#thesleepsenseprogram

[graciouslittlethings]

Why I Chose To Train My Baby to Sleep Through The Night

One of the questions which most relatives love to ask when your baby turns 3 months or so is, "Is your baby sleeping through the night now?" Sleeping through the night or STTN as it is commonly known in the parent fraternity is probably the dream of every mother. As if we're not tired enough already from the day's chores and duties, we have to suffer prolonged broken sleep when baby wakes up in the middle of the night, demanding to feed or wanting to play. 

Well, after Baby Dozer turned 1 year old, thanks to the intervention of my dearest friend, my sanity was restored and I managed to SUCCESSFULLY train Baby Dozer to STTN. I am emphasising on the word "successfully" because before this, I had tried various methods and advice from my cousin and aunties and failed. I have shared my successful methods in a post here.

Today, I've decided to write this post because after sharing last week how I successfully trained Baby Dozer to STTN (click here to read), I received a couple of questions asking me why I chose to train my baby to STTN. There are many people who aren't in favour of "sleep training". Here's what I've been told:

"It's OK, baby will outgrow it."

"Isn't it cruel to let your baby cry?" (Because training does involve some crying)

"It must be because your baby isn't full. You don't have enough breastmilk for him." (There we go again, the insults we breastfeeding mothers have to bear)

It is probably smarter not to respond to any of the comments above, but as parents, we need to make informed decisions so if you're unsure as to whether you should train your baby to STTN, here are some factors you might want to consider. Please note that the opinions expressed here are my personal choice and I am in no way judging other mothers who may have different views. To reiterate, I am writing this post merely to share my point of view and possibly provide you with some consideration factors in case you're unsure or need a little discussion.

I chose to train my baby to STTN because:

1. Children who don't sleep well have lower IQs than children who do (Source: Dana Obleman's website)

Dana Obleman is the sleep consultant to whom I owe my success to. After reading her book and following her instructions EXACTLY, Baby Dozer was able to STTN from Night #5 onwards. Besides having lower IQs, there are other implications to having broken sleep at night according to Dana Obleman:

More likely to be obese

At higher risk for hyperactivity (for boys)

Score lower in school tests

Perform worse on tests designed to assess memory, emotional control and organisation (for babies)

Now before you start branding me as a "kiasu" mum who wants her child to score "As" throughout his entire school life, the reason why I decided to start sleep training on Baby Dozer once I read this was because:

By not helping him to sleep well at night, I realised that I'm not helping him to enjoy his full potential, which I strongly feel is my duty as a parent. 

Some babies manage to STTN by the 3rd month of their lives. Other babies need some help and I felt that as a parent, it was my duty to help my baby as best as I could. 

There is a powerful visual on the Internet which shows a child's wings being clipped by his parents. I vowed I would try my best never to be such a parent. To me, if I don't help my child when I know that I can possibly do so, it is almost similar to clipping his wings. 

2. My personal health and concentration was failing me, putting my own life at risk

After getting involved in 2 car accidents, which were thankfully minor, I had a wake up call. Both times I knew I wasn't concentrating when the accidents happened. I didn't want another car accident which could potentially be deadly. 

Again, I felt it was my responsibility as a mother to take care of myself so that I could be there for Baby Dozer. 

3. I couldn't wait for Baby Dozer to "outgrow" it anymore. Time wasn't on my side

Some people think that babies will eventually stop waking up when they are ready. Dana Obleman refutes that belief. She has patients coming to see her who are well into primary school and still waking up in the middle of the night. 

I realise that it is a very fine balance between knowing whether your child is not ready or whether your child is ready but needs a little guidance. To me, there was no reason why my 1 year old would still need to wake up at night. If you follow my blog, you would know that Baby Dozer has a voracious appetite. He eats heartily all day long and I make sure to keep him full with frequent meals. 

Either way, once I read Dana Obleman's book, I was very sure about one thing:

I didn't want to play the 'wait and see' game anymore. What if he couldn't manage to learn to STTN until kindergarten? I would feel remorseful about not helping him when he needed guidance, especially after my friend had taken the initiative to share with me a proven method

I have written this post with the intention to help other parents out there decide, especially if you're unsure about whether training your child to STTN is the right thing to do. All I can say is there is no right or wrong. As parents, just be sure to consider all factors thoroughly. It's OK to be proven wrong but it's not OK to be careless about decisions and feel regret about them later. 

OK, enough of the serious talk! Have a great week ahead! 

P.S.: 

Click here to access Dana Obleman's site where you can purchase the e-book to learn her sleep training method. 

You can also read my personal experience and success in training Baby Dozer here. 

If you find Gracious Little Things helpful, like my Facebook page at facebook.com/graciouslittlethings or Instagram at instagram.com/graciouslittlethings to receive updates whenever there’s a new post!

Also, please check out my new venture at facebook.com/littlebabygrains where I sell organic baby rice for your babies suitable from 6 months onwards!

[graciouslittlethings]

How I Managed to Make My Baby Sleep Through The Night

Everyone always asks me if Baby Dozer is already sleeping through the night. Clearly this must be some wonderful feat or milestone in parenthood but, I wasn't there yet. Until...

Baby Dozer turned one. I call it a life-changing milestone. I had forgotten how good it felt to be fresh again; being able to have a good night's sleep without worrying when he was going to wake up and demand for a feed!

This is the 3rd instalment of my "Sleeping Series". I have already shared with you the methods I used to put Baby Dozer down for his naps and for bedtime without needing to rock or nurse him to sleep. If you missed those, check them out via the links below!

