My Love Affair With P
My love affair with P began when I was 10. In all truthfulness, I don't quite remember how old I was (I think it was 10 years old) but at least, I know it definitely happened when I was in primary school. It was a very unusual experience for one so young, even I admit that, but what an experience it was.
There was nothing vulgar or even sexual about it. My parents after all, were one of the strictest parents in the whole, wide world and had there been any whiff of inappropriateness, they would have put a stop to my love affair immediately. It was love in its purest, untarnished form.
When indulging in childhood nostalgia, thoughts of P come up from time to time, yet, till this day, I struggle to identify why I felt such a strong pull towards P. Was it because I didn’t have much excitement in my childhood? I remember how the days and afternoons after school used to stretch on endlessly. Or was it simplistically that P was just right for me, the way how puzzle pieces fit together to form a perfect picture?
I once confided in a friend about P. That was the first and last time I would tell anyone about P. My friend gave me a look, which clearly indicated how odd she thought I was. I attempted to introduce her to P, because people naturally doubt what they don't understand, but to the contrary, the meeting only resulted in my friend informing me that, "P is so scary!!! You're frightening me."
How could I tell anyone how I felt? The way P made me feel, it was as if I had been transported to a whole new world. It was magical, mysterious and so preciously private. I decided not to tell anyone about P anymore. It would be my little secret.
As time went on, our relationship became a little cool. I was growing up, and life was rapidly changing for me. P was growing up too, we were the same age. I went to college, P went abroad, and slowly and gently, P faded from my current life, only to remain as a sweet childhood memory. We never kept in touch.
A few months ago, I heard that P would be in Kuala Lumpur.
Looking back, I can't remember who broke the news to me about P’s visit to me. All I remember was...I was thrilled, nervous and excited. I was no longer that childish girl from my youth; I didn't feel the need to be furtive or hide anymore, and I even felt brave enough to tell my sister about it.
My sister, being my sister, promptly took action. She seized the chance before it was lost, perhaps never to return again and made sure to rekindle the love I had with P.
Within days of divulging the news to her, my sister bought tickets to see P, the Phantom of the Opera!
That was how I spent the most magical night of my life over the weekend, with P, finally seeing those songs that I had played endlessly on my cassette tape, being performed in front of me.
It was indeed my childhood dream come true.
All those hours spent poring over pictures of the musical, imagining every second of how it would be like in real life. To be able to finally catch this musical in Malaysia was indeed an unexpected blessing. After all, they had never toured Malaysia.
Till this day, people tell me I never had a childhood. I didn't grow up watching Doraemon, or owning a Tamagotchi. Of course, I did watch TV occasionally, and my aunt bought me a Digimon, but because these experiences weren't from my parents, they were far and few in between. My parents believed in a different sort of upbringing.
I remember the day my mother returned from work with a stack of cassette tapes in her hand and a set of photocopied A4 sized pages stapled together. The tapes were a recording of the Phantom of the Opera, and Les Miserables, and the papers were the lyrics to the musicals. Her colleague had given them to her, specially for me. I played those tapes endlessly and my sister and I held countless musical performances in the comfort of our home, with a strong cast of two - my sister and me.
I may not have had the most typical childhood, but for me, it is the best I could ever have had. To have the love and appreciation of music, cultivated at a young age, and to have had the opportunity of being exposed to something other than Spice Girls, is an education that is expensive to come by, in our country.
I mentioned that P and I went our separate ways as I grew up, but I realise that that is not true. Many years later, as a teenager, I met an American boy, who was studying in an international school in Kuala Lumpur. We chatted amicably and politely, until suddenly, we discovered our mutual interest in P. It was as if we had discovered a new language, which only both of us knew how to speak, and we ended the session with the feeling of having found a friend.
As cool as I may make it sound (or not), it was not very cool to grow up as an unusual child. The good thing about being unusual though, is it teaches you to be less concerned about what the world may think of you, and inevitably, I learned to be comfortable with discomfort.
My parents acquainted me with music, culture and history through books, art, piano and violin classes, and experiences like the Phantom of the Opera. Eventually, arts and music became a part of my life, and it is there till this day. It doesn't take a cultured parent to give their children such an experience. All it takes is an open mind and a progressive attitude and who knows what worlds you can open for your child?