no pickles, and mind you this is mostly through apps - yes that takes bravery, shut up- when I ask for no pickles they take that as a CHALLENGE!
I have nothing against pickles, I do enjoy them, but by themselves. Pickles are extremely strong flavored and I don’t enjoy buying the whole American layered cuisine that is the infamous burger where all I will taste is Mr. Pickle. Burgers are getting to be quite the expense, if I wanted to taste pickle, I’d pluck it from the jar at home! Or guzzle a glizzy from some lucky trousers - same salty vinegar taste, I enjoy both, doesn’t matter.
Now a burger I’ve found, no matter where I go. Fancy or otherwise, there seems to be this rule that makes sense: Only 2 slices of pickle. If one is misshapen or sliced wrong, add a small third to make up for it. But no more than 3 or it will ruin the delicate balance of the cuisine.
See when I ask for no pickles I will find to my chagrin, too many fucking pickles! Without fail. I had to stop going to Krystals for goodness sake. Their sliders are half a palm, they only ever put one sliver of pickle on there. But when I say no pickles?
Not ONLY do they leave the pickle in there, but when I go through and take them all out then take my bite to finally enjoy the slider… they placed a pickle sliver on BOTH sides of the cheese. That was on purpose. That was to fuck with me. That took effort. You had to place pickle, slab cheese, and then place ANOTHER pickle. All 12 times! Yes twelve, I may have been a big back, hush now.
Same with mustard. Oh Krystals was the worst, I would ask “no pickle, no mustard, use mayonnaise, I pay extra for cheese” and what did they do? MANY TIMES?
EXTRA pickle, MUSTARD only, and NO CHEESE! That I paid extra for!
I’m through. I’m through with the American burger. These cooks be so vicious, so diabolical! I have begged, I have pleaded, I have unmarked it on the app, I have rolled back around and asked them kindly to remake it a couple of times and swear to gawd it was spat in, but I ate it anyway because I thought it was kinda hot.
No more!