Sleeping Series:

Click to read: How I Managed to Put My Baby Down for Bedtime

Click to read: How I Managed to Put My Baby Down for Naptime With Minimal Fuss

My Background Story: 

When Baby Dozer was 5 months old, spurred on by my cousin's success with her twin daughters, I steadfastly decided that I would train Baby Dozer to sleep through the night, even if it meant not sleeping entirely for a week. My cousin shared that she succeeded in getting her daughters to sleep through the night by refusing to feed them when they woke up in the middle of the night. She didn't give them water but she kept rocking them until they eventually fell asleep. 

For 9 nights I persevered. My results: 

4 nights out of 9 nights: SUCCESS  Each time he woke up, I relied on the pacifier to well...pacify him. He would finally accept the pacifier after I gave it to him repeatedly, relent and fall asleep till about 5 or 6am. 

5 nights out of 9 nights: FAILURE The other times, I eventually gave in and fed him. It was so much easier. Baby Dozer dreamfeeds and goes right back to sleep immediately after so I ended up giving in.

End Result: FAILURE

After the 9th night, I naturally gave up out of sheer exhaustion. 9 nights of no sleep, a full-time job and motherhood. You get the idea. 

After that short burst of perseverance, I gave it a shot every month. Many of my relatives gave me all sorts of advice. I followed but never managed to succeed; not even for a night. 

Also, I didn't have much incentive to do it. It was just much easier to give in and feed Baby Dozer for about 5 minutes or so and then go back to sleep. 

Yes, I was inclined to agree with the statement above. BUT, after one year, the lack of sleep was taking its toll on me to the extent of being involved in 2 car accidents (thankfully minor). I felt tired all the time but I just assumed that that was normal. Being a mother means you always feel tired, right? 

The Breakthrough:

An unassuming catch-up session with one of my dearest friends from Canada prompted the remark, "What? Baby Dozer's still waking up at night? But he's 1 year old!" 

Typically, this is my cue to shrug my shoulders in a I-don't-know-what-to-do-and-I've-given-up pose. But my friend insisted on me reading this book called The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

I was naturally dubious and sceptical. Nevertheless, when your closest friend shares something, you always accept it with an open mind. Close friends always share great things with you. 

So, what do you think happened?

I read the book (it's an e-book)

I followed ALL the steps EXCEPT the part about putting baby in his own room to sleep. I only moved baby to his own room to sleep after he turned 18 months

Baby is SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT NOW!!!

UNBELIEVABLE, right???

I know. Even as I'm writing this post, I can hardly believe it myself too!!! 

How I Did It: 

1. How do you do it? Tell me, tell me, tell me!

Sorry, unlike my 2 previous posts where I learned from trial and error, I owe my success entirely to this book. After my experience trying to learn from my cousin and aunties, I've realised that incomplete information does more harm than good. Experience has taught me that if I've decided to do something, I need to follow the instructions exactly, because incomplete instructions do NOT yield results. Instead, what I can tell you is you MUST read the book. The steps outlined in the book are very comprehensive, thorough and practical. Here's a link to Dana Obleman's website where she sells the e-book. 

2. How long did it take you to train Baby Dozer to sleep through the night?

The book calls for the elimination of sleep props which include pacifiers. When Baby Dozer turned 1 year old and in my opinion, very ready to be weaned off his pacifier, I took immediate steps to remove it from him. It took Baby Dozer about a week for him to get used to the absence of the pacifier - basically he went cold turkey without it. During this one week, I still nursed him throughout the night whenever he woke up crying for a feed. 

After I had established that Baby Dozer could successfully sleep without the pacifier, I started the instructions outlined in The Sleep Sense Program and it took him 4 nights before he really started sleeping through without waking up and crying. 

Note of Caution: The book warns that every baby is different. Some babies sleep through the night within a few nights and some take a few weeks before they can sleep through the night. 

3. Why did you decide to stop the night feeds?

I was getting really tired having to wake up at night and still go to work. The car accidents were a wake-up call for me and I knew I had to do something. Also, I had this instinct that Baby Dozer wasn't getting sufficient sleep - somewhere deep down inside me, I knew it was important that he be able to have uninterrupted sleep at night, and reading Dana Obleman's book confirmed my feelings. Here's what she says on her website:

  4. Is there crying involved?

Yes, the program involves letting baby cry but it is NOT the cry-it-out method. I was thankful that Baby Dozer didn't have to cry too much before he successfully adapted to the change. 

5. What age should I start training my baby to sleep through the night?

I like that Dana's book allows the parent the flexibility to decide. Simply put, it's up to you but her book provides practical guidance about good sleeping habits from birth onwards! She also acknowledges night feedings especially during baby's early days. 

6. Does it mean that once baby sleeps through the night he will never go back to his old habits of waking up at night anymore?

No, I had 2 incidents happen which caused Baby Dozer to return to his "bad habit". The first one was mastitis and the second one was Chinese New Year (recently). 

For both cases, once the mastitis and Chinese New Year holidays were over, I repeated the methods recommended by Dana Obleman's book and was able to make Baby Dozer sleep through the night again in less than a week. 

I simply can't thank dearest Sylvia enough for recommending this book to me and literally saving my sanity! HUGS! 

Link to Dana Obleman's website: Sleepsense.net

If you find Gracious Little Things helpful, like my Facebook page at facebook.com/graciouslittlethings or Instagram at instagram.com/graciouslittlethings to receive updates whenever there’s a new post!

Also, please check out my new venture at facebook.com/littlebabygrains where I sell organic baby rice for your babies suitable from 6 months onwards